I should also have said, I have a number of X-TWI friends....and I feel very connected with them, they are my closest friends. I feel like I "fit" with them. But that's not true with people who I interact with in everyday world. Just wanted to add that.
What scares me is, would I feel "at home" in a fellowship that operated the way it should of to begin with, and with correct teaching.
...snip...
I'm not sure what you mean by this. I also have been out of TWI for 27. I haven't found anything that has been as much fun as a good twig used to be, but I still fellowship with a wide variety of people who are good, practicing Christians.
Are you scared that you WOULD feel "at home" in a properly functioning fellowship with correct teaching, or that you WOULD NOT feel "at home" in a properly functioning fellowship with correct teaching?
Well, my x-way friends have definitely changed their beliefs....sometimes I differ from them, but I guess the basics we all believe.
Steve.....scary because I would feel at home and I totally agree.....there's no fun like I used to have in a good twig.
There are a lot of good Christians in a lot of good churches out there, but it's like the parable of the wheat and the tares (weeds). There are good people and there are fakes in every faith community. There are also both truth and error in every faith community's doctrine. Just do your best to listen to God and do what He would want you to do. Don't trust anybody else more than you trust Him. Life is not perfect anywhere in what Paul calls "this present evil age" but just know that God loves you, and always has. I would wave a magic wand and make everything alright, but there ain't a magic wand, and we have to wait til Jesus comes back for the restoration of all things. Look forward to that, and don't get too hung up on ANYTHING else!
In for 20+ years. Out for 19. Still trying to reconcile twi mindset with life in the real world and with regular non-ex-cult folks. The people who have helped me most of all to keep in touch with living and growing closer to people and to the Lord have been usual church people.
i didn't feel at home with my original church or life - thus i joined or got suckered sucked into the way
i don't miss fellowships at all. i do miss wonderful people i met in those fellowships. i also miss wonderful people i met in high school and college who never had a thing to do with the way. when i love someone and have a relationship, i miss them. t hat's it
my life before the way was always about crying out in the depth of my soul to god and/or jesus christ (i kinda thought they were the same at the time)
my life now is pretty much that -- crying out praying to my father god and my savior jesus christ. and i feel totally comfortable they are there
too bad i had to go through so much abuse to come full circle
like i said these are random but honest thoughts
i have one or two really close friends. we were friends before the way, thru the way, and after the way
of course i have friends i lost along the way, and friends i lost since coming on this site
my new life....
i have this GREAT job -- i don't make any money -- but the people are so great -- i think because they are YOUNG -- my best coworkers 20, 21, 25, 28, 31. they are the coolest most loving. one or two of them call me "mommy"
but let me tell you these coworker friends are awesome. i tell them about cults whatev and all they want to do is learn and discuss never judge
i absolutely believe god gave them and this job to me because i was suffering very much and needed this kind of love and refreshment
xoxoxoxoxox
ps. i don't mean i don't make any money. i just make crap money lol
Thank-you everyone for your responses.....I appreciate you sharing your experience with me. I remember coming here when I first left TWI and it was the sharing by everyone that enabled me to relate and to feel like "I wasn't the only one". So thank-you for being transparent.
Ex....I can relate to you crying out to God before TWI and Crying out to God after TWI......I am right there with you! Seems like I was at a low before signing that green card......and at a low when I left. I am not sure which was my worst low. I am so glad to hear that you have a job that is aiding in your healing. And I think it's GREAT that a couple of them call you "Mommy"......how cool is that. That's God giving you exactly what you need....
I appreciate your random thoughts, please send some more my way Ex......It's a help to me.
Kit....like I stated....nice to know I an relate to other people with feelings etc.......I'm glad that you have found some folks that are sent from God to walk with you through this process.....and that is what I have found it to be.....a process.
I don't go to a church.....I've tried them....in fact MANY of them and decided like 6 yrs. ago....going to church was not a solution for me at that time. I say at that time, cause I don't know what the future holds.
It's amazing to me, that it takes soooo long to transition out of TWI mindset, feelings etc.....who would of thought? But, I must say, I bought everything I was taught, even if I didn't understand it....I was a sold out to TWI....and I totally believed it was of God, and that I would be a "Lifer". Never had a thought that I would leave.....however, towards the end it was so nuts, that I started thinking, I need to get out. Physically, I did get out, but mentally, spiritually, emotionally, I was still in....and through the years, I've gotten better, but I just have not made that transition with the everyday world and feel like I "fit In".
I appreciate anyone who can share their experience with this.......thank-you!
Newlife, I so identify with what you say in your first post. You don't want to be in TWI, you recognise the (let's be kind) problems, but you don't feel you "fit" elsewhere.
I have been blessed to have found an awesome church and the teachings from the minister who was there when I first went were so healing. I would sit there with tears pouring from my eyes. His words were healing, soothing and I felt welcomed back and hugged and tucked in under a big snuggly blanket by my Father. This (silent) weeping lasted 4 or 5 months. I needed to be there then.
That minister has now moved on. I still go to the same church, or rather, to an offshoot (church plant). I don't find the same satisfying teaching and frequently find myself at odds with what is said and of course they are all very Trinitarian. I find myself unpicking the theology at times, rather than listening to the essence of the message.
What I do do is enjoy fellowship and real friendship with the people there. There are some awesome giving people, mature Christians, who are always doing something within the community to help others. They are genuinely caring, genuinely giving of time and resources, and I don't detect any hypocrisy between words and actions. I enjoy them as my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, as fellow-workers, as joint heirs. It's fun.
What I don't do is get involved in any theological discussions. I am thought to be a bit strange and to have some odd ideas. People don't understand "where I'm coming from." But nonetheless everyone is kind and despite the occasional raised eyebrows, no-one gets in my face, beats on me, or threatens to throw me out. I serve in several roles within my local church community and also in the wider city-wide church community. Generally I keep my views to myself, agree on basic Godly principles, and enjoy my own growing relationship with God. I like looking to see how He is working in the lives of other committed people too. Especially where their views differ from mine (and sometimes from each other's).
I also know some ex-Wayfers. Initially these were good - at least in the TWI sense - but now there seems to be little in common except that we understand each other when certain phrases (jargon) are used. Some of those people I can't stand being near at all. But some have thought things through, learned from other escapees, and developed their own relationships with God. You can see the difference.
Newlife, it's your relationship with God that matters. You can develop that if you find some mature Christians to learn from - Christians from diverse backgrounds and church theologies. It's helpful to have someone to talk things over with. They (and you) don't have to go to a church. That's only a starting point for you.
Thanks Twinky for your post. I see you have indeed had some experiences that I can relate to. You've kept at it.....whereas, I gave up on the church scene. So I am glad that you are receiving some positive gifts in what you are doing.
And I think you are right, it's my relationship with God which is the most important and I think I've known for years......but, I think what has happened to me is leaving TWI, I at first lost hope of ever really understanding what the bible REALLY says, but I kept seeking God and answers. I'm glad I did. And many beliefs have changed, though I can't say that I am totally pleased with my relationship with God....it doesn't seem to "work" the way I had experienced when I was in TWI....I was confident, and knew God communicated with me......now maybe that wasn't God, I don't know....but I know it's certainly changed. And I do think that it's your relationship with God which makes the difference of being fulfilled and happy or not.
Grrrrrrr...........If I had never signed the Green card!!! But, I should say also, that even if I hadn't been in TWI there would have been obstacles in my life......just not as many with God. And you know.....If my relationship with God was solid, then maybe I would know where I fit.....
Newlife, sometimes I think we try too hard on our relationship with God, instead of just "being." Just enjoy His creation and give thanks as often as you can. See beauty where you can, see need where you can (and do something about it if possible), just relax, be thankful, and "be." He will find you, in your quiet times of contemplation.
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newlife
I should also have said, I have a number of X-TWI friends....and I feel very connected with them, they are my closest friends. I feel like I "fit" with them. But that's not true with people who I interact with in everyday world. Just wanted to add that.
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waysider
How do your ex-TWI friends feel about some of the revelations that have come to light over the past several years?
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Steve Lortz
I'm not sure what you mean by this. I also have been out of TWI for 27. I haven't found anything that has been as much fun as a good twig used to be, but I still fellowship with a wide variety of people who are good, practicing Christians.
Are you scared that you WOULD feel "at home" in a properly functioning fellowship with correct teaching, or that you WOULD NOT feel "at home" in a properly functioning fellowship with correct teaching?
Love,
Steve
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newlife
Well, my x-way friends have definitely changed their beliefs....sometimes I differ from them, but I guess the basics we all believe.
Steve.....scary because I would feel at home and I totally agree.....there's no fun like I used to have in a good twig.
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Steve Lortz
There are a lot of good Christians in a lot of good churches out there, but it's like the parable of the wheat and the tares (weeds). There are good people and there are fakes in every faith community. There are also both truth and error in every faith community's doctrine. Just do your best to listen to God and do what He would want you to do. Don't trust anybody else more than you trust Him. Life is not perfect anywhere in what Paul calls "this present evil age" but just know that God loves you, and always has. I would wave a magic wand and make everything alright, but there ain't a magic wand, and we have to wait til Jesus comes back for the restoration of all things. Look forward to that, and don't get too hung up on ANYTHING else!
Love,
Steve
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Kit Sober
In for 20+ years. Out for 19. Still trying to reconcile twi mindset with life in the real world and with regular non-ex-cult folks. The people who have helped me most of all to keep in touch with living and growing closer to people and to the Lord have been usual church people.
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excathedra
sweet newlife
random thoughts and probably more later.....
i didn't feel at home with my original church or life - thus i joined or got suckered sucked into the way
i don't miss fellowships at all. i do miss wonderful people i met in those fellowships. i also miss wonderful people i met in high school and college who never had a thing to do with the way. when i love someone and have a relationship, i miss them. t hat's it
my life before the way was always about crying out in the depth of my soul to god and/or jesus christ (i kinda thought they were the same at the time)
my life now is pretty much that -- crying out praying to my father god and my savior jesus christ. and i feel totally comfortable they are there
too bad i had to go through so much abuse to come full circle
like i said these are random but honest thoughts
i have one or two really close friends. we were friends before the way, thru the way, and after the way
of course i have friends i lost along the way, and friends i lost since coming on this site
my new life....
i have this GREAT job -- i don't make any money -- but the people are so great -- i think because they are YOUNG -- my best coworkers 20, 21, 25, 28, 31. they are the coolest most loving. one or two of them call me "mommy"
but let me tell you these coworker friends are awesome. i tell them about cults whatev and all they want to do is learn and discuss never judge
i absolutely believe god gave them and this job to me because i was suffering very much and needed this kind of love and refreshment
xoxoxoxoxox
ps. i don't mean i don't make any money. i just make crap money lol
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newlife
Thank-you everyone for your responses.....I appreciate you sharing your experience with me. I remember coming here when I first left TWI and it was the sharing by everyone that enabled me to relate and to feel like "I wasn't the only one". So thank-you for being transparent.
Ex....I can relate to you crying out to God before TWI and Crying out to God after TWI......I am right there with you! Seems like I was at a low before signing that green card......and at a low when I left. I am not sure which was my worst low. I am so glad to hear that you have a job that is aiding in your healing. And I think it's GREAT that a couple of them call you "Mommy"......how cool is that. That's God giving you exactly what you need....
I appreciate your random thoughts, please send some more my way Ex......It's a help to me.
Kit....like I stated....nice to know I an relate to other people with feelings etc.......I'm glad that you have found some folks that are sent from God to walk with you through this process.....and that is what I have found it to be.....a process.
I don't go to a church.....I've tried them....in fact MANY of them and decided like 6 yrs. ago....going to church was not a solution for me at that time. I say at that time, cause I don't know what the future holds.
It's amazing to me, that it takes soooo long to transition out of TWI mindset, feelings etc.....who would of thought? But, I must say, I bought everything I was taught, even if I didn't understand it....I was a sold out to TWI....and I totally believed it was of God, and that I would be a "Lifer". Never had a thought that I would leave.....however, towards the end it was so nuts, that I started thinking, I need to get out. Physically, I did get out, but mentally, spiritually, emotionally, I was still in....and through the years, I've gotten better, but I just have not made that transition with the everyday world and feel like I "fit In".
I appreciate anyone who can share their experience with this.......thank-you!
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Twinky
Newlife, I so identify with what you say in your first post. You don't want to be in TWI, you recognise the (let's be kind) problems, but you don't feel you "fit" elsewhere.
I have been blessed to have found an awesome church and the teachings from the minister who was there when I first went were so healing. I would sit there with tears pouring from my eyes. His words were healing, soothing and I felt welcomed back and hugged and tucked in under a big snuggly blanket by my Father. This (silent) weeping lasted 4 or 5 months. I needed to be there then.
That minister has now moved on. I still go to the same church, or rather, to an offshoot (church plant). I don't find the same satisfying teaching and frequently find myself at odds with what is said and of course they are all very Trinitarian. I find myself unpicking the theology at times, rather than listening to the essence of the message.
What I do do is enjoy fellowship and real friendship with the people there. There are some awesome giving people, mature Christians, who are always doing something within the community to help others. They are genuinely caring, genuinely giving of time and resources, and I don't detect any hypocrisy between words and actions. I enjoy them as my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, as fellow-workers, as joint heirs. It's fun.
What I don't do is get involved in any theological discussions. I am thought to be a bit strange and to have some odd ideas. People don't understand "where I'm coming from." But nonetheless everyone is kind and despite the occasional raised eyebrows, no-one gets in my face, beats on me, or threatens to throw me out. I serve in several roles within my local church community and also in the wider city-wide church community. Generally I keep my views to myself, agree on basic Godly principles, and enjoy my own growing relationship with God. I like looking to see how He is working in the lives of other committed people too. Especially where their views differ from mine (and sometimes from each other's).
I also know some ex-Wayfers. Initially these were good - at least in the TWI sense - but now there seems to be little in common except that we understand each other when certain phrases (jargon) are used. Some of those people I can't stand being near at all. But some have thought things through, learned from other escapees, and developed their own relationships with God. You can see the difference.
Newlife, it's your relationship with God that matters. You can develop that if you find some mature Christians to learn from - Christians from diverse backgrounds and church theologies. It's helpful to have someone to talk things over with. They (and you) don't have to go to a church. That's only a starting point for you.
:knuddel:/> Twinx
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newlife
Thanks Twinky for your post. I see you have indeed had some experiences that I can relate to. You've kept at it.....whereas, I gave up on the church scene. So I am glad that you are receiving some positive gifts in what you are doing.
And I think you are right, it's my relationship with God which is the most important and I think I've known for years......but, I think what has happened to me is leaving TWI, I at first lost hope of ever really understanding what the bible REALLY says, but I kept seeking God and answers. I'm glad I did. And many beliefs have changed, though I can't say that I am totally pleased with my relationship with God....it doesn't seem to "work" the way I had experienced when I was in TWI....I was confident, and knew God communicated with me......now maybe that wasn't God, I don't know....but I know it's certainly changed. And I do think that it's your relationship with God which makes the difference of being fulfilled and happy or not.
Grrrrrrr...........If I had never signed the Green card!!! But, I should say also, that even if I hadn't been in TWI there would have been obstacles in my life......just not as many with God. And you know.....If my relationship with God was solid, then maybe I would know where I fit.....
I don't know, sometimes I ramble a lot!!!
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excathedra
i have zero desire to be with mature christians or a church
if that ever changes, i will let you know
i went to a little podunk church a while back ONCE and it was really nice, but i didn't go back
there isn't a day goes by where i don't talk to god / christ
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Twinky
Newlife, sometimes I think we try too hard on our relationship with God, instead of just "being." Just enjoy His creation and give thanks as often as you can. See beauty where you can, see need where you can (and do something about it if possible), just relax, be thankful, and "be." He will find you, in your quiet times of contemplation.
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newlife
I want to thank everyone who posted......I appreciate you sharing your experiences, feelings, and suggestions. It helped.
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Thomas Loy Bumgarner
change? we don't do change in behavior or activities, but money, yeah
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