BikerBabe

Hey Mo. Aren't doctors, their tests and all the other crap that goes along with it fun? *sigh* I finally got on Social Security and Medicaid, so I'm going thru it all now for my Crohn's and Fibro and the related medical probs that go with all things auto immune. All I can say is to hang in there. I know how strong you are and stubborn, that alone tells me you *will* walk out of there and back into the life you had to put on hold for awhile. If I could do it, so can you. I was down to 76 lbs again by the time I finally got all the paperwork, doc visits and referrals, all the fun stuff the Gov. requires done and now 8 months later I'm at 104 pounds, totally out of pain and am watching my wheelchair and cane gathering dust in the closet. I am back on my bike and riding for miles to get around town, just like I did years ago before this latest flare started. I still miss having a car, but there's nothing like the feel of the wind in my face as I fly down the street on my bike, feeling like a teenager again. Not gonna tell you it's gonna be easy, you know from past experience it's not. You also know the end result is worth all the pain and struggle at first that gets us to our goal of having our lives back. Keep your eye on the goal and you will be there before you know it. You will be in my prayers as you work your way there. Love ya Lady. BIG *hugs* and hope to see you in chat once you are back home and feel up to stopping in.

I'm with David on this one. I don't have a TV, so wouldn't have any idea what was being talked about in there. Now computer games are another story. I have tons of them, personally finding games much more fun than TV. I like the interaction, the eye/hand coordination they build and with games I'm *doing* something, not just sitting and vegging out watching a screen. TV is fun once in a long while at friends houses, but games win out here and extra money is saved up and goes to new computer upgrades and games when they are released.

They still own the domain. I'm thinking along the lines that they are changing their hosting company and that is why the site isn't coming up. Plesk is a company that sells software to help you host your domain name. They are probably having problems with technical things when all we see is the Plesk info on the site. That means it's defaulted back to 'nothing' and they have work to do so the world can see their website again. Check again in a day or two and I bet their site will be back up and running fine. Here is all their WHOIS info that tells you who owns the domain, the admin of it and the name servers that host it. Below their's is the WHOIS of the company that owns the name server computers physically. I'm sure they are all working together to get the problem fixed. Registrant: THE WAY INTERNATIONAL P.O. BOX 328 NEW KNOXVILLE, OH 45871 US Domain Name: THEWAY.ORG Administrative Contact , Technical Contact : Longley, Steve SteveLongley@theway.org P.O. BOX 328 NEW KNOXVILLE, OH 45871 US Phone: 419-753-2523 Fax: 419-753-2903 Record expires on 29-Nov-2014 Record created on 20-Sep-2002 Database last updated on 25-Jul-2005 Domain servers in listed order: Manage DNS WIN01NS1.DNS-HE.COM WIN01NS2.DNS-HE.COM Show underlying registry data for this record IP Address: 66.221.15.146 (ARIN & RIPE IP search) IP Location: US(UNITED STATES)-TEXAS-FT. WORTH Record Type: Domain Name Server Type: Apache 1 Web Site Status: Active DMOZ no listings Y! Directory: see listings Web Site Title: Welcome to The Way! Meta Description: THE WAY INTERNATIONAL OFFICIAL SITE, a Biblical research, teaching, and fellowship ministry dedicated to presenting the accuracy and practicality of God's Word. Meta Keywords: Way International, Way, Bible, Bible study, Biblical, research, teaching, fellowship, home fellowship, home fellowships, abundance, abundant, abundant life, power, truth, Christian, ministry, non denominational, nondenominational, disciple, Way Disciple, Secure: No E-commerce: No Traffic Ranking: 1 Data as of: 18-Jul-2006 ----------------------------- Registration Service Provided By: midPhase Services, Inc. Contact: dan@midphase.com Domain name: DNS-HE.COM Registrant Contact: dkAds Network, Inc. NA NA (NA) NA Fax: 1954 Jamestown Dr Palatine, IL 60074 US Administrative Contact: NA Dan Ushman (zboca@midphase.com) 84793467201 Fax: dkAds Network, Inc. 1954 Jamestown Dr Palatine, IL 60074 US Technical Contact: NA Dan Ushman (zboca@midphase.com) 84793467201 Fax: dkAds Network, Inc. 1954 Jamestown Dr Palatine, IL 60074 US Status: Locked Name Servers: NS1.DNS-HE.COM NS2.DNS-HE.COM Creation date: 08 Sep 2003 19:19:15 Expiration date: 08 Sep 2012 19:19:15

Normally when a site is down for a short time as work is being done on it, a router goes out somewhere preventing you from reaching the site for a few minutes or the company that hosts it is fixing a problem, we call it a 'net burp'. In this case though, considering we are dealing with TWI, I think it would be more appropriate to call it a 'net spit in their direction'. (Yes, guys, I DO know what I'm to do after a crack like that. I'm now heading off to sit on the Ugly Orange Couch and slap my fingers for acting up like that, as after 14 years online they *should* know better than to say such things..... LOL.)

Hahahahahaha. I was just getting ready to post that picture and you beat me to it Sudo. I also *had* to keep a copy of it. I, for another, miss his posts so much. He was always great to read and I wish he'd drop in and say hi to all of us oldtimers who remember the day he posted this picture of himself. (Who knows, maybe he's loosened up a bit over the years and this time we really could talk him into doing the picture in front of the chair! LOL, we gave it our best try I remember, that was a fun thread.) Larry, come out, come out, from wherever you are! :)

You both explained it every well. It is human nature to back away and be timid of the things we don't understand and that scary feeling we know there is nothing we can do to 'fix it'. We women are worse than the men most of the time too, due to our mothering instinct which tells us to 'fix it'. When there's a death or someone I know gets ill, I usually come up with some one liner that says something like 'There are no words, so I'm not gonna waste your time or mine trying to come up with any. Let's just sit here together and 'be'. We can talk about whatever comes to mind or not say a word and just get peaceful together, it's your choice'. When I first met my next door neighbor who has Cerebral Palsy and uses a power chair, out on the walkway, I said to him 'well darn, I finally get strong enough to get out of my chair and NOW I meet you .. shoot .. well, one day I'll dig mine out of the closet and we'll hit the parking lot for some chair races, sound cool?' He about fell out of his chair laughing at me. (He's 50 yrs old like I almost am, the mind pic alone was great.) Since that time we've come up with a better idea. We're gonna get a long rope, put his chair in front of mine (his is powered, mine is manual) and he will hold one end of the rope and I'll hold the other. Then he will give me a 'tow' down the street so we can see how many people we can get laughing as they drive by. We live on a very busy street too, so that makes it all the more fun to plan out. We will try to get it on video too so I can post it online. I've also point blank told him that when he's out of his chair and hobbling around his apartment, he reminds me of me last year when I couldn't hardly walk due to muscle weakness. We have fun comparing notes of the 'best' places we've dropped like a rock or gotten stuck in our chairs. He's told me since we met that he has so much fun with me because I'm not afraid to talk about it and can make the fun jokes that gets us thru every day. I've always been the type who'd rather laugh than cry, so I try to find the humor in every situation. Another day, a couple weeks ago I went over to the store with him and on the way there I just hopped on the back end of his chair, grabbed on around his headrest and went for a ride. Man, that was fun, but we came to a pretty bumpy part of the sidewalk and so I hopped off at that point. Didn't want to take a chance of tipping us over! We'll find a better area of sidewalk and do it again one day, we had a riot and everyone driving home from work that came by us and noticed gave us a laugh and a wave. :) Gotta end this for now. I was supposed to ride up to the bike store yesterday to get the light put on my bike so I can start riding now after dark. Once it hits over 100 degrees daytime here, we try not to go out till after the sun goes down and it cools off some. Instead I spent the day watching my manager remove my dead fridge that I woke up to find out of here and get a new one put in. Then by the time I got all the food moved into the new one I was pretty tired. I sat down and after a few minutes my computer's alarm went off saying it was overheating. I spent a half hour under my desk cleaning the dust out of all the fans, off the boards, etc and then when I booted back up, the vid card decided it didn't want to work right. After removing it, putting it back in, getting new drivers for it and the monitor and making some adjustments, I'm back to normal. By then it was too late to go to the store though. So I'm up early on just a few hours sleep to make sure I'm there shortly after they open this morning to get my light put on. Gotta stay safe out there on the road and after dark without good lights and good flashing LCD lights totally around the bike, you won't be seen and take a huge chance of getting run over. I saved up 150 bucks over the past few months so I would be able to do this once the weather got hot.

I've learned that some people (none in here obviously) get into a mindset similar to the one when someone dies. They really have no idea what to say, what to do and would love to just avoid the entire situation and have everything back as it was. They know that won't and can't happen, so they will use the most convenient excuse to justify to themselves or the 'group' of friends that they have a reason that is good enough to not come around and visit so often. Heck, that's real easy with people like us that use the little strength we have just to get thru our day and do the absolutely necessary things. Housework, thank you cards, online things, parties, whatever it is you used to do always, just isn't a priority any more and would take away strength needed for you to have some quality of life. There's such a vast different between not being able to do things and not wanting to do them. They have never been in that position in their life, so it never crosses their little minds that you aren't the same anymore and pitching in and helping would mean more than they would ever know. They just find an excuse that suits them, so they feel no guilt in spending more time away from you than they used to. I've had people choose not to want to be around me because of the pain meds I take. In real life I rarely tell anyone what I take, except the other pain patients at the clinic as we talk about what meds work or don't work for us. The second people hear Methadone they assume I'm a drug addict and say so via asking how much and what kind of drug I was abusing, before I was put on the Methadone. Sheesh. I again tell them I'm a pain patient, I've never abused drugs and they still don't understand many times. They don't get it that while Methadone is used to help heroin and other type opiate addicts detox off them if they can't do it on their own, it's also been found to be an excellent drug for people with intractable pain. Most pain patients feel it's the best, I agree with them. I feel no 'high' like all the other pain meds give you, I don't get cravings for 'more' as a lot of pain patients end up doing over time because the drug is made so you don't have that happen and should I ever lose my medicare, I could afford to buy a month's worth of Methadone for around 40 to 50 bucks probably for the amount I take. A month's worth of not even half the strength of Oxycontin or Morphine I'd need would cost 400 bucks at least. But ya know, I don't feel I should have to explain all that to anyone, if they are really my friend they would just be thrilled I was able to get the medicare and get the meds to get rid of the pain which enables me to eat and put weight on. I can say that in here because those that know me from chat WERE thrilled when I got the pain gone and would give updates on my weight over the months. I haven't told anyone in real life much, just say yeah if they do notice I've put on 25 pounds over the past 7 or 8 months. Free, don't let any of 'em get to ya and make you sad. I learned the stress of it all isn't worth it. Give them a little more time if they do come visit without you asking them to and maybe the light will dawn soon. I sure hope it does, there are days when there's nothing like having a friend you can go to and whine your heart out, knowing he or she realizes it's healthy for you to do that ... when you have someone like him/her whom you trust enough to open up to and are assured it won't be taken wrong. It's good for you and should be an honor to them to be thought of in such a wonderful way by you. If these friends don't come around, as others have already said .. it's time to find new friends. I know it sounds scary, but new friends can be fun as you get to know each other over time and talk about things new to both of you that your old friends would have no interest in hearing about again for the 10th time. :)

I wrote the following a couple years ago and posted it to a pro smokers forum to a smoking nanny who invaded us. I will update it to present day at the end: This story is about a lady who fell in love with a nice young man back in 1994. They loved all the same things and did everything together, but they had one problem. He wasn't a smoker. In fact he was an anti smoker. He gave her a choice, quit smoking or they had to break apart. He was sensible enough to realize her 1 1/2 to 2 pack a day habit wouldn't allow for her to go outside every time she wanted to light up. Blinded by love she agreed and went to visit her doctor. She asked him to put her on the patch so she could stop smoking. Her boyfriend surprised her with a trip to The Florida Keys as a thank you and they had a wonderful weekend vacation together. This also helped take her mind off smoking and the patch did work. After a couple weeks the violent reaction she had to the patches was becoming apparent. The skin under each patch applied was bubbling up and becoming raw and bleeding. At only 5 feet tall even and 96 to 98 pounds, there were only so many areas of her body above the waist left to apply the patches. Each raw area was taking a couple weeks to heal, even with special prescription cream her doctor gave her. After a month, down to the 2nd step of the 3 step patch system, she was starting to have such bad gut pains she was left screaming in agony. She went to see her doctor and he gave her pain pills for the gut, more cream (at 75 bucks an ounce tube) for the raw spots on her body and told her to quit using the patch and start smoking again, quitting was going to be the end of her. She started smoking again, lost her boyfriend, moved into her own apartment and tried to find a part time job she could do while dealing with the gut pain that wasn't going away. Full time work was out of the question, she was too sick. Tests were also out of the question with no health insurance. Now, let's fast forward a bit. It's now 1998 and she is living in Los Angeles and on the state health care, sicker still and trying to find a doctor to help. Over the years we skipped she had used ER's and seen a doctor on the rare occasions she could afford an office visit. She put up with being called a drug seeker, a liar and asked if she wanted to talk to a shrink. All she wanted was to find out why her gut hurt so badly. The docs at UCLA ran a few minor tests, but since she didn't have insurance, just the state care, they really weren't much help. She got lucky for awhile and got some pain pills to help the pain, but the docs would never really try to find out what was wrong. She was reduced to eating one meal a day and then lying, curled up in a ball, screaming for an hour till the pain passed. (This was while on pain pills, they didn't touch that chronic pain that eating caused.) She then met a nice man online and moved to Phoenix. He got her on the state health care there and took her to the local teaching hospital. By then she was down to 72 pounds, unable to walk under her own power (he carried her in his arms), and the pain was relentless. There she found the resident doctor willing to listen and believe in her. He ordered the barium gulp, iodine push, CT scan that found her Crohn's Disease. After being ignored for so many years, the only choice was surgery. Here is what was removed from inside her: http://www.xworld.org/pix/guts3.jpg That is the last foot of her small bowel and a bit of her large (colon). You can see the outside and how it was covered in scar tissue and held into the U shape from the Crohn's. The inside was 90% filled with scar tissue and the reason for all the pain as food tried to move thru it after she ate. She went into remission after the surgery, but still had pain. It took 5 more years and 6 to 7 OB/GYN docs to find the one that realized what the rest of the pain was from. The doc ordered a test on an Xray taking toilet that showed how her uterus was tilted into her colon, causing bowel obstructions. She also had a rectocele, a breakdown of the wall of muscle/skin between the vaginal and rectal openings so it formed a pouch that caused even yet worse obstructions of stool. She was put into surgery again and the doctor fixed the rectocele and removed her uterus. She found out then that this is something that happens to some women with Crohn's and was related and considered a side effect to the disease. The skin of the palms of her hands and fingers was also getting covered in little water type blisters, same as what she got under those nicotine patches so many years ago. It's called EBA, a bubbling skin disease 4 out of every million people with Crohn's gets and she never goes a day now without some raw areas on her hands that are painful. Finally she was painfree in her gut and she did a detox off the high amounts of painkillers she had been on. 400 mg a day of morphine and 2 Vicodin ES every 4 hours. She got her weight back up to 84 pounds when she started absorbing the food she ate. Then the Crohn's flared again. I'm that woman. I got the word I was approved for SSI, but my husband makes too much money at 9.50 an hour for me to get any from them, which then translates into no state medical unless I get SSI monies first. I'm again passing out from the pain after I dare to try to eat something. I feel they will have to surgically remove more of my small bowel that this flare has destroyed. I'm not sure what I will do at this point and may die from a non fatal disease or end up in emergency surgery at the last minute when my guts explode from scar tissue obstruction. To the nannies who don't like smokers, I say this: Well, enjoy paying for my furture medical care one way or another, because trying to appease an anti smoker, I have more than paid the price. Before I tried to quit I was never sick. I was teaching dance in a club and dancing non stop for 6 to 8 hours every night. I rode a bike 20 miles a day, today I use a wheelchair to get around. Smoking HELPS those with Colitis and some with Crohn's. Those who don't smoke are put on the patch if they can handle it. Smoking helps them get into remission or stay there IF they haven't previously tried to quit and then flared, such as in my case. There is no hope for me, I'm stuck like this for the rest of my life. I take it day by day and deal the best I can. I'm homebound, I watch the world go by me as I look out my window. I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for caring so much about me and my health that you and your type talked me into trying to quit smoking. It's ok that I have no life any more, it's ok I can't go anywhere with all the smoking bans in place, it's ok because YOU are paranoid of 2nd hand smoke which has been proven not to be harmful, it just doesn't smell good to you. Unless you have a breathing problem, it won't hurt you and even that has now been questioned. I realize you don't care the cost to me, in fact I'm sure you are overjoyed I won't be anywhere near you with my cigarette that keeps me a little healthier. You aren't capable of thinking of anyone else when it comes right down to it, you only care about yourself and your selfish reasons. Just remember when they decide to take away your alcohol or your soda or tell you to diet. It's no different than taking away my cigarettes. If it offends someone, get rid of it. Don't you dare utter a word of complaint or expect me to have your back. It won't affect me, I can't go out any longer and have a good time, smokers aren't allowed inside most buildings these days. Present day: My husband and I are now separated and getting divorced. This way I was able to get the SSI and medicare, since I no longer had income (they considered his mine too). I was down to 76 pounds by the time I started on the medicare and got started back going to doctors for the various medical problems I have. (Crohn's of course, the skin probs from it, the Fibromyalgia, the IBS and the migraines.) Today, 7 months later I'm at 101 pounds. I've never weighed this much in my entire life, unless I was pregnant. I feel great and look normal again, instead of like I just walked out of a death camp. I still have good and bad days, but my new G.I. doc is running tests and will figure out what he thinks is best for me soon, meds or surgery. The pain will always be there, if the Crohn's isn't acting up, the Fibro will be. Haha. I was referred to the best pain doctor in the state and he's not scared of my high tolerance to pain meds and has me on 120 mg of methadone a day. I'm now able to walk 3 blocks to the grocery store on really good days, but most of the time I ride my mountain bike, which I'm able to go 5 or more miles now without breaking a sweat. My goal is to get back to the 20 miles I used to ride a day. I only get 623 bucks a month from SSI, so I know I will never be able to afford a car on that. It is just enough to cover my bills and the 99 bucks of food stamps takes care of my food each month. I talked to my sister last week in IM. She said to me 'now I know why you told me to never quit smoking'. She didn't listen, she quit and her pain level went from something a tylenol would handle to having to take Lortab every 4 to 6 hours and her tolerance was building fast. She knew she'd end up like me soon on the hard pain drugs for life if she didn't do something. She started smoking again and now she's almost back to 'normal' for her where over the counter pain meds are enough to work for her pain. She has Ulcerative Colitis, which is almost the same as Crohn's, except it only affects the Colon, not the entire digestive system as my Crohn's does. I am happy my experience helped her realize quickly what was causing the pain increase and she went right out and bought a pack of cigarettes. Had I known that all those years ago, I wouldn't have waited as long as I did, which was too long. I'll never be like I was, but smoking keeps me a LOT healthier than I would be if I didn't smoke. That would kill me and I'd really hate to die from a non fatal disease, just to please some smoking nanny's sensitive nose. (Note: I do not consider people with breathing problems anti's and nannies. I will NOT light up around them or make sure we are outside and I'm downwind, then smoking after getting their permission. Krys and I have talked about this at length and she can confirm what I'm saying if anyone should question it.) My heart broke hearing that from my sis. It's bad enough one of us has to live like this, but she's catching up with me with her Colitis and Fibro as the years go by and I hate seeing it. So I guess at this point you can also apply my above story to my sister too now that she's quit and also went from doing anything she wanted to being homebound in chronic pain. There are quite a few other diseases they have found that smoking helps keep at bay, but do you ever hear about it on the news? Of course not, that would prove how much the nannies and antis have lied to the general public about 2nd hand smoke and we smokers would possibly get some of the laws repealed and get some of our rights back. For those smokers here, if you don't mind generics, are you aware you can order cigarettes online from the Indian reservations and after tax and COD charges the cost comes to about 15 bucks a carton. I've been buying from allnativesmokeshop.com for years now and have saved a bundle. I smoke 6 cartons a month and they cost me right around 90 bucks. The government won't allow credit card companies, UPS and FedEX to work with online smoke companies anymore, so you pay via COD/money order when they arrive by US Mail. I order and the box will arrive in 3 days times .. sometimes even in 2! I smoke their Seneca Menthol brand and really like them. They are comparable to any name brand I smoked in the past and don't cost me 40 bucks a carton that I'd pay locally. So if y'all want to save some bucks, check out their website and try them once at least. I will tell you I prefer to call their 800 number (it's 24 hours) to place my orders rather than using their website, but that's just my personal choice. I prefer dealing with live people when possible and as soon as my order is put in, sometimes even before we hang up the phone, I have an email confirming it. They have a very nice system set up and they do NOT give out clients names to the government, they don't have to by law because they are a reservation, their own nation. Not all companies online that sell smokes are run by Indians, you must be careful, the ones that aren't have to give out client info when asked by the Government, then those clients get huge tax bills of 3000 or more bucks the Government feels they owe for buying online and avoiding their state tax. They can't do that when you buy from a reservation.

My Crohn's got so bad in 1998 that I dropped to 72 pounds and was so weak I had to be carried. The first doctor I saw (a G.I. specialist) told me I was sick cause I smoked cigarettes. *sigh* I was so angry I went directly across the street from his office to the hospital clinic the resident doctors were that I used as my GP docs. I was on the state medical care at that point. I asked if they could slip me in to see one and they saw my soon to be hubby standing there with me in his arms, they had me in a room very quickly. It took that resident, who knew nothing about Crohn's, to just be willing to listen to me and be willing to run a few tests. Something no other doc would do thru the first 40 years of my life due to having no insurance and not enough cash to pay for tests, not to mention they didn't believe me anyway, I looked fine, they always ended up asking me if I'd like them to refer me to a nice shrink they knew. :( The barium gulp, iodine push CT Scan found the Crohn's and as I prepared for surgery with the surgeon they referred me to, my resident GP started studying up on Crohn's. We don't have a car, so DR (hubby's nick) rides his bicycle as I ride mine when I'm able to get around. Needless to say, back then I could do nothing more than lay on the couch, in bed, or sit up at my computer. The net became my way out to the rest of the world, I only saw real life by looking out my window. By the time he worked all night and rode the bike 6 miles to get there and back, he was too tired to do housework and I wasn't able to. I don't even think rats would have wanted to live in our apartment. LOL. We had a path to get thru it basically. I was surrounded by all the things I needed the hours he was gone, so I didn't have to try to get up to get them and risk falling and hurting myself. I only got up to go potty and to go to the kitchen, the rest of my time I was at my puter or lying on the couch. While I've never been a neat freak, I was totally embarassed by the inside of our place. I know exactly what you are feeling. I then came to the understanding that I was NOT going to make myself sicker, to please anyone else. They could either choose to ignore the mess made by having needed things around me or they didn't have to come inside. I didn't care which, I just didn't want to hear a word about it from them until they had walked in my shoes for awhile. (Well, by then I had the wheelchair, maybe I should say rolled on my wheels. LOL.) You ex makes ME sick. What I would do is to not let him inside the house again. On the days he comes to get the kids, have them ready to walk out the door as soon as he arrives. If they aren't quite ready, he can wait on the porch until they are. That way his poor tummy won't get upset again by having to come inside your house, unless he comes in and cleans it for you. While that IS the thing he *should* be doing, I don't expect him to ever offer. As you know I've had many more than one husband. They ALL were the same. They said I was lazy, I used 'I hurt' as an excuse to get out of doing things and when I'd double over and hit the floor from the gut pain I was faking it. It's very tempting some days to get copies of my medical files of the Crohn's Dx and send them a copy. I probably never will, but it sure is fun to think about. Like your's though, I wouldn't ever hear apology one for all the nasty things said and done to me by them I'm sure. One of them heard me say my gut was hurting one day and said 'I'll show you pain' and then proceeded to. What fun, then my gut and other body parts hurt when he was done. Real friends who love you I learned will become apparent as time goes on. They are the ones that do try to understand that immuno diseases are an internal illness, not one that shows on the outside of the body in most cases, until the disease is at it's worst if even then. There is really nothing on the outside of our bodies that our immune systems can think don't belong, how silly would that be? LOL. It gets confused on our different body parts internally and thinks they are bad and goes on the attack, just like it's supposed to do to real bad things inside us. Just in our case it's attacking parts that aren't really bad and it ends up destroying our good parts. My favorite saying around here as I head towards the bathroom is: "I hate my guts ... and they hate me!" Every time I eat, if I'm flaring, my immune system thinks that the food moving thru my guts is something bad and it attacks my bowels, mainly right at the end of the small where it connects to the large. Over time the scar tissue builds up from all the times of inflammation deep into the bowel walls and if the nasty meds don't stop the flare, the only choice left is to have surgery to remove the bad section of bowel. I've lost a little over a foot of my small bowel in 1999. I am going thru more tests now and may need to have more taken out. Time will tell on that one. With MS your immune system thinks different body parts are bad and goes on the attack just like mine does. It can't be seen by others, but boy can we sure feel it. I wish I knew how to get your ex to understand how it all works, but I doubt he reads here to see what I've written and I don't feel he sounds like the type that would take the time to actually research the disease to see what it's doing to you in there. Well sweet lady, welcome to the world of all things immuno. We are a special group of people and do our best to support each other.

Free, as you know, I also have an auto immune disease. Stress can be a major trigger for flares of any of the immuno diseases. While I can't make it go away, I can understand the good and bad days you will be learning to live with as your 'normal life'. I've found not everyone really understands 'I may look fine on the outside, but am very sick on the inside'. They equal looking good to feeling good. That is a normal thing and true for almost all people. Those of us with immuno diseases are the exceptions to that rule. I'd be more than happy to have a shoulder for you if it's needed and may borrow yours someday too if it has the room. :) Please, if you ever want to talk to someone who's also there, get ahold of me. I have loved the times in chat with you and would hate to lose touch. I don't have your phone number, so will send you a PM with mine and my email addy, praying you check it before leaving for good so you have them. I have Yahoo IM too and can send you my nick in there, it's really the easiest way to reach me anyway cause if I'm awake, more than likely I'm online and IM will be turned on. I only leave the house on the days I feel I can handle it and they average once a week to every two weeks for anything further than a quick ride to the grocery store, when I run out of something. I love ya lady. I hate drama as much as you do and probably for a majority of the same reasons. Know you will be in my prayers. :)

If nothing posted has 'hit the spot' for you yet, you could always go a little further and come out here to Phoenix and visit me. We were only 103 degrees today. Just think how nice it will be by the time school is out .. I'm thinking 115 to 120. Lots of things to do out here, if you can figure out the magic formula to keep yourself from melting as you go from place to place around the city. LOL. Seriously, all the places mentioned sound great. Wherever you decide to go, have a great time!!!

I HATED wooden spoons. Funny thing though, my house always seemed to be lacking them and I'd hate to do the math to see how much was spent (by others) to make sure I had some. Then again, it could have been that one day I showed the kids how quickly our blue and gold macaw could bite thru a wooden spoon (one 300 lb. per sq. inch bite did the trick) and then the fun she had making toothpicks out of the spoon end of it. Naaaahhhh, *that* moment of (planned) amusement couldn't be the reason all the spoons kept getting fed to the bird as soon as they entered the house, via some caring Twit. Grandma finally did figure out I was the one who taught them I think. She started to leave her spoon at home when she came over to visit, knowing if it was spotted by the kids, it wouldn't be going back home with her and there would be one very happy bird making toothpicks. :) My kids, when they did something wrong, were very easy to correct. I simply sat down and talked to them and explained why whatever it was they did was not a good thing. They understood and wouldn't do it again. I didn't need a spoon, except for cooking their meals. Now that they are grown, I have apologized to them for the few times I did use a spoon on them and they told me not to even think about it .. they know exactly where it came from and it was TWI, not Mom. I quickly found a way to never have spoons around to be used on them and we talked things out to get them settled.

For years I've been a member of ign.com where I find cheats, walkthrus, etc. for the games I buy. They have grown and have many divisions now and I heard about one that got my interest very quickly. http://www.direct2drive.com/ Once you have an account with them, or if you already have one with any of the sites under the same umbrella, you can put the game (or games) you want in your cart, then go check out. They will keep your debit or credit card number on file inside your account so you don't have to type it all out each time, you only have to enter the security code (3 numers) on the back so they know it's really you. I surfed the site once hearing about it while reading on ign.com and found 2 games I'd been wanting, but couldn't find locally because we don't have any stores near us that sell a lot of games. Target and WalMart have a very small selection. Both of the games were the same price I'd pay at a store for them, except there is no tax added on due to it being an online, download purchase. Once your card goes thru, they send you email and then you can go in, log into your account, go into your personal account section and you will see the game or games you purchased waiting for you to download them. There is also an activation number there that you will need to make them run. Just like with a game bought at a real store! You may burn a copy to CD for backup should you wish (make sure to keep a copy of the activation number too), but once you buy a game from them, you can go back into your account at any time and redownload the games again. Each time you do that, you will get a new activation number, for your safety and theirs. There are slight differences between a purchased game CD at a store and a digitalized game you download. Patches you have to get from Driect2Drive, as they are made a little differently for some digitalized games. They do their best to get patches on their site, in a patch section, just as quickly as you will find them on a game's maker's website for a CD game from a store. Any games you downlaod will already have all the latest patches already on them. You would only have to go check for patches if more would be released after you downloaded the game from Direct2Drive. Am I impressed? VERY. I got 2 games I'd wanted for a couple months and couldn't find locally, at a great price and I was playing them a couple hours after buying them. (I was getting 520. KB download speeds on cable for the geeks reading this.) The 2nd game I bought was almost 3 gigs in size and it took 1 hour and 15 minutes to download it. Setup is the same as with any game and after that I was playing the game. It was nice to sit here last night in my bathrobe and get the games. LOL, couldn't go to a store dressed like that! I wanted to pass this site along to all the gamers here. If you don't mind the concept of a direct download to your drive instead of an install from CD, then check this site out. They have a nice selection and even a budget area of older games all selling for under 20 bucks. (Although I did see some 10 buck games not in that section in other ones, so I'm assuming that is the normal price and those games won't be moved into the discount area until they are older.) They have very clear directions for you to read (and please do read them), so you will have a flawless download and can be playing your new game in a very short time. For those that hate going to the store and looking thru racks of CD/DVD cases, go surf this site and enjoy the games you find and purchase.

http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/cfl.asp It's not true folks. Go here to read the truth and the recommended way to clean up a bulb if broken. Before my ex roommate left, he broke quite a few of these bulbs around the apartment during his temper tantrum. I picked up the glass and the windows were cracked to let smoke out and fresh air in, so I basically did what they say to do without knowing it. I didn't vacuum the rug till a couple weeks later, so I feel that time period passed was enough that it was safe to use the vacuum there again, but they say not to use one right away. (Glad I was busy with other things and didn't get around to it till I did!) I only have one of these bulbs left in the apartment that I do use in a reading lamp that can't handle the higher watt light bulbs so I get a brighter light. When the bulb goes, the light will too I think and I will buy a better one to replace it so I don't have to mess with any breaking again. That lamp is old and ugly anyway, this gives me a good reason to get rid of it. LOL.

Heh, I never have my sound turned on, so had no idea Sudo had done that with the song. Once I saw David's post I figured out something was up and turned on my speakers, then came back in this thread. Ahhhh, the memories. I remember many mornings at the ROA hearing that song being sung as I was crawling into my tent or bed (depending if we rented a camper or not). Always thought it was nice of them to play me some music to go to sleep to. Admit it, ya gotta love us backwards 3rd shifters that think the sun coming up means it's time to go to bed. Well, at the ROA they didn't like it much when they saw me doing it and would try to order me around saying I should be going to a teaching or events going on thruout the morning. Told them 'yeah sure, I'll go, just as soon as I wake up later', yawned and pulled the covers up over my head. It got to where I almost looked forward to that every year when there. Hehehe .. they really didn't like us rebels who wouldn't take their 'advice' and did as we damn well pleased.

In_a_gadda_da_vida is the correct spelling. Great song. (Not that I have the full version in mp3 format or anything on my computer and it was real easy to go check the spelling. LOL!)

Since I live in a tiny studio apartment, it's hard to find spots to take pictures, especially of something the size of my bike. LOL. The hallway seemed the best and has the best light, which my little camera phone needs. Here's my *baby* that means so much to me at the end of my post. One more thing, I couldn't afford a bike like this myself obviously. In the past, some years ago when my soon to be ex hubby had a better paying job we both had bikes we put a lot into, mine was 1000 plus, as I added more to it. Some jerk was so kind as to cut thru a very expensive lock I had on it one night and relieve me of it. I cried for 3 years missing that bike and knowing I'd never get out of the chair without it. I ran into an old friend on this forum, who wishes to remain nameless. This bike I have now was a gift from that person last year to me. It's 100 times better than the one that was stolen, it's a bike I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd have the honor and privledge of owning and riding and I'll never be able to thank that person enough for giving me my life back ... in more ways than one. This bike lives inside my little home with me. I purchased the very best lock on the market, one actually made for motorcycles that can also be used for bicycles. You can see the lock hooked on the bottom of the frame where the drink holder would normally be. It's a handcuff lock made by MasterLock and has 9 links between the cuffs, not cable or chain like all the other locks have, that have proven to be too easy to break apart by the pro bike thieves, which we have a lot of in Phoenix. When I lock it to something, I walk away knowing it will be waiting for me when I return. Now, here it is. Wish the pic was better quality, but it's all I had to get a pic with. For those who know mountain bikes, it's a Santa Cruz, Juliana SL.

I can't afford a car and I can't walk more than a couple blocks without causing myself more Crohn's and Fibro pain problems. I CAN ride a mountain bike ... used to do 20 miles a day before I got sick this last time ... I'm back up to 5 now and working my way back to 20 or more again. My hubby rides a road bike to and from work daily. Job he's working now is only about 6 miles round trip, so it's not too bad on him. He can get there in 20 to 25 minutes. For those thinking 'take a bus' .. the buses don't run when you work the 3rd shift hours he does, it's walk or ride the bike. Now, for those of you who can afford cars and have taken a hatred to those of us who ride, either for transportation or for pleasure. He and I both ride for both, usually spending his days off riding around town having a good time and trying not to get hit. He's been hit 3 times in the past 8 years. I was only behind him one of those times and got the honor of watching it happen. Thank God he's never been seriously hurt and only had some bruises where car bumpers connected with his leg. Was he riding crazy? No. We were entering a crosswalk, riding on sidewalks, not in the streets, when it turned to 'walk' for us. An old man was sitting in his truck at the corner, looked at us and saw us coming. He was waiting to make a right turn on the red. When he saw a break in traffic, he took his foot off his brake and started to move forward ... still looking to his left, not straight ahead or to the right where he knew we were. My hubby was right in the center of his truck and he was knocked off his bike. While he did maintain his balance and hopped backwards halfway into the middle of the 1st lane of the main road, with a 45 mph speed limit on it, by that time cars were coming IN that lane. Thank God the car that would have hit him was paying attention and was able to move into the center lane and avoid possibly hitting or killing him. I was just starting out from the corner and saw it all happen in slow motion it seemed. I remember hitting my brakes and screaming STOP STOP STOP at the top of my lungs to that old man in the truck. Then I looked to my right to see that car swerve to miss squishing my hubby as he regained his balance and got back out of the road. What shocked me the most was that old man never moved. He didn't get out of his truck, he didn't roll down his window to say he was sorry, he just sat there waiting for my hubby to reach down under his truck and remove his bicycle so he could continue on his way. He did just that too as soon as the bike was out of the way. Had I not screamed for him to stop, I feel we would have lost the bike. Due to him stopping where he did, his tires missed the bike by 2 inches. We also continued on our way as we were heading to pay the cable bill and it was due that day, so had to get done. We weren't all that far away by then, only 1 or 2 more miles to go of the 5 miles total distance it was from where we lived. The next 2 days hubby had off work, which was good or he would have had to call off. His leg by then was very sore and he was limping pretty bad on it. He was able to go back to work the 3rd day, but it took him a couple weeks before he stopped limping totally. Those truck bumpers can really put a bruising to ya when they push your leg into a bike frame at about 3 to 5 mph. I realize there are some crazy riders out there on bicycles. Don't judge the majority by the few. Why do some of us ride side by side on a road that doesn't offer us a sidewalk to ride on? (That is a legal way to ride btw in most states.) That way we KNOW we will be seen by cars and won't be hit. It's not to upset you or slow you down, it's for our own safety and protection. Twisting roads compared to a straight (or around a big circle) bike path in a park? On my top of the line, best selling woman's mountain bike in the country, that I have tricked out for the way I ride, which do you think would be more fun to ride on? I don't want to ride with people on a bike from WalMart that is made for the park paths, I'm a bicycle commuter and ride casually to new places to see new things. That means I ride on the roads and get there the same way you do in your car. I also want to ride in places my bike was made for, it's got full suspension, the twisting and turning roads are a lot of fun to ride on. They are a nice change from riding in city traffic where the majority of my riding is done since I live in the middle of uptown Phoenix. We're the 5th largest city in the country now, so that should give you an idea of the traffic I have to keep an eye on every second I'm out riding to get somewhere. I have a speedometer, a rear view mirror that attaches to my glasses, a side mirror on the right handlebar end, flashing lights front, rear, and on my wheels. I'm saving up for the good light I want so I'm ready when I'm up to night riding again and it's as bright as the headlights on any car, dim and bright settings both. My tires are Michelin's, just like the ones on your car and I'm sure I paid almost as much for my tires and rims as you did for two of your car tires and at least one rim, if not both. While my brakes will stop me on a dime, I intend to move up to disc brakes in the future when I can afford a set. They aren't cheap, but I want the best I can have to keep me safe when I'm riding and I've lost count how many times I've had to stop quickly when cars pulling out of store driveways don't look and almost hit me. Don't get me wrong, I *always* slow down when I see a car approaching a driveway I'm heading towards and I won't continue on until I have made eye contact with them so I know they see me. As I pass in front of their car, I wave and say thank you. Someone mentioned bike paths put on roads. Look closely at them the next time you are driving near one, slow down or stop and walk and look at it awhile. They are the worst maintained part of the road and some are not fit to ride on they are so rough. They also end a half block before you get to the intersections, so then what are we supposed to do? The intersections is where we need them most! That is the narrowest part of the road in some areas of town here where I live. I avoid the paths and use the sidewalk if there is one, or I take another road where there is a sidewalk to ride on. Most bicycle riders I've talked to prefer to take back roads with the least amount of traffic as often as possible. There are times when that is just not possible though, so when a main road is all there is and there is no sidewalk, we have to ride in traffic. Trust me, it's less fun for us being out there trying to get where we need to be and a heck of a lot more dangerous, than it is for all of you in a car that may have to slow down for a minute or two until you can safely get around us. We appreciate you doing that when you can't get by us safely in the same lane. It's the drivers who curse us, try to or do push us off the road, throw objects out the window at us (which turn into missiles you pray don't hit you), spit at us, or stay behind us going slow and honking their horns when they have plenty of room in other lanes to get by us, that upset us and scare us. If it wasn't for my bike, I'd never get to go anywhere. I've been stuck inside an apartment for the majority of the past 8 to 9 years I was so sick. I'm tired of the same 4 walls day in and day out. Now that I'm under a doctor's care and out of pain, my bike is my freedom, it's my way to go a few miles away from home to buy something I need at a store that isn't in my neighborhood. It is what makes my leg muscles get strong again and helps me get all of my body back in shape after sitting and doing nothing for so many years. 7 months ago I was using a wheelchair outside and a cane inside or for short distances outside (like to a neighbors). I couldn't get up and down the stairs, my legs weren't strong enough, I had to use the elevator. Today I use the stairs, I walk the 2 blocks to the grocery store if it's too dark to ride the bike there or I'm buying more than I can carry back on my handlebars. I've gone from 76 pounds to 100 pounds. I don't feel I will die at any time anymore, quite the opposite, I'm ready to rejoin the world and have a lot of lost years to catch up on. I'm not upset at any posters who said things bad about bike riders. Most people once they learn to drive never get on a bike again the rest of their lives and they forget what it's like. I thought I'd show what my side of the issues are since my bike is my only transportation. I hope it helps bring a little bit more understanding between riders and drivers, so we can share the roads in peace and no more get hurt or killed.

Before sealing any deals please make sure you check out the company/person you will be purchasing the dog from. Look up the company and/or person's name online and see what others may have posted about the business dealings they had in order to get their dog. Make sure you are not dealing with a puppy mill so you don't end up with a dog with a lot of health problems. Keep in mind the picture you see online of a puppy may not be the exact puppy you will receive. Sadly some bad companies out there use the same pictures over and over, then send a puppy that is similar to the one in the picture, but not the same exact one. If you are wanting a full blood dog with papers, make sure they are able to register the puppy you are buying with the organization you prefer, there are quite a few out there these days and not all are recognized by good breeders and dog showers as having papers worth anything. Ask which one the puppy will have papers from and don't buy if it's not one you want. I've never bought a dog this way. I just know these are things I have read in posts on ripoffreport.com from people who got ripped off when buying a dog from outside of the city/area they live in. That would be the first website I would recommend doing a search for names on in fact. Reading thru reports there can also help you know what to look for when buying so you don't end up with a bad deal and/or puppy as they did. I hope you find the perfect pup and that you post a pic for all of us to see once you get him or her home with you. :)

I passed the URL on to my soon to be ex hubby. (We are still close and friendly.) He said to send a 'thank you' out from him. He thinks it will be useful for his computers too. :)

Just keep doing what you have been doing so far and this place will be around for a long, long time Paw. It's the best place online for ex TWI and present TWI people to come and read, learn from others, understand what didn't make sense in the past finally, to post their story for all to read and learn from when they are ready to put it down into words and know they have finally found the place where there are others who really DO understand their past, as they went thru it all too. The love found here is refreshing after the unloving TWI years we all had. :) There aren't many people who could keep a forum such as this, with all it's demands and needs, running so smooth as you and your mods do. I'm honored to have met all of you in here. I chat much more than I post. We have a great group of regulars in chat and it's always so wonderful when newbies to the forum stop in to meet us and decide to join our little chat family. Of course it's always a thrill to say hey to you when you have time to stop in for awhile and visit. :)

Belle, I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but I echo every word you said. It had the look and feel of a murder/suicide in the beginning, the cops did everything they could given the information they had. David, are you aware that many of the VA Tech students are licensed to conceal carry? The school has a rule they are not allowed to carry on campus, so instead of one of them taking this perp out shortly after he started the massacre, they were prevented from doing so by school rules .. their guns were at home, doing them no good. For those who haven't heard yet: A former student of the college who graduated last year was in an English class with the perp. He is now employed at AOL and has put up two of the stories the perp wrote for class assignments and he retained copies of. You can read them here: http://newsbloggers.aol.com/2007/04/17/cho-seung-huis-plays/ Even being a year old, they are graphic and violence oriented. I felt it was worth the time to go and read his blog he put them on. They show the perp was having mental problems for some time, this wasn't a sudden change in him. This is not the time to blame anyone ... *except* the person who was on the trigger end of the gun. HE is the person that, without showing one ounce of emotion, shot and murdered all those students and teachers. It is the time for prayer for the families and friends of those murdered and for those injured and terrified like they never will be again in their lives. May those who were murdered rest in peace.

I was a nobody in TWI the whole 20 years I was around it. Never went above the Int. class, nor did I have a desire to. I was well aware of the sex stuff going on as early as 1979. (I was still a teenager then.) I tried to tell others, so of course I was called a liar, a troublemaker, the normal things they said when someone had information they weren't supposed to. I learned to just keep my mouth shut, not believe anything they taught and stay just below the line of getting myself kicked out, in order to keep an eye on other family members who were totally brainwashed and believed what HQ said lock, stock and barrel. When the day was coming in 1994 that everyone in TWI would be required to walk the straight and narrow line and take every class put out or be marked and avoided, I knew it was time for me to fade away before it was noticed. That was the only thing that allowed me to keep in touch with relatives still in TWI to this day. Had I been M and A'd, I know they would have obeyed and never spoken to me again. (I'm very grateful for the heads up I was given that the change was about to happen so I didn't lose touch with my family, as so many, many others did.)