A small, thin book that will fit inside your Bible so people don't know you're not really reading along.
A cushion to sit on and a colostomy bag for your 3 hour wait to be able to sit on the front row right in front of the teachers.
Your Way-speak translator so you know what the real message is this year. (Hint: it's going to be give more money, witness to more people, sign up to do more in the household)
Steve, I like the eyeball idea. I wonder what they would do if everyone in the room put a pair on just as the chief speaker walked up to the podium.
One thing though.. I would omit the delysid from the list- bad idea. Besides being slightly illegal, Forty year old acid may not be up to the task that it once was. Besides, if it was, who would want to subject the audience to the same kind of rantings that some of us grew accustomed to?
A discman with discreet looking headphones for when Way Productions start up (or actually they could be used during any presentation or teaching for that matter).
You could sit there with this serene 'blessed' face all the while listening to your favourite tunes. You know, the ones with real music and real emotion. :P-->
A white cane AND a hearing aid. You could pretend that you were both blind and deaf. Doubtless one of the biggies would confront you, screaming, "what do we have to do to get through to you?"
Bagels, peanut butter & honey or marshmallow fluff, bread, chips, salsa, vodka and canned sardines to go with the Spam Mr. H suggested.
Set up a mini-cafe & bar in your room and you could make a bundle of $$ to pay for the really good food (not!) in the hotel restaurant. Add a super secret smoking section where everyone is completely anonymous with no way of being discovered & you'll certainly be rolling in the dough!
Bring a cardboard cutout with your picture attached to the face, place it in your assigned seat. With the current level of in-depth spiritual perception and awareness, they would not notice it until you failed to stand with the rest of the crowd when Mr/Ms wonderful approached the podium.
Yep. I can almost hear it.. "you recalcitrant b*@#^&!, how dare you infect the true household with your..." etc. etc. Sorry, I forgot Martinpuke was gone.
Wouldn't suprise me. One last suggestion: go to Krogers, buy one of those precooked chickens or a cornish hen. Open it in the hotel room, enjoy your portable "thanksgiving meal."
The real key is to bring along a pal that will skip the classes with you and will be your study partner, or whatever they called them. That really was the only reason to attend the teachings the last time I was there... just so I could have something to say at the "release session". I don't remember what it was called, but something like that.
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Steve!
Those glasses with eyeballs painted on them, so everyone thinks you're still awake . . .
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Belle
A small, thin book that will fit inside your Bible so people don't know you're not really reading along.
A cushion to sit on and a colostomy bag for your 3 hour wait to be able to sit on the front row right in front of the teachers.
Your Way-speak translator so you know what the real message is this year. (Hint: it's going to be give more money, witness to more people, sign up to do more in the household)
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JustThinking
I would add:
A parka for the ladies when the temp hits 50F
Wax smiley lips for when yours start to get sore
A tape recorder for submission to the Comedy Channel
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Steve!
Now that martinpuke isn't involved, TWIts no longer need to bring face shields and raincoats to protect from the flying spittle.
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JustThinking
True. At least he was entertaining. The crew he left behind were a real snooze. Maybe we should recommend No-Doze?
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Nottawayfer
hahahahahahahah!!!!!
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JustThinking
It seems as if an iPod and a few brews would do the trick.
Oh, and a copy of "How to Escape an Evil Cult For Dummies."
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Oakspear
Just don't bring your critical thinking skills
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JustThinking
Oak,
The thing they're looking for is thinking critical skills.
JT
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Ham
Steve, I like the eyeball idea. I wonder what they would do if everyone in the room put a pair on just as the chief speaker walked up to the podium.
One thing though.. I would omit the delysid from the list- bad idea. Besides being slightly illegal, Forty year old acid may not be up to the task that it once was. Besides, if it was, who would want to subject the audience to the same kind of rantings that some of us grew accustomed to?
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A la prochaine
A discman with discreet looking headphones for when Way Productions start up (or actually they could be used during any presentation or teaching for that matter).
You could sit there with this serene 'blessed' face all the while listening to your favourite tunes. You know, the ones with real music and real emotion.
:P-->
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Ham
A white cane AND a hearing aid. You could pretend that you were both blind and deaf. Doubtless one of the biggies would confront you, screaming, "what do we have to do to get through to you?"
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A la prochaine
Mr. Ham,
Or even better the mindless leader would ask you, "Where was your believing?"
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Belle
Bagels, peanut butter & honey or marshmallow fluff, bread, chips, salsa, vodka and canned sardines to go with the Spam Mr. H suggested.
Set up a mini-cafe & bar in your room and you could make a bundle of $$ to pay for the really good food (not!) in the hotel restaurant. Add a super secret smoking section where everyone is completely anonymous with no way of being discovered & you'll certainly be rolling in the dough!
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Ham
Bring a cardboard cutout with your picture attached to the face, place it in your assigned seat. With the current level of in-depth spiritual perception and awareness, they would not notice it until you failed to stand with the rest of the crowd when Mr/Ms wonderful approached the podium.
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Ham
Alternatively, you could bring use one of those kinky blow up persons. They would never notice..
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Ham
The chief speaker would be livid. "Why are you not standing with everyone else?" "Hey, I think I recognize you. Didn't we meet a couple nights ago?"
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Steve!
And the chief speaker would shout at that blow-up person for at least 10 minutes, and get madder and madder at the lack of response.
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Ham
Yep. I can almost hear it.. "you recalcitrant b*@#^&!, how dare you infect the true household with your..." etc. etc. Sorry, I forgot Martinpuke was gone.
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Ham
But I could be wrong. I am sure that the BOT has their "to bring" list too. Must always include one or Martinpukes trained spittle and curse throwers.
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Ham
Like Saul and the Witch of Endor, they probably keep one curse and spittle thrower in case they ever need one..
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Belle
Didn't martinpuke used to take 4 or 5 days to drive to TX so he could stop along the way for some pre-arranged mini-diversions?
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Ham
Wouldn't suprise me. One last suggestion: go to Krogers, buy one of those precooked chickens or a cornish hen. Open it in the hotel room, enjoy your portable "thanksgiving meal."
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lindyhopper
The real key is to bring along a pal that will skip the classes with you and will be your study partner, or whatever they called them. That really was the only reason to attend the teachings the last time I was there... just so I could have something to say at the "release session". I don't remember what it was called, but something like that.
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