"She said one of her favorite movies is The Wizard of Oz. Well, I re-watched it recently, and I can't believe I never noticed the liberal subtext before. Judy Garland--gay icon--stars as Dorothy, an innocent girl from the Heartland, who gets swept away to a drug-induced fantasy land where's she's greeted by labor activists from the local guild. After she murders a powerful Oz official, she becomes a fugitive, hitting the road with a racially diverse group including a laborer, an animal-rights activist, and a treehugger. Who are all, for some mysterious reason, great dancers. And along the way, they get so high on poppies they think they're being attacked by flying monkeys. Folks, there's a short walk from 'There's no place like home' to 'It Takes a Village.' "
"She said one of her favorite movies is The Wizard of Oz. Well, I re-watched it recently, and I can't believe I never noticed the liberal subtext before. Judy Garland--gay icon--stars as Dorothy, an innocent girl from the Heartland, who gets swept away to a drug-induced fantasy land where's she's greeted by labor activists from the local guild. After she murders a powerful Oz official, she becomes a fugitive, hitting the road with a racially diverse group including a laborer, an animal-rights activist, and a treehugger. Who are all, for some mysterious reason, great dancers. And along the way, they get so high on poppies they think they're being attacked by flying monkeys. Folks, there's a short walk from 'There's no place like home' to 'It Takes a Village.' "
"I actually do think that Wikipedia is an amazing thing. It is the first place I go when I’m looking for knowledge, or when I want to create some."
"Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'."
"Which brings me to threat number one: gravity. It is not enough--it is not enough that everyone in the mainstream media is against this President. Now even the laws of physics are jumping on the anti-Bush bandwagon? 'Course, I've known about gravity's liberal bias ever since my tenth grade science teacher, Mr. Stamp, dropped a bowling ball and a feather in a vacuum. Bowling ball should definitely have won. There's only one way that feather could keep up: affirmative action. Point is, we've lost gravity to the liberals, folks; but inertia, I hope you're listening! You of all principles of physics should know to stay the course."
" Well, they've got a whole campaign, they're going to go with it. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world."
" We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians."
[... and ... stare at him] "Is there anything we can do?"
"We'll get an immediate TRO."
"I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard."
" The word is "muster", ..., but you're right, the law lacks condiments."
...
"May I express a thought, because I so rarely get one, and I should preface this by saying that I'm so far up the a$$ of big business I view the world as one giant colon. "
" Well, they've got a whole campaign, they're going to go with it. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world."
" We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians."
[... and ... stare at him] "Is there anything we can do?"
"We'll get an immediate TRO."
"I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard."
" The word is "muster", ..., but you're right, the law lacks condiments."
...
"May I express a thought, because I so rarely get one, and I should preface this by saying that I'm so far up the a$$ of big business I view the world as one giant colon. "
...
"S...? What about senior partners? There would be nothing wrong with me, lusting, say, after... you? Would there?"
"Go subscribe to National Geographic. Make a list of the places you'll never get to visit. Add to that list, S....(me)"
(on phone) "I'm very angry that your mother paid us a surprise visit.....No, I don't hate your mother; I don't know your mother. I hate surprises!"
"Do you know that periwinkle is also an intracoastal mussel?"
"No, but if you hum a few bars, I'll wing it."
"Every one of those individuals shares a unique attribute, distinguishing them from the rest of the general population. And that is, somebody wants them dead."
"What about my Probe? Exactly what image was that suppose to transfer, 'cause all I'm getting is paper dress, metal stirrups and legs a-kimbo. Exactly what was the thought process behind that marketing coup? (Impersonates a Ford marketing exec) Say Bob, what's a metaphor for an invasive, somewhat humiliating procedure 'cause we really need something to compete with the Chevy Speculum."
"Baba Bebe? You mean the one who brainwashes young people?
My kind of guy!"
"My name is Abu Kareem Hassan.
What is, is.
What was, will be.
What will be, was, but will be again."
"We better hurry up, I'm startin' to understand him."
...miracles cannot be rushed."
"Look, Arnold, I am... Arnold, what you just said, that was beautiful. It made a lot of sense."
"Of course! Births cannot be rushed. For example, first, the stork has to be notified."
"What's that?"
"That's a Bicentennial Knish."
"..what's that satchel for?"
"It's for the money. What am I gonna do, stuff 250 G's in my pocket?"
"Hey, Juan, um, they gonna give us a check."
"Oh, no, I don't take checks. Checks bounce."
"Well, this one's gonna be from New York State."
"Especially those!"
"Teaching this class is about as much fun as root canal work."
"I thought all the routes to your canal dried up a long time ago!"
"Oh, but Mr. Woodman, Rembrandt painted plenty of nudes."
"Well, I wanna see Rembrandt in my office, too!'
" 'James Buchanan' is not anywhere. It's in Bensonhurst, which is in Brooklyn, which is where I spent four degenerate years as a student. You know how rough that is? The gangs there don't use guns. They insert the bullets manually."
"So nobody did it. I think we should put a candle in the window, because the last time this happened, three wise men came from the east."
"I feel like this is just the beginning. Today, Buchanan, tomorrow, who knows? Governor Barbarino, Senator Barbarino, Emperor Barbarino!
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Raf
Wow. This one's been dormant for a while... "Uh I've just been handed a news flash. The word "Canada" is unrhymeable. It's easier to - I don't know - get drunk and try to climb a bull
WordWolf
I'll go with "Trust no one" being an X-Files quote.
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GeorgeStGeorge
Right you are.
George
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WordWolf
Ok, here's a quote we haven't done before......
"She said one of her favorite movies is The Wizard of Oz. Well, I re-watched it recently, and I can't believe I never noticed the liberal subtext before. Judy Garland--gay icon--stars as Dorothy, an innocent girl from the Heartland, who gets swept away to a drug-induced fantasy land where's she's greeted by labor activists from the local guild. After she murders a powerful Oz official, she becomes a fugitive, hitting the road with a racially diverse group including a laborer, an animal-rights activist, and a treehugger. Who are all, for some mysterious reason, great dancers. And along the way, they get so high on poppies they think they're being attacked by flying monkeys. Folks, there's a short walk from 'There's no place like home' to 'It Takes a Village.' "
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Thomas Loy Bumgarner
Jeff Foxworthy from Blue Collar Tour, or from Seinfeld. Has to be a comedian, or could be George Carlin.
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WordWolf
Seinfeld is the only series you mentioned.
It's not Seinfeld.
For free, I'll throw in that it's not Foxworthy or Carlin either.
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WordWolf
"She said one of her favorite movies is The Wizard of Oz. Well, I re-watched it recently, and I can't believe I never noticed the liberal subtext before. Judy Garland--gay icon--stars as Dorothy, an innocent girl from the Heartland, who gets swept away to a drug-induced fantasy land where's she's greeted by labor activists from the local guild. After she murders a powerful Oz official, she becomes a fugitive, hitting the road with a racially diverse group including a laborer, an animal-rights activist, and a treehugger. Who are all, for some mysterious reason, great dancers. And along the way, they get so high on poppies they think they're being attacked by flying monkeys. Folks, there's a short walk from 'There's no place like home' to 'It Takes a Village.' "
"I actually do think that Wikipedia is an amazing thing. It is the first place I go when I’m looking for knowledge, or when I want to create some."
"Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'."
"Which brings me to threat number one: gravity. It is not enough--it is not enough that everyone in the mainstream media is against this President. Now even the laws of physics are jumping on the anti-Bush bandwagon? 'Course, I've known about gravity's liberal bias ever since my tenth grade science teacher, Mr. Stamp, dropped a bowling ball and a feather in a vacuum. Bowling ball should definitely have won. There's only one way that feather could keep up: affirmative action. Point is, we've lost gravity to the liberals, folks; but inertia, I hope you're listening! You of all principles of physics should know to stay the course."
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bulwinkl
Sounds like Colbert Report to me
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GeorgeStGeorge
"The Glenn Beck Show"?
George
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WordWolf
Bingo.
The "flag" was Colbert's comments about never seeing race- people tell him about it and he
supposes they're correct...
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bulwinkl
"How can you ban red meat?"
" Well, they've got a whole campaign, they're going to go with it. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world."
" We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians."
[... and ... stare at him] "Is there anything we can do?"
"We'll get an immediate TRO."
"I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard."
" The word is "muster", ..., but you're right, the law lacks condiments."
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GeorgeStGeorge
I know I've heard that exchange.
"King of the Hill"?
George
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bulwinkl
ahhh nope
"How can you ban red meat?"
" Well, they've got a whole campaign, they're going to go with it. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world."
" We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians."
[... and ... stare at him] "Is there anything we can do?"
"We'll get an immediate TRO."
"I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard."
" The word is "muster", ..., but you're right, the law lacks condiments."
...
"May I express a thought, because I so rarely get one, and I should preface this by saying that I'm so far up the a$$ of big business I view the world as one giant colon. "
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bulwinkl
"How can you ban red meat?"
" Well, they've got a whole campaign, they're going to go with it. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world."
" We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians."
[... and ... stare at him] "Is there anything we can do?"
"We'll get an immediate TRO."
"I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard."
" The word is "muster", ..., but you're right, the law lacks condiments."
...
"May I express a thought, because I so rarely get one, and I should preface this by saying that I'm so far up the a$$ of big business I view the world as one giant colon. "
...
"S...? What about senior partners? There would be nothing wrong with me, lusting, say, after... you? Would there?"
"Go subscribe to National Geographic. Make a list of the places you'll never get to visit. Add to that list, S....(me)"
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GeorgeStGeorge
"Boston Legal"?
George
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bulwinkl
you got it George
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GeorgeStGeorge
(on phone) "I'm very angry that your mother paid us a surprise visit.....No, I don't hate your mother; I don't know your mother. I hate surprises!"
"Do you know that periwinkle is also an intracoastal mussel?"
"No, but if you hum a few bars, I'll wing it."
"Every one of those individuals shares a unique attribute, distinguishing them from the rest of the general population. And that is, somebody wants them dead."
"What about my Probe? Exactly what image was that suppose to transfer, 'cause all I'm getting is paper dress, metal stirrups and legs a-kimbo. Exactly what was the thought process behind that marketing coup? (Impersonates a Ford marketing exec) Say Bob, what's a metaphor for an invasive, somewhat humiliating procedure 'cause we really need something to compete with the Chevy Speculum."
George
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WordWolf
Is this "the 4400"?
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GeorgeStGeorge
No. Right network, though. It's a current show.
George
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WordWolf
"Invasion"?
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GeorgeStGeorge
Sorry. I'm going to be out of town for a week. It was "In Plain Sight."
Please, someone take my turn.
George
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WordWolf
Ok, let's see.....
"He has joined the cult of Baba Bebe."
"Baba Bebe? You mean the one who brainwashes young people?
My kind of guy!"
"My name is Abu Kareem Hassan.
What is, is.
What was, will be.
What will be, was, but will be again."
"We better hurry up, I'm startin' to understand him."
...miracles cannot be rushed."
"Look, Arnold, I am... Arnold, what you just said, that was beautiful. It made a lot of sense."
"Of course! Births cannot be rushed. For example, first, the stork has to be notified."
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WordWolf
"He has joined the cult of Baba Bebe."
"Baba Bebe? You mean the one who brainwashes young people?
My kind of guy!"
"My name is Abu Kareem Hassan.
What is, is.
What was, will be.
What will be, was, but will be again."
"We better hurry up, I'm startin' to understand him."
...miracles cannot be rushed."
"Look, Arnold, I am... Arnold, what you just said, that was beautiful. It made a lot of sense."
"Of course! Births cannot be rushed. For example, first, the stork has to be notified."
"What's that?"
"That's a Bicentennial Knish."
"..what's that satchel for?"
"It's for the money. What am I gonna do, stuff 250 G's in my pocket?"
"Hey, Juan, um, they gonna give us a check."
"Oh, no, I don't take checks. Checks bounce."
"Well, this one's gonna be from New York State."
"Especially those!"
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WordWolf
"He has joined the cult of Baba Bebe."
"Baba Bebe? You mean the one who brainwashes young people?
My kind of guy!"
"My name is Abu Kareem Hassan.
What is, is.
What was, will be.
What will be, was, but will be again."
"We better hurry up, I'm startin' to understand him."
...miracles cannot be rushed."
"Look, Arnold, I am... Arnold, what you just said, that was beautiful. It made a lot of sense."
"Of course! Births cannot be rushed. For example, first, the stork has to be notified."
"What's that?"
"That's a Bicentennial Knish."
"..what's that satchel for?"
"It's for the money. What am I gonna do, stuff 250 G's in my pocket?"
"Hey, Juan, um, they gonna give us a check."
"Oh, no, I don't take checks. Checks bounce."
"Well, this one's gonna be from New York State."
"Especially those!"
"Teaching this class is about as much fun as root canal work."
"I thought all the routes to your canal dried up a long time ago!"
"Oh, but Mr. Woodman, Rembrandt painted plenty of nudes."
"Well, I wanna see Rembrandt in my office, too!'
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WordWolf
"He has joined the cult of Baba Bebe."
"Baba Bebe? You mean the one who brainwashes young people?
My kind of guy!"
"My name is Abu Kareem Hassan.
What is, is.
What was, will be.
What will be, was, but will be again."
"We better hurry up, I'm startin' to understand him."
...miracles cannot be rushed."
"Look, Arnold, I am... Arnold, what you just said, that was beautiful. It made a lot of sense."
"Of course! Births cannot be rushed. For example, first, the stork has to be notified."
"What's that?"
"That's a Bicentennial Knish."
"..what's that satchel for?"
"It's for the money. What am I gonna do, stuff 250 G's in my pocket?"
"Hey, Juan, um, they gonna give us a check."
"Oh, no, I don't take checks. Checks bounce."
"Well, this one's gonna be from New York State."
"Especially those!"
"Teaching this class is about as much fun as root canal work."
"I thought all the routes to your canal dried up a long time ago!"
"Oh, but Mr. Woodman, Rembrandt painted plenty of nudes."
"Well, I wanna see Rembrandt in my office, too!'
" 'James Buchanan' is not anywhere. It's in Bensonhurst, which is in Brooklyn, which is where I spent four degenerate years as a student. You know how rough that is? The gangs there don't use guns. They insert the bullets manually."
"So nobody did it. I think we should put a candle in the window, because the last time this happened, three wise men came from the east."
"I feel like this is just the beginning. Today, Buchanan, tomorrow, who knows? Governor Barbarino, Senator Barbarino, Emperor Barbarino!
You know, Julius Caesar was an Italian."
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