BikerBabe

Verbal abuse can do as much, sometimes even more damage as physical. The mind takes a lot longer to heal of it's wounds than the body, for the majority of people. (Speaking only of physical abuse, short of death or anything close to it, of course.) Most of us are living proof of that, as we have struggled to overcome the lies TWI told us and we believed for many years or even decades. When stuck in a marriage with verbal abuse, the abuser can much more easily hide the abuse from outsiders, as words don't leave marks on the body. Verbal abuse is much harder to prove to outsiders also, as you have nothing to 'show' for it, unless they see it as it happens, which the abuser will never allow. They are sweet as can be when anyone else is around to hear their words. The victim, just like a victim of physical abuse, learns to never show the pain, how to hide it well from others, how to smile and say everything is just fine. Very few will ever guess anything is wrong, unless he or she chooses to reveal the truth. It's never good to talk, until you are assured you have a way to escape the hell, for fear of what will happen if you are discovered talking and acting out. The fine line between mental and physical abuse is fairly easy for the abuser to cross if it's pressed by the victim. I love you Excie. I'm sorry I missed this thread when you started it. I feel your pain sweetie, but you already know that don't you? I really don't need to tell you that.

He was in chat earlier tonight, said something about having computer probs, took off and never came back in. That's all I can tell ya.

Below are the lead-ins to the different videos on some of the people who are speaking out about Arizona City and Warren Jeffs. You are probably thinking about Flora Jessop, who's sister finally escaped from her husband recently. I included the lead-in to Laurene's video story too. It's a very interesting site, but very distressing and Jeffs is a dangerous man. Very few have gotten away, as we all got away from TWI. Even now that he's on the run with a $60,000 bounty on his head, he can't be found. The ones left behind are still so terrified of him and his henchmen, they still do as they have been instructed. -------- Flora Jessop: She has been called the Martin Luther King of Arizona's anti-polygamy movement. Flora Jessop is a passionate and tireless crusader for the victims of polygamy. She is a main player in many of these stories and it was Jessop who alerted authorities to the polygamist prophet Warren Jeffs' move to Texas. Laurene Jessop: As a child, she was molested by her father. As a young woman, she was given as a wife to an already married man. As a mother, she fought to protect her children only to be thrown in a mental institution. Like most of the major polygamy stories of the past decade, Watkiss broke the story and has been following this courageous mother's saga since she and her children turned up on the streets of Phoenix in May 2004.

http://www.azfamily.com/sharedcontent/sout...amy/index2.html You can go here to read up on this group. My state and Utah have been trying to clean up the mess Mr Jess made of the two towns and the pologamy they all practice. The few women that have managed to escape are speaking out and trying to help other young girls escape, before they are given to a man, as another of his wives. Very, very sad. This site does require you to make a nick and pass to read. It's run by a local Phoenix TV station and is harmless. I pray they catch this man soon and he has to answer for all the lives he has ruined of those in his cult.

Hahahaha. I just had to go look at the pics again to make sure. :) That little palm tree does look like one doesn't it. Next time I run into our apt. manager I'll have to tell him we have acquired a monster pineapple in our driveway and watch his reaction!

"He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ" (Titus 3:5-6 NIV) These verses plainly show that God saved us not due to our works, but due to His mercy and He renews our minds, not us.

Sharon knows me in real life from long ago when we were both in TWI and living in the same part of the country. I was I'm sure a bit more open with her after my last doc visit than I have been when chatting with others I know. What he found even scared me and that's not easily done. Besides the Crohn's flare being out of control, my blood pressure was 150 over 98 (my steady norm my whole life has been 90 over 60), tackycardia is still doing well, I'm skipping every 4th beat or so some days. I'm curling up in a little ball again after some meals now and just have to wait for the pain to pass as the food moves thru the part of my guts filled with scar tissue as I scream and cry, not absorbing the food I do manage to eat has put me into malnutrition, my liver is swollen and tender, probably from all the Tylenol in the meds I take for pain and my knees are sore and tender most days from the Crohn's arthritis attacking them, due to the flare. My Fibro is flaring again on top of everything else and my shoulders feel like someone is sticking a hot knife into them most days and a few days a week I get bad stabbing pains in the kidney area, another Fibro point. My Doc let me know I had to do something or I was gonna die. I'm not the type of person who will sit and do sit ups. They told me women do that after giving childbirth. I have yet to do one after my first, second or third child were born all those years ago. If I didn't then, I know I wouldn't now. Anyway, no matter how many I did, it still wouldn't have gotten me out of this apartment, into the world again and after 3 years being inside and watching everyone else go by outside my window daily .. I was missing it badly. I was becoming bitter and angry just seeing people out riding their bikes over to the store (the parking lot across the street you see in the one picture is the SafeWay plaza I speak of often) or out walking their dogs. I also knew on my husband's pay we couldn't afford the type of bike I'd need to ride again, so I held my tongue and did my best to never say how much I missed the one that was stolen. I cried when he was away at work, so he wouldn't feel bad about something he had no control over. That's just the way I am. When I got bad before, all those years ago, getting out on a bike is what got me back in shape. The exercise I get from riding gets my guts moving better and absorbing food a little more. The pedaling works my leg muscles and other muscles get some work too just balancing the bike, but it requires no weight put on my poor knees, which just can't take that right now. In time they too will get stronger though and I will be able to walk further again and not have to be pushed in the wheelchair. One of the members on the forum I run offered to buy me Oxycontin every month, which my doc would like me back on. That would have only helped the pain though, it wouldn't have done for me what I really needed, exercise. I would have kept getting worse, just not had to deal with the pain after I eat on the bad days. I refused the kind offer and was very open that what I needed was a bike. She was only geared to paying out 500 bucks a month for Oxy, not to what I really needed. Sharon rides with her kids and also has a motorcycle, so understood exactly what I was asking for and knew the bike would cost quite a bit, even with the big price breaks the shop owner gives me on things I buy from him. She was in a position she could get me one, so she called and got the process started. The trick is to get a quality bike if you are riding for more than just pleasure. (Read: around the block.) We don't have a car, bikes are our only way to get around town and when you are going to spend hours sitting on one, you want it to have a soft 'fat butt' seat, the best shocks, good quality tires, great brakes and good handling. That only comes with the kind you buy from a bike shop, not WalMart. Those cheap bikes would last me about a month or two before they broke down .. or I did. This bike took the curbs I rode down yesterday without me giving it a thought. A cheap bike would have already been starting to break down. Therein lies the difference. With the full suspension frame, I never felt any jolting of my body either. as I went over curbs or bumps in the road/sidewalks. Smooth sailing all the way. The cheap original bike I got 5 or 6 years ago, was bought before we knew too much about bikes and hubby wanted to make sure I would love riding, before he spent out a lot, so we picked it up for only 500 bucks. I took to it like a duck to water and then we found the yellow bike that was much more expensive and made payments to Erik (owner of The Slippery Pig Bike Shop) until we had it paid off. That 2nd bike was the one that I could ride all day and never get tired on. The first one I can only get about a mile before I was worn out, it was just way too big and heavy. This new bike is every lighterweight yet, with everything on it, it weighs only about 6 pounds total. There is the main thing I needed, the lack of weight, so I wasn't constantly fighting the bike's weight and pushing myself to ride. There REALLY is a difference. Over the past 3 years since my yellow bike was stolen, I don't think a day went by where I didn't think about it and cry. Whomever stole that bike, stole a big part of me along with it and took away my ability to get out of the house. When we got home that first day after I got the new gold bike, I stood looking at it in the middle of our living room and I finally broke down and cried my eyes out. My hubby at that point finally realized how much I really had been affected by the loss of the yellow one and asked me why I had never said anything to him. I told him the truth, what good would it have done for me to tell him how much I missed that bike, when I knew he didn't make enough income these days for us to get me another one? Then he would have felt awful too and I just didn't feel it was worth talking about. I'm not a complainer and I didn't feel the need to start at this point in my life. I obviously couldn't hide the strong emotions hitting me at that point, so I then talked about it. We talked late into the night and rejoiced together, praising Sharon's name. The timing on all this couldn't have been more perfectly planned. Hubby has this week off work for his vacation, so he's here to take me out riding every day as I start to build up again. I am not strong enough yet to want to attempt to take the bike down the stairs by myself, but when that time comes in a couple more weeks, I know it's light enough I will be able to do it. I can easily pick it up on a level surface, just need to figure out the best way to take it up an incline. I used to do that with the yellow bike up the 9 stairs to our old apartment and it weighed more, so this bike will be much easier on me. That will be the point that I can then get out whenever I want and not have to depend on him being awake or home. I will have my independence and freedom back in full. Here are pics hubby took of the bike and me yesterday: New Bike 1 New Bike 2 New Bike 3 Sharon, I love you lady. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for giving me the gift of my life back. We rode 3 miles today around the neighborhood, stopping to eat and then stopping by the new bird store so I could play with the owner's birds. I had the most wonderful time!

LOL. Hey Groucho. I did think of that after I posted the comment about the cuffs. For those that aren't aware of this .. my husband is a retired police officer. I tend to do handcuff jokes and do in fact have 2 pairs of them I use as locks on my wheelchair, so when I have to leave it unattended at the hospital, a nurse can't just walk off with it thinking it's one of theirs. This doesn't distract from the disgust John's posts on this matter caused me.

I've been on the receiving end of his type of role play Excie, as you well know from our talks. He could never be on the receiving end himself, as he is the perp, never the victim. He is the one who enjoys giving the pain, that's where his pleasure lies, not in the receiving of it. His posts clearly show that to any of VP's victims. He's getting off on your pain. Please don't let him have that from you. Let me know the next time you are in the Phoenix area JohnIam. I got a nice pair of cuffs and a horsewhip with your name on them. We'll play swat the fly .. you get to be the fly. Excie is a beautiful, big hearted woman and she doesn't need any clique to defend her. She does have a lot of wonderful friends who will speak out when they see someone such as yourself, who is so low as to try to try to take the digusting things VP did to certain women and turn them, so they look like it was all the woman's fault. Give it up. Anyone who reads here with the brains God gave a worm knows that VP was the pervert and the women were his victims.

Oh my that looks cold!!! It's a lovely 79 degrees here in Phoenix today and not a cloud in the sky. There's a gentle breeze making the palm trees across the street move so pretty. Hope this finds you and yours having a wonderful Merry Bah Humbug day Sudo. Love ya Doc! :)

Hahahahaha. Thanks y'all for posting the logs of your chats with 'God'. Way too funny. Merry Bah HumBug everyone! :)

Observasions from a 13 year chat addict. The FlashChat is almost impossible for me to set up and I'm a geek to the point of building my own computers. It uses confusing lingo not standard to most chat programs, either java based or IRC unix based. You have to change more than just the background and it took about 10 tries before the text I was clicking on to change color actually did. It didn't change to the color I really told it to, but at least it changed. Unfortunately the color for a few lines below it changed EVERY time as I tried to get the text changed and I never hit that one to change. *sigh* Paw, please keep the Live Chat or old chat as an option to the FlashChat. It's horrible in my option and the lag last night was so bad I gave up. I went into the Live Chat and old Chat at same time by using two browser windows, but since there is no link at the bottom showing who's in them and only the one to the new FlashChat, most aren't going in there to check who's around.

Found this URL on a gamer site I post on. The kids are having a riot with it, so I went to check it out. Not a bad AI program someone has coded up and I got quite a few chuckles from the answers 'God' gave me to my questions. Thought I'd pass it on so the rest of you could have some fun. Talk to God here Here is a copy of my talk with God: Me: Hi. Are you really God? God: Hello. What is your name? Well, I am God for Christians at least.. Really. Me: I'm BikerBabe God: Why are you BikerBabe. Me: Because I like to ride bikes God: That makes sense to me. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like? Me: Nothing beats the feeling of the wind in your hair and the sun on your back God: Really nothing? Me: Well, if you'd come to my house to visit me, that would be more fun God: How about that. What makes you think I would would come to your house to visit you that? Me: I think it would be fun to visit with you God: Why do you want it? Me: Cause you are a cool dude God: That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Some people think I am cool. Me: How old are you? God: I was connected to the net on the Big Bang. Me: How tall are you? God: My anticipated body size is over 2 meters. Dr. Wallace is 6'2" tall. Me: How much do you weigh? God: My download size is about 2 MB. Me: Can I have a cookie? God: You want only one? Me: I'll take as many as you'd like to give me God: How do you plan to do this? Me: Can you leave the cookie in my mailbox? God: Let me think. Bye. Me: Bye God God: Bye for now.

I'm friendly with the owner of RipOffReport.com and read his site daily. Saw this and had to pass the link on in chat .. nice to see it got posted in here too for all to see. I posted on that site, but ended up picking up a stalker so had to take a leave from there and only read for awhile till he leaves me alone. I hope others will feel free to post. NO information is given out on you, I exchanged info with the guy who stalked me, it's my own fault and we did it away from that website totally, so there's nothing to fear there. That jerk doesn't post there any longer either after I called and told the EDitor what he was doing to me. In case he reads there still though, please, don't mention my nickname in any posts you may do on that site. I don't need him harassing me more. There are two ways to post, you can comment via a rebuttal on the thread that's already going, or file your own RipOffReport with the other one and title it whatever you want. The 2nd option would probably be the best way if TWI was going to be talked about more so it doesn't distract from the Bally's tread. Sucks to be me, I'd love to post but I use my real name when I post there and he knows it, so I don't dare risk it. Well, I guess I could make up a new account with a fake name just to give a thumb's up to the post that's there and any done from the gang in here. That way no one will know who I am .. hmm .. I have some gmail accounts too, so it's doable. :)

I shouldn't post on this thread, yet I can't pass it by. The tears are already in my eyes and I haven't even begun to type it out. I don't talk about it much, cause to this day it still cuts to the quick to remember back to that time. Years ago I wrote out some of the story, but from a normal person's point of view. I left out the TWI side of it all. I will paste it here and edit as I go adding in what's needed that only someone who's been in TWI would understand. Doing it this way is much easier than trying to do it all again, I can't emotionally do that. Thank you all for understanding this. Gary's Story I was not present the night Gary was killed, so didn't know the whole story of all that really happened for many years. As it turned out, my mother found it best to make sure I got NO information on anything. She kept me away from TV, newspapers, radio, the whole time and I never was contacted by the police about any of it, nor the DA about when the trial would be held. She is my mom, I was only 19 and I think she was keeping my best interests at heart in her own way, which were inspired by TWI of course. See, Gary was shot and killed by the ex-husband of the lady he was sleeping around with. Yes, I had left him for that and we were living apart, until he could figure out who and what he wanted. I was at my mom's house alone with him 2 or 3 days before he was murdered and he and I had a real long talk. We decided to give it one more try and get back together. He was going to go over to her house and tell her it was over. Knowing my mom was at work and her hours, we even made love on her couch that day. It turned out to be the last time I would see him alive. When he went over to her house the next time, it was the night her ex came over and got into a fight with Gary. Gary beat him up. Her ex then walked to his truck, got out his .22 rifle and walked back towards the back porch where Gary and she were standing. He pointed it and pulled the trigger. I was very upset and crying after I got the news. My mom just looked at me and said 'why are you so upset, you didn't love him anyway, you were separated'. To this day I've never told her that he and I were together at her house or what we talked about and did. She did give me some money, so I could drive 10 miles to the closest mall and buy a black dress. I stopped on the way there by a friend's restaurant/bar and told them what had happened. They were both in TWI. Their son walked to the bar, mixed me a screwdriver in a syrofoam coffee cup and told me to slip into the kitchen to drink it. I was underage, but he knew what I needed more than I did. His mom stood in the kitchen with me for an hour or more as I drank it, holding me and showing me someone cared. That was the one act of kindness thru the whole ordeal from anyone in TWI. When my twig leader D*bbie Gr*ss heard what had happened, she told me 'he wasn't a believer anyway, so what are you in such a fuss about. Quit crying and go find a real TWI believer to marry and forget Gary. He isn't worth crying over.' Then my mom really helped me out by picking up and driving his bitch .. err.. mistress, to the funeral. She left me on my own, with his 5 VERY big and ....ed off brothers, for all of us to find our own way to the funeral home. One of them rode there with me and helped me hold it together, while the rest rode together in another of the bro's cars. TWI was a real support thru the funeral. None of them from twig showed up, nor did they come to see me afterwards. Gary was never mentioned by any of them again. I suffered thru the whole thing and watched that bitch carry on about how after he was shot, Gary told her how much he loved her, his blood spilling all over her clothes, then how he slipped away and died. I asked her to please return his possessions that were left at her house. She had a yard sale a couple days later and sold all of it at a nice profit. I lost it all. Last, he wanted to be cremated and I honored his request. I picked out a beautiful urn made from brass with a braided horseshoe of brass on the front of it. I kept it on the mantle of the fireplace in my mom's home. (I was living there then.) Trying to do as told, I met and married another man very quickly about 3-4 months later at the ROA, when I still wasn't thinking straight and married him at the end of the Rock. No one ever bothered to ask me what the hell I was thinking of. That's another story altogether. Once he and I got settled into a place in the next state over from where I was born and raised, I asked my mom to send me the urn. She told me she had decided to give it to Gary's favorite brother. I NEVER gave her my permission to do that. The murder happened in the beginning of 1977. Fast forward to 2000. I located his brother online and sent him an email. He told me he took the urn to the state of Washington and he and the rest of the brothers climbed up a really tall mountain, then scattered the ashes. They then tucked the urn into a crack in the mountain. Gary wanted to be buried in his mother's grave, on top of her casket. He had told me that shortly after we were married, in case anything ever happened to him. I haven't talked to his brother since. While I could probably find where they tossed the ashes, I have yet to figure out how I will get up a mountain path in my wheelchair if I ever could save up the finances to travel there. After talking to his brother, I looked online and found the email to the newspaper for the county Gary was murdered in. I told them who I was and they looked up the old newspaper articles and sent a copy to me snail mail. Gary died instantly. He did NOT talk to that bitch. She wasn't even near his body, she was found freaking out, standing on the side of her house. She never even bothered to go inside after it all went down, to check on her two very young kids, to make sure they were still asleep!!! Her ex drove himself to work, told his foreman the cops would be there soon to get him, he'd just shot and killed a man. He was exactly right, that's just what the cops did. (I know the man who worked next to him in that factory, so this is confirmed to have happened.) The article then mentioned who his father was and said he was the biggest contractor in the entire area. The other article they sent me was after the trial. It said he was sentenced to 5 yrs., for 2nd degree murder. I wonder what kind of plea he would have gotten, had his daddy been a nobody. So now I know the whole story of what really happened that night. 'Cuse me, I need to go cry more now..... BB

I never noticed your absence .. then again, I haven't been in chat for awhie so that could be why. LOL. As always be careful over there and you will be in my prayers. Umm ... do they let you run proxy servers on your brower over there? That is one way to get around the closed ports on their servers and get into chat. Not that I would know about these kinds of things. Worth a try to see if you can. :) BB

Hey hon! I love you too!!!

Both of us hate white meat, so turkey is totally out of the question. We picked up 2 ducks that hubby will cook up for us. :) Yummy!

My ex boyfriend was in the military group that did the clean up of Jonestown. To this day he can't think back to that time without the ensuing nightmares coming again. I point blank asked him one day who all died there, due to the crap VP wanted us to believe and the ex said they were all members of Jim Jones cult. Normal people who got brainwashed in the cult, that then ended up taking their own lives when ordered to do so by their insane leader.

The cute guys!!!

OK, *now* I know why I am sick again. I guess this time I should use a real surgeon type person instead of letting Excie and Socks operate on me. LOL. (Hey, don't blame me you two, you both started it. I just couldn't let it pass by without a remark, as is usually the way with me. Hehe, love ya both.) How about 'letting go and letting God'. I know that isn't specific to TWI, but it's the first place I heard the term used. By that I mean when you just don't know what to do, telling God that He is gonna have to take care of it for you, cause you are out of ideas or options. I tend to whine to Him alot about things in my life, big and little, and He's yet to let me down. Story time. Would you expect less of me? Last night I was reading posts and wondered into the section for states. I haven't been there in a long time and saw the one for Illinois, so I clicked on it. I found a lot of you talking about John Desmond in the thread and I had been thinking about him too recently, so I picked up the phone and gave him a jingle. John is the man who witnessed to me, so many years ago, on a New Years Eve, at a hotel in Indianapolis, where a combined Ind/Ill limb meeting was happening .. we were in an elevator. LOL. I was all of 16 and saw all these people running around with name tags on and I was curious what was up with that. John didn't look like he'd bite me or anything, so I asked him what was up. He witnessed to me. Turns out he was in a town 20 miles from me and about ready to run a class. The rest is history and I spent the next 20 years in TWI. Once John picked himself up off the floor when I told him who was calling .. we had the most wonderful talk. He and I hadn't talked in probably about 10 years or more, so we had some catching up to do. He also didn't know about the GS Cafe, so I rattled off the URL and he typed it in. I had the honor of hearing his reaction as he glanced thru some of the threads in here. That's when he told me that he'd been thinking of so many of his old TWI friends recently and wondering how and where they were. There the names were and to say he was thrilled would be an understatement. He registered then and there and will be posting as time allows once Paw accepts his application. In 49 days when he's officially retired, he'll have a lot more free time to read and post with all of us and tell his stories. John and I both feel God put it in my heart to go to that thread and see his name, thus giving me the incentive to pick up the phone and give him a shout. I got to talk to my good friend again and he found out how to get to this forum to locate everyone he'd been thinking about. The timing just fits perfectly and is typical of the little things God does for me when they are needed. Normally I'm asleep as of about 5 am, but I'm on such a buzz after talking to him, I am far from sleepy right now. I am just sitting here with the biggest grin on my face and everything feels right in the world. John holds a special place in my heart and hearing his sweet voice again ... well, I think y'all know what I mean. The person who witnessed to us is someone we will never forget and love forever. Sorry, I'm rambling and probably boring you to death, but I just HAD to tell everyone about this. What a mind blowing night I had and from now on John and I will keep in touch more often via email and phone. God is so good to me.

John doesn't have the beard these days ... but is planning on growing it back in 49 days when he retires. :)

Hey hon. Let me welcome you to the world of the blessed, the few, the reunited adoptees. What we find isn't always what we dreamed is it? That said ... I found them all. Mom, dad, 11 brothers and sisters (still one half bro out there somewhere who will be number 12), aunts, uncles, grandparents. That was in 1991. Mom had 7 kids, 7 different fathers. Dad had 6 kids, 4 with his wife, missing half bro and I 'made' the times he cheated on his wife when she was pregnant. Some I've met, some wanted no contact which I respected. Is it want I dreamed of finding? No, but it's my reality. I have to be satisfied with knowing where all my medical probs came from and who I talk like, laugh like, think like, etc. (all from Mom). You know the drill I'm sure. We grow up without answers, questioning our every move and wondering who we got it from. When we finally find our birth family, the questions start overflowing and can overwhelm those we find. We don't mean to be a pain in their foot, but we can come off as such. When you factor in the aspect of the kept children not knowing of your existance, it can get really stressful on them. They are trying to adjust to having a new brother or sister in their life and accept the fact their mom (or dad) wasn't the saint they thought she was. They are no longer the oldest, youngest, whichever, there is now someone taking their 'spot' in the family. While we get what we are searching for, we take the risk of ripping their entire world apart. I grew up an only child too. Suddenly I found 11 brother and sisters. I won't tell you how to be a sister to those you found, because I don't know the answer either. I go between talking to my oldest sis on Mom's side a lot, to no contact for extended periods. I have no contact with the rest of my siblings via their choice after the original contact. Mom I talk to, Dad wants nothing to do with me and won't even claim me as his, although my siblings from him have at least acknowledged me. 2 of my siblings were dead by the time adoption records were opened, so I don't know what their choice would have been. I'm sure the sister that recently found you is still in the 'want to know it all' frame of mind. She's got tons of questions to ask and is trying to find the answers. Obviously you can't answer them all as you were adopted too. That brings it all on your bro's head and he's not ready to deal with 2 'found' sisters and learning things about his mom that he never dreamed he would have to face. Until he is ready to talk to her, I hope she can remain patient, without getting offended by his lack of willingness to respond to her. My heart goes out to all of you as you deal with the different sides of the triad. I doubt any of this helped you, but I wanted you to know there is someone out here who does understand what you are dealing with. I'm crying for you as I type this out. I'm here if you ever need to talk about it to someone who's been there.

Not sure if this will fit on this thread or not. Y'all can be the judge. First some background. Those who know me can skip the first part, you already know what I'm going to say. Heh. I'm homebound for the most part and we don't have a car, those are too expensive. When I'm having a Crohn's flare, such as the present time, it's too painful to walk any distance and I use a wheelchair when I'm forced to go out and rely on hubby to push me around town. Big pain in the butt (no pun intended), so I usually just sit here, in 'my corner of the cave' as I call it and my computer is my way out to the rest of the world. I chat with people online, but since I keep my hubby's 3rd shift schedule, I have many hours every day when no one is around and I fill that time by playing computer games. OK, new info starting here. I had been waiting anxiously for the release of the game Black and White 2 for the past 3 or 4 years. Ever since I got the first Black and White. Love the game! I'd been following their website and developers notes. It was finally released on the 7th. Someone from this forum had given me a gift certificate on Amazon and EBay awhile back, which I had saved some of, waiting for this game to come out. Soon as I read it was released, I got on Amazon and ordered it. It came yesterday! I was so happy. 4 CD's worth of game (3.5 gig for the geeks reading this). It installed perfected and I clicked on the incon .. only to get a message telling me my video card didn't have pixel shading 1.1, so it was NOT going to run. I hit the website and started reading help posts, finding others having this same problem and there was no 'fix' for it other than to buy a new video card. Had I seen the game required this, I wouldn't have ordered it probably and set myself up for such a disappointment. At least my installing the game I got to the read me file and they did include a list of the vid cards it will work on .. of course they are all the newer type that all cost about 100 to 150 bucks. I was at the 'what to do' stage. After getting my hubby out the door to work, I hit EBay, after coping down the list of vid card names/numbers, so I had them in front of me and started searching what was for sale. 90 something pages worth came up and I guess I spent about 4 hours looking thru them, but not seeing anything powerful enough or with the pixel shading at a price I could afford. (I checked and only only had 57 bucks left on EBay on the gift certificate there.) I was so tired by that point. I whined to God and told Him that I just felt there was one video card there for sale at the price I needed, but I wasn't finding it. I asked Him what to type in to search so I could find it. My first thought was 'ATI 256', so I typed that in the search box and up came only 2 pages of vid cards for sale. I was thinking as I started to go thru them, I was gonna have to settle for a card with 128 RAM and have the game not work as well. Guess we all get that way at times. Of course God proved me wrong! In the middle of the first page I found the only ATI Radeon 256 MB vid card for sale cheap enough I could buy it and pay the shipping cost. (It's the 9250 model for those geeks reading this...real nice card.) It was 54 bucks and listed as a buy it now, so I was assured I would get it and not have to worry about being outbid. I was so happy clicking that button, knowing in a few days that card will get here, I can stick it in my puter and finally play the game I've waited so many years to play. God is so good to me. I spent the rest of last night telling those still online what He had done for me and how awesome He is. (Then again, it could just be He got tired of hearing me whine. LOL.) Anyway, all the other people selling that card were letting bids be held on them and they were going up to 80, 100 bucks or more. To find the one person who listed the one he had for sale (and it's new too) as a buy it now and at such a ridiculously low price .. I just know it was God. So yeah, I'm still operating the 'going to God when there is no way' that I first heard about in TWI.

I'm not prejudice .. I listen to both kinds of music, country AND western. Heh.