Raf Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 (edited) Here's the deal. Figure out a humorous way to make some of your favorite movies/plays as short as possible. Examples: Star Wars: A New Hope Act One, Scene II "An escape pod just launched. No life signs aboard." "Well, blow it up anyway. Better safe than sorry." ***** Waiting for Godot Act One, Scene I Enter Godot ***** Edited December 20, 2005 by Raf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raf Posted December 20, 2005 Author Share Posted December 20, 2005 The Lord of the Rings Act One, Scene I In the fires of Mount Doom Elrond: "Isildur! Cast the ring into the fire!" Isildur: "Okay!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karmicdebt Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 This is funny. This morning I thought about coming up with a new game...I was thinking something like 6 degrees of separation... this is better. Now, if I only had the talent... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgeStGeorge Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 "Superman" Jor-el: Lara, the planet Krypton is going to explode! Lara: Well we could at least have saved our baby if you hadn't torn out that rocket engine to use in the barbecue grill! George Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karmicdebt Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 RETURN TO ME Act One Scene One "Grace has Bob's dead wife's heart!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raf Posted December 21, 2005 Author Share Posted December 21, 2005 Oh, K. :) Scream Scene One: A phone rings four times. Then a click... "You've reached the Becker residence. No one is available to take your call. Please leave a message at the sound of the tone. Thank you." Beeeeeeeep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karmicdebt Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 (edited) Was that too literal? 48 hours Scene One On a stake out; car littered with dunkin donut coffee cups and donut boxes. Reggie Hammond: How long was I asleep? Jack Cates: Two days... I know, I know and I'm not even blonde (no offense anyone!) :) Edited December 21, 2005 by karmicdebt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WordWolf Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Act I, Scene I. "How strange! You-Know-Who's dead body was found right next to little Harry Potter!" ============== Or Act I, Scene I. "What's all the celebrating about?" "Have you heard? You-Know-Who's dead! James Potter and Sirius Black caught him in a crossfire! The Ministry's still examining his body." ============== The Lord of the RingsAct One, Scene I In the fires of Mount Doom Elrond: "Isildur! Cast the ring into the fire!" Isildur: "Okay!" Not as short. "Fellowship of the Ring", at the Council in Rivendell of all the races on Middle-Earth. "What will we do with the ring?" "Gandalf will hitch a ride on Gwahir, the Wind Lord (that big bird.) He'll carry the thing in a sack, and release the sack once they're over Mount Doom!" "All right then! If all goes well, we can defeat Sauron before dinnertime!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgeStGeorge Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 "Batman" Thomas Wayne: Martha, let's take Bruce to a movie tonight. Martha: I'm too tired. Let's stay in and watch TV. George Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharon Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 Gone with the Wind~~ I don't need to eat.. Who are all these men? Is something burning? I'm outa here... he sure can kiss!! Tommorrow i'll deal with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakspear Posted December 25, 2005 Share Posted December 25, 2005 That Thing You Do: "Hey...get that dumbass drummer away from those parking meters..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raf Posted December 26, 2005 Author Share Posted December 26, 2005 Excellent! Sharon, the object is to cut the plot off before it starts, not just to summarize it. Example: West Side Story Tony and Maria meet at the dance. Tony: "Spic." Maria: "Wop." Sleepless in Seattle Meg Ryan sits in a car changing stations. "I hate talk radio. Wonder if the Flap Jackson show is playing any Pearl Jam." 24 Season One Jack: "Nina, can you take that meeting? I really need to get some sleep." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChasUFarley Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 Lincoln Mary Todd: Are you sure you don't want to go to the play? Abe: Yup. -------------------- JAWS Baby shark is caught in a tuna fishermen's net. ------------------- Stand By Me Let's go see a dead guy! Pull my finger. Leeches suck. Let's go home. ------------------------ The Lost Boys The non-vampires eat shrimp scampi for supper and have no worries because of their uber-garlic breath. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakspear Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 (edited) Back To The Future Marty: "unh...why did I set the alarm for midnight for?....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz" Clerks Dante: "H*ll NO I won't come in...I'm not supposed to be there today!" National Lampoon's Summer Vacation Clark Griswold: "Hoooneeeeyyy...I just heard on the radio that Wally World is closed for repairs..." Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan Chekhov (before beaming down): "Keptin, I remember this planet..." Edited December 29, 2005 by Oakspear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moony3424 Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 (edited) The Polar Express Of course I believe in Santa, now let me sleep or he won't come. Edited December 29, 2005 by moony3424 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WordWolf Posted December 29, 2005 Share Posted December 29, 2005 Back To The FutureMarty: "unh...why did I set the alarm for midnight for?....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz" National Lampoon's Summer Vacation Clark Griswold: "Hoooneeeeyyy...I just heard on the radio that Wally World is closed for repairs..." I like those. Star Trek II: The Wrath of KhanChekhov (before beaming down): "Keptin, I remember this planet..." You hit on an old complaint of that movie, which I wasn't thinking of. They're doing an astronomical survey, and didn't account for all the planets? Plus, entering the system, they didn't pull up any summary that said "Ceti Alpha 5 is a prison island." So, my shorter movie might have been... "Retrieving the system's data now. Holy Hannah! Check out the news on Ceti Alpha 5! Maybe we'd better skip the entire SYSTEM!" "No-let's just survey the system from space, and record the details. Hm-seems to be one planet MISSING. Send a message to Starfleet security with the data attached, and the notice on Ceti Alpha 5. They'll want to send someone to look into this." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Raf
The Lord of the Rings
Act One, Scene I
In the fires of Mount Doom
Elrond: "Isildur! Cast the ring into the fire!"
Isildur: "Okay!"
Link to comment
Share on other sites
karmicdebt
This is funny. This morning I thought about coming up with a new game...I was thinking something like 6 degrees of separation... this is better.
Now, if I only had the talent...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
"Superman"
Jor-el: Lara, the planet Krypton is going to explode!
Lara: Well we could at least have saved our baby if you hadn't torn out that rocket engine to use in the barbecue grill!
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
karmicdebt
RETURN TO ME
Act One Scene One
"Grace has Bob's dead wife's heart!"
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Raf
Oh, K.
:)
Scream
Scene One:
A phone rings four times. Then a click...
"You've reached the Becker residence. No one is available to take your call. Please leave a message at the sound of the tone. Thank you."
Beeeeeeeep.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
karmicdebt
Was that too literal?
48 hours
Scene One
On a stake out; car littered with dunkin donut coffee cups and donut boxes.
Reggie Hammond: How long was I asleep?
Jack Cates: Two days...
I know, I know and I'm not even blonde (no offense anyone!)
:)
Edited by karmicdebtLink to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
Act I, Scene I.
"How strange!
You-Know-Who's dead body was found right next to little Harry Potter!"
==============
Or
Act I, Scene I.
"What's all the celebrating about?"
"Have you heard?
You-Know-Who's dead!
James Potter and Sirius Black caught him in a crossfire!
The Ministry's still examining his body."
==============
Not as short.
"Fellowship of the Ring", at the Council in Rivendell of all
the races on Middle-Earth.
"What will we do with the ring?"
"Gandalf will hitch a ride on Gwahir, the Wind Lord (that big bird.)
He'll carry the thing in a sack, and release the sack
once they're over Mount Doom!"
"All right then!
If all goes well, we can defeat Sauron before dinnertime!"
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
"Batman"
Thomas Wayne: Martha, let's take Bruce to a movie tonight.
Martha: I'm too tired. Let's stay in and watch TV.
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
sharon
Gone with the Wind~~
I don't need to eat..
Who are all these men?
Is something burning?
I'm outa here...
he sure can kiss!!
Tommorrow i'll deal with this.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Oakspear
That Thing You Do:
"Hey...get that dumbass drummer away from those parking meters..."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Raf
Excellent!
Sharon, the object is to cut the plot off before it starts, not just to summarize it.
Example:
West Side Story
Tony and Maria meet at the dance.
Tony: "Spic."
Maria: "Wop."
Sleepless in Seattle
Meg Ryan sits in a car changing stations.
"I hate talk radio. Wonder if the Flap Jackson show is playing any Pearl Jam."
24
Season One
Jack: "Nina, can you take that meeting? I really need to get some sleep."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ChasUFarley
Lincoln
Mary Todd: Are you sure you don't want to go to the play?
Abe: Yup.
--------------------
JAWS
Baby shark is caught in a tuna fishermen's net.
-------------------
Stand By Me
Let's go see a dead guy!
Pull my finger.
Leeches suck.
Let's go home.
------------------------
The Lost Boys
The non-vampires eat shrimp scampi for supper and have no worries because of their uber-garlic breath.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Oakspear
Back To The Future
Marty: "unh...why did I set the alarm for midnight for?....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Clerks
Dante: "H*ll NO I won't come in...I'm not supposed to be there today!"
National Lampoon's Summer Vacation
Clark Griswold: "Hoooneeeeyyy...I just heard on the radio that Wally World is closed for repairs..."
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Chekhov (before beaming down): "Keptin, I remember this planet..."
Edited by OakspearLink to comment
Share on other sites
moony3424
The Polar Express
Of course I believe in Santa, now let me sleep or he won't come.
Edited by moony3424Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
I like those.
You hit on an old complaint of that movie, which I wasn't thinking of.
They're doing an astronomical survey, and didn't account for all
the planets? Plus, entering the system, they didn't pull up any
summary that said "Ceti Alpha 5 is a prison island."
So, my shorter movie might have been...
"Retrieving the system's data now. Holy Hannah! Check out the news on
Ceti Alpha 5! Maybe we'd better skip the entire SYSTEM!"
"No-let's just survey the system from space, and record the details.
Hm-seems to be one planet MISSING. Send a message to Starfleet
security with the data attached, and the notice on Ceti Alpha 5.
They'll want to send someone to look into this."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.