Ladies and Gentlemen...My heart goes out to you. I was never married while in TWI. With all that you have said here, I am really glad that I wasn't. I managed to get myself into enough pickles because of my "attitude" I cannot imagine how fast they would have started the fire under the vat of boiling oil if they had actually expected me to "submit" to anyone! Ha! I can see that happening in my lifetime...NOT!
God Bless all your beautiful hearts for putting up with such cr@p.
Oh you are sooo lucky Eyes. My ex-husband tried to use his authority when he wanted to force me to do something. In other words, he used it for his convenience. I usually got POd and left with big FUs. It was a nightmare which lasted for 6 long miserable years, knowing he was abusing drugs for the last 3. My BCs loved him and thought he was wonderful. We tried marriage counseling, but the BC told us he didn't want to hear the problems. He told us to read "Heirs Together in the Grace of Life" in Volume 5 of the collaterals. Yeah, the was really healing and delivering for our marriage. What a copout. Even if I had been able to tell that jackass BC that myhusband was abusing drugs, it wouldn't have helped because you know TWI has a very jaded idea on how to "help" people from drugs. My ex ended up leaving TWI before me. He was paranoid they would find out his dirt. I used TWI to divorce his azz. When I told him I was leaving him, he still tried to use wayspeak on me by saying, "You're off the Word; you're supposed to stand with me not men."
My 2nd marriage outside TWI has been a dream come true for me. I have a completely opposite marriage this time. There are no secrets, and we are equals and in LOVE!!
You my dear are the lucky one despite the trials by fire that you have endured. To find someone that you can honestly share your life with is for many a dream come true. It is what I believe to be the "full circle" of God's love.
Someday my dear sister we will have to share a cup of coffee together. We live fairly close to each other. Hmmm...food for thought.
My 2nd marriage outside TWI has been a dream come true for me. I have a completely opposite marriage this time. There are no secrets, and we are equals and in LOVE!!
I think that "no secrets" part is a real big key, Notta... We all had secrets in twi, and they were used against us when we did tell them - i.e. the "From Birth to the WC" crap they had people write, only to have those heart sharings turned around on them and used to hurt them at a later time when it was convenient for the leadership.
The same even happened in some marriages where either secrets were hidden from spouses because of that fear of the secret being revealed to someone in a position of authority in an interrogation (oh, did I say that? I meant "counselling") session. Or worse, being afraid if you let your weakness show your spouse would desert you as being "spiritually contaminated."
Before we got married, my husband and I both sat down and had a very long discussion about what came first - twi, or each other. This was sparked by the man who was counselling us when he said that he knew that his wife would leave him if he ever left the ministry. (this man is a good man, by the way - one of few who have been ordained by twi.) How sad is that! That this man who had devoted his life to this ministry and placed everything else on hold for it knew that his wife would leave him if he ever left twi.
After that session, my husband and I sat down and had a long talk about priorities. We decided our committment was to our marriage which was our vow before God. Not to any organization.
Anyway, glad to hear your marriage is good, Notta!
You and your husband were very wise to have this discussion. Not many couples as straight-forward as that. Of course, TWI's response would be that they are not an "organization". They have to be your top priority, because they ARE God.
It is pretty terrible to think that we were taught to put twi before our families and loved ones. If God is a good God, He wouldn't want that... especially if he's a parent.
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Nottawayfer
Oh you are sooo lucky Eyes. My ex-husband tried to use his authority when he wanted to force me to do something. In other words, he used it for his convenience. I usually got POd and left with big FUs. It was a nightmare which lasted for 6 long miserable years, knowing he was abusing drugs for the last 3. My BCs loved him and thought he was wonderful. We tried marriage counseling, but the BC told us he didn't want to hear the problems. He told us to read "Heirs Together in the Grace of Life" in Volume 5 of the collaterals. Yeah, the was really healing and delivering for our marriage. What a copout. Even if I had been able to tell that jackass BC that myhusband was abusing drugs, it wouldn't have helped because you know TWI has a very jaded idea on how to "help" people from drugs. My ex ended up leaving TWI before me. He was paranoid they would find out his dirt. I used TWI to divorce his azz. When I told him I was leaving him, he still tried to use wayspeak on me by saying, "You're off the Word; you're supposed to stand with me not men."
My 2nd marriage outside TWI has been a dream come true for me. I have a completely opposite marriage this time. There are no secrets, and we are equals and in LOVE!!
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Eyesopen
You my dear are the lucky one despite the trials by fire that you have endured. To find someone that you can honestly share your life with is for many a dream come true. It is what I believe to be the "full circle" of God's love.
Someday my dear sister we will have to share a cup of coffee together. We live fairly close to each other. Hmmm...food for thought.
love ya!
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Nottawayfer
That would be fun! I've only met up with one greasespotter since being out of TWI for 4 1/2 years.
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JavaJane
I think that "no secrets" part is a real big key, Notta... We all had secrets in twi, and they were used against us when we did tell them - i.e. the "From Birth to the WC" crap they had people write, only to have those heart sharings turned around on them and used to hurt them at a later time when it was convenient for the leadership.
The same even happened in some marriages where either secrets were hidden from spouses because of that fear of the secret being revealed to someone in a position of authority in an interrogation (oh, did I say that? I meant "counselling") session. Or worse, being afraid if you let your weakness show your spouse would desert you as being "spiritually contaminated."
Before we got married, my husband and I both sat down and had a very long discussion about what came first - twi, or each other. This was sparked by the man who was counselling us when he said that he knew that his wife would leave him if he ever left the ministry. (this man is a good man, by the way - one of few who have been ordained by twi.) How sad is that! That this man who had devoted his life to this ministry and placed everything else on hold for it knew that his wife would leave him if he ever left twi.
After that session, my husband and I sat down and had a long talk about priorities. We decided our committment was to our marriage which was our vow before God. Not to any organization.
Anyway, glad to hear your marriage is good, Notta!
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Shifra
Java Jane,
You and your husband were very wise to have this discussion. Not many couples as straight-forward as that. Of course, TWI's response would be that they are not an "organization". They have to be your top priority, because they ARE God.
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Bolshevik
I just wanted to post:
Screw you twi
Screw you twi
Screw you twi
THREE times, see, now they are completely screwed.
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JavaJane
Thank you, Shifra...
It is pretty terrible to think that we were taught to put twi before our families and loved ones. If God is a good God, He wouldn't want that... especially if he's a parent.
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