Pirate1974

Surprised nobody's mentioned this one yet: LAST KISS J. Frank Wilson Well, where oh where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me. She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world. We were out on a date in my daddy's car. We hadn't driven very far. There in the road, straight ahead ... The car was stalled, the engine was dead. I couldn't stop, so I swerved to the right. Never forget the sound that night ... The cryin' tires, the bustin' glass. The painful scream that I heard last. Well, where oh where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me. She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world. Well, when I woke up, the rain was pourin' down. There were people standing all around. Something warm running in my eyes, but I found my baby somehow that night. I raised her head, and when she smiled, and said, "Hold me darling for a little while." I held her close. I kissed her our last kiss. I found the love that I knew I would miss. But now she's gone, even though I hold her tight. I lost my love ... my life, that night. Well, where oh where can my baby be? The Lord took her away from me. She's gone to heaven, so I got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world.

Another classic of the "dead teen" genre: TELL LAURA I LOVE HER Ray Peterson Laura and Tommy were lovers He wanted to give her everything Flowers, presents and most of all, a wedding ring He saw a sign for a stock car race A thousand dollar prize it read He couldn't get Laura on the phone So to her mother Tommy said Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her Tell Laura I may be late I've something to do, that cannot wait He drove his car to the racing grounds He was the youngest driver there The crowed roared as they started the race 'Round the track they drove at a deadly pace No one knows what happened that day How his car overturned in flames But as they pulled him from the twisted wreck With his dying breath, they heard him say Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her Tell Laura not to cry My love for her will never die And in the chapel where Laura prays For Tommy who passed away It was just for Laura he lived and died Alone in the chapel she can hear him cry Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her Tell Laura not to cry My love for her will never die Tell Laura I love her.....

Frodo and Sam? How about Merry and Pippin? In the scene where they had to be separated when Pippin rode off with Gandalf to Minas Tirith and Merry stayed in Rohan, they seemed like a lot more than just friends. My teenage son mentioned it too.

"Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome" was a pretty good part 3. One of the worst second sequels ever has to be "Home Alone 3." What a waste of film.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Two guys from my office drove all the way to Winston-Salem (about 1 1/2 hours) to sit through a marathon of the extended versions of the first two movies plus the third one that started at midnight. Over 11 hours in a theater seat. My butt's numb just thinking about it. I'm waiting until the crowds go down a little bit before I see it.

She was only the florist's daughter, but she had the best tulips in town.

When I mention the way, which is almost never, I just say it was a religious group that I was in while I was in college. Most people, including my wife, have never asked any questions about it and I don't volunteer anything. They probably just think it was something like Campus Crusade.

Ever seen any ancient Japanese erotic prints? They were enjoying that long before there even was a United States.

"Did the kids like it?" The 7-year old enjoyed the farts and booger jokes and dog pee stuff. The 11-year old thought it was stupid. It would be a shame if a kid's only knowledge of Dr. Seuss came from this mess.

"There's no crying in baseball!" - Jimmy Dugan, A League Of Their Own

Got conned into taking my son and his cousin to see this turkey and it just might be the absolutely worst movie I've ever seen in my life. Unbelievably awful. Whoever owns the rights to the works of the late Theodore (Dr. Seuss) Geisel should be ashamed of themselves for ever letting this movie get made. I don't expect much from Mike Myers, but the genius of Dr. Seuss was in his use of language and his invention of wild characters, not burps, farts, barf, dog urine, stupid sexual references or shots to the crotch. The good doctor must be turning triple back flips in his grave. When Myers goes for his Fat Bastard voice, you know this movie has sunk about as low as it can go. Save your money and buy your kids some real Dr. Seuss books.

"Look at that! Look how she moves. That's just like Jell-O on springs. She must have some sort of built-in motors. I tell you, it's a whole different sex!" Jack Lemmon describing Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot.

"Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!" - President Merkin Muffley, Dr. Strangelove

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily - John Blutarsky, Animal House

Stephanie is 17, a senior in my wife's high school Algebra class. Her sister Kim was 15, a sophomore at the same school. Kim's friends described her as very loving, always happy, always making somebody laugh. She had been a middle school cheerleader and she coached 5, 6, and 7-year old girls in cheerleading at one of the local athletic associations. She loved watching the Kim Possible cartoon show. There were no problems at home as she came from a loving, stable family. On Monday, November 3rd, Kim was hanging out at the mall with some friends when she told them that she was going home and she would meet up with them later. She never did. Her sister Stephanie came home later and found Kim hanging from the bannister on the stairway. She was still alive and they rushed her to the hospital, but she died on Wednesday, November 5th. Not surprisingly, her family is devastated, especially her older sister, who found her. My wife went to the visitation and it was terrible. So sad. My wife told Stephanie that if there was anything she could do just ask, and Stephanie told her, "Just bring Kim back." Whoa. The other kids at school say that Kim had broken up with her boyfriend just before she killed herself. It's unbelievable to me that someone so young could commit suicide because of some high school romance that went bad. Kim was the same age as my older son and that really makes this hit home in a big way. If anything good could possibly come out of this terrible tragedy, it's that maybe some parents will talk to their kids and tell them that there's nothing worth killing yourself over at the age of 15. I know I've done that now with my own son. Kids need to understand that pain does not last forever, not matter how bad it is, and things will get better. Parents need to let their children know that they can always come to them with any kind of problem, not matter what it is. Suicide is definitely not painless, especially for those who are left behind.

Don't wait to see this one on DVD. A spectacular movie that has to be seen on the big screen. If there has ever been a more realistic movie made about what life was really like on a 19th-century sailing ship, I've never seen it. The battle scenes are amazing. This an action movie, but not non-stop action so there's time to actually get to know the characters. It's an action movie actually made for adults, not teenage boys. Russell Crowe is excellent as the ship's captain. Check it out.

Billy Bob Thornton as Davy Crockett. Interesting choice.

If you want to see something that will really creep you out, try to find a copy of the uncut version of Tod Browning's "Freaks." While not technically a horror movie, I guess, it is disturbingly weird. Made in 1932 with real carnival "freaks," it has never been officially released on video and the only copies out there are bootlegs. It's surprising this movie ever got made 70 years ago. Seeing The Living Torso is enough to give you the creeps.

"The Sixth Sense" Definitely the creepiest movie I've ever seen.

NEW YORK (AFP) - Rupert Murdoch's Fox News Channel threatened to sue the makers of "The Simpsons" over a parody of the channel's right-wing political stance, the creator of the hit US television show has claimed. In an interview this week with National Public Radio, Matt Groening recalled how the news channel had considered legal action, despite the fact that "The Simpsons" is broadcast on sister network, Fox Entertainment. According to Groening, Fox took exception to a Simpsons' version of the Fox News rolling news ticker which parodied the channel's anti-Democrat stance, with headlines like "Do Democrats Cause Cancer?" "Fox fought against it and said they would sue the show," Groening said. "We called their bluff because we didn't think Rupert Murdoch would pay for Fox to sue itself. So, we got away with it." While the lawsuit never materialized, Groening said some action was taken. "Now Fox has a new rule that we can't do those little fake news crawls on the bottom of the screen in a cartoon because it might confuse the viewers into thinking it's real news," he said. ************************************************ Fox viewers might think news items like "JFK posthumously joins Republican Party" or "Study shows 92% of Democrats are gay" are real??? D'oh!!

10. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to try to get help. 9. If you find yourself in a town that is deserted, it's probably for a very good reason. Take the hint and get out of there. 8. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out. 7. If you hear a strange noise at night, don't go looking for the cause of it. Leave the house immediately. 6. Never read a book of demon summoning out loud, even as a joke. 5. As a general rule, do not solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. 4. Do not take anything from the dead. 3. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead. 2. Stay away from certain geographical areas such as Amityville, Elm Street, Camp Crystal Lake, Transylvania or any small town in Maine. 1. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, nail guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, circular saws or anything made from deceased companions.

And if you're going to condemn something, at least learn how to spell it. It's "Pikachu" not "Peekachoo."

If you hand out Bible tracts instead of candy, your house might get baptized by Holy Eggs.

This movie is like watching a kid play a video game on a big screen, except most games have a better plot and more interesting characters.