A young lady the boss hired as a bookkeeper for me (trust me, it wasn't because of her 10 key expertise) called in sick on a Tuesday. When she came back in the following day, she volunteered that she was exhausted because had laid out in the sun all weekend and "You know how the sun saps your strength!" When I reminded her that she had been able to crawl into work on Monday, she said, "Well, it took time for it to catch up with me."
Same lady was always late getting into work. In discussing the issue with her, she asked if she could start coming in a half hour late every day. When I asked why, she said "It takes too long to get to work when I leave her house". :unsure: I suggested that she consider leaving fifteen minutes earlier. She tilted her head and said, "Gee, I never thought of that!" It musta worked, cause she was never late again.
A lady comes in and say "I need a starter for my truck" so my friend at the counter says "what kind of Truck ?" She doesn't know, doesn't know the year, or the size of the engine. Finally in exasperation she snaps "Well it's blue!!!""
Man comes into the store with a puzzled look on his face. "i need those things that go in the engine, you know the things on the ends of the spark plug wires" .looking at each other Louise finally ventures a word and says "you mean spark plugs???" customer "oh, is that what you call them???"
A lady comes in and say "I need a starter for my truck" so my friend at the counter says "what kind of Truck ?" She doesn't know, doesn't know the year, or the size of the engine. Finally in exasperation she snaps "Well it's blue!!!""
A friend once asked me for the name of that movie that stars Harrison Ford playing a fugitive.
I was at a hotel in North Carolina and ordered room service. It said "Domestic Beers, $3.50" I asked them what kind of domestic beers they had. They answered "Heineken and Corona."
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Shellon
Love it, I've done the first thing with furniture and a couple of appliances. Free didn't work, but putting a price on em did.
Funny
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dmiller
Those remind me of the *Here's your sign -- *stupid* jokes.
Moving from one house to another, we pulled the U-haul to the front,
and commenced loading furniture into it from the house.
A couple out walking their dog passed by and said --
"Oh, you all must be moving".
I looked at them and said -- "No. We decided to take our furniture out for a drive."
(Here's your sign!)
I was standing in line at the checkout counter, with a Christmas wreath.
Lady behind me said -- "Oh, are you going to hang that on your front door?"
I said "No. I'm gonna use it for a toilet seat cover. I got the idea from Martha Stewart!"
(Here's your sign!)
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock,
I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes,
"Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"
I said "Nope - Talked 'em into giving up."
(Here's your sign.)
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations.
The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said,
"Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around
and those other three just swelled right up on me."
(Here's your sign.)
(Yes --- they walk amongst us!) ;)
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topoftheworld
Two true stories
A young lady the boss hired as a bookkeeper for me (trust me, it wasn't because of her 10 key expertise) called in sick on a Tuesday. When she came back in the following day, she volunteered that she was exhausted because had laid out in the sun all weekend and "You know how the sun saps your strength!" When I reminded her that she had been able to crawl into work on Monday, she said, "Well, it took time for it to catch up with me."
Same lady was always late getting into work. In discussing the issue with her, she asked if she could start coming in a half hour late every day. When I asked why, she said "It takes too long to get to work when I leave her house". :unsure: I suggested that she consider leaving fifteen minutes earlier. She tilted her head and said, "Gee, I never thought of that!" It musta worked, cause she was never late again.
Yep, they are out there.
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templelady
Years ago I worked in an auto parts store:
A lady comes in and say "I need a starter for my truck" so my friend at the counter says "what kind of Truck ?" She doesn't know, doesn't know the year, or the size of the engine. Finally in exasperation she snaps "Well it's blue!!!""
Man comes into the store with a puzzled look on his face. "i need those things that go in the engine, you know the things on the ends of the spark plug wires" .looking at each other Louise finally ventures a word and says "you mean spark plugs???" customer "oh, is that what you call them???"
they do indeed walk among us
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dmiller
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Raf
A friend once asked me for the name of that movie that stars Harrison Ford playing a fugitive.
I was at a hotel in North Carolina and ordered room service. It said "Domestic Beers, $3.50" I asked them what kind of domestic beers they had. They answered "Heineken and Corona."
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T-Bone
Alright, here's a tough one for yah: In what famous "Gone with the Wind" movie did Clark Gable first appear in? :blink:
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Ca_dreaming
HAHAHAHAHAHA! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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topoftheworld
There was a movie???????
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dmiller
Even I --- Mr. Non-movie goer -- could get that one right!!
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