It seems to me, most of the ones deemed "weak" were those who were high spirited kids, those a bit outside of the "9 dots." They were those who wouldn't fit into TWI's 9 dots. They were not good TWI stepford wives.
I was asked several times by high up leadership when I would walk and fit into the 9 dots. I would think to myself, probably never...
TWI's attitude of sending people off to areas or doing challenges because they wanted to see if it would make them or "break" them is truly reprehensible. They should have been thankful for what they had instead of seeing who they could destroy and throw out.
Anyone in my book, who gave up their "normal" life to do the corps had something wonderful in them. Of course, what TWI perverted that goodness into in many of them is another story.
breakfast of granola & hot apple cider with people scurrying around for the trip home. We still didn't have all the details but it was something about Craig Martindale coming from HQ to bring us home. They told us to be ready to start the process of leaving at 7:am.
My "invalids and other sick folk" as I called them were sitting around the table when Craig walked in and sat - directly accross the table from me. He was doing som miscellaneous stuff when W@yne S@ars
(The full extent of W#yne's injuries was about four stitches on one of his fingers. He told me of how, right at the point of impact somebody had just hit the punchline of some really funny joke. He said, "One second I was busting out laughing, the next I was flying through the air like Superman. I saw the ground coming up at my face and said, OH, SH!T!!!! Closed my eyes & felt myself flip over, hit the ground and roll and land on my feet! My FINGER was bleeding, but I dunno how!)
...asked him (LCM) a question. That got him started. Many words and minutes flew by, there he was Pres. of TWI sitting with us "sharing" all this stuff.
I wondered, thinking, he has found his "richest prize, Eyes that open and hearts that ask." At the time I felt "privileged" that he was spending time with us. He went on and on about "principle" and having it ingrained in a man's life and some detail of how to see it. This turned into an expose on "whats happening" around the campuses, tings like the Govenor of Kansas' visit to Emporia and the Kansas Board of Regents visting the campus. He said how impressed they were with our campus, etc. and their comments about it. This, that & the other thing. He droned on and on. Eventually he spoke of how Don Wierwille's educational philosophy is as unique to the world of Education as Dr.VPW's is to the world of Biblical research.
It was like this beautiful music was playing then the record scratched.......>werereetpbt!"
At that point he lost my attention, probably everyone else's too cause he wrapped up soon after that, excused himself & said he was gonna go eat a breakfast that, "could choke a horse."
quote: He really said that folks. That "unique Educational philosophy" crap. I can't believe it either! It IS in my journal. It its mY handwriting
I remember back then someone saying that at HQ after the accident, LCM had to go ask Dr. W "what should I do?" It didn't even occur to him to get his foot on the plane and just go. You know, like when you love someone and they are hurt, you don't even think twice. He had to be told. But doesn't that just prove it all. LCM always ranted about not being pansies and having syrupy love, that it's all about standing and being tough, that's real love (can't ya just hear it now)
What you guys needed was real love, God's tender touch and healing hand. LCM was not capable of that kind of love. It wasn't in his soul. That's the one thing I remember most about that man, his soul-less demeanor, and lack of tenderness. (And Jesus, being moved with compassion, healed him).
HCW - I remember we talked about this at Gunnison a couple months after it happened. I really want to apolagize to you because I was so Wayized that I had some of the why can't you believe God and move on idea in my head. I guess I've grown up a bit in the past 20 years. I wish I could have been more of a help to you.
I knew Rochelle very well. We sat around together every night after class at HQ. She got through to me the seriousness of what had happened. When I was told that she died the world stopped
I remember you saying you had lost a couple of inches of height after the accident, I pray that this is not still afflicting you. I know that you'll forever feel inside what happened, I hope that physically you've gotten relief.
we all dove into our sack lunches (again the SACK lunch!) at least these were better than your average WC sack lunch, and Craig led some singing of more of these wierd songs. He told some of his jokes too. He manages to come up with some new ones regularly; I don't know WHERE he he gets such stupid stuff. Some of it is actually clever though.
At first I thought it was great the way he made sure we were occupied so that we didn't see the crash site as we drove by it. I wanted to see it though. I felt a little leery of the first part of the bus ride. So I'm wondering if it was probably not the best idea to see the site of the crash.
I still wanted to though; I wanted to see it. I felt I NEEDED to see it to add a measure of reality to the waves of images that keep crashing into my mind. By now, days later, it seems more like a nightmare, a horror movie of an experience, than an actual thing that really happened.
We had stayed at the lodge until getting the OK for some of the more critically injured to get the release to travel back. Most hospitalized were treated and released from emergency rooms. We didn't get to see the ones who were really hurt bad, we didn't get to visit them in the hospital. I was having trouble processing the whole thing without seeing stuff.
It was exciting for us all that Craig brought Ambassador One to fly us back to Emporia. The thought of hitchhiking back actually crossed my mind at one point.......NAW! They better NOT do that to us! It was exciting & all that. It was kinda cool to be able to say we spent some time w/ Craig, but I really wanted, needed to go back to the site. I wanted to look at it. See the truck, touch it, climb around on it. I wanted to mourn the injuries THERE at the spot where it happened.
More importantly. I wanted to stand there at the spot where we crashed and PRAY. Pray to God for quick recoveries, restored wholeness to fallen friends, mental soundness. I wanted to see that ravine that swallowed up our lives that day & spit us out so violently. I wanted to stand there, on the very spot and claim the VICTORY my buddy Gl@n spoke of.
I was SO glad that Donnie told us what "they" thought of us. It was SO great that Kevin and he and the others ran LEAD 104 (Grrrr... "Growl when you say that buddy.") with an in your FACE!!!! attitude.
I wanted to stand. On the VERY SPOT where the devil tried to KILL me; and my friends and SCREAM, at the TOP of my lungs, scream at the devil, all of us - - together, with attitude now:
You're getting a little ahead on the story... but. Since you ask.
After 10 years of chiropractic treatments I've regained more than an inch of my former height.
However. I have been in pain every day of my life since then. So much so that I don't remember what it is like to not feel pain anywhere.
BUT. You may remember that prior to the crash I was into martial arts. "Coincidentally..." the church I attend has a world class, multiple WORLD champion black belt in Kuk Sool Won as a member. He runs a class there at the church that I'm currently taking with my two sons.
I will be ready to test for my Black Belt, at the same time my sons do, probably by this time next year.
Did you ever talk to Kevin S. after the crash? Did he know about what eventually happened to Rochelle? Do you think he understands the impact of that crash on all of your lives? If he does, I can't imagine the guilt he must live with.
Do you know if Kevin S or others involved are still with TWI? I don't want to interrupt the flow of your story, so if you can't answer any of these questions until later, I understand.
I didn't have timne to read all of this, but it is very interesting. I have to go back to work, but will pick up again on page three. Thanks HCW. I heard about it, had some friends who were in on it (Kev Smith is an old friend), and so these detail are interesting...
As to the question about another LEAD style program. Steve Armstrong is doing it, and has taken a number of young folks back to the summit of Sunset peak. He even has a written account of the first time he went back with his sons and daughters and some other younguns. It is an excellent account, and a program that I'd send my own kids on. I'm going to as a matter of fact..
I loved LEAD the two times I went. It was very good for me. It was horrible that the accident happened. I didn't know that Steve Spielberg was there. The girls in my WOW family witnessed to him out in L.A. It was nice to see how he handled the situation. But he's a hard headed German anyway... :)-->
I think I've only laid eyes on Kevin maybe twice since I last left Tinnie. We may have chatted at the next Corps week or something. We never really talked much about the crash aside from the night of or maybe the day after when he showed me a bruise on his chest in the shape of the steering wheel.
You could almost read the Ford logo on it.
I don't know the answers to the rest. I sincerely hope Kevin heard about Rochelle before
now.
I never felt any compulsion to talk w/ kevin about the accident. I feel like we "had a moment" inside the cab before the others from the other truck got to us. Replaying the events of the crash in my head about a billion times since then; I think we were both knocked unconscious upon impact with the windshield.
No. We weren't wearing seatbelts. I have no real recollection from the smashing windshield around my face & head & falling/flopping until sounds/lights of people yelling & footsteps hitting metal.
At one point during all that melee we turned and looked at each other, our eyes sorta locked together - - in - a - - - MOMENT. We didn't say a word to each other, beyond "you ok???" I looked at the blood on his head & hands, I saw some blood on my right hand. It was like, 'nothing broken - - let's GO! We just climbed out of the truck as fast as we could skinny through the window. He went one way I went the other. I felt a "connection" w/ him, right then... hard to explain.
People were hurting, they needed help, there wasn't a second to waste.
We've all probably, heard of this "God gear" thing. That day could make a good case for it. I actually thought I wasn't injured beyond a few cuts on my hand & being "a little banged up." He probably felt the same way.
Looking back, I think we were ALL severely traumatized by what we saw that day.
The Ambassador One flight crew treated us like dignitaries, heroes or something. I remember people at the airport looking at us like "what the hey?" Who ARE these people?
People on crutches, arms in slings, heads wrapped, other bandages, etc. Even boarding the plane was a "thing." They played an in flight movie, people shared on the microphone about the LEAD session. It was cool. I declined the chance to speak & let others talk about it, mainly because I was writing in this journal. Craig talked but I honestly don't remember a word he said.
We cheered when Fr@nk Card%llo, the Amb1 pilot announced were doing a fly-by, circling the campus at Emporia. He tipped the wings of the plane so we could see there were people out on the grounds waving at the plane. I cried - again. Earlier that morning we were in that far away, stange land, Twighlight Zone. Now we're circling above the 40 acres, our "home" for now, The Way College of Emporia.
We landed super smoothly on Kansas soil and there was an entourage and caravan from the college waiting. They gave us a standing ovation as we disembarked. It was heartwarming. At the campus they had all of the Corps, Staff & College Division line the circle drive to welcome us home like heroes. That was nice too.
I didn't feel like no stinking hero. I shook a few hands, gave and received a few hugs, went and collapsed on my bed in my room. We were given the rest of the day off. I slept most of it.
Did I read this correctly? I don't recall you saying that LCM asked if anyone was ok when he sat down with you guys in the morning in Tinnie? Am I right?
HCW, didn't anyone go to the hospital or even call these people that were there? I would think the first thing to do if they were so called family that is what should have been done?
What I mean to say is wouldn't that be the first place to go? Get everyone to the hospital? Be with friends that are hurt and make sure everyone else is ok?
HCW, I'm so sorry you all had this horrid experience. (Boy, words are so inadequate!) I was at HQ, and I heard that there'd been an accident, but none of the details.
I'm so thankful that people like Elly and Art were there to comfort you. Such hearts of love and wisdom. I can't imagine what you went through, but I'm glad you can talk about it here with us.
Recommended Posts
Top Posters In This Topic
56
86
130
30
Popular Days
Feb 8
103
Feb 9
99
Feb 2
95
Feb 3
61
Top Posters In This Topic
excathedra 56 posts
satori001 86 posts
HCW 130 posts
A la prochaine 30 posts
Popular Days
Feb 8 2005
103 posts
Feb 9 2005
99 posts
Feb 2 2005
95 posts
Feb 3 2005
61 posts
Popular Posts
HCW
As far as standing up, talking back. People did that a lot, especially after POP. People got "mad as hell, and we're not gonna take it anymore!" Of my personal pet peeves was the whole money thing. T
HAPe4me
I never participated in it, but I always thought it sounded like "Outward Bound", which has been measurably more successful in achieving it's participant's goals.
So_crates
Yes, but then there's the counter teaching: If you obey the MOG, God will bless you. So what do you do when the MOG orders you to act recklessly? Rhetorical question. SoCrates
Sunesis
It seems to me, most of the ones deemed "weak" were those who were high spirited kids, those a bit outside of the "9 dots." They were those who wouldn't fit into TWI's 9 dots. They were not good TWI stepford wives.
I was asked several times by high up leadership when I would walk and fit into the 9 dots. I would think to myself, probably never...
TWI's attitude of sending people off to areas or doing challenges because they wanted to see if it would make them or "break" them is truly reprehensible. They should have been thankful for what they had instead of seeing who they could destroy and throw out.
Anyone in my book, who gave up their "normal" life to do the corps had something wonderful in them. Of course, what TWI perverted that goodness into in many of them is another story.
Keep sharing HCW.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
HCW
In the morning we awoke to
breakfast of granola & hot apple cider with people scurrying around for the trip home. We still didn't have all the details but it was something about Craig Martindale coming from HQ to bring us home. They told us to be ready to start the process of leaving at 7:am.
My "invalids and other sick folk" as I called them were sitting around the table when Craig walked in and sat - directly accross the table from me. He was doing som miscellaneous stuff when W@yne S@ars
(The full extent of W#yne's injuries was about four stitches on one of his fingers. He told me of how, right at the point of impact somebody had just hit the punchline of some really funny joke. He said, "One second I was busting out laughing, the next I was flying through the air like Superman. I saw the ground coming up at my face and said, OH, SH!T!!!! Closed my eyes & felt myself flip over, hit the ground and roll and land on my feet! My FINGER was bleeding, but I dunno how!)
...asked him (LCM) a question. That got him started. Many words and minutes flew by, there he was Pres. of TWI sitting with us "sharing" all this stuff.
I wondered, thinking, he has found his "richest prize, Eyes that open and hearts that ask." At the time I felt "privileged" that he was spending time with us. He went on and on about "principle" and having it ingrained in a man's life and some detail of how to see it. This turned into an expose on "whats happening" around the campuses, tings like the Govenor of Kansas' visit to Emporia and the Kansas Board of Regents visting the campus. He said how impressed they were with our campus, etc. and their comments about it. This, that & the other thing. He droned on and on. Eventually he spoke of how Don Wierwille's educational philosophy is as unique to the world of Education as Dr.VPW's is to the world of Biblical research.
It was like this beautiful music was playing then the record scratched.......>werereetpbt!"
At that point he lost my attention, probably everyone else's too cause he wrapped up soon after that, excused himself & said he was gonna go eat a breakfast that, "could choke a horse."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
wondering
HCM,
I remember back then someone saying that at HQ after the accident, LCM had to go ask Dr. W "what should I do?" It didn't even occur to him to get his foot on the plane and just go. You know, like when you love someone and they are hurt, you don't even think twice. He had to be told. But doesn't that just prove it all. LCM always ranted about not being pansies and having syrupy love, that it's all about standing and being tough, that's real love (can't ya just hear it now)
What you guys needed was real love, God's tender touch and healing hand. LCM was not capable of that kind of love. It wasn't in his soul. That's the one thing I remember most about that man, his soul-less demeanor, and lack of tenderness. (And Jesus, being moved with compassion, healed him).
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Out There
HCW - I remember we talked about this at Gunnison a couple months after it happened. I really want to apolagize to you because I was so Wayized that I had some of the why can't you believe God and move on idea in my head. I guess I've grown up a bit in the past 20 years. I wish I could have been more of a help to you.
I knew Rochelle very well. We sat around together every night after class at HQ. She got through to me the seriousness of what had happened. When I was told that she died the world stopped
I remember you saying you had lost a couple of inches of height after the accident, I pray that this is not still afflicting you. I know that you'll forever feel inside what happened, I hope that physically you've gotten relief.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
HCW
On the bus to the airport
we all dove into our sack lunches (again the SACK lunch!) at least these were better than your average WC sack lunch, and Craig led some singing of more of these wierd songs. He told some of his jokes too. He manages to come up with some new ones regularly; I don't know WHERE he he gets such stupid stuff. Some of it is actually clever though.
At first I thought it was great the way he made sure we were occupied so that we didn't see the crash site as we drove by it. I wanted to see it though. I felt a little leery of the first part of the bus ride. So I'm wondering if it was probably not the best idea to see the site of the crash.
I still wanted to though; I wanted to see it. I felt I NEEDED to see it to add a measure of reality to the waves of images that keep crashing into my mind. By now, days later, it seems more like a nightmare, a horror movie of an experience, than an actual thing that really happened.
We had stayed at the lodge until getting the OK for some of the more critically injured to get the release to travel back. Most hospitalized were treated and released from emergency rooms. We didn't get to see the ones who were really hurt bad, we didn't get to visit them in the hospital. I was having trouble processing the whole thing without seeing stuff.
It was exciting for us all that Craig brought Ambassador One to fly us back to Emporia. The thought of hitchhiking back actually crossed my mind at one point.......NAW! They better NOT do that to us! It was exciting & all that. It was kinda cool to be able to say we spent some time w/ Craig, but I really wanted, needed to go back to the site. I wanted to look at it. See the truck, touch it, climb around on it. I wanted to mourn the injuries THERE at the spot where it happened.
More importantly. I wanted to stand there at the spot where we crashed and PRAY. Pray to God for quick recoveries, restored wholeness to fallen friends, mental soundness. I wanted to see that ravine that swallowed up our lives that day & spit us out so violently. I wanted to stand there, on the very spot and claim the VICTORY my buddy Gl@n spoke of.
I was SO glad that Donnie told us what "they" thought of us. It was SO great that Kevin and he and the others ran LEAD 104 (Grrrr... "Growl when you say that buddy.") with an in your FACE!!!! attitude.
I wanted to stand. On the VERY SPOT where the devil tried to KILL me; and my friends and SCREAM, at the TOP of my lungs, scream at the devil, all of us - - together, with attitude now:
My arms, and my legs are like STEEL.
My hands are like vice grips.
My feet are like Hind's feet,
And my mind is like CHRIST'S.
I CAN do ALL things.
LEAD 104!!!!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
HCW
GRRRRR.........
Almost forgot the growl.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hope R.
Quick question HCW - if you can remember...
How many of Lead 104 stayed in the hospital after you left? Do you recall for how long?
Thanks again for telling your story. You're a great writer, BTW...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
HCW
Hellooo Out There!
Thanks. Apology accepted. I've grown up some too.
You're getting a little ahead on the story... but. Since you ask.
After 10 years of chiropractic treatments I've regained more than an inch of my former height.
However. I have been in pain every day of my life since then. So much so that I don't remember what it is like to not feel pain anywhere.
BUT. You may remember that prior to the crash I was into martial arts. "Coincidentally..." the church I attend has a world class, multiple WORLD champion black belt in Kuk Sool Won as a member. He runs a class there at the church that I'm currently taking with my two sons.
I will be ready to test for my Black Belt, at the same time my sons do, probably by this time next year.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
HCW
Thanks Hope. I think there was only one or two people that didn't make the trip back on the plane. Don't know ho long they stayed.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
wondering
Yes, that's right, I believe they were out 1/2 the year. I know it was a long, long time.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
HCW
On the "great writer thing'???
Maybe its "God Breathed" like PFAL.
:)--> 
:D--> 
-->
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
waterbuffalo
HCW,
Was everyone medically examined? It sounded like you and some others weren't.
Just wondered why everyone wouldn't have been examined after a serious accident like that.
Some injuries don't show up until much later and it sounds like you did what you were told and went back to the lodge.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Scout Finch
HCW,
Did you ever talk to Kevin S. after the crash? Did he know about what eventually happened to Rochelle? Do you think he understands the impact of that crash on all of your lives? If he does, I can't imagine the guilt he must live with.
Do you know if Kevin S or others involved are still with TWI? I don't want to interrupt the flow of your story, so if you can't answer any of these questions until later, I understand.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
J0nny Ling0
I didn't have timne to read all of this, but it is very interesting. I have to go back to work, but will pick up again on page three. Thanks HCW. I heard about it, had some friends who were in on it (Kev Smith is an old friend), and so these detail are interesting...
As to the question about another LEAD style program. Steve Armstrong is doing it, and has taken a number of young folks back to the summit of Sunset peak. He even has a written account of the first time he went back with his sons and daughters and some other younguns. It is an excellent account, and a program that I'd send my own kids on. I'm going to as a matter of fact..
You can read about it at
http://www.cicword.com/Sojourn.htm
I loved LEAD the two times I went. It was very good for me. It was horrible that the accident happened. I didn't know that Steve Spielberg was there. The girls in my WOW family witnessed to him out in L.A. It was nice to see how he handled the situation. But he's a hard headed German anyway...
:)-->
Link to comment
Share on other sites
HCW
I think I've only laid eyes on Kevin maybe twice since I last left Tinnie. We may have chatted at the next Corps week or something. We never really talked much about the crash aside from the night of or maybe the day after when he showed me a bruise on his chest in the shape of the steering wheel.
You could almost read the Ford logo on it.
I don't know the answers to the rest. I sincerely hope Kevin heard about Rochelle before
now.
I never felt any compulsion to talk w/ kevin about the accident. I feel like we "had a moment" inside the cab before the others from the other truck got to us. Replaying the events of the crash in my head about a billion times since then; I think we were both knocked unconscious upon impact with the windshield.
No. We weren't wearing seatbelts. I have no real recollection from the smashing windshield around my face & head & falling/flopping until sounds/lights of people yelling & footsteps hitting metal.
At one point during all that melee we turned and looked at each other, our eyes sorta locked together - - in - a - - - MOMENT. We didn't say a word to each other, beyond "you ok???" I looked at the blood on his head & hands, I saw some blood on my right hand. It was like, 'nothing broken - - let's GO! We just climbed out of the truck as fast as we could skinny through the window. He went one way I went the other. I felt a "connection" w/ him, right then... hard to explain.
People were hurting, they needed help, there wasn't a second to waste.
We've all probably, heard of this "God gear" thing. That day could make a good case for it. I actually thought I wasn't injured beyond a few cuts on my hand & being "a little banged up." He probably felt the same way.
Looking back, I think we were ALL severely traumatized by what we saw that day.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
HCW
The Ambassador One flight crew treated us like dignitaries, heroes or something. I remember people at the airport looking at us like "what the hey?" Who ARE these people?
People on crutches, arms in slings, heads wrapped, other bandages, etc. Even boarding the plane was a "thing." They played an in flight movie, people shared on the microphone about the LEAD session. It was cool. I declined the chance to speak & let others talk about it, mainly because I was writing in this journal. Craig talked but I honestly don't remember a word he said.
We cheered when Fr@nk Card%llo, the Amb1 pilot announced were doing a fly-by, circling the campus at Emporia. He tipped the wings of the plane so we could see there were people out on the grounds waving at the plane. I cried - again. Earlier that morning we were in that far away, stange land, Twighlight Zone. Now we're circling above the 40 acres, our "home" for now, The Way College of Emporia.
We landed super smoothly on Kansas soil and there was an entourage and caravan from the college waiting. They gave us a standing ovation as we disembarked. It was heartwarming. At the campus they had all of the Corps, Staff & College Division line the circle drive to welcome us home like heroes. That was nice too.
I didn't feel like no stinking hero. I shook a few hands, gave and received a few hugs, went and collapsed on my bed in my room. We were given the rest of the day off. I slept most of it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
choo choo (derail) how'd things turn out with your wonderful kid today at the ceremony ?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
A la prochaine
HCW,
Did I read this correctly? I don't recall you saying that LCM asked if anyone was ok when he sat down with you guys in the morning in Tinnie? Am I right?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
vickles
HCW, didn't anyone go to the hospital or even call these people that were there? I would think the first thing to do if they were so called family that is what should have been done?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
vickles
What I mean to say is wouldn't that be the first place to go? Get everyone to the hospital? Be with friends that are hurt and make sure everyone else is ok?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Eagle
We still don't know how Rochelle died in the summer of '83. Anyone know how this happened?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
poor rochelle committed suicide after they threw her out of the corps i believe
correct me if i'm wrong, but she used the pain pills she had gotten from being hurt in the lead accident
also, sunesis (who loved her very much) said she had suffered from this before. but i guess they didn't think about these things, i don't know
broken heart.....
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Linda Z
HCW, I'm so sorry you all had this horrid experience. (Boy, words are so inadequate!) I was at HQ, and I heard that there'd been an accident, but none of the details.
I'm so thankful that people like Elly and Art were there to comfort you. Such hearts of love and wisdom. I can't imagine what you went through, but I'm glad you can talk about it here with us.
Love you,
Linda
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.