God Bless That Chick and Her Chimp in Austria

[doojable]

Should Chimps Be Given Human Rights?

Beyond the legal challenges, anthropologists say chimpanzees are not humans, though without a clear definition of what it means to be human, backing that claim up is a challenge perhaps fit for some great courtroom drama.

Animal rights activist and teacher Paula Stibbe, along with the Vienna-based Association Against Animal Factories (AAAF), says she wants the chimpanzee, named Matthew Hiasl Pan, declared a person.

That way, Stibbe says she can become the primate's legal guardian if the bankrupt animal sanctuary where Matthew lives closes. (Under Austrian law, only humans are entitled to have guardians.)

Austria wouldn't allow it (BOOOO HISSSS!) So she's appealing to the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg, France.

Now, just think of the possibilities. If Chimps get Human Rights, they will need to marry. (They'll need equality under the law. And suppose they fall in love with a human.)

What about Fido? He's gonna need rights. And Fluffy the cat can't be left out.

Suppose Fido and his owner fall in love and want to marry? Ohhhhhh... dogs and humans...

Perhaps Tricky Vic was a prophet after all.

Edited May 30, 2008 by doojable

[jen-o]

boooo hissss??

doojable,

what's with the boo hiss?

are you saying that you think austria should have allowed it?

and declared the chimp a person?

thereby opening the door for chimps to have "human rights"?

peace,

jen-o

p.s. thanks for posting this interesting info...

Edited May 30, 2008 by jen-o

[RumRunner]

you uhhhh never heard of humor? Or you just baiting?

[Ham]

What about Fido? He's gonna need rights. And Fluffy the cat can't be left out.

Now you're talking! I suppose the newly enacted laws would allow one to then take out say, a couple hundred thousand or so of life insurance on their "mate". Then there are social security issues...

[RumRunner]

Now you're talking! I suppose the newly enacted laws would allow one to then take out say, a couple hundred thousand or so of life insurance on their "mate". Then there are social security issues...

Excellent Ham! Take out the policy - you go to collect - adjuster asks to see proof of death - you point to the crock pot - collect $200K

[Ham]

"Central Dispatch. "

"I want to report domestic abuse"

"Are you with the abuser at the moment"

"no, I'm outside, and he's locked insde, and tearing the apartment apart.."

"Please give us a name and description. Is he armed?"

"He goes by Max, he's about seven years old, average build, brown fur.. and the sharpest set of teeth you've ever seen.."

[Ham]

Next installment, doggie gets his day in court..

[doojable]

Excellent Ham! Take out the policy - you go to collect - adjuster asks to see proof of death - you point to the crock pot - collect $200K

Alas, poor Fluffy, We cooked, er... spent er... knew (YEA! Yea! That's the ticket - KNEW!) her well.

"Central Dispatch. "

"I want to report domestic abuse"

"Are you with the abuser at the moment"

"no, I'm outside, and he's locked insde, and tearing the apartment apart.."

"Please give us a name and description. Is he armed?"

"He goes by Max, he's about seven years old, average build, brown fur.. and the sharpest set of teeth you've ever seen.."

What?! You sold all your bricks?

[doojable]

Interesting note. ONLY 33 states have a ban against having sex with animals.

Hung up on a Horse in Washington

So does the animal get the right to power of attorney for his or her loved one should the human pass first?

[Ham]

Dooj, it isn't all that bad. Genetically speaking, "things" don't exactly "match".. they'll just take themselves out of the gene pool, where they properly belong..

just pray the courts won't let them adopt..

So does the animal get the right to power of attorney for his or her loved one should the human pass first?

or worse, is the "spouse" given power of attourney if the human goes into a coma, and lays on life support?

"Mahm, being you are the closest relative, would you like us to pull the plug?"

"woooof."

"I'll take that as a yes.."

[RumRunner]

Dooj - that newspaper article was ummmm ummmm

Kinda makes you wonder what was going on with those chickens and rabbits at Rome City - and the goats at the corn field

Little boy trustee come blow your horn,

The sheep's in the meadow,

The cow's in the corn

Edited May 30, 2008 by RumRunner

[doojable]

I think I read somewhere that they liked to choke chickens at Rome City...

[rhino]

I always get the goats to put a hoof print on a pre nup type agreement ... to be sure they don't try to claim some common law marriage ...

of course for some groups, putting humans on equal footing would be an advancement for the humans ...

what is age of consent for a goat?

come on ham ... your tail is standing up now, isn't it?

the one top left has sexy eyes ...

is there anywhere for this thread to go but downhill?

Confining animals is wrong ... have we learned nothing since Jim Crow days?

racism, sexism, TWI was wrong on so many things, why do you think they were right on this?

... the bigoted Christians that want to stop me from marrying my goat ... what are we still living in the 50's?

[doojable]

Okay Rhino I just found this photo of your girlfriend:

I hear she plans on suing you for palimony.

(But doesn't she clean up good! ;))

[rhino]

Baaaaaaaaaad doojie ...

First, I like my goat barehooved and pregnant

A goat's place is in her pen ...

But that sheep has been hangin' with you and is liberated ... but will still want me to keep her in heels ... while getting her lawyer to claim she has been repeatedly fleeced ...

besides, that sheep is old news ... I have mutton to do with her ...

[doojable]

Baaaaaaaaaad doojie ...

First, I like my goat barehooved and pregnant

A goat's place is in her pen ...

But that sheep has been hangin' with you and is liberated ... but will still want me to keep her in heels ... while getting her lawyer to claim she has been repeatedly fleeced ...

besides, that sheep is old news ... I have mutton to do with her ...

Hey! You're sitting over there on the side with your horn straight up in the air and I'm baaad?

That goat wants a DNA sample - seems there's a paternity issue about to go to court. She thinks you're about to go on the lamb.

And she hasn't been hanging with me at all. She's been hanging with the hens down at Hooters.

The irony of it all... Washington will let a man have sex with animals (no rough stuff tho) but refuses to let gays marry.

...

[rhino]

The irony of it all... Washington will let a man have sex with animals (no rough stuff tho) but refuses to let gays marry.

Ruff Ruff stuff is OK with fido ...

Well I don't want to spend $30,000 a year to keep some guy in jail for loving his pet. What you do in your own barnyard is up to you. As for passing out benefits to gay couples or married couples ... that is a whole 'nuther animal.

Of course the gov' does get involved if a spouse is doing something "wrong" in someone else's bedroom. If you put the horn in the wrong cornucopia, you lose everything ... then you can put your tail between your legs but you can't go home, you lost it in the divorce.

[coolchef]

if you give chimps human rights does that mean the gay ones can get married?

[GeorgeStGeorge]

if you give chimps human rights does that mean the gay ones can get married?

And what if the chimp wants to marry a panda?

Reminds me of an old joke.

A preacher is railing on his congregation for, shall we say, injudicious choices.

"I can't believe the abominations among you! Members of my congregation fornicating with sheep, cows, dogs, chickens..."

[voice from the back] "Chickens?"

George

[jen-o]

you uhhhh never heard of humor? Or you just baiting?

rumrunner, you talking to me?

if so, whatcha talkin about?

truth is stranger than fiction...

and real life is so strange that it's humorous...

yeah, i get that...

but i'll bet activist paula stibbe doesn't think it's so humorous...

peace,

jen-o

[RumRunner]

Jen-O - what are you talking about? Seems you are talking about me and I was no - not talking to you.

rumrunner, you talking to me?

if so, whatcha talkin about?

truth is stranger than fiction...

and real life is so strange that it's humorous...

yeah, i get that...

but i'll bet activist paula stibbe doesn't think it's so humorous...

peace,

jen-o

[jen-o]

rumrunner,

i'm not talking about you...

i'm talking to you...

so anyways, how are ya? :)

there were only 2 posts before your post about "humor"...

and one of them was mine...

i didn't think you were talking to doojable, so i assumed you were talking to me...

sorry for the confusion...

i was just asking you to clarify what you meant IF you were talking to me...

which i guess you weren't...

anyway, nice to meet you... :)

peace,

jen-o

p.s. now what were we talking about... LOL

Edited May 31, 2008 by jen-o

[bowtwi]

Well, I learned a new term today - "Pasture Breeding". Unbeknownst to me, there has been an issue of school buses full of children driving past farms to or from school being exposed to the evils of animals having s-e-x right out there in front of God and everybody - even during daylight hours!!!

So there've been laws enacted to forbid anyone from allowing animal s-e-x during DAYLIGHT HOURS. I'm not kidding.

I googled this subject and found this discussion. I'm blown away.

http://forum.horse.com/tm.asp?m=29084

[jen-o]

So there've been laws enacted to forbid anyone from allowing animal s-e-x during DAYLIGHT HOURS.

gee, how are you suppose to stop it...

unless you keep males and females segregated from sun up to sun down...

i suppose that is theoretically possible for domestic animals...

but what about wild animals?

[doojable]

No afternoon delight for animals?!!! :o Why that's inhumane!

They need a slogan. <_<

"I don't need no master to have sex in the pasture."

"I was born to do it amongst the corn."

Edited May 31, 2008 by doojable