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The Wedding From Hell


ChasUFarley
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A close friend and co-worker asked me to shoot their wedding for them. They'e in their early 50's - it's the second marriage for both of them, so not too formal of an affair. I knew they had a tight budget and so I offered to do it for free - my gift. I'm not a professional by any stretch, but figured I could get them some good shots to remember their special day.

I couldn't make this up if I wanted to...

The day before the wedding, the bride decided to make the wedding cake - and decorate it herself. She didn't have the place cards done for the tables, or all the food for the reception, which she and the groom had decided to cook and serve themselves - for 70 people! (Great if you know what you're doing - they didn't!) From what I heard, he burped all through rehearsal (class act!) and it happened an hour late. They also forgot to tell me where and when it was - so, no pics of that fiasco!

The day of the blessed event, the bride thought she should manifest her being nervous by getting mean. "This is supposed to be MY DAY! What can't everyone figure THAT out?!" was said early in the morning - I knew we were in for a tough one. She also decided that the napkins at the place settings were all wrong and re-did all the settings herself to make sure it was right this time! (Oh, boy...)

Ten minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start, she decided - with language that could have made a sailor blush, and an attitude of a pit bill, she wanted everyone at her house for photos - they were at the chapel. She was red-faced and screaming - not too becoming of a bride. Having seen a lot of these kinds of tantrums, as I have young kids, I said, "I'd be glad to go get them, but it would take me ten minutes to get to the chapel and back, and it's already 12:50PM. Is this what you really want me to do?" She backed down and I heard a collective sigh of relief from the wedding party, who were scared of her by that point.

We got to the chapel 10 mins late, as it was. It was then that the Best Man discovered he didn't know where the rings were at. Then, the Maid of Honor relized she left all of the bouquets at another house - but wasn't sure which one - so, they had no flowers. Someone went to fetch all the items.

So, the wedding started 40 mins late. (Oh, and there were NO ushers, either - seating was confusing as all get out!) Some poor dude offered to seat the mothers, so at least that was done right. The groom behaved himself - no burping - PHEW! - and they got through the ceremony pretty well, thanks to a firm-handed pastor.

Due to all the rain we had here last week, the reception had been moved from the Bride & Groom's house, to a meeting hall, just down the street from the chapel. Good choice, because it did rain yesterday. But did anyone call the guests to let them know? Nope. So, if you weren't at the ceremony, you'd have no way to join the reception later, because there was no communication. They were missing over 12 people who had RSVP'ed that they'd be there. No one thought to leave a sign at the home of the Bride and Groom to let any late comers know that the reception had moved. Oops!

The reception starts at 2PM, everyone is starving, but there's only peanuts, shrimp, and chips to eat. Those were gone in 20 mins. Since there was just one oven and about 10 things that needed to be heated - guess what? There was no food ready until after 3:30PM - several people left a little grumpy about it, saying they had other things going on that day. (The food was the worst - for a spring wedding it was just too heavy and there was no real menu - just lots of schmutz.) As my Hubby put it, the people who didn't get any food were better off in the long run.

The reception was every bad cliche you can imagine. Yes, "The Bride Cuts the Cake" song played, they tossed the flowers and the garter. (No one caught either - there was only like four single people there.) And The Chicken Dance was played - those are really bad cliches, I guess... it's just so.... typical.

So, I shot about 15 rolls of film, got some good pics. if they ever renew their vows, I'm putting my camera equipment up for sale on eBay - I'd have no part of that ever again. Hopefully everyone went home and drank enough (there was no bar - period - but some cheep beer in a cooler) to think they had a good time.

I hope my pics come out well for them - and I hope they're happy.

I'm just happy it's over.

Ever go to something like this?

Do tell....

Edited by ChasUFarley
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AHH ---the Belcher and the Screamer-

sounds like a marriage and a love ordered in heaven <_< , as poetic as Romeo and Juliet

and everything so carefully thought out too..sounds like pure wedded bliss awaits :blink:

How long are you giving them?--is there a pool?

Should be...

Seriously--- I know they are your friends and Im sure they are very nice people-but the way you described it it doesnt sound like its destined to last too long..way too much chaos and too many issues.

Good luck I hope it works for them,

but goin on your description I'll put my 5 bucks on two years.

and to answer your question--thankfully, no, Ive never been to a wedding like that, Ive been spared

Edited by mstar1
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Oh my, Chas! Thank you for reminding me of exactly why it is Sushi and I opted to forgo the big wedding. All the planning and hassel sucks the joy and purpose right out of the event.

We opted for small and simple, My sister, her boyfriend, our kids and a JP. Afterwards we went out and had a wonderful lunch at a nice restaraunt. It was absolutely perfect.

I wish the couple you described all the luck in the world. If the brides temperment for the wedding is a true picture of her personality, the groom is going to need all the luck he can get!

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Maybe this was just a fluke! Let's hope so anyway. If they didn't put any more thought into the marriage than they did the ceremony, though, it sounds like misery is around the corner.

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A wedding I saw might not be the wedding from hell, but it was sure a $pricey$ one. It was held at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens, and everybody was showing up in stretch limos, dressed to the *max* (guys in expensive tuxedos, and ladies in long dresses).

But what made it stand out to me was for the music. Instead of an organ or piano, there was a full blown orchestra, complete with enough of the full compliment of musical instruments to do a classical production at a concert hall. :o

I hate to see the price tag on THAT one. (((shudders))) :ph34r:

I hope the couple are still together. I imagine that whoever sprung for this would *make* them stay together. ... Talk about your 'shotgun weddings'. :blink:

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A wedding I saw might not be the wedding from hell, but it was sure a $pricey$ one. It was held at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens, and everybody was showing up in stretch limos, dressed to the *max* (guys in expensive tuxedos, and ladies in long dresses).

But what made it stand out to me was for the music. Instead of an organ or piano, there was a full blown orchestra, complete with enough of the full compliment of musical instruments to do a classical production at a concert hall. :o

I hate to see the price tag on THAT one. (((shudders))) :ph34r:

I hope the couple are still together. I imagine that whoever sprung for this would *make* them stay together. ... Talk about your 'shotgun weddings'. :blink:

I don't get that aspect of things either.

When I was in the South, it seemed like weddings were held more in competition of who could out-spend whom. They would take years to plan, cost into the hundred-of-thousands of dollars (I must have know the lower class rich southerners), and for what? A 50-50 chance at a successful marriage? I'd rather elope and have the money for a nice house, porsche, and whatever else... why spend it on all that fluff?

When Hubby first proposed to me, I wanted to just elope and throw a party afterwards. (That was also before the Marriage Penalty Tax had been lifted - I knew we'd get b-i-t-k-h-e-d slapped at tax time.) He didn't want that, as it was his first marriage - he wanted his mom to be there, etc. . I knew the headache that could come with planning an event, so we rented out the restaurant of a very nice resort local resort and invited 30 of our closest friends and relatives. The wedding was outside, on a golf course. The reception included a full banquet with a choice of three different entrees. We had the perfect August day for it - breezy, cool, and sunny. It was just a nice day - no snafus.

A very good friend had said, "Put your money into your photos and your food, because that's what people will remember," and she was right! Along with our outfits, rings, flowers, etc. - the whole thing came to less than $2K. We paid the whole bill that day. DONE.

Then, we put our money into getting the house and having babies - and we've been broke ever since! LOL!

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I helped with so many weddings in TWI that by the time it came to mine, I was quite sick of them!

So often, today's brides seem like spoiled children with over-indulgent parents. Either that, or the parents seem to be trying to simply show off their ability to spend outrageously. I've also never quite been a fan of conformity for its own sake.

My aunt said to me, "This is YOUR day. You can have WHATEVER YOU WANT." Inwardly, I cringed. It sounded as though she was speaking to a three-year-old. That conversation really cemented the Justice-of-the-Peace thing for me.

I was extremely happy to go with Mr.niKa and his children, and both our parents, as well as three or four other family members, to the Justice of the Peace. We all pretty much eloped together.

It was a blessing.

More than ten years, and two more children later, I have never experienced even one moment of regret that we didn't have a big wedding. I do still enjoy the sense of relief that we chose a tiny, very private one.

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  • 1 year later...
Gawd...

It was a year ago yesterday when I posted this thread....

I think I'll give up going to weddings for Lent...

I would have put money on "6 months". So, Chas, are the "happy" :love3: couple still together?

Though I didn't have wedding experience like you described, I DID experience the MARRIAGE from hell!

But I suspect I'm not alone in that regard.

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"A close friend and co-worker asked me to shoot their wedding for them"

This is such a great idea! Rather than all the give and take, the eventual recriminations and broken dreams, and the inevitable divorce, you just put them all out of their misery right at the start! How much more convenient is that? (!)

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"A close friend and co-worker asked me to shoot their wedding for them"

This is such a great idea! Rather than all the give and take, the eventual recriminations and broken dreams, and the inevitable divorce, you just put them all out of their misery right at the start! How much more convenient is that? (!)

ROTFLMAO!

The truth to it all is that I would have been putting them out of MY misery...

The happy couple is selling their house - he's still not working - and they're moving to FL or MI, whenever they decide. I learned that she never paid for the use of the church for the wedding service or the hall that she rented for the reception - wow... talk about NO SCRUPLES... unbelievable.... that's one friendship I don't miss!

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