laleo

George, I can so relate, except I never really knew what became of The Way, so it was always somewhere in the back of my mind, a loose end. I was very, very conflicted when I was directed to WayDale, half expecting to be bombarded with teachings from the collaterals (which I thought I barely remembered, but those twisted teachings sure came flooding back). I wasn't so sure I even wanted to revisit that part of my life . . . but, here I am. Still. In hindsight, it came at a good time for me, and I'm glad I had a place to unload it all, and grateful for the people who have shared this little corner of cyber-space with me. By the way, I thought your "catharsis" was entertaining. Glad you stuck around.

I got this movie as a birthday present. My daughter has watched it five times since then. She thinks it's the best movie ever conceived by man (or woman, whoever wrote the screen play). And it is funny and sweet, with a happy ending that's not too saccharine or sappy. It's a touching story, even the second time through, about a girl who makes it in life by staying true to herself. Worth watching, for any age. Good review, QQ.

"One was a woman I had known since my WOW year who couldn't think her way out of a paper bag, whose opinion was usually formed by the last person she had talked to. She and her husband didn't have enough brain cells between them to register on a postal scale. Another was my old WOW coordinator who I had little respect for because of his own abuses during our WOW year." Thanks for the laugh, Oakspear. I know whereof you speak. Oops. Forgot to answer the initial question: "How long was it between leaving mentally and leaving physically?" For me the whole thing was so gradual, leaving wasn't a trauma, or even a major event. I faded away. It was the last in a progression of steps, taken over time. However, I didn't realize how affected I was by the whole thing -- my involvement, and my leaving, and the decade afterwards when I had virtually no contact with anyone Way or ex-Way. The emotional impact upon finding WayDale was intense. I buried a lot of it, without even realizing how much was below the surface.

Happy Birthday, Holly! I have a lot of admiration (or maybe incredulity) for those of you women (and men, too) who have babies in your forties. I felt too old to be pregnant at thirty-two, and have since trusted modern science to put a limit on reproductive capabilities. I still occasionally feel a wave of terror that the unthinkable might occur, nature being so arbitrary and unpredictable, and capable of overriding the best of medical interventions. Just the thought of going through it all again is enough to convince me to opt out for the foot massage. I can't say much more than this because Zixar gets squeamish reading these sorts of confessions. Anyway, congratulations.

Really? I'll be on the other side of the George Washington Bridge tomorrow, but only briefly because I have to get back home in time for a birthday party here. I'm glad you enjoyed the celebration! Happy, Happy Birthday, Oakmom!!!!

Thanks for the laugh, chinson. Those were very entertaining quotes. I don't think I've heard them before.

This is a somewhat different genre than the movies you all are watching, but did any of you see Shattered Glass? What did you think? Even though I enjoyed it, I thought the story would have made a better documentary than a movie. On the one hand, it tried to be important, especially during the classroom analogy, but it also stuck so closely to the facts that simply by reading the reviews, I knew how it was all going to play out. Even so, the movie was absorbing.

Oakspear, I posted earlier in a hurry. I agree with your assessment and your reading of the exchange. I think Harve completely missed the point. Or maybe he didn't miss it. Maybe he deliberately mis-stated J.P.'s position (which is very likely) in order to launch his character assassination. I think a fair reading of J.P.'s website would conclude otherwise. Harve says: 1. You claim that you and other members of the Wierwille family opposed Mrs. Wierwille's admission into an Alzheimer's unit of a nearby nursing home and would prefer that she obtain 24-hour care in a home setting. Circumstances at the Wierwille home being what they are, I have the distinct impression that J.P. believes that his mother is better off in the nursing home. What J.P. is communicating is that he would have hoped that circumstances would have allowed her to stay in her own home. But the nursing home is a better option to the care she was receiving at home. 2. You claim that The Way International has breached its ethical obligation to care for the needs of Mrs. Wierwille. Well, yes. The February correspondence makes that clear. Harve, et. al., insisted that the Wierwille family absorb the legal costs (and, possibly, the nursing costs, if an attendant were to be added to the payroll) associated with finding a way for The Way to legally care for Mrs. Wierwille in her own home, rather than absorb those costs themselves. "Have your attorneys contact our attorneys." Oh, please. 3. You claim that Mrs. Wierwille's care prior to her admission into the nursing home was substandard. Yes. And Harve agreed in his February correspondence that the many "volunteers" who were attending to Mrs. Wierwille were only adding to her confusion, yet he didn't make other arrangements for her (i.e. have the "volunteers" work an eight-hour shift so there would be fewer of them), but instead, left it up to the family to remedy the situation. 4. You claim that the Board of Directors has erroneously represented Wanda Wierwille as the spokesperson for the Wierwille family. It sure sounded that way to me after reading Wanda's letter. Oakspear: You said it best. I forgot how destructively sneaky these people can be. Thanks for the reminder, Harve.

Oakspear, Just my opinion, but I think the unnamed sister's power of attorney is irrelevant to J.P.'s complaints. The way I'm reading his letter is that it was written in anger and frustration for all the years he (and probably his siblings, too) "played by the rules" set by TWI, hoping that in return his mother would receive care and consideration from them. Instead, she got handed back to the family when she became an inconvenience.

What a great looking group of kids! And adults, too! Herbal, where are you? Have you changed that much? Oakspear, you're looking the part, out there in the Tennessee woods. I'm looking forward to hearing about the party. Looks like you're all having a great time.

Lifted Up, I'm not confused, but I am surprised that you would expect an internet acquaintance to confide in you, if she (or he) is reluctant to do so. I don't know any of the particulars in this situation (and don't care to), but based on what you're saying, you feel that someone else has an obligation toward you to tell you her own story. Why is that? Because you prefer first-person accounts? Maybe she doesn't. That's life. Rhetoric has its place. Sometimes it's entertaining, sometimes enlightening, sometimes boring, depending on the subject matter and delivery. And it can be easily challenged or ignored, as the reader sees fit. In my very humble opinion, if you have respect for the person who is the subject of this thread, then talk to her privately. And respect her decision to tell or not tell as she is comfortable.

I love the authenticity of first person accounts. It's like a snippet of life -- maybe a scene from a movie -- often told at a time when the heart is open by disappointment and love. I'm not sure if you have an axe to grind with a particular person (beginning in your third paragraph: "Now I hear from someone . . . "), but it's my observation that the second-hand accounts don't so much lack credibility (I tend to believe most of them), but they also don't act as a photograph, capturing a moment in time in a word or phrase, where I see the person in pain but also can believe that everything will be okay and that life will go on. Often that process is played out on these forums in interactions and support. The second-hand accounts don't resonate with life -- they're often told to illustrate a point or back up an opinion. They have their place, many times as ammunition, but more often (I think) as a way for the writer to distance her/himself from the point s/he is making, thereby avoiding public scrutiny. That's okay, too. So what's your story, Lifted Up? What prompted this post?

What are you going to do to top that record next year? Happy Birthday, socks.

I'm not much of a screenwriter. I tried it once. Briefly. I fumbled through a very, very lame stage play, which I didn't bother to finish, just so I would have something to show for my effort, but writing such an extended dialogue was a struggle for me. I'm amazed by some of the dialogue people can come up with, though. American Beauty comes to mind. Whoever wrote that was brilliant, technically and creatively, as far as I'm concerned. I'm sure I'd never be able to match that kind of writing. To tell you the truth, I'd rather go to a play than a movie, given the option. I think I prefer the live performance, slower pace, and not as much hype. As far as writing goes, about the only thing that keeps me motivated is when I meet with a writers' group. I recently joined up with one after writing next to nothing the past few years. It includes a memoirist, three poets, and two fiction writers. We meet once a week, criticize each other for a few hours, and go home to re-write whatever it was we submitted. Actually, rather than writing what I'd like to read, I usually try to write from ambivalence. I seem to get inspiration from uncertainty. Two hundred million dollars? I won't hold my breath. If I can get fifty dollars for a story, I consider it better than a blockbuster hit. But even that is rare. One more thing I thought of. Speaking of writing, whoever writes those radio shows for Joe Frank is impressive. Listening to his program is like walking into the engine room of the male psyche and studying the components of a fantasy, in all of its futility and absurdity. I've listened to a few of his shows, each one more entertaining than the last. [This message was edited by laleo on September 12, 2003 at 22:33.]

So, Zixar, is this thing voice activated? Actually, user-friendly or not, I think I'll get one, if only because it's another electronic gadget, which means a great gift idea. I'm surprised there's not one in the house already. Are you still doing any screenwriting? What are the production companies looking for? Thanks much, Steve. I did a google search a couple of months ago, but since I didn't know specifically what I was looking for, it came up with a few hundred thousand matches. When the first twenty didn't give me the information I wanted, I gave up the search. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction. I'll look into it.

Even under the best of circumstances, I'm not much of a television viewer. Never was, although I'll occasionally get hooked on a weekly drama -- usually the one they cancel in mid-season. I've heard of many frustrated script writers who had their work accepted for television, only to have most of their characters edited out. Maybe they don't want to pay too many actors for roles that might have "star" potential, so they limit the number of main characters. I've also heard that television production companies tend to rely on a pool of writers rather than one or two. I think what they end up with is something similar to assembly line art. It's vaguely pleasant, or vaguely humorous, or even sometimes vaguely offensive, but mostly appealing to sentiment. I've heard of the Tivo (I think) and have even thought about acquiring it. Doesn't it also "recommend" shows based on your viewing habits? I sort of like the idea of watching a few episodes at a time, if it's a show I enjoy. I'm embarrassed to say that I've yet to program a VCR, and don't even know where the power button is on the DVD player. I hope Tivo is easy to operate. Can you shout instructions to it? I've got plenty of practice with that. I do tend to like PBS, although their frequent and tedious fund drives can be too much. But, honestly, if the televisions in my house disappeared tomorrow, I'd only notice because of the increased competition for the computer. I could easily live without it. The TV, I mean. The computer stays. What I'm really interested in is that thing that gives you hundreds of radio stations for the car. I don't even know what it's called. Do you have one? Is it worth it?

I think one of the reasons I keep ending up at GreaseSpot is because there's nothing to watch on TV. Seriously. It's one long, tired cliche. I figure maybe I've just moved out of the right demographic range. The advertisers have given up on me, having squeezed me of my last dollar, so they don't even make an attempt to cater to my tastes (not that I'm so finicky, but, c'mon, I've already figured out the names of all the body parts, let's move on to something else). I think there's a direct correlation between bathroom humor and disposable income, of which I have little, so they're not interested in my likes and dislikes anymore.

johniam, My part isn't all that mysterious. I just felt like I wrote the wrong post for the wrong thread at the wrong time. It didn't quite flow with the confessional tone of the thread, and I thought it might be construed as being cold, or somehow unresponsive. Side note: I think critics of the book The Beauty Myth have made a convincing case that Wolf distorted statistics to write a sensational account of a problem that may exist in some form, but was exploited in order to further her agenda. I was responding more to that than the larger topic of the emotional connections we make to our definitions of "beauty." As I was working on editing my post, which was too long to begin with, I decided just to bag it instead, since it wasn't a pivotal post on this thread anyway. So that's why it's gone. I didn't mean to throw you off. As far as commenting on the post, maybe another time on another thread. Okay?

. . . [This message was edited by laleo on September 08, 2003 at 22:53.]

Oakspear, I enjoyed your story the first time around, and even more re-reading it. I think you speak for many of us, with your adolescent longings and doubts that first were allowed expression in The Way, then stifled. I'm glad you've found peace. You deserve all the happiness that comes your way.

If anyone knows how to get in touch with V777, please email me at laleo12@hotmail.com, or let her know I'd like to get in touch with her. Thanks.

Okay, I think I need to back up a few posts. My ambiguity is unintentional. When I first looked at your two threads I had this image of being in a group of people and there's this one guy talking about his coffee pot: "Yeah, I'm in the market for a new espresso maker, you know, I figured it was time to replace my old steam variety with one of those pump mechanisms and I was wondering about the pods and how many sexual partners you've had and whether I should go for the upscale variety or save my money and get one at WalMart. What do you think?" Classic "QamiQazi." Sort of nonchalantly inserting an emotionally complex question into an otherwise routine conversation. That's all. It was entertaining. I recognized the movie title -- Swimming Pool -- because I almost saw it, but went to another theater instead. Swimming Pool got good reviews, at least in my local paper. The reviewer wasn't sure why it was at the film festival either. Anyway, I'm out of my league with this espresso stuff, although I'm enjoying your descriptions, disorienting as they may be. Where am I? What were we talking about? [This message was edited by laleo on August 05, 2003 at 22:41.]

I didn't attend the film festival. Remember? I saw Bend it like Beckham (which is one of those "coming of age" movies, sort of playful and innocent and amusing, and goes well with Chai). At a different theater. Swimming Pool -- which is what you saw -- was one of the movies at the festival, which I only know because I read the movie listings, except they didn't tell me the movie (and/or the coffee) would be "stimulating, powerful, sensuously earthy, and aromatic." Heck, that might have changed everything. I haven't given a lot of thought to the ambivalence, paradox, and testimony of coffee equipment at movie theaters, but maybe it's worth exploring.

Now I see the connection, QQ. I passed on Swimming Pool last weekend, when it was showing at the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. I opted for Bend it Like Beckham instead, and headed straight for the Chai: just a little bit steamy, but not overwhelmingly so, both spicy and mellow, and enough warmth to be comforting, with just a hint of sweetness. That?s the combination that works for me. Anyway, glad you found your movie/coffee combination inspiring, even if you wouldn?t recommend it, though I?m sure you don?t give yourself enough credit. I don't have much to say about espresso machines. I've managed to get by with only a frother, which is great for lattes and hot chocolate. Hope you find the right machine.

Rottie, Oops. I should have put that in quotes, not that I was quoting anyone. I was trying to follow the path in the stream of consciousness that might connect coffee makers with wild sexual exploits, since the two threads appeared at once. Glad you were entertained, though. I'm a girl. Plus I'm married. Besides I haven't so much as kissed another man in more than twenty years. I don't remember if I fumbled through the process before that or not, so I didn't answer the poll. But I am curious about espresso machines as an aphrodisiac. Does it matter which brand?