How to turn off your brain and become a TWIt...or

[T-Bone]

Gosh…Another Spot, NY Unknown, Listener…..I am awash in the magnanimous ineffable greatness of my own charisma extrapolated to the nth degree …You wonder what you should say to your people at a time like this. I'm gonna go with "keep those 2727-TWTBTBF forms coming in, folks!" May the Farce be with you.

…Oh and another thing, Another Spot – your previous experience and limited stature is definitely a plus…or minus however you want to look at it. I do have some mixed feelings over the prose of your post. While the heart behind your post tells me you've got TWTBTBF potential, the actual wording has me a little concerned – there's lots of big words in it [no diagrams, charts or pictures – your avatar doesn't count] you may actually be overqualified for the role of friendship. You must have finished high school – or what's the thing above that – did you do that too? Love your zeal – now if we can work on getting that IQ down to where it needs to be – then we can talk...or something...I dunno speak in gibberish... I am hopeful and do think if the Intelligence Adjustment Program is conducted in the true spirit of things [Drambui] you'll work out just fine.

Ya'll are too funny and gonna wear me out as my own silliness consumes me from within…ahhh…isn't freedom great! For this purpose - was I scared! But not anymore. Thanks all!!!!!!!!!!

Edited April 28, 2007 by T-Bone

[another spot]

"For this purpose - was I scared!"

[another spot]

"Born again of the wrong seat"

Dear T-Bone:

Concerning Keys to the Proper use of Drambui, ie how to rightly divide it, I submit the following chart.

1. Where it was used before

2. Context

3. To whom it was drank

4. Dang, were there 3 or 5? The numbing effects are already kicking in.

As far as what to say at a time like this, I suggest "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow."

From the Dark Side,

A. S.

[T-Bone]

...As far as what to say at a time like this, I suggest "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow."

Journal entry April 28, 2007: These new recruits are starting to scare me…I perceive an inkling of a rumor dipped in subterfuge…Are they after my ministry?...Should I up the requirements of my 2727-TWTBTBF form?...They appear to be going along with everything I say – but both Listener and Another Spot exhibit signs of…dare I say it? Real thinking – maybe even initiative and creativity…Or is that how Redundant Thinking comes out if you play it backwards…[note to self: play Strawberry Fields Forever backwards, listen for the “I buried Paul” part …addendum to note to self: figure out how to play my Beatles CD backwards]

[coolchef]

oh the weather outside is frightful

but the drambui is so delightful

so as long as you give me more

let it snow let it snow etc

[Bolshevik]

oh the weather outside is frightful

but the drambui is so delightful

so as long as you give me more

let it snow let it snow etc

[another spot]

The pumps are shining brightly

Now don’t you take it lightly

I’m the best in centuries

Bring the dough, bring the dough, all your dough.

I dunno, T-Bone. My confidence is shaken. I listened to how you took off hair on fire, eyes wild, and dirty beard on your skateboard. After which, you gave an old lady a band aid with your withered arm. You called it a miracle, even though she beat you with her umbrella while screaming, “I don’t believe in your class!” Sounds a little far-fetched.

And as for the man who wanted the pink drapes, well….what can I say.

[T-Bone]

oh the weather outside is frightful

but the drambui is so delightful

so as long as you give me more

let it snow let it snow etc

I like that – need to start a Cultmas thread – but wait until Ho Ho season of course.

The pumps are shining brightly

Now don't you take it lightly

I'm the best in centuries

Bring the dough, bring the dough, all your dough.

I dunno, T-Bone. My confidence is shaken. I listened to how you took off hair on fire, eyes wild, and dirty beard on your skateboard. After which, you gave an old lady a band aid with your withered arm. You called it a miracle, even though she beat you with her umbrella while screaming, "I don't believe in your class!" Sounds a little far-fetched.

And as for the man who wanted the pink drapes, well….what can I say.

…And to all you fate-blasters out there, you’re not gonna have T-Bone to kick around anymore – oops scratch that – wrong speech…You need to look at the rumors behind the gossip behind the truth about cats and dogs behind door number 2.

Edited April 28, 2007 by T-Bone

[another spot]

Well, chin up T-bone, I did like the part about 4 simplified.

From the Dark Side,

A. S.

[year2027]

God first

Beloved T-Bone

God loves you my dear friend

I been looking at this off and on but today I had to know if you had any answers to

1. How to turn your brain back on after twi?

2. How to reset your brain back on after twi?

I am sure some would like to hit the reset buttom on their brains

just adding a little fun to a great subject thanks

thank you

with love and a holy kiss blowing your way Roy

[another spot]

n looking at this off and on but today I had to know if you had any answers to

1. How to turn your brain back on after twi?

2. How to reset your brain back on after twi?

I am sure some would like to hit the reset buttom on their brains

just adding a little fun to a great subject thanks

thank you

with love and a holy kiss blowing your way Roy

Dearest Roy: My preacher has been talking a lot about how God comes looking for ya. If you want to be found, He will find you. It will be OK. Don't worry about your brain. It will be OK too.

[T-Bone]

...I been looking at this off and on but today I had to know if you had any answers to

1. How to turn your brain back on after twi?

2. How to reset your brain back on after twi?...

Thinking about the way that everyone has been carrying on here…I think that comes naturally to folks at GSC...the freedom to think, express yourself and have fun…I really do love this place…great bunch of folks…God bless you, Roy.

[year2027]

God first

Beloved another spot and T-Bone

God loves you my dear friends

another spot - do not worry God has found me a long time ago - thanks I will not worry about my brain any more

T Bone - yes "the freedom to think, express yourself and have fun" God bless you too

thank you

with love and a holy kiss blowing your way Roy

[Listener]

Open letter to T-Bone, the only fee-gotten son of the most high Gourd, the founder and president of the Why Mimickery, Intl.,

Dear Bone,

Greetings in the howly name of Gourd.

Having been a mender of the Why Mimickery for several days now, and I just wanted to write to you to say....uhhh....duhh....the Weird of Gourd is sooo fine.

All of your teachings have impacted my life most wonderingfully. Such realities as the Four Simplified, Gourd in Cripes and You, Believing is Reciepting, the power of Redundant Shearing, and my favorite of all, the Pastover Lamp, have taken on whole new meanderings. Oh, the glorious revelations you have shown me from the Weird of Gourd!!! The wierds escape me, my teacher, to espress myself.

In my community I am becomming known as a wholly man and a frequent discerner of BUTTs. (Bad Unseen Terestrial Things). I can now walk down our city streets and discern BUTTs of all kinds...big BUTTs, small BUTTS, even General BUTTs (the scary ones). Many of my friends have asked me to teach them the techniques of this Gourdly discernment. Of course, as instructed, I told them not to tamper with BUTTs, and that the best policy is to not touch that subject. They argued, but understood. Praise Gourd for small miraculousnesses. I promoted the class and advised them to seek your friendship, the master of BUTTs of our day and time...no BUTT is too big for you to handle...spurtually, of course.

I look forward to someday entering the Corpse Program and learning how to fully debase myself, reprove and correct myself, most importantly, to humiliate and embarass myself in my own presence. The principles of the Why Corpse I have read about are just what I need in my life. Never sleeping or eating is my biggest need, as this, of course, permits me to give ALL my income to the Mimickery. I yearn to understand the Mistery of the Bread Thread, the depth of the Book of Rebelations, not to mention doing All Nine At the Time.

I'll close by saying "Praise Gourd and pass the beans"! (I love your enduring truthisms) I continue to study to show myself reproved before Gourd, a workmen who needs be ashamed. And at the risk of sounding preposterous, I feel I am truly becoming "Bone-headed". What a thrill!!!

Thank you,

Your Bone-headed disciple,

Listener

(the Farce made me do it!!!)

[Bolshevik]

:confused:

[T-Bone]

...Open letter to T-Bone, the only fee-gotten son of the most high Gourd, the founder and president of the Why Mimickery, Intl.,

Dear Bone,

Greetings in the howly name of Gourd.

Having been a mender of the Why Mimickery for several days now, and I just wanted to write to you to say....uhhh....duhh....the Weird of Gourd is sooo fine.

All of your teachings have impacted my life most wonderingfully. Such realities as the Four Simplified, Gourd in Cripes and You, Believing is Reciepting, the power of Redundant Shearing, and my favorite of all, the Pastover Lamp, have taken on whole new meanderings. Oh, the glorious revelations you have shown me from the Weird of Gourd!!! The wierds escape me, my teacher, to espress myself...

Kunta Kinte, I’ve found you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Listener, you are definitely out of your Gourd and obviously a kindred spirit – I love it, love it, love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[templelady]

Be it made effective immediately

All Twits must avoid as much as possinble any secular news media such as TV, radio, Newspapers,etc. T-Bone will tell you about such items as he feel necessary for you to know about along with the correct explanation of what those items "REally " mean..

Contact with those who ae not interested in submitting to the will of our beloved T-bone is to cease immediately.

Failure to adhere faithfully to the above will allow free thinking to begin to creep into your brain. It has been shown that once free thinking gains a foothold it expands exponentially taking over more and more of the brains thought and reasoning processes.

Allowed to go unchecked this free thinking will result in your brain trying to compare what you believe with others beliefs as well as comparing the golden truths as exponded by our beloved T-Bone with Forthright Actions,Comments, and Truths.

This horrendous state of affairs has been shown to infect those who remove themselves form the wise precepts of T-bone almost immediately; resulting in complete turning away from our most holy of organizations in a matter of months as exemplified by former Twits who even as I "speak" are freely reading whatever they want,talking to whomever they want, and attending whatever religious services,if any,they so desire.

As Frank Burns heroic doctor and esteemed military leader of the 4077 M.A.S.H. once said " it's all right if we are individuals as long as we are individuals in the same way!"

[T-Bone]

Holy crap, people! You've got me believing this stuff!...I'm overwhelmed. I've gotta get organized. I'm gonna need Blue Forms…lots of Blue Forms…Temple Lady get me Blue Forms – stat! Listener – you're driving my bus. Another Spot…you need to get me a bus. NY Unknown - pending approval of your 2727-TWTBTBF form you'll be in charge of the Bathroom on the bus.

Edited April 30, 2007 by T-Bone

[polar bear]

Can I be in charge of Way Reproductions?.

I'll keep playing the same song over and over, till a comotose level is induced.

[another spot]

Same music, different notes.

[T-Bone]

Polar Bear, work with Another Spot on finding me a bus with an 8 Track Tape Player - and see Temple Lady for a 2727-TWTBTBF form.

Edited April 30, 2007 by T-Bone

[another spot]

Keys to the undone mind.

Mix the following ingredients with a mathematical aggressiveness and scientific incision:

1. Focus on redundant thoughts and repeat out loud with no regard to the things spoken. (Best done privately….)

2. Generalize, never analyze.

3. Use limited and different vocabulary from the rest of the world.

Cook slowly so that it comes out perfectly half baked.

Dr. T, Re the bus project: On hold due to lack of funding. Perhaps a Sock of All Ages would be a good fund raiser. In the meantime, I am sending new wheels for your skateboard and some more Band-Aids.

From the Dark Side,

A. S.

[T-Bone]

Keys to the undone mind.

Mix the following ingredients with a mathematical aggressiveness and scientific incision:

1. Focus on redundant thoughts and repeat out loud with no regard to the things spoken. (Best done privately….)

2. Generalize, never analyze.

3. Use limited and different vocabulary from the rest of the world.

Cook slowly so that it comes out perfectly half baked...

.

Love that – truly worthy of plagiarizing!

...Dr. T, Re the bus project: On hold due to lack of funding. Perhaps a Sock of All Ages would be a good fund raiser. In the meantime, I am sending new wheels for your skateboard and some more Band-Aids.

.

Temple Lady - - more Blue Forms!!!!!!! We need to get them out to our people immediately!...uhm…do we have any people?

Edited April 30, 2007 by T-Bone

[another spot]

Dr. T:

I am reading your new book, Long Lines, and encountered (excuse me, found) this gem:

“All the goats in the kingdom belong to the king, which means that since the O. T. is for our spurning,

I intend to acquire all the goats and share my 8-track tapes with them, and perhaps a few sheep as well,

in the event the goats prove stubborn.”

Now I understand your need for a bus.

From the Dark Side,

A. S.

[templelady]

t-Bone

Clerk 25 has assured me that as soon as he can get off the viewing platform, by sneaking past Mary in the Steve Irwin Celelestial Croc Center, he will return to his office and forward the necessary forms to you.

Edited April 30, 2007 by templelady