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Being on-call and other misadventures


T-Bone
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A recent complaint at the Cable Leader Company:

“This is the second time you guys sent the wrong cable.
I ordered 4,000 feet of Cat6 and you sent us Cat5.” 

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with a pair of these Audio/Video Juxtapositionizers inserted under your eyelids you'll be able to SEE the sounds of silence.

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Edited by T-Bone
have you heard how dark it is outside?
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the  new  sheriff  was  apprehensive about

                                                 the town's  policy on  profiling

blazing-saddles-images-1.jpg

Edited by T-Bone
I said the editor is a neophyte
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11 hours ago, Nathan_Jr said:

"Where da white women at?"

(Mel Brooks is a genius. If he made Blazing Saddles today, he'd be cancelled.)

It is interesting how what’s acceptable as targets for comedy changes – and of course that depends on the ambience of the various social groups – comedy writers must know their target audience. Comedy - like beauty - is in the mind of the beholder…take for instance South Park. The artwork is always disturbing to me – oversimplified ... edgy – like a half-a$$ed attempt to draw a cartoon in your friend’s textbook during class …so it’s disturbing but funny. I like that in comedy. My favorite character is Cartman – probably because he reminds me of some of the   best   a$$holes   I’ve ever met - which oddly enough was during my way corps training…now there’s a name for my pain – Cartman! :biglaugh:

Edited by T-Bone
oh no they killed Kenny
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8 hours ago, T-Bone said:

It is interesting how what’s acceptable as targets for comedy changes – and of course that depends on the ambience of the various social groups – comedy writers must know their target audience. Comedy - like beauty - is in the mind of the beholder…take for instance South Park. The artwork is always disturbing to me – oversimplified ... edgy – like a half-a$$ed attempt to draw a cartoon in your friend’s textbook during class …so it’s disturbing but funny. I like that in comedy. My favorite character is Cartman – probably because he reminds me of some of the   best   a$$holes   I’ve ever met - which oddly enough was during my way corps training…now there’s a name for my pain – Cartman! :biglaugh:

Yep.

Mel Brooks’ main target in Blazing Saddles is bigotry/racism; a perennial target in American comedy going back at least to Mark Twain.

Comedy is a courageous window to truth, an unflinching mirror to ourselves. It seems to me the best comedy is only concerned with these things - concessions to the audience risk indenturing the comic to whoredom. The audience will get it, or not. (See Norm Macdonald.)

When Dave Chappelle was in the midst of defending a cancel attack last year, he was unrelenting and said Americans’ "ears had become brittle.” Some consider him the GOAT. 

Edited by Nathan_Jr
Johnny Jumpup, Snowball Pete, Maggie Muggins and a music coordinator walk into a bar...
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I’m a smart shopper. I like to read the ingredients label on everything I buy.

Most folks don’t do that – guess that’s why I get a lot of stares from people whenever I go shopping. 

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Awfuldontics is a recent branch off of orthodontics – with a desire to give patients what they want awfuldontists have separated from mainstream dentistry specialties of treating teeth and jaw irregularities – and have moved in a different direction.  Their latest project is an asymmetrical sub-dental percolator – the Awful-Fang-Brew.

The Awful-Fang-Brew is a state-of-the-art-itty-bitty percolator that consists of a tiny ground beans chamber threaded into a boiling “bolt” - and it's all hidden under a tooth facsimile. The unit is powered by a discreetly mounted solar panel on the back of your head. 

You don’t need a cup holder – and no more spilled coffee cups. Now, the word for fresh coffee is right on the tip of your tongue.

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Vizzini: Would it be too much for you guys to warn me about the horse$hit on the trail?

Inigo: Well mister smarty-pants why do you think they call this a horse trail?

Fezzik: Don’t use that knife at dinner after scraping your boot. 
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Does your dog food stink?

Try  Ahmoan-I-Yeah the proven pest repellent with the nitrogen and hydrogen that dogs crave.

 

The veterinary general advises that Ahmoan-I-Yeah can be very harmful to your dog’s health because it irritates the skin, eyes, and nasal passages. It may also burn their throat or lungs if they inhale it. A dog will usually show symptoms of poisoning within minutes after contact with high levels of Ahmoan-I-Yeah. If the symptoms persist after every feeding call our hotline for recommendations 1-80o-DUM-foot$

baby-skunk-eating-dog-food-dog-not-happy

 

Edited by T-Bone
This post stinks! Thus spake Pepe Le Pew
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