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Stayed Too Long, thank you for writing this. I can only imagine the trauma of M&A. It had to be intense. As for me, my mental health has improved immensely over the last year or two. I have some tough stuff going on in my life at the moment, and tonight a friend asked me, "But is your mental health OK?" And I could honestly say, "Yes." That felt really good. I'm so grateful to be OK.

Thanks for the kind words, Twinky. To answer your questions above -- yes, I still visit mom there, and it's surreal to go there. I'm pretty much fine if we keep to ourselves. A few years ago, I went briefly into the OSC when people were there picking up meals. Familiar faces....people started saying hi and bless you and love you...and I had a panic attack and had to get out of there asap. I think the hardest part with my dad is that he's my dad -- what I mean by that is that I have some father-daughter memories that are pretty sweet; I have the father-daughter biological attachment and emotional attachment. I haven't yet been able to leave him completely behind because, in spite of everything, I love him. He's my dad. Anyway, thanks for your understanding and kindness. I value them quite a lot. <3

I make a whole wheat, sometimes a seedy, loaf sometimes. My basic recipe calls for 1 or 2 cups white and 3 or 2 cups wholemeal/whole wheat (4 cups altogether) but I usually make mine 1 white and 3 wholemeal/whole wheat/other. Full "brown" flour makes a rather denser loaf, a bit smaller. Experiment till you find a texture that you like.

BecomingMe I can only imagine the trauma you have gone through, and continue to deal with in your life. And the fortitude and strength it had to take to finally break from the Way, and especially from your dad. I can only look back at myself after bring M&A and the trauma it dealt to me. However, in retrospect, it does not compare to what you have, and are probably, still experiencing. I hope you still enjoy a loving relationship with your siblings. Whenever I read of posts such as yours, I am so thankful GSC is still here. I seriously do not know what my life would be like if GSC had not been around 20 some years ago. My life was at such a low point, opening my eyes each morning was terrible. All the love I received from other greasers pulled me through it though. (Although some of the political arguments were quite intense, LOL).