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Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian


CoolWaters
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Taken from Evil Bible.com:

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

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And Garth, I guess we're all glad there's no magical law of believing whereby extremists could literally wish out of existence anyone who disagreed with their own..............POOF

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This thread makes me thankful for PFAL. Numbers 8, 4, and 3 are not applicable to TWI. I'll start a top 10 list for atheists.

10) or 1) You call yourselves "educated" or "enlightened" yet you deny that there is any intelligent design behind the planets, the human body, and everything else that is not man made and lasts much longer than anything that IS man made.

Hey, no offense...all in fun.

Edited by johniam
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quote: 10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

Not outraged, superior!

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

Not insulted or dehumanized, superior!

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

This one I agree with.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

Scientifically established? That's funnier than God breathed. There is not one scientist who could walk into a classroom and accurately guess the ages of all the students, but I'm supposed to believe the earth is millions of years old? Nice try.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

Oh, NOW these people know what percent of prayers are answered by the average Christian? Don't tell me...it's "scientifically established"?

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Who needs to know their gossip about those things when you know GOD?

Well, now it's 1 out of 10 so I'm "L".

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Not outraged, superior!

This must be Sign Number 11. <_<

(Moderator, I believe I put up another post late last night addressing Johniam's responses here, and it seems to be missing. I'd like to know why please.)

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No posts in this topic have been deleted or modified.

Me thinks your post took a wrong turn on its way to the server. Perhaps it went to TWI’s web site instead? :)

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Garth: Why the double standard? How come it's OK for atheists to make fun of Christians, but not for Christians to make fun of atheists? Yeah, superior. I'm smart, they're dumb. I know the truth, they're fools. That's my position and I'm not ashamed of it. They feel the same way about me. What is the problem?

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Garth: Why the double standard? How come it's OK for atheists to make fun of Christians, but not for Christians to make fun of atheists? Yeah, superior. I'm smart, they're dumb. I know the truth, they're fools. That's my position and I'm not ashamed of it. They feel the same way about me. What is the problem?

I'm not Garth and I'm not answering for him.

I think you have a good point, johniam.

The point about "it's OK for atheists to make fun of Christians".

Whenever there is a line drawn in the sand by any side of the issue, and then insults, mockeries, names, etc. are lobbed back and forth over that line, it's nastiness regardless of which side it's coming from.

I used to have a bumper sticker that said, "Fundamentalism stops a thinking mind."

Many Christians were offended by that bumper sticker.

But no atheist or other fundamentalist type thinking group was offended.

I wondered why. I still wonder why. That bumper sticker did not single out Christians, so why did most people who read it think it did?

This topic did single out Christians. If I were trying to make a lucid argument with the list I posted, I would have to rewrite the whole thing to be about any fundamentalist group.

But I posted the list to be funny.

My previous responses to you were to be funny.

Much like the "Yo Momma" jokes, the man-bashing jokes, the blonde jokes and such found in the "Just Plain Silly" forum. I didn't try to post this in that forum because I didn't realize that one can now post a New Topic in that forum.

Would you not have been offended if I had posted this thread in that forum?

I'm asking because I honestly meant no offense...and mean no offense...to you or to anybody. Which is why I put that statement in the sub-topic.

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