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"Red Ball One, bag is leaking."

"Traaaaaashbags! I want traaaaaashbags!"

"The key to any con is to place the mark in a position where he or she thinks reward will come or harm will be avoided if he or she does exactly as told by the conman."

"Hey, I couldn't help noticing that jacket's beginning to dry out and crack. Ever try tanning butter?"

"Only on pancakes. It tastes pretty yucky."

"Huh?"

"But it did turn my tongue a nice shade of brown."

"The bigger they are, The harder they fall."

"The bigger they are, the harder they hit!"

"It's over, Smith. You lost."

"And I was having such a nice day."

"Don't worry, he'll give us a minute like he always does."

"You have thirty seconds to give up your weapons before we open fire."

"Got to give the man credit. He's learning."

"What's gonna happen?"

"Looks like we're gonna crash."

"C'mon, really, what's gonna happen?"

"Looks like we're gonna crash. And die."

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"Red Ball One, bag is leaking."

Hannibal once relayed this message to Murdock. It meant one of the team was injured.

In this case, it was BA, and Murdock is the same blood type, thus he needed a transfusion...

"Traaaaaashbags! I want traaaaaashbags!"

I loved this episode. They infiltrated a prison- Murdock was a psychatric patient,

BA was a deaf-mute, Hannibal was his translator, and an effeminate hairdresser,

and face was a prison Psychologist, Dr Pepper.

Pepper recommended therapy like haircuts, and gut the prison to spring for hairdryers and

lawn-chairs as a cheap barber chair. Murdock kept screaming for trashbags all episode,

and quieted for a few hours if they gave him one.

They escaped the prison by using the hairdryers and trashbags to make hot air balloons,

which they attached to the lawnchairs.

"The key to any con is to place the mark in a position where he or she thinks reward will come or harm will be avoided if he or she does exactly as told by the conman."

"Hey, I couldn't help noticing that jacket's beginning to dry out and crack. Ever try tanning butter?"

"Only on pancakes. It tastes pretty yucky."

"Huh?"

"But it did turn my tongue a nice shade of brown."

Murdock's leather pilot jacket.

"The bigger they are, The harder they fall."

"The bigger they are, the harder they hit!"

"It's over, Smith. You lost."

"And I was having such a nice day."

"Don't worry, he'll give us a minute like he always does."

"You have thirty seconds to give up your weapons before we open fire."

"Got to give the man credit. He's learning."

Hannibal and Stockwell.

"What's gonna happen?"

"Looks like we're gonna crash."

"C'mon, really, what's gonna happen?"

"Looks like we're gonna crash. And die."

IIRC, the episode Murdock saved a plane by making a controlled crash. It was the one episode

BA woke up in the plane.

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"Well, I haven't gotten the memo yet, but any way that we can be protected from the nuts who call the city room would be great."

"That's not what the memo says. I asked you to be courteous to the nuts who call the city room."

"When I told you to pick a company to investigate sexual harassment, I didn't mean this one."

"I chose the Trib because that way, I felt the story would have the most impact."

"I have a feeling you're right."

George

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I have confined myself to US TV series...

[i"Most places do something for their employees at this time of year"

"Well, I've given them Christmas Day off."

"Chief, most banks even give a holiday bonus."

"I've already thought of that."

"You have?"

"Just this morning I said to myself, '*******, you've got to give those loyal employees of yours a Christmas bonus.'"

"But, Chief, that's extraordinary!"

"I thought so, too. Fortunately, a cold shower brought me to my senses." ][/i]

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Assuming that the blanked out word was the banker's name and not an expletive, it must be Mr. Drysdale talking with Miss Hathaway.

The Beverly Hillbillies

George

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1: "I guess it will be a long time before you'll eat another mushroom."

2: "You can say that again."

1: "I guess it will be a long time... [laughs]

3: "Don't worry about mushrooms anymore, I got a book that tells all about them."

1: "You do?"

3: "Huh huh. Yeah, and it's called, "'How to Tell A Mushroom From a Toadstool'" by the late Dr. Morton Kepstone."

1 & 2: "Late?"

3: "Late?"

"Anyone who says money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop."

"Wahine wiki huki luki nu, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart."

"That's beautiful. What's it mean?"

"It means this bar is off-limits to all military personnel."

George

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"I don't know how we're going to explain to our friends that we spent several years with people who aren't even in the social register."

"You call yourselves actors!?"

"I don't call myself an actor."

"If I say you're an actor you're an actor!"

"Ok! I'm an actor!"

"Believe me, you are NO actor!"

"I'm Secret Agent 36-24-36."

"Ahh, that no secret!"

1: "I guess it will be a long time before you'll eat another mushroom."

2: "You can say that again."

1: "I guess it will be a long time... [laughs]

3: "Don't worry about mushrooms anymore, I got a book that tells all about them."

1: "You do?"

3: "Huh huh. Yeah, and it's called, "'How to Tell A Mushroom From a Toadstool'" by the late Dr. Morton Kepstone."

1 & 2: "Late?"

3: "Late?"

"Anyone who says money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop."

"Wahine wiki huki luki nu, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart."

"That's beautiful. What's it mean?"

"It means this bar is off-limits to all military personnel."

George

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"I don't know how we're going to explain to our friends that we spent several years with people who aren't even in the social register."

"You call yourselves actors!?"

"I don't call myself an actor."

"If I say you're an actor you're an actor!"

"Ok! I'm an actor!"

"Believe me, you are NO actor!"

"I'm Secret Agent 36-24-36."

"Ahh, that no secret!"

1: "I guess it will be a long time before you'll eat another mushroom."

2: "You can say that again."

1: "I guess it will be a long time... [laughs]

3: "Don't worry about mushrooms anymore, I got a book that tells all about them."

1: "You do?"

3: "Huh huh. Yeah, and it's called, "'How to Tell A Mushroom From a Toadstool'" by the late Dr. Morton Kepstone."

1 & 2: "Late?"

3: "Late?"

"Anyone who says money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop."

"Wahine wiki huki luki nu, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart."

"That's beautiful. What's it mean?"

"It means this bar is off-limits to all military personnel."

George

I knew I'd heard the one about the bar somewhere.

This is from "Gilligan's Island."

Ginger Grant was Agent 36-24-36.

IIRC, the "actor" quotes are from Phil Silvers as Harold Hecuba, doing the musical of "Hamlet."

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That's it.

It's hard to find quotes from the show that don't give characters' names!

IIRC, it was Italian actor Vito Scotti who played the Japanese soldier replying to Ginger's "36-24-36" line

George

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"Do I look like a stupid man?"

"What?"

"Do I look like an idiot? Do I look like a moron? Do I look like a buffoon?"

"Hey, no-one's forcing you to go to SuperCuts."

"I can never do nothing!"

"We're gonna start with a different game tonight. It's called "Bombshells." In the suburbs, it's called "You might wanna sit down for this. It's a shocker." In the hood, it's called "Oh, no you didn't."

"At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom. "

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"Do I look like a stupid man?"

"What?"

"Do I look like an idiot? Do I look like a moron? Do I look like a buffoon?"

"Hey, no-one's forcing you to go to SuperCuts."

"I can never do nothing!"

"We're gonna start with a different game tonight. It's called "Bombshells." In the suburbs, it's called "You might wanna sit down for this. It's a shocker." In the hood, it's called "Oh, no you didn't."

"At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom. "

"From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!"

"So this is the first wedding you've ever planned?"

"Yeah, and you're wearing a white dress, so we both stretched the truth a little."

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nah, that humor's got George Lopez written all over it.

Yes it does, and it's your turn.

There are many good lines from that show. Odd how few of them are posted online.

I was looking for a few favorite but just couldn't find them.

It's had an impressive list of guest-stars, too.

Rita Moreno, Edward James Olmos, Lou Diamond Phillips, Adam West....

Sadly, the character of "Bennie" tends to ruin the show for me.

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"I can never do nothing!"

This is actually a running joke for the series.

"We're gonna start with a different game tonight. It's called "Bombshells." In the suburbs, it's called "You might wanna sit down for this. It's a shocker." In the hood, it's called "Oh, no you didn't."

I thought this sounded like him more than many quotes.

"At the factory, I deal with ex-cons, substance abusers, and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom. "

George Lopez runs the factory for Powers Brothers Aviation. And his Mom works there.

"From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!"

"So this is the first wedding you've ever planned?"

"Yeah, and you're wearing a white dress, so we both stretched the truth a little."

This is a pretty well-known episode. Angie was a wedding planner, and George claimed it was

an easy job. So he tried to plan the wedding of the next customer, a real bridezilla

played by Eva Longoria.

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"It's Bask-ice-ball, the greatest game ever. We invented it. It's awesome!"

"Wait, 'bask-ice-ball'? Shouldn't it be 'ice-ket-ball'?"

"Ice..ket..ball... That just sounds weird."

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