Sick kitty

[Psalm 71 one]

Maybe this should be in the prayer forum, but I have a whole lot of thoughts running through my head right now, that are more than just prayer requests--sorta thinking "outloud".

Our little kitty Ellie is sick. She's been throwing up since Tuesday night. She threw up a whole lot, Tuesday, then it seemed she was okay. I didn't run her to the vet at that time, because sometimes cats puke and then they're okay again. Wednesday she threw up a few more times, but it wasn't frequent, and to be honest, we were running around a lot that day and didn't really look at her too much for any other symptoms. But then last night, she seemed lethargic, she looked stiff when she walked--like something was more serious than I'd thought. That was when I sterted thinking back and realized she seemed to be throwing up soon after she drank water--and she hadn't eaten--and oh-oh--I hadn't seen her use the litter box in a long time (at least 24 hours) It was late, so I posted at the animal forum here in my area where I'd first posted about the sick little stray dog Mugsy, asking advice. I didn't really want to be running to the emergency vet unless i had to, or even to the vtes office today if it was something not that serious, but even in posting, realizing how long it had been since she'd used the litter box, I knew it probably WAS something serious and that she'd need to be seen. But was it really necessary to go last night or not? I got a few answers, most pretty much backing up what I was thinking-- see vet in morning. Which we did today.

Before we went, the four of us sat on the floor with her and prayed together. We all felt we understood from God she needed to go to the vet, but that it was because she was dying. (each of us thought that seperately before the others told what they thought they heard) We thought it would be ot take her to be put down, so she wouldn't suffer. We all cried together, then I called the vet, explaining the situation. I also told the receptionist that if it was an obstruction, (which is what was in my mind as what was wrong--God telling me or not?) that we wouldn't be able to afford surgery, so we figured they would have to put her down for us.

I know this sounds heartless, but surgery is expensive and there are other nice kittys around that need a family. I love Ellie, and would grieve a lot, and then would go get another-- knowing no new cat will take her place, but will take their own place in my heart. NO, I would not opt for no surgery if it were my human child, but for a furry child, our decisions definately take into account the financial cost.

At the vets' office, the vet found a piece of string or thread around her tongue, and going down her throat. She suggested they try cutting it first, to see if she would pass the thread, but that to really be sure exploratory surgery was what she recommends. She also understood we had said that wasn't necessarily an option financially. So we opted to have her cut it--she had to be sedated for that--they weren't real promising as to a good outcome. Thye said if we could get her to eat and pass stool, that would be a good sign, and recommended soft canned food. The next 48 hours will be telling. In hindsight--only today after taking her to the vet, I think she may have been sick as early as Monday, because she didn't hang out with us much that day--and didn't eat much, either. At the time we thought it was because she was mad at us because we'd cut back on the cats' food cuz they were getting fat-- and she was the one that always was at the food dish.

Tonight it's not looking promising. She can drink and not puke now, but she still walks stiffly and will not eat. I have made the food into a drinkable mush, even and she won't go near it.

I am in an emotional turmoil right now. Today was a cold gray day. I'm feeling the gray. On one hand, the logical thing is put her down peacefully, don't make her suffer, and there are plenty of greta cats in the shelters looking for families. And surgery is expensive. And this cat pees on the rugs. And we all heard in separate prayer that she was dying. And for the amount of money spent to do the surgery, she still could die.

But hse's my kitty and I love her. She's never been a real lovey type kitty, she's kinda dumb--and scares easily. But she and Zippie are great playmates and make us laugh when they play. And when she does her kinda dumb things, she's so cute we wanna pick her up and squeeze her. (cept she doesn't like to be held and loved on. Well, she actually does have a time when she wants to be lovey--at 4 am! ). But she's mine. When I bring a kitty--or any animal in my home, I am responsible for it, to feed it well, and take good care of it. And I expect to keep it til it dies--at a ripe old age. Our first pair of kitties accomodated me. They lived to 12 and 14 yrs old and died of things that were unfixable. And not having the money for surgery is relative--we had money to go out to eat last week.

So that makes us heartless to just let her go--or outright put her to sleep. And now I can't even post at the previous sight--I've seen the negative comments they make about people taking their animals to the shelter because they couldn't afford to take care of them--medically or otherwise. I know on that thread i posted they will want to know the outcome since i asked ofr advice, but I can't tell them we're not opting for the surgery. Yesterday's news is over-- yeah, I found Mugsy and made sure he got rescued before he went another night out in that cold, but today I'm not opting to give my own kittycat surgery. And (HORRORS!) I bred my two Maltese--never mind I screened the buyers, and stay in touch with them, and know the responsibility is on me if they ever can't keep the dog. Never mind that this year there really wasn't any other way we'd hvae had Christmas money for the boys without the sale of those pups (we don't do credit). People don't know me, really, and don't know how I dote on my animals. dang! I make clothes for my dogs and dress them! how dote-y is that? And made the collars for all 4 animals. But today I'm not going to spend the money on surgery for my kitty, so I'm now going to be judged heartless. "You wouldn't treat your human children like thet!" (I've seen that comment there) and, no I wouldn't--we'd loose our home first tahn to not treat our children if they needed surgery.

I'm rambling and I'm mad at the world as well as sad about my kitty, and I'm dumping here. I'm leaving my dyslexic typos, and know I look like a jerk to not take "proper" care of my kitty. And if i get too crucified, my life's blood doesn't depend on anybody's approval of me or what I do with my pets, but I'm still defensive right now. And greiving my kitty. and dumping on anyone who cares to read here. I guess I'm sorry--will be tomorrow anyway and will want to delete this whole thread.

[washingtonweather]

Salamie -- your kittie is in the best possible place to heal - with you-- I have had kitties come home in horrible condition---all the skin off one leg and dragging it home becasue it was broken...and many other silly sad predicaments -- time will be a good thing. You are a great caregiver! Kitty wants to live and we will all be praying for her.

[rascal]

(((((((((((psalmie))))))))))) what a heart breaking dilemna. I understand, there is never an easy answere when trying to figure out when to put one down.

Your kitty has been well loved and cared for. You need have no shame for not being able to afford a surgery that the cat might not survive. It seems to me that the only question is how long to keep her with you.

The nuts that post that crap that you spoke of, do not usually have children or families to care for. YOU know what a good pet owner you are.

My suggestion is to make these last few days (if indeed they are) as comfortable as you can for her. Let her know how special that she is. Tell her that you intend to see her again some day.

It has been my experience that she will let you know when it is time to go.

Edited January 19, 2007 by rascal

[WhiteDove]

Psalmie this is truly a heartbreaking situation, I have been right where you are and it is a hard decision. I think our pets expect us to do what we are able, no more no less. For many people especially those with service animals that generally live on disabilities it is a hopeless feeling. You will have to do what you feel is the best you can, all things considered. When my last dog was ill after a visit to the regional vet hospital they said they thought they could fix him, the cost $3,000.00. Because they thought they could restore him to a good life and another 3 to 5 years or so, I bit the bullet and paid it off over time. I have no regrets. Like many I have always felt that a pet in many ways is like a child, in that they depend on us to care for, protect, and feed them in return they give what they can, love. As I said it is a heart wrenching decision but in the end I had to ask myself was I living up to my end of the deal? I would recommend that you visit with your vet about quality of life left for your kitty that may help in your decision. One thing I took away from that day was that I never wanted to be in that situation again, and unless I made some changes I knew it would come around again. When I got my new friend I also took out pet insurance for him. It allows paying a small monthly cost so that I won’t face another choice like that again. It makes it easier to bear the cost in having a pet and caring for them. Enclosed is a article on some options you might look in to. I know you will do what you are able to do for your kitty, and that is all that they expect in the end.

Here

Edited January 19, 2007 by WhiteDove

[Zshot]

Psalmie,

I understand how important our four legged members of our family are.

You and your kitty are in my prayers.

[Dot Matrix]

What did the Vet say about oil? or cat lax?

We had a dog who ate gorilla glue and oil made it pass.

The strings are bad as the draw up like a ruffle.

But if you are at the end of options -- what about trying it and pray it passes. I do not know the oil they used, it may be just omega 3-6-9 IT caused runny poop but the giant glue wad came out.

[krys]

Psalmie stop feeling guilty - that's what those goons on the other site are trying to do to you.

You know what you can do and what you can't do. Love her as long as you can (and that oil sounds like a good idea, even if you have to squirt some in with an eyedropper - even olive oil ).

We'll all be happy for you if she comes out if this, and we'll grieve with you if she doesn't. You made the right decision according to what's right for your family! (((Psalmie)))

[Belle]

(((((Psalmie)))))

I couldn't say it any better than Krys did.

We'll all be happy for you if she comes out if this, and we'll grieve with you if she doesn't. You made the right decision according to what's right for your family!

Please let us know how you and Kitty are doing.

[Dot Matrix]

I pm'd her - yes an eye dropper. I think olive oil is not real great for cats,I know its not the best for dogs, but I fo know we sell Omegas (You can buy flax at the grocery - it is omega)

[Dot Matrix]

Krys is right olive oil is okay. Give a full fropper - we do not want her to vomit. Wait a bit and again, then another maybe hour and again

[Psalm 71 one]

Dot's suggestion of the oil confirmed a thought that crossed my mind last night. I didn't follow through at the time because she was spitting up the water she was drinking. But when I read it an hour ago, it confirmed the thought, and all I can think is in the midst of asking God for a miracle, He may have given me an answer. It can't hurt--her time's ticking. (My hubby has shut down emotionally concerning her, and would have taken her in this morning to be put down--as far as he's concerned, God told us the kitty was dying, so let's get this over with. I've begged for a full 48 hours from the appointment yesterday, and that will be tomorrow about 11 am. He's not going to give me till 11 am, I am sure-- he'll be packing her up in her crate as soon as he gets up.)

I do believe God told us--as His way of preparing us, but I am asking Him for a miracle-- a second chance. He'll either grant it or won't.

As to the other site, I haven't posted yet. I know enough that my self-esteem does not ride on whether those folks agree with what I do with my animals or not, but rejection still hurts and I'm trying to avoid it as long as possible.

As for Ellie, I've given her her first dose of the oil, so far she hasn't spit it up. She actually hasn't spit up since the wee hours of this morning. But she's also lethargic. She sometimes responds when we call her name and sometimes doesn't. She'll let us pet her, but doesn't purr. I couldn't sleep last night for awhile, so I loved on her and petted and rubbed her ears and gor some purring from her for a good half hour, but then she moved away. (She's never given me a half hour of purring, she's never been that kind of affectionate kitty--hates being held, lets us pet for a few minutes, purrs and then moves on) This is a hard day-- tomorrow will be harder if she doesn't pass anything tonight.

[Belle]

Praying fervently for that oil to work really, really quick, Psalmie and for good news from you soon.

[Psalm 71 one]

She's gone. :(

We took her to the vet and put her down this morning. I did the oil in a dropper--first one she kept down. I waited about 45 min, gave her a second--she kept it down. Hour later I gave her a third--she threw all of it up about 45 min later. And while she was retching, it looked so painful. I didn't give her any more. (that was late last night. This morning it looked like it hurt her just to walk, so we took her to the vet about 10am. The vet said she felt a lump in the intestines, and she was full of fluids, so she thought the string had already cut through and the junk was poisoning her. It was the right time. :( I held her while the vet gave the medicine and cried like a baby.

The vets office gave us a little bag with a sympathy card and a pretty candle in a jar--to burn in memory of her--that was sweet. (There was a poem that was like the Rainbow Bridge story) We buried her in our back yard by my garden. MY younger son, Ben and I are going to make a flat memorial stone for her--one of those stepping stone kits from the craft store. It's good closure--my hubby thinks its crazy, but it's good closure. And that is the area of my yard that this year, I'm going to plant a wildflower garden, and it's nice and sunny.

God is still good and wonderful and merciful. He didn't give us a miracle of healing for Ellie, and His ways are higher than mine. So while I don't understand why, I still know He is good!

Sorry I didn't let ya know sooner, but I couldn't type at that time.

[Shellon]

I'm sorry for your loss Psalm.

You did the absolute best you could do for your kitten, she was loved!

[VeganXTC]

Psalm,

Ellie must have been such a special cat. It sounds like she brought so much joy to everyone she came in contact with.

I love how you buried her at home, and all the things you're doing to remember her.

I'm so sorry she's gone, Psalm, but at the same time, thankful Ellie had a happy and loving life with you.

Peace and love to you, and your family.

[vickles]

Oh Psalmie, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I have been there myself and its not easy but remember that you gave your love to this kitty that most people would not have given. You gave this special kitty the love that it needed during life.

[Suda]

(((((Psalmie)))))

So sorry for your loss. You made the right decision. I'll be praying for you and your family.

Suda

[Kevlar2000]

(((Psalm))) - grieving with you.

[Psalm 71 one]

Thanks for the prayers and comfort. I miss her a lot today. :(

I don't have a digital camera, but discovered I have some pictures of her on my computer because I got a cd of some of my rolls of film. This was taken when she was about 8 months old, she got darker as she got older, but she was always such a pretty little thing.

[Shellon]

:)

[GarthP2000]

Sorry to hear about your loss of your cat, Psalmie. I know the feeling when my Donut passed on. Those furry lil' critters have a way of sneaking, meowing, and purring their way into our hearts and lives.

You have my sincere thoughts and regards.

[krys]

(((((Psalmie)))))

[Zshot]

((((((((PSALMIE))))))))))

I am truly sorry for your loss. I know how painful of a time this is for you and your family.

You and your family are in my prayers.

[Belle]

(((((Psalmie and family)))))

I'm so sorry, Psalmie. She's a beautiful kitty! Thank you for sharing her picture with us. I love the garden and stone memorial, too. Great closure, I agree. :)

[rascal]

(((((psalmie)))) I am sorry. The wildflower garden is a great idea.

My husband doesn`t get it either when I insist on burying my pets and planting a memorial garden or sunflower house.

Then again, it is usually a horse or large dog I am having to deal with. We have rock walls and gardens all over our yard in memory of our dear friends.