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Suda

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Everything posted by Suda

  1. Very happy day to you! Suda
  2. Happy, happy! Hope your day was wonderful in every way. Suda
  3. Suda

    Jokes for the Ladies

    As I've Matured... I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in... I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off. I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished. I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things. I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back. I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity. I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the foot are permanent.
  4. Suda

    Jokes for the Ladies

    EXERCISE -----Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is. The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass. You could run this over to your friends but why not just post it to them!
  5. Suda

    Jokes for the Ladies

    Women are not supposed to snore, burp, sweat or pass gas. Therefore, we must bi+ch or will will blow up.
  6. Suda

    Jokes for the Ladies

    Great Signs From Restrooms Friends don't let friends take home ugly men Women's restroom in Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE Beauty is only a light switch away. Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. The Bayou, Baton Rouge, LA No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shi+. Men's Room Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry. Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, AZ Make love, not war... Hell, do both GET MARRIED! Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. Revolution Books, New York, New York. If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress! Men's Restroom, The House of Representatives, Washington DC Express Lane: Five beers or less Sign over one of the urinals Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ You're too good for him. Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA. No wonder you always go home alone. Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, You're going to have trouble with it. Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX
  7. Oakspear, Hope your day is wonderful in every way. Wishing you a happy birthday and many, many more! Suda
  8. Suda

    Doojable

    Happy Birthday, Doojable! May your day be wonderful! Suda
  9. It's June 14, so in one month GGGW will be underway. Looking forward to it! Suda
  10. Suda

    Happy Birthday Sushi

    Hope your day was perfect in every way! Suda
  11. Suda

    The Countdown

    Congratulations, Mr. President! Suda
  12. Suda

    HI

    Glad you're having a wonderful time. Keep enjoying! Suda
  13. Wishing you a very happy birthday, and many more! Suda
  14. Suda

    Did'ja Ever Wonder?

    1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 5. There are three religious truths: a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~! *~*~*~* 9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 12 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 14. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....they're cramm ing for their final exam. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 19 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 20. You never really learn to swear until you start working for Buffalo Police Dept. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
  15. Suda

    Need a favour !

    Great work. Thanks for posting the Rollicking Rooster Rhapsody!
  16. Wishing you a belated happy hoppy!
  17. Suda

    Bill of Non Rights

    Love it! Now how do we get it onto the House and Senate floors?
  18. Rascal, Here's to you having a happening day! Hope your birthday is awesome and full of joy. Happy Birthday, Suda
  19. Congratulations! This 4th of July will be a big celebration for you and your family! Suda
  20. Suda

    Ask PETA

    I think the PETA people are often way over the top and absurd, like rescuing lobsters from grocery stores and throwing them back into the ocean where they die. But I find this Potfry to be just as absurd, and tasteless. IMO, there is no humor in it, but lots of cruelty. Because of the cruelty, it is offensive.
  21. Have a wonderful, marvelous day! Suda
  22. Sure, Exie! June 2, 3 kiddoes and I fly to NYC and for one night. Next day, board cruise ship and head to St. Thomas (US Virgin Islands), Tortola (British VI), Bermuda, and back to NYC. Arrive in NYC am of the 11th, and fly back home in early afternoon. Looking forward to a relaxing fun in the sun vacation. As hubby doesn't do sun, he will enjoy a week of solitude (something I would love, too!). As we will be in your neck of the woods, I'd love to get together. How about it? If you're interested, please pm me. Anyone else in that area I could meet? Sure would be fun. Just pm me. Suda
  23. Suda

    Need a favour !

    All the above are great! Nothing more I can think to add. Let us know what the final choice is, and post a pic of them if you can! Suda
  24. Enjoy your vacation! My kids and I will be gone June 2 - June 11th. Hope to see you "back on the board" when we return! Suda
  25. Suda

    Need a favour !

    resound roar rollick All I could think of - hope it helps! What's the title to be used for? If I knew that, maybe I could be of more help. Suda
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