templelady

LIving in the largest city in Alaska--the city where Mr Urquharts crimes were committed-- I have eagerly perused the paper to see if any mention was made of said person after the Abrams report. NADA that's a big Goose egg folks Glad the rest of the country is alerted and looking 'cause Alaska doesn't seem to be too concerned..... I guess they figure we are all regularly perusing the sex offenders registry on line-- In Alaska with it's thousands of tiny towns and villages and vast spaces that's a lot of room to hide in

Yeah has opened kind of a Pandora's box for me--but the last three days have been a catharsis and of course the love and support here at GS has been great. But I still think the No names policy is a good one-- UNless there are court documents to substantiate the allegations-- otherwise there is a lot of damage that can be inflicted--what we went thru was 95% of idle people with big mouths blabbing opinions and garbage that got taken as gospel by the uninformed. I don't want to be the cause of someone else's pain

NOw I always heard that the difference between a belle and a b---h was which side of the Mason Dixon line they were born on

I think that the most telling thing about TWI is the overall feelings of the people involved. In any given congregation of Christians (or probably most other religions for that matter) probably 70 % of the people are there because they find it, comforting, uplifting, supportive, guiding, enlightening, loving or any combination of these Others are there to recapture those feelings, Others are there to retain those feelings and a host of other reasons I doubt you could say that of TWI --how can you find spritual joy in a hymn when you must be constantly monitoring the volume of your voice?? HOw can you be comforted or uplifted when the entire atmosphere is one of regulations and opression?? HOw can you get positives when you are so worried about the pickiest minuite (hope I spelled that right) on a constant basis. That I think is my biggest complaint about TWI its obessesive fear-driven big brother mentality. I think back on the local leadership in Alaska IF you were the LC and your very housing, food, existence etc depended on the auspices of some distant potentate in Washington or elsewhere --how willing were you to rock the boat? If you were in authority and had children--how anxious were you to join CW and I in our quagmire--all it takes is one phone call. I'm not saying that what happened was right--but as I look back at the individuals and as I have gotten older I realize that abuse and fear come in many packages and sizes. WHat is important is that this forum keeps telling those still confined by TWI that there is joy, happiness, enlightenment in the world--you can survive--you can make it Even if your particular Nirvana is a good Cane pole, a bobber and a river of catfish.

I think this thread needs too get back to RAscals original intention so I am taking it there on another thread. THose who want to get back to the original topic (sorry for the derailment Rascal) can come join me.

Oh yes one other interesting side note by 1989 I had divorced hubby and left TWI So how did DFYS find out that I had been diagnosed with MS in 1987??? TWI called and told them!

Just keep the nasty martini and double up on the chocolate

Okay CW I'll shoot you and you shoot me and then our kids will be all okay If it would really make them all okay I'd go for it in a new York minute as I'm sure you would But back to naming names --I posted here for years about what I went through without naming names. The fact that there is at least one name I can name now in these past few weeks --does not change the fact that there are others I can't. It's the facts that are important--the facts don't become less factual just because you have to use initials or symbols

Better-- I think the best that I have been able to ascertain is that they are not getting appreciably any worse Or at least not any worse since LCM left But then they got a lot worse after LCM took over (condsidering what went on under VPW that's quite an undertaking in and of it self) So are they better than when LCM was in charge Are they better than the TWI of 1985 or 1975 Just how much better and in what areas?? BUt we on the outside don't really know because they hide behind their "locked" doors And just why those doors need to be "Locked" is another whole issue

Okay MJ I am going to try to say this one more time so you will understand Aggravated by 7 years of abuse, hubby, TWI, trials, Rich Urquhart etal I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in the late 80's Multiple Sclerosis is a disease It can't be cured by counseling How fast it progresses or deblitates is not predicatable THe State of Alaska, in its infinite wsidom in the 80's took the position, that A mother with a debilitating condition would be unable to adequately care for her children and so they would take them from her(one acquantance of mine lost her children because of severe back problems which made her a near invalid) I could have gone to trial =--but how do you prove to a court that Multiple Sclerosis won't leave you in a wheel chair next month, next week, next Year ??? You Can't So rather than put my children through another trial in a case I COULD NOT win I relinquished. Is that clear??? Any other questions??

I want to say thank you to all those who have offered their support and love here for my children and myself I Want to speak to those who feel differently I want to say that I know where you are coming from. I was raised in a good family, a good neighborhood, with God and values. When Social Services entered my life, my first thought was "thank God, they will get the B------- out of the house and away from me and the kids" What happened was I got the social worker with the Cocaine habit, who walked into the room and literally his first words were "your're wearing a black pantsuit which means you are a manic depresseive who beats her kids to relieve her stress" He was in charge of my case--His opinions were what mattered. I asked to see a judge and was told "we (DFYS) make the decisions the courts function is merely to rubber stamp our decisions" and I fought on --- you see I believed in the system, I believed that we had the best jurisprucdence in the world. I believed that the truth will out, I believed that Social Services was to protect the weak. I believed that if I were innocent I had nothing to fear. I believed the great American myth we have all been raised with. The reality is so different It isn't about truth it's about which side has the most resources to make their version stick It isn't about child welfare --it's about a multi million dollar industry of doctors, lawyers, foster parents, social workers, day care providers, judges, cops, investigators and state agencies that hold the banner of "child Abuse" high as they stuff their pockets. It's not about reuniting families --it's about keeping the statistics on the high end to funnel more state dollars in to the municipal coffers and more federal dollars into the state coffers It's about terrified woman, and children and men too whose only support is a caseworker who has to operate within the system. A good caseworker can do so much a bad caseworker ....... THe Urquhart & Dilley cases funneled in excess of $80 Million dollars into State coffers over the next several years, for the combating of child abuse, from federal matching funds--can you imagine how much more it would have been if one or all of us had died??? you think I am exagerating? The Mc MArtin Case, Ruby Ridge, Waco, Rodney King, and countless other examples show a system sated with its own power, self righteous in its dominion. IN the past three years in Alaska at least two children have died in foster care, the punishment for the foster parents --none to negligible. Studies have shown that if the money spent on foster care were instead funneled back to the families with case management geared toward removing the abuser, counseling and support for the rest of the family the success rate would double. But the foster care system continues to go on with calls for more foster care workers and more funds. WHY?? YOu can never know what it is like to fight this battle until you have been in the midst of it. Over the years I have encountered more that one person who feels as MJ does. On at least two occassions I recieved calls from those same people down the road when they found their own families impacted by social services--stunned, shocked and horrified as the realities of the sytem slapped them hard in the face. Be prepared all it takes is one phone call from a disgruntled neighbor, a divorce, a bruise that can't be explained, a child who complains that "mommy is mean"... that's all it takes and the octopus takes over--And you jump through hoops, and you cry, and you plead, and you beg--and it goes on because you are a statistic --the easy course to remove the abuser permanently from the home and make sure he never comes back--is costly and time consuming--much easier to continue to provide/force "services' and keep the dollars flowing

Actually the truth deosn't bother me --it's the half truths, and sanctimonious self righteousness that drive me nuts

Fully agreed-- Rich if you are out there or if your lovely wife is PLease feel free to post "your Side" I, and I am sure many others, would love to hear it

HAven't they always????

Morning everyone! Brother Speed --Thank you for putting you olife on the line for us Oldies _ God did bless us in those seven years--We got out alive-- and that was not a sure outcome I am still waiting fot those defenders of TWI to answer one of my intial questions As for MJ --this is just speculation on my part but there are so many things posted and the way the phraseology reads-- so tell me MJ Are you still in a wheelchair??

No MORE-- Allen you and MJ are either obtuse or you are functionally illiterate. Either way I am through explaining to you Seven years of my life fighting TWI and the state of Alaska literally for my children and my very lives, was/is enough. I'm not reliving any more of it here for your enlightenment you want enlightenment can reread all the posts on this issue not just from me but from others--stretching back over at least 5 years and figure it out for yourselves

I relinquished my kids to the state of Alaska after mr Urquhart and Hubby were in jail. But then the truth doesn't really help your slant on things, does it MJ?? So you post I relinquished them to an abuser---TWI taught you well

26 years 9 months and 24 days. The names sound familiar but I can't place them.

MJ Think as you will There is none so blind as he who will not see Or as deaf as he who will not hear

You know what, TWI in Alaska wasn't the only issue, You want reality MJ and all you other pious, she-could-have-done-something-about-it, naysayers, OKAY I'll give you Reality-- There's the Social worker who is making decisions about whether I'm a fit parent so strung out on cocaine that even his agency can;t cover for him and he is "reassigned" (read sent to treatment) There is social worker number two who demands sex so I can keep the kids--he gets called on it at the grand jury and pleads the fifth while social services tries to make me out as this mistress of seduction. There is his supervisor who makes me quit my job and go on welfare while Making my husband -the abuser- ex facto guardian of the kids There is the welfare case worker who French kisses me while fondling my breasts(buddy of social worker two) as a condition for my getting food stamps which I now need since I no longer have a job and heaven Forbid That hubby should have to work. Actual conversation with Police Lt. Me: If you know that he (my husband) is physically abusing me and the kids why don't you get him out of the house??? Officer: That's your responsibility There is the social worker who was sleeping with my husband in exchange for cocaine (Have I not mentioned that the kids have told me now they are adults that he was dealing and they were runners???) There's the attorney who tipped me to the fact that TWI had been under investigation for years not just by the judicial system but the treasury dept. And there was no way that they could Admit I knew nothing becuase then there culpability in not removing hubby from the home would become apparent. There was leadership "you lack meekness" Blah blah blah There is the social worker who called my attorney and Said " we know your client has Multiple sclerosis (diagnosed after "the house of cards" fell) and so won't be able to care for the kids. That was the killing blow to my retaining custody not the abuse, not the allegations, not the wolves in sheeps clothing, but my medical condition. That is when I agreed to relinquish because as my attorney pointed out everything else we coudld fight and win--but my health was incontrovertable --and the stress made the atttacks more frequent. When it was all over I went to counseling for battered wives. There were six women in my group Me -divorced a Cocktail waitress -separated and four women who were sneaking out on the sly and stil married 2 cops wives the wife of a legislator and the wife of a superior court judge. That's the Alaska of the 80's That's the reality I faced And I wasn't just me or Just Alaska You sanctimonious, self righteous, there-has-has-to-be-a-reason, soothsayers have NO CLUE what the reality is for a battered woman. Not then not now. Becuase the truth is TWI has suceeded so long in hiding the truth and hid the truth then because it is all one giant good old boy network, of powerful men alike as peas in a pod who corrupt the whole barrel. Yeah there are good cops, good social workers, good judges, but the code of silence to this day envelops them all, Some quit, some go into private practice, some commit suicide. but making waves is still the number one NO NO in the Social Service world. THAT IS REALITY

Allen, CW means to Do and Archive search and read ALL the threads about this case including ones from the old Waydale.

It is clear that no matter what I say MJ is going to blame me--because he just cannot handle the fact that TWI would stop to the level of actively supporting Child Molesters. The fact that many people over the years both from Alaska, and Ohio have posted the facts of this case, the fact htat it is a matter of public record speaks for itself. I find it interesting that MJ seems to have a lot of "inside" information about what went on in Alaska makes me wonder--Just who exactly are you MJ????

Thanks to TWI's habit of calling on you to pray, SIT, teach at the drop of a feather. I got over my fear of public speaking. I actually enjoy speaking, teaching, etc even to a groupf strangers. Of course when one buys lemonade there is a price to pay and I know I was way overcharged!!!

HAte takes energy--more energy than I have to spare on the likes of VPW , LCM, RR etal. I ask God not to hold their sins against them. I cannot forgive what TWI did as an organization with the assistance of the individuals to my children. But then, as someone pointed out, I can't forgive them for what they did to someone else. Their forgiveness must come from my children. And that is not my business even to bring up in either of my sons lives, much less my daughters. But forgiveness is predicated on the sinner's repentence asd asking for forgiveness. Did/have VPW, RR, LCM, J&C K---, S & P A-------, RU, SU, SD and so many others who knew the truth of Alaska quietly confess to their maker in the still wee hours of the morning that they had sinned and ask for HIS forgiveness?? I don't know but For THEIR sakes I hope so, and knowing GOD, I know if their repentance was true forgiveness was granted just as it granted to us all in the same circumstances. My Current Anger toward TWI is their steadfast refusal to say two little words "I'm Sorry" not just to me, not to just my children, but to the countless other me's, and children out there that they and the actions they condoned have caused a lifetime of hurt and scars. Until as an an entity I see true Repentance from TWI I will continue to post, to rant, to vent on this forum until that"evil Empire" collapses

I lost custody because when the goings on of Mr Urquhart and my husband became known --no one believed I knew nothing about it. I haven't even got started on the Physical, psycological and emotional abouse issues in my house. I'm not going into the dynamics of social workers, courts, plea bargains, etc. I haven't talked to my daughter in 7 years becuase she has been told all her life that there is no way I couldn't have known. Never mind that I was the soul bread winner and was so exhausted I could hardly see straight as well as all the rest that goes with battered wife syndrome. Did i know about the sexual abuse--H**ll no it took place out of our house when I was at work. Yeah did I make mistakes you bet I did. Take the kids and leave--I always find that so funny when people say it And where in the days in the mid 80's does one go in Alaska with three kids ?? And just when precisely was I going to do it??? When exactly was my husband not present or if he was gone which child did he take with him?? And I was to leave that child behind?? And of course leadership Was a great help--they are the ones who sent Mr U to Alaska after he molested another believers child stateside!!! What ever mistakes I made, I made but I Will not bow my head because someone with the midset Figure the pain I and countless others went through is somehow attention seeking. You want attention seeking look to LCM or your sainted VPW as I said earlier Failing to destroy goodness is not the same thing as creating goodness. TWI has never created anything good and any good that came from TWI came from people who were good to start with. Show me one Leader that started out in TWi Bad and grew good because of their influence. Show me one leader that became more loving and more Christlike the longer he was with TWI. Perhaps you need to condsider that I and the "attention seeking rabble" would have nothing to post if TWI's offences were not legion