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This morning I was reading about Paul’s conversion in Acts 9 in NLT Chronological Life Application Study Bible and one of the study notes got me to reflect on a few watershed moments in my life. About Paul’s conversion the study note said sometimes God breaks into a life in a spectacular manner, and sometimes conversion is a quiet experience – the right way to come to faith in Jesus is whatever way God brings you. If I could take philosophical license (is there really such a thing? ) with that study note – there is something about Paul’s conversion that has always resonated with me. In Catholic grammar school I was asked to read something from the Holy Bible that I thought was important to know. I chose Acts 9 because, I said, it showed that Jesus will make sure you know what’s important…Well…so much for a fifth grader’s “keys to walking by the spirit”. But as naive as that sounds, I have always been fascinated by Acts 9 – not for the come-to-Jesus-moment of conversion – but more like a Jesus-comes-to-me-when I’m-in-a-dark-place experience – since I was already a Christian…ever since I can remember. Paul had the Old Testament…knew it like the back of his hand…he was a fervent believer…but what was absent from his belief system was Christ (which is a dark place indeed). There were two very dark times in my life. And I believe in both instances Jesus Christ came to my rescue. The first was when I was 19 years old having a really bad acid trip. In the middle of the night – alone - in the middle of a maelstrom of frightening hallucinations, paranoia and extreme anxiety I said out loud “Jesus Christ help me” . And immediately that mental turbulence subsided. I know - you'll probably say "that's just in your head" - and you're absolutely right .To this day I believe that was a miracle. It wasn't a spectacular tangible event - it was a quiet inner experience. Know this - It’s important to ask Jesus Christ for help. The second dark time was at the ’86 Rock of Ages (which would be the last big TWI-event I would attend) . I think LCM was talking on stage and in the whirlpool of WWwT bedlam ( or the what-would-wierwille-think confusing way to make a decision ) roaring in my head I said to myself - or maybe it was a prayer?...was it inspired by intuition?…the Holy Spirit?…Jesus Christ? I don't know...anyway …I thought to myself something along the lines of “how can we be in such a mess if this ministry has more of the rightly divided Word than any other group?” It wasn’t so much the exact question. It wasn't a spectacular experience - it was something quiet happening on the inside that others around me weren't even aware of. It was more like flipping on a switch…engaging cognitive skills that had laid dormant for 12 years…daring to question…challenge…analyze…evaluate everything I had learned from wierwille / PFAL. Rather than having PFAL as the go-to playbook for a crisis – remember this - it’s important to ask Jesus Christ for help. If you reread my post - the excerpts from the Rescuing the Bible book about Paul ( here ) I think you might find there are many ex-Twi followers who can relate to Paul’s life-changing experience – being thrown off our high horses of PFAL-arrogancy by the almost sunlight-blinding realization that Christ was largely absent from wierwille’s ideology…his pseudo-Christian dogma should be a thing of the past...If you ask me, I think you'll get a lot farther on foot - following in the steps of Jesus Christ - than riding wierwille's high horse named PFAL. That’s all for now folks

Todd Snider is so underrated.

Hey OS One thing I got into examining along these lines is the epic of Gilgamesh https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epic_of_Gilgamesh It is not the Bible. It is not spiritual truth. It is a story constructed by many people over time. How does this help? To me tangentially. And it’s a cool story. Yes off topic don’t mod me dudes lol.

IMO the inescapable truth throughout T bones entire post here is ask Jesus Christ for help. He is not a transformer suit made to amplify your appendages. He is not a non entity. He is absent in person but not in spirit. He is right now seated at the right hand of God ever ready to make intercession for you. ask Jesus Christ for help this is an ongoing acknowledgment that you made him lord in your life. This activates the intercessor. This helps the self ego not inflate to the point you set him aside and execute your own will.

So glorious to witness a Mike War and not be IN the damned thing. Some passing thoughts, most if not all of which I have already expressed elsewhere. 1. The Bible is not the Word of God. The Bible is not "a" book. It's a collection of writings. As such, it lacks the cohesion and self-awareness to call itself "The Word of God." It never makes the claim. It's not even an "it"; it is a "they." Every time the Bible mentions the Word of God, it is quite clearly not referring to itself. 2. PFAL can only be "God-breathed" if PFAL is wrong about what "God-breathed" means. 3. Declaring that something has "stood the test of time," whether that thing is PFAL or the Bible, is a joke. It's only stood the test of time because "you" ignore that it has not. The more closely you look at the Bible, the more it falls apart as science, history, morality, etc. 4. There really IS a hidden message in PFAL, one I've raised numerous times. It's not that PFAL is God-breathed. It's that Wierwille concocted his entire scheme AFTER concluding that the Bible was all bunk. He no longer believed the words Holy or Bible on the cover. It was all a grift from there on out. I tell you, the more I look at his life, the more that makes total sense. :)

Psychedelics can be extremely effective in this way. Your experience is quite common. Though, I suspect many don't try to understand the "bad trip" by going into it and reflecting on it. The anxiety and dissonance is clutching to the ego that is trying to die; reaching for Jesus Christ is the submission to the ego death, the letting go of identification with ego, and the new identification with God - a rebirth. Not everyone gets this. I'm not saying psychedelics are a pathway to Christ, but they can help jolt you awake from the malaise of "old man" thinking. All I'm saying is the greatest rewards come out of the hardest work through the darkest places, which is what you were saying, I think. The bad trip is worth it. Great post all around. Thanks.

For the benefit of anyone reading this who is not a former student of PFAL: in each session of the Foundational Class there is a group of focus questions called, appropriately, "Listening With A Purpose". There are usually about 5 or 6 per session, if my memory serves me correctly, and they are listed in the syllabus on the corresponding page for each session. There is only one "correct" answer for each question. (An important point to remember as preparation takes place for entrance into the Advanced Class.) The Class Instructor, who is not actually an instructor, but, rather, a presenter of the materials, supplies the officially approved answer to each question as a summary of each particular session. The very first "Listening With A Purpose" for session #1 reads as follows: 1.)What is the greatest secret in the world today? The official answer is "The Bible is the revealed word and will of God."

I just want to live until I've got to die. I know I ain't perfect, but God knows I try. I think I'm an alright guy. I think I'm alright.

All this was happening while I was trying but failing to sleep in bed. If I'd realised, I'd've got my phone out and tried to read some of this monologue. Would've put me to sleep fast.