Ham

I saw an old National Geographic special once.. it was about some tribe in the Amazon.. actually two tribes. There were two dueling witchdoctors. The one claimed to put "spirits" in the other one.. The other one "proved" he had mastery over them and could expell them by projectile vomiting latex..

hmm. Insurance companies.. "John Doe" investigators and agents... Weird. What were they "investigating"? I wonder how much longer the A**en suit settlement details will be sealed.. I don't think they can put it on ice like.. forever or anything? Or can they? When I read "executive liability" "insurance companies", "investigators", "twi", "plaintiffs" and "defendants" in the same paragraph.. I wonder if the insurance companies refused to pay for loy's little transgressions..

maybe what some people are afraid to look at.. as far as "self" is concerned. it's so fragile.. so.. "temporal".. or is it? wait till we wake up from this dream.. or maybe we will only dream again..

maybe you're just afraid to look at that little "dark" spot in the psyche.. it's really not evil or anything.. at least of itself. No, it's not "the seed of the devil" or anything.. I remember something about the Hubble telescope.. they pointed it where it didn't look like anything was there.. and they saw not just stars, but galaxies.

If you haven't considered it.. in a way I feel sorry for you. See.. 97.6 percent of this life (or slightly more) is about everybody else, everything else.. We had a few agreements or contracts for this existence.. and one clause involved "me." "What about me?" "me" may be very very small.. but it's part of the "deal".. it's actually the payoff.. rather slim profit margin.. but it was worth it. Some people wear it like it's some kind of handicap.. put it to sleep with drugs.. or religion.. sad.

So.. that leaves my question unanswered. "What's in it for YOU".. you represent YOURSELF. But it's not about you. It's about "others" (God only knows who "they" are..) Are you saying that we need the right kind of evidence to convict YOU? I'm really trying to understand you here.. but everything I get seems just to keep going around in circles.. :) are you really "real".. or are you a robot (program to answer certain questions within a limited context) somewhere? One thing I can say.. if you think you had "problems" before.. now you've got a Squirrel in your head. I hope you didn't pray "God I wish SOMEBODY could understand me.." because I do. And it's "messed up".. Last time somebody prayed that, we had real "problems". really. When you dream tonight.. ignore the little squirrel wearing the tuxedo behind the curtain.. he doesn't really mean any harm. He's just groping in the dark, trying to figure things out, just like everybody else.

naw.. it was the wierwillian theology that killed that little boy.. the fear.. in the heart.. in the life.. of that mother.. let's not stew and yak about what it was.. it was the embodiment of "da word as it hath not a been a known since the foist century" that was responsible. At least it was the contributing factor that "led to the death of that boy"..

Oh, I forgot the link to the story.. http://www.arrl.org/news/stories/2008/01/07/100/?nc=1

what it means, is in about five years give or take a year or so, I'll be able to talk with somebody in Europe with a ten foot piece of wire, and a transmitter with the ouput power of a small flashlight..

They taught publically, "things are supposed to be USED, people LOVED".. What they did was precisely the opposite.. look at Danny.. get sick, become a "liability".. you're on your own.. kinda same thing with me. Can't "move" loy's inane class? Can't rake in a few hundred more into twi's grasp? Out ya go.. "we know SOMETHING is wrong with you.. " Actually, I didn't let them go very far.. "I'll think about it and get back... see ya later.." I know how I'd answer der vegetable man today.. "I'll tell you what's wrong with me, it's YOU, jack***"..

From a Squirrel to a cartoon character, Happy birthday Bump..

The only thing that makes sense to me.. your own personal identity is so mixed up with the old organization.. that you perceive any attacks upon the organization, or the memory of the organization, as an attack upon yourself. If as you say, or at least intimate with the words "I'm in it for *others* (who might they be..), your identity is entirely wrapped up in the organization, or one like it, an attack on it must hurt, personally. If I'm wrong.. tell me.

OK. I'll accept that. But it sounds to me a lot like this article.. Maybe that's nice and all.. but: Who are the *others*" you claim to be "in it" for, when you say "put up or shut up.. ya know the drill.." "gimme EVIDENCE.." "don't wanna see THEM maligned.." Who do you exactly "represent" here?

So.. I reissue the question.. "what's in it, for YOU"? just a thought.. if it ISN'T about *you*.. then to me, it kinda logically falls under the 99 percent category.. who one LOVES, who one OWES, who one PAYS..

I personally spent well over twenty years in the organization, working a second rate job, not continuing education.. to be "available" to supposedly move the word.. to be able to have the free time to help run classes.. meetings.. be "free" to go to meetings.. I had a night job once.. real possibility of advancement, education.. you'd think.. "well, thank GOD He opened doors for ham like this.." naw.. "grrr.. and why CAN'T you come to twig? To classes? etc.. etc.." What's ironic.. we fought to have just a TINY bit of individuality in this life.. and how easily some of us were convinced to just throw it away.. ninety nine percent of this life is about other people. People we love, people we owe, people we pay.. nobody gets the one percent that's left from me, at least today..

and some of us have abandoned that fallacious form of reasoning... knowing FULL WELL that we can't love someone else, until we REALLY learn to love ourselves, and not limited to vic's, loy's, or twi's definition..

I mean.. why in the world would one dress one's self up as an effigy of vic, or loy.. or someone equally as nasty and subverted.. and then complain when the effigy gets beat with sticks here? Where is the logic in this? try to stuff all that dirt back under the carpet again.. "come back to da VERD".. "tow the line like a good little believer.." It's like.. dressing up like a chicken at a crocodile convention.. just an observation.. either it's pure ignorance, or it has some kinda purpose or agenda.. who knows.. maybe it's innocent. Maybe they LIKE being a chicken.. I dunno.. I dressed up as the Squirrel and showed up at a squirrel haters internet forum once. I just wanted to see if they had a sense of humor.. I dunno.. it's not "personal".. I'm just trying to understand here. Maybe.. maybe they are masochistic or something.. I dunno. I'm not exactly masochistic.. I exited the squirrel haters club fairly quickly and graciously.. "sorry you don't have a sense of humor here.." and I just LEFT.

I dunno.. if I was a new poster at this site, I'd probably think twice before telling my story to be castigated by accusations of falsehood, repeated demands for court documents supporting my claim, demands for EVIDENCE.. rejection of confirming eyewitness testimony.. "God save da Mog".. So what's the tactic here.. hmm. Maybe it's to discredit the claims by "forcing" the one making the claim to appear practically insane, desperately trying to convince the supposed ill informed denier that the events indeed happened? Honestly.. that's probably it.. one way to "deal" with offenses I suppose. The "fight" here isn't technically with the one denying the claim. It's with the corrupt organization that allowed it to happen, or was directly involved in the offense involved. Or those in the organization who directly caused the harm. But I think some people willingly throw themselves in front of the steam roller here.. why? I dunno.. maybe to take the heat off of their precious mog, mogette, or memory of the same.. perhaps to them, it's "just" an internet site.. we're not *people*.. we're *just* screen names.. I've been fairly honest about my twi experience. And why I'm here.. Interesting I've never gotten a reply from the other side "what's in it for YOU".. "oh, it's not about *me*. I just don't wanna see somebody ELSE lynched with false accusations" That's not what I asked.. not "what's in it for OTHER PEOPLE".. What's in it for YOU, personally? See.. it's not your fight. That is, unless you happen to be the vicster, rosie, the loyster, the donster.. "he who never mixes his bread and vegetables".. or one of their close cronies.. one who committed offense to God's people.. why put yourself in their place?

I'm suprised nobody currently on staff voted. Well, not suprised.. bit I didn't want to be rude and pull in the "welcome" mat.. j.l.. don't be afraid to vote.. it's perfectly anonymous. You won't get "possessed" or anything..

then they taught "no condemnation".. and proceeded to castigate people if there was dust on the top of the refrigerator.. or if they forgot their leadership's pets birthday, sent a store bought birthday card to der mogster instead of slaving hours making a hand made one, or something equally inane. Interesting.. I never got a hand made card from the loyster.. too busy "moving da word" I guess..

I dunno how anybody else thinks.. My personal nature DEMANDS that I make some kind of difference here.. at least in this life.. der vey offered a few shorcuts.. I'm glad I didn't take them up on them all.

I don't think so. . see.. we really haven't gone anywhere.. a lot of us who were "turned out".. left to our own "devices".. We are still here. the just "go ahead.. be peaceful.. be filled..".. a lot of us were previously filled with nonsense.. that's what a lot of us have heard.. where have some of us gone.. the "world" that was claimed to be so "ungodly".. the "cup of reality" we offer.. perhaps it is that the "one size spirituality fits all" does not really fit.. I kind of view twi as some kind of failed "experiment"..

Glad to see you are OK.. at least I hope. maybe the moral to the story.. have a damn cheap computer that you don't have any personal info on.. at least to surf the net with. this piece of junk here doesn't do video or youtube very well.. but all the worms or trojans in the world aren't gonna find a whole heck of a lot ..

Well.. staff can simply close a thread to no further contribution, and leave it in open, or about der vey.. where anyone can read it, logged in or not. One can reference it with a search, just not bring it back to the top. I think one of my threads would have to start going pretty sour before I'd request it. But it is an option.

Quite true. Maybe that's why some "leadership" was kinda nutso.. I've read that a lot of the corps experience for some people involved rather broken sleep schedules. Sleep deprivation proved to be a better interrogation technique than torture.. just keep waking people up every forty five minutes or so.. no rem sleep.. eventually they break..