Ham

Internal memo: What to do/not to do when the MOG comes to your area. 1. When he arrives at the airport, resoundly slap him on the right cheek with your LEFT hand. 2. If it is morning, make sure you have TWO quarts of hot beer, for his breakfast. 3. On the way to his lodging at Motel 6, make sure the windows in your 1972 Lincoln are firmly and irrevokably rolled up. Smoke one of the biggest, cheapest cigars that you can possibly find, only after he consumes the two quarts of hot beer (see number 2). 4. Make sure you choose the proper spiritual setting for his presentation. A shared facility with a psychic fair, and Rainbow Coalition convention in ajoining rooms would be preferable. 5. In the podium, make sure that there are EXACTLY five rabbit turds for his greatness, cut PRECISELY in half, in a small, crystal bowl, along with a glass of salt water with which to choke them down. 6. The MOG delights in music. A good selection would be Stairway to Heaven or maybe even some good Jazz. 7. When he is praying, do not neglect to have at least a half a dozen or so of the followers, whispering, in a low tone. 8. When introducing said MOG, avoid using terms such as "Doctor", "Reverand", "His Eminence", or even "Mr." Remember that this protocol is the highest form of preparation, and preparation is the highest form of believing, and it MUST be observed!

Yep.. the Y2K thingy.. I left that one out because I was not involved with da group at that time. While the rest of the world were enjoying some of the best parties of the century, poor ole TWIers were cowering in a corner somewhere, zealously guarding their antibiotics, spam, and five gallons of distilled water.. whew, they barely made it through THAT one. Funny- even one of my old pre 1990 computers didn't get Y2K spurts..

Very likely hasn't changed, to this day. Friggin tyrants. Don't have the wherewithal to run a country down a hole, just have to settle with a second-rate cult somewhere.

Yep.. scam after scam after scam.. One averted disaster after another. The disturbing part is, I at one time believed all this stuff. Despite my upbringing and better judgement. Perhaps conditioned to believe it? Yep. Somebody somewhere probably tried to catch a falling electronic piano or something.. good ole Howie issued a warning to the household about the hazards of electronic music or something.. People still believe this. Even IF it was true, how can you claim the victory that the prayer of da faithful somehow moved the stone cold hearts of those who wished to exercise such tyranny over them.. good grief. There are probably over a dozen other groups claiming the same victory, that their preparedness somehow averted sure disaster.. just another good reason to keep said organizations in your financial planner I guess. I think maybe the MOST ludicrous thing I heard- "All life is spirit. Cancer has life in itself, therefore, cancer is a debil spurt". How easy is it to toss aside everything you know about biology, real science and more, to believe this one? Ludicrous doesn't even come close to describing this horrid assessment of a bad enough situation to begin with.

Steve, I wonder if somebody has it on tape somewhere, heh heh. I don't have a particular attraction to Wendy burgers, but give me a break.. Well, he must've "reached into daddy's cookie jar" for that one.. Most likely the real deal, they did this to other restaurants too

But maybe the water did indeed keep said character awake, during the most boring, mouth drooling teaching you could subject yourself to. He probably drank two or three gallons before the session, and had to pee so bad, nothing could put him to sleep..

Actually, butane lighters can be used as some kind of explosive.. the display is not very impressive, however. I think you have to make something out of them. Ordinarily, they won't do much more than light tobacco or a campfire.. But THIS WEB SITE explains where the hoax probably started, and TWI "brains" swallowed it hook line and sinker..

Satori, they could be mistaken. Sometimes they may be detecting millet.. just as disgusting, nonetheless.

Now Raf, "it" can be such a non-descriptive, subjective term.. But I'm dissapointed. How can a thread about oxygenated water get 621 replies, and 10910 views, when one about yellow water only gets 20 replies and 179 views? Its just plain tragic..

Yep. And despite the apparent lack of results, somehow, you still owe your life to that "organization".. No power to make you want to stay, but the only "power" proclaimed to be guaranteed is that which keeps you from even wanting to leave.. Don't wanna be like "them", subject to debils and all. Why, I'd rather be subject to rosie! Ptooie.

Feel free to comment on these gems of "truth" or add any you wish.. Just to me, it makes me wonder- where in the WORLD did they find somebody this ignorant, and give them a divinity degree (corps graduation)? I believe Loy ordained this jackass.. takes one to make one, I guess. But really- MOST sixth graders knows that with water, the atoms have already done all the "mating" they are gonna do. The molecules are already at the lowest energy level they are going to be. Water is not going to mysteriously give up any more energy. Scientifically speaking, the jackass is also a fraud.

I'll toss out the top three, in my opinion. Makes me wonder, how did some of those guys even get through high school? 1. Sorry, probably the hundreth time, but it is still as funny.. at least to me! The LIMB COORDINATOR (now a REGION coordinator -->) proved his obedience to the Almighty by not mixing bread and vegetables at his meals. This proved his honesty, sincerity and worth to the One True Household, because his digestive system would not get jumped by devils and confused, if ever the two should meet. (only SLIGHT embellishment here). 2. Same guy claims water will keep you awake during long boring classes. Why? Well, somehow the hydrogen and the oxygen in the water would somehow mate and mysteriously give you the added energy and motivation to sit awake in said situation. (next to NO embellishment here). 3. Well, that's nothing even close to Loy, the Pope and the aircraft carrier.. new inquisition coming you know. Known only by the mind of Loy, and of course it HAD to be revelation..

Yep.. the ghost of Loy they wish had departed..

Ah. That was the phrase, I wasn't exactly gonna put my finger on..

I had no idea. None whatsoever. At least until a couple of years after leaving that stinkhole. Neither did I know about how the corps were rustled up in the middle of the night to meet the mog as his presence returned to them in their location.. jeez, he probably didn't even notice the bodies lining the driveway.. "See? da people really love you.." Gads. It was like he was some kind of a god or something.. ptooie.

Not accusing you of this, you probably didn't have any other choice in the matter either. But.. Belle, that sounds like another "tasty" Ramen noodle banquet.. just add water, or a couple of verses. But they should be so thankful, so full of gratitude. They don't have to prepare, don't have to think, don't have to research. They made it too easy, in my opinion. Hey, next vey rag, maybe they could feature "the diet of der believer" by my very own ex state coordinator. I can see it now.. dim lights, a frisky confused voice.. "man shall not live by bread alone. He requires vegetables, just not at the same meal.."

Maybe that's why he hasn't shot himself in der balls. The spurts are way too busy working over his flashlight..

Took me a while to find it, but it is so funny I could never forget it.. Post by our own (previously) Uncle Hairy: Have to look about all the way down at the bottom of the page to see Groucho's comments..

You've surpassed yourself with this one Satori. But its true. I've seen em. Sometimes they leave graffitti in the dining room, "Mr. five star was here, ha ha ha ha ha." Whole nights and weekends rosie, "mr" Li**er, and crew have reputedly been observed having their underlings scrubbing, scraping and even repainting the joint. But to no avail. Mysteriously, Monday morning, the cryptic words will reappear, as if they have life in themselves.. not to be eliminated by rank amateurs.

Steve! I'm thinking about it.. probably won't take long.. Oh. "Why aren't we bringing NEW people!!??" I remember that question posed over and over again, as if the "leader"'s sobering lack of compassion, social skills and overall bad manners didn't have anything to do with it..

I don't think Loy could exercise any options in this regard..

I understand now. It was a one-time thingy- each time it happened. Now I see the mathmatical accuracy and scientific precision of the whole thing. Besides, he didn't CONTINUE to do so between said events.

Yep, very sad.. oh welcome Bliss. Just call me Ham.. But slowly making friendships in the community really helped me out when the big departure day came. I saw it coming, and I didn't think it was the end of the world or anything. Loy tried to set it up so those who left had NOWHERE TO GO. Orphans, out in the cold cruel world. I would suggest to find a few places to go before the big day arrives. Discretely, of course..

True, true.. but civic organizations is one of the things "good" ole loy boy singled out for rants. Plus all of the leadership "trained" under his thoughtful guidance.. First meeting I went to, they weren't offering me a free lunch (bribe) or anything. "Come here little wayfer, try some of this nice sweet candy.." My God, that is almost what I EXPECTED. Glad I went, and found some real human beings.. Reality and loy seemed to be rather at odds one with another. Funny thing- I didn't tell anybody I was going to this thing. Probably would have caught hell or something..

Ah, so THAT's what they are selling.. just another stinking protection racket. I don't need to give them fifteen percent of anything. I can hang up on telemarketers easy enough on my own..