Ham

Maybe that is part of the agreement this time around.. to be found.. there is always the possiblility that one will not.. be found.. Seems.. it depends upon another, not on one's self.. :

I dunno. Let me frame this in the least egotistical manner that I can.. I've been pretty darn frustrated trying to find HIM.. I've figured.. if he knows the path, maybe he just needs to find ME.. that's the whole point of being "lost" is it not? :)

Emerson Lake and Palmer Tarkus.. I guess I'm still stuck in the seventies..

fear of the darkness.. only problem is "they" defined it. It's not really as dark as they made it out to be..

a lot of absolutes there too, "always".. oh. What's wrong with other people's terms and conditions anyway? just a simple little "whadda we gotta do to make this right.." USUALLY, the terms and conditions are a heck of a lot lower than some people would expect. Unless the "offense" involves some real serious criminal type activities..

Sure. I'll take a polo poney, a bicycle, a .. hey, I hear it's a nice, economical, warm vacation spot.. I have a QSL card from a ham who went vacationing there. They call these little ventures "DXpeditions". Between swimming, sailing, etc., they give out a kazillion contacts on the radio from exotic locations.

So what's wrong with an apology? I'm not exactly expecting one, but.. with an apology one reclaims at least some of the power over their life they gave to another (the "offended"). Some of these jokers in the "ministry" revealed the deepest dark recesses of their psyche to me.. things I'd rather not see in another human being, or even believe it's possible. the raw egotism along with it's unreasonable demands for loyalty, unchecked ambition.. paranoia and unreasonable fears, etc. etc.. I'd REALLY like to see some good in them. Unfortunately for them, they aren't ready to show me that side of their personality. I really think that if one really "wrongs" a brother, the person is really giving something away. What are they giving.. hmm.. one's reputation, if one had a good one to begin with. free and often documentable verification that the person was the a** that some may have suspected.. power to do as one wishes.. look at der vey.. every time they rear their ugly head and try to advertise, they get a beating. Yep, we're still here.. an apology would at the least soften some of the consequences. some in the ministry were so mean and rotten to the body of Christ as a whole, nothing less than a public apology would fix very much. look at loy. Even with a half hearted "I'm sowy", I think a lot of people here would say "fine. at least we get some kind of closure." You just know.. that what he has on the inside must be like a festering sore, with life just bleeding away..

hmm. What's noticeably absent though, is pfal on DVD. No more old sns either.. I seem to remember them selling intermediate and advanced stuff too..

God bless you brother..

Just bringing it to the top.. somebody posted on another thread about how they can now buy vey materials without jumping through hoops. What happened to the "problem" here? did der vey decide that abandoned material should be miraculously unabandoned? Whatever happened to the Belezian group? Anybody know?

Hmm. I think I'm number five. That is, when I'm not sleeping..

Probably "lightened up" after finding the Belezian folks could legally print and sell abandoned material..

I've heard there is no such thing as "bad acid".. very likely.. somebody metered out about ten times what was guaranteed.. chemically speaking.. either it IS, or it ISN'T..

oh no.. that was for the "rank and file".. they had whole volumes of stuff for the REAL "innies": the closer you got to "the inner circle".. they had scads of stuff.. "how to please da mogster, in a dozen or so easy(?) lessons" 'how to break the holy mint into precise quarters" "who to have meet him at the airport" "what one may talk with his holiness(?) on the ride to da meeting.. and what issues thou mightest not address".. they had rampant VOLUMES for those in the "inner circle" to peruse.. I never saw these. They are "holy script".. hidden away, for only the most faithful(?)..

It's in the same book that alleges vic as da man of gawd for our day and time.. same book that has instructions to take "disobedient" (fidgidy) children out in the wilderness where nobody can hear their screams.. as you beat the living daylights out of them.. same book that alleges that women are merely property of da kindgom, to "bless" da king.. married or not.. same book that says we owe our VERY LIVES to the dumb ministry.. pretty big book.. that's just the first chapter..

Swatratra might be a little more forthcoming if the victims, er I mean the fellowship participants signed a waiver acknowledging that the readings, ahem, the prophecies are for entertainment purposes only..

As nicely as I can say it.. at the "harvest time of life".. I wouldn't be too happy just leaving some twi clone wanabe organization standing somewhere on the face of the earth.. :) I'd be happier if somebody just said "he was just a nice guy, most of the time.."

I dunno. I don't think we can exactly separate ourselves from the past. It is still part of us. I think that is what some are trying to do.. That was you back there.. twenty or so years ago.. I haven't met ANYONE here, that I would say that they are wallowing in self pity or anything. On the contrary.. most are reclaiming their lives. What could have been is becoming what is.. I became, and am becoming what could have been.. I got a ham radio license.. in 1993. It's what "coulda been" thirty years ago.. I am a stones throw from a bachellor's in mathmatics and chemistry.. It's what coulda been, twenty some years ago.. but still the past is part of me. Rascal got the black belt.. "coulda" done it fifteen years ago.. The only FEW that seem to be going nowhere.. unless I just don't know enough details.. are those who staunchly choose to REMAIN in the past.. bound by the "shadows of a few great(?) names", bound by an arcane doctrine or set of doctrines that only those here can understand. Going from one offshoot to another, one "great" name to another..

"Swatratra".. hmm. Sounds more like a modern dance that didn't exactly catch on..

I know there are exceptions here.. but with the current track record.. what I am starting to think.. don't trust ANYBODY in an offshoot. Many have too much invested in der verd as it hath not been known since the earth cooled.. can't "contaminate" vic's heritage and word with a little dose of reality. Maybe they want to leave "something standing" in the harvest time of life.. but an outhouse by any other name is still an outhouse. Nothing a bucket of lime won't fix.

even Capone could have an official stance. "Our mission: feed the poor and unemployed doughnuts and coffee." He didn't have an official stance on Heroin, robbery and general mayhem, however. Never taught kiddies in his doughnut shops to rob and stab their neighbors.. some of us here helped pass out the coffee and doughnuts.. on our own dime.

some people think you can separate doctrine and practice. I would suggest it's not really so easy. It's kinda like "we've got standards, but we really don't". "just don't touch da bible.." "don't you DARE touch MY righteousness.. da bible tells me so.." sorry fella.. I'm not the one rubbing it in horse manure.. should have been my answer at the time..

and that is the REAL offshoot "problem". they have way too much "invested".. too many years in a deadbeat organization.. too many hours giving it free labor, adoring it's teachings.. lavishing it's leadership with praise.. giving financially.. abandoning real callings, and higher education for a madman's dream.. it all has to mean "something" ya know.. where's the "payoff"? it's easy enough to spell out.. we were H. A. D. "but naw.. it's gotta mean something.. we got da word, didn't we?" what if everything you came to believe is WRONG? "naw, can't be it. let's tap into another ministry, another pfal clone.. another group.."