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mj412

please help me decide what to do .

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ok .

this is not easy for me but I do want some of you guys to help me. Here is my story

a million years ago I got a butch of high School kids involved in a cult . some stayed for a while and left some well you know yada yada yada

some are in the off shoots. SOME turned into big time leaders of said cult .

Got me? Well oo this is not easy . We are having a party the group of kids who hung out in the day !

The host was a major player in the way by my hand . I had left, talked to him and it was ugly. and hurt me for 6 months I cried.

did I metion these were chums from many years before twi? I love them dearly we saw the death of my brother and another dear friend as young adults we love each other and always will.

some people who are going never got involed many only slightly and never thought about anything regarding twi. but then the one who is having the party is or was big into it and me I was the one who got them involved.

The way I see it if they are out they may hate my guts for getting them involed . if they are In they may hate me for speaking against the involement.

I feel very very afraid . I want to go and see everyone I am lonely and want to see the folks who I spent so much time with, BUT I do not need stress now I have lost my job and life is hanging on by a thread around here .

what do you think GS? yeah or nay? any advice on how to handle the situation would be great!

I know this sounds simple but for me it just isnt I struggle with this part of mylife greatly all those I got involved etc.. please help.

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God bless you Mj412

I would go if I was you

If he the host he knows you are invited

You call if too ask direction to house or etc and see how he reacts

If all fails you can leave early

Bless your heart

Roy

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MJ

Not being a professional---I can olny offer a few ideas.

1. some of the people that hate you do because they hate themselves and havent come to terms with the sucky parts of life....Dont be with them! doenst mean they wont change in the future...but right now is not a time to bring that into your life.....You can also be the one that takes the high road...and not say anything...if soemone says something...tell them you would be glad to get with them...outside of "said" party.

2. make some new friends...believe it or not...there are people that never heard of the way that were in marriages that made way living look easy. I have several friends that I have confided in, and they me regarding dumb decisions with long lasting consequences...we are closer than sisters, I never thought I would find frineds like that after leaving the way and was really scared about that, but I still do believe God hears my prayers in that regard...

Joel--"The Lord will restore that which the locusts hath eaten..."

Don't despair---I hated not having friends, and that was probably the scariest consequence to me oabout taking a stand AGAINST TWI and everything it stood for.

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Interesting you should bring this up. I have been reading where it's said we "got so and so in the word, in the ministry". I never get that.

Did we really have that much control over another person's life? Did we force them to go to a twig/fellowship/picnic/event? When someone we witnessed to went into the corps, went wow, got a leadership position, got hurt, was it our fault because we were the one that trapped them between PayLess Shoes and the food court in the Mall?

Wasn't the word that you or any of us 'got someone into' there before they showed up?

If you have such trouble being in a social setting with these folks, don't go. Is it worth your own emotional health to go and be stressed out and have a lousy time? Stay home and relax, knowing you are not putting yourself in a position where you know you will be miserable, uncomfortable and unhappy.

Don't let them 'get you into the party'.

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no he may not realize we are a rather large group of folks but then again he probably does...

they live in another state, this is a vist.. probably here with family for the holidays and wants to arrange a meeting. oh God does no one understand how I lose my ability to remain calm in these type of gatherings?

Indeed I can leave early . simple answer to that But how many months do I need to recover after wards???

so if I go what do you guys think I should say? yeah Im great? not really . I just do not want to be slapped with I told ya so or whatever living hell can happen that goes thorugh my mind when dealing with cult people .

remember I love these people ... then the cult.

In a way we have said good bye but do real friends ever really say good bye and I do not want to be the one who says Love isnt worth it all.

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shellon

in my case I sold the **** >

I sold the **** believe me I sold the ****.

but your right um what they did they did, I do not have guilt . But I am quite responsible. yes I got them involved because they care about me and what I was doing.

Love is involed shellon I think that is the most difficult part .

I sold it because I loved them some bought the program more than others ya know?

I still love them my love doesnt end esp. since we have genuine friendships involved as well not just cult things ya know. It may have been nearly a decade now... how do I know where they are I would like to know .

I do not end my love because it is uncomfortable.

I think . depends doesnt it? If it goes that way suck into their party as you say I just do not know they listened to me once do I not owe them the same?

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God bless you Mj412

call him COD if he is recover and out of the Way he will pick up the phone If he does not move on

Yes you could get hurt but you could get love too Now if he is still in the Way do not go

I would talk about things before Way came into your lifes

Are there not ones going there that never got into the Way

It is never easy to know what to do that why I say call and test the water

If you find out he is out the way later and that he had no hard feeling about you How would you of feel missing this thing

thank you

Roy

ps take your time thinking it over

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Im sure they are just flying in for the weekend .

they live in another state . I cant call them we have been out of touch. this is a e-mail thing going down the line. Also should I tell others who love him he is in town ? it is like an open invitation asking for everyone to get together.

maybe they miss us too... !

the group of friends were tight and the group of twi people were tight we are talking about a good chunk of my life not a mall scene here.

I was not a fly by night way person believe me . lol and I didnt get involved through anyone but me ..I believed it man I wasnt playing around.

I know some off shoots people I am inviting them. h@ll Yes !! I know some anti christians H@ll yes I willinvite them!

I know some folks who ended up like me wondering what the H@ll H@ll yes I will invite them!

I am going to tell everyone why not???

I will think about it . leave it up to prayer I guess and my own courage! lol

listen it happens to fall on my birthday as well does God have a sense of humor or what?? hehe

but sometimes thinking about it it isnt funny anymore ya know?

It would hurt to know they do not love me anymore.

that their love may still be connected to twi.

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mj said: But I am quite responsible. yes I got them involved

______________________________________________

Ok, well isn't is wonderful we live in a country where we have the right to take responsibility for everyone else actions if we so choose. Personally, the people that I witnessed to went without me draggin them kicking and screaming. I hold no responsibility for them, save for my children, who had no choice and myself, cuz I was just a duma##. Go, have fun, mingle, see old friends. You may just find yourself having the time of your life, why not? Worth a try eh?

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yes with the guy who got ordained it was actualy kicking and screaming!!! he was a rabid catholic!

I may go why not? your right. because Im afraid? of what? Well if they are angry I got them involved in a cult for one thing!!

or if they are now selling an off shoot let me say I can think of many issues that could come up!

when I say Im responsible I mean just that if they had not listened to me they wouldnt not have gotten sucked into many years of what ever we did and they did etc... they trusted me I trusted them we did it for Love at least I did. no regrets we all have quite grown up now, but I do owe them an explaination if it comes down to that.. but I am not sure if Im strong enough .

I aksed them in I aksed them to get out . Twi will never leave my life maybe you cant see that.. it isnt about moving on. I have no desire to lose people I have relationships with . people who claim to love me and I back. I stay friends with those in and out and any number of places in between . to me that is loving my neighbor and not judging.

I guess like roy says if I do not go I will wonder more wont I? it is partys like this that make me wish I drank alcohol tho.. thinking thinking... thank you

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yes Steve.

one problem is my life is a freaking mess right now so the old How are you thing isnt good for me either ! lol

I could lie and say freaking wonderful! but I wont .

your right I was to afraid to deal with something a few years ago and it HAUGHTS me to this day with wondering if I should have could have and what the difference could have been. I HATE THAT!

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mj,

I may be totally wrong about this, but here is what I think.

Those who "got out" before you did - if it ever comes up - will either let you know that they do not like to talk about God anymore - it is just a personal thing, or (& I think this will be the majority - if, as I say, it ever even comes up) they will say that, of course, they are eternally gratefull that you all got turned on to the Holy Spirit back when, and that, of course, He is a very part of their soul life and always will be (don't you know that? will be the tone). "TWI?" they'll say, "Why do you even bring that up? It was really an insignificant part of what happened. It didn't even matter." It will be a big thing in your mind; it won't even be in theirs.

Those who are still in? God help them if they want to turn the crowd on to TWI. The crowd is bigger than that. Trust me.

Speaking of being bigger than that, your crowd has roots going back before TWI. THAT'S what you have in common. That will define your reunion. I give it no more than 30 seconds, and it will be as if the group never parted and went their separate ways. Decades will almost instantly dissolve, and it will be exactly like it was BEFORE TWI.

EXACTLY!!! It will heal you down in the very center of your being.

At least that's what happened to me when my group had a reunion two summers ago. It was the first time I hooked up with my old friends in over 20 years.

They stood with me through grade school, adolescence, college, drugs, fights, cops & robbers. TWI? Phhfft! Nothing.

Go.

Tom

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Post on, Thom. Good words.

Patience, MJ.

I've felt and sometimes feel this way too.

With family, friends, and ex-WAY friends.

But it helps me to think of how life is big, and it is never over.

The rain has a way of finding the sea, and coming back down again.

What you should do?

Think of how its gonna feel when this reunion takes place, and happens just as Thom said. Hope for it. It will help get you through the pain of waiting more than blaming yourself will.

And don't worry about those you led in.

No one stops coming to crossroads in life.

Sorry to sound so positive.

But I am being as real as I can be.

icon_smile.gif:)-->

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Mj..Why would they invite you if they held you responsible for their association with the way? Their blaming you is a sure sign of their immaturity however, It may be a time for all to get together, share a great time and to prove to each other that no matter what the past has taught someone, you guys are still there for one another.

The person who may still be big in the way...

Well, I read in the way mag that a child was going to party of a non-way child and her mon tells her to remember that she is the only believer there and that God will take care of her.

For the ones that you introduced to the way...No, I don't believe that they will hate you or hold you responsibe...They woke up to the almight piece of crap and left just like you and the rest of us...

Almost bet ya Mj you'll enjoy the reunion. Have a great time nad let us know....

Bless You MJ, we've been in your shoes too.

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Mj,

I am not a professional...but my thoughts are that you should follow your heart. As Roy said, test the water....maybe take a leap in, it could be a belly flop but it could be a swan dive.

As an exwayfer you have suffered great pain, nothing that happens to you now in this context would be THAT unbearable....and you could find a great path of love and friendship and peace.

as they say in Reggae, "Cool Runnings" on the path of peace.

Radar icon_smile.gif:)-->

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It's my opinion (I'm not a professional, either) that you were just as much a victim of the Way as they were. The fact that you were an earlier victim, and witnessed to them, doesn't make you evil. You don't hold it against whoever loved you enough to "witness" to you, do you?

Heck, we were all just babies when we got suckered into that thing. If they are really your friends, they're going to understand that, and still love you. How many nights did you sit up with them, hold their hands, and love them into changing their lives for God? That's something nobody forgets.

The woman who got me into the Word is still in the Way, and the few times I have tried to contact her, she's been downright standoffish, bordering on rude. I still don't hold that against her, because I know that she did the best that she knew, at the time, for me.

I'd say "go," but only your heart and gut can tell you what you should do.

Good luck, sweetie-pie!

"Live just, and fear not."

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Do you have to go alone? Can't you take someone with you that understands?

Look you may have people treat you crappy. Can you deal with that? Because if you can deal with the worst that can happen, then go and expect the best.

Ifyou get yelled at say, "Sorry, I thought I was doing the right and loving thing by telling you about God. I am sorry it turned out to be a cult."

Those still in, well from all the posts here, will probably be weird towards you. So, if you can handle that then go. Really, they are mean? Then leave.

Dot_Matrix.gif

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Is this a joke?

lol

mj ~ here's my common cent$ worth ~

You could ask for the phone # in a reply e-mail IF you wanted to feel out the waters as Roy suggested...

or

You could 'fly by the seat of your pants'

...like in ~ go and have a good time!

If it's old friendships that could give you a boost, and you love them as you say you do ~ go for it!

Just don't be so attatched to any outcomes ~

If you allow yourself to be open, you'll probably be pleasantly surprised, while having fun and re-connecting.

I think you'll have a good old time.

Too much negativity from the Way hangs around all of us from time-to-time...focus on the good things about the people you care about.

After all, they are all adults now, right?

Life is tuff enough for everyone ~

I'd lighten-up and let a good time happen...if I wanted to go.

If it doesn't gel for you, well ~ you don't have to do THAT again..that's all there is to it..no big drama, no trap, and there is always a way out..lol.

There really isn't anything to be afraid of ~ they are just people you care about, right?

Love them up and party ~

Have fun!!!

(don't forget to bring along your sense of humor)

[This message was edited by Ginger Tea on November 10, 2003 at 21:21.]

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MJ, I know how scarey this may be for you but.... If you do decide to go....who knows someone there might know of a job for you.

I don't think they will be looking at how much of a mess you think you are but if they truly are your friends and love you they will be happy to spend time with you. It sounds like it could be a very healing time for you.

If you just can't do it have you thought about maybe e-mailing this person flying in and seeing if they would like to go out for a cup of coffee or tea or something?

I appreciate your honesty with this mj, you are not the only one that goes through these thoughts and feelings.

Ok!! I will not try to be a nice person...ok? I will not!!

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thank you guys so much.

I am going it will be a hoot to see how everyone got old ! I still think we are all eighteen on the edge of life ya know! Thomas you got the group right that is us! and then roomates and then marriages to one another and then not. it is quite the history .

One girl in particular has kept us all together and she e-mailed me today she said "Well if he is in I want to see him convert so and so ( this person is still a hard core biker at fifty ! lol

I think it was me the last get together that tried to agrue actualy with him and I was in an offshoot at the time ! I have since left the off shoot ! He is still in and ordained we suppose now . It is odd the way he is communicating he is in another state and isnt leaving any trail of phone or e-mail . odd isnt it? so very twi.

I know a guy who was recently kicked out and he isnt doing well went into a deep depression really and I am concerned about him . I met him while in he ran the class for me the first time and I have kind of kept in touch You know it is a small world.. but he made good friends with my friend fromhigh school who is in still. I would like him to go and talk to him and maybe it will help him see all is not lost.. he never had any friends outside of twi , it was his entire life and he is is in a different state than his family now and poor etc. . It is so weird now when i was M@A that guy never shunned me ever, was always kind and giving (he never knew me outside the way) yet my dear friend who I have known since childhood hung up the phone on me and yelled and screamed at me and was as nasty as could be (He is still in twi) . I told him I never wanted him to go to end up hating me and yet he did in the name of twi.

the nice guy who we met while in was kicked out about ten years later and let me tell you he did every single thing twi wanted from him, his entire life. he is just a loving guy and I want to find him and bring him so he can understand how this goes. They were good friends then.

It isnt that I think they "blame" me remember I was Marked and thrown out and no one still really know the real why of that and I wont talk about it anymore.False stories of what happened were generated at the time and my buddy freaking believed them over me and that f@cking HURT! many just took the class and went to fellowship with me . it is kind of like an I told you it was a cult thing.. but like thomas said it will all melt away it will and has. If they are in and want to see me then so be it.. he is like most twi freaks and sells it at least he did the last time and the last time it was still political with the ordained fighting over rulership and man did we get into it and I left crying. but I really have changed I do not care anymmore who is who and bible wars and me are over with. I am going . I dyed my grey hairs , now to lose about twenty pounds and iron my face somehow! hehe I want to take the guy who ran the first class for us . I think it would be good for him to see this guy and be at a party with folks who can and do mingle and love without twi at the freaking center of our life. I honestly do not think he ever has been to anything without the ministry attached to it. It would be great if my friend is out as well ! that would make my day! but some of them are in the off shoots and the saga continues ya know!

The friends I have that didnt go into the corps think he did it on his own they do not think it is about me they know his ego and that is what it took back then to move up the tree. most of us just went on with life as NORMAL !

thank you

love

mj412

[This message was edited by mj412 on November 11, 2003 at 12:34.]

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I know it may be difficult for some to understand why this was/is/could be an issue for me.

I didnt make up my mind and leave twi, you see I was thrown out in a scene of cr@p! I think I would still be involved today if I had not gone through that .

AND then I went back and left again ! and then the off shoots !

for some of you you had thoughts about it and just left oh no not me I had drama ! it is the drama I do not want to vist again and You know what I do not have too I can and will direct the course of my life now and be full of joy doing it.

but it took a Loooong time getting here, with many interuptions in between .

GS is one huge reason why I can now.

thank you .

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