Twinky

It took a long time to burn it all (such a lot of time and effort invested in writing the bloody notes in the first place!!). And, Rejoice, the reason I did it was exactly because I didn't want anybody else getting polluted by reading it. It was a difficult decision, OB, very like mourning, though mourning for the death of decent relationships that never flowered as they should. And for the hurt in the lives of all of us with honest hearts who were so deceived and ripped apart and hurt. Once I'd made the decision, the act was quite easy. I believe there are some books somewhere; these haven't been returned to me yet. All the PFAL books, collaterals, and later material. LCM's Rise & Expansion book. Lotsa money invested there. Will I read any of these again? Nah. An ex-Wayfer friend lent me one of the collaterals for some reason, and JCNG. I couldn't get past the first page. I think the tapes have been disposed of long ago. In particular, AoS and Mr Leotard's egotism. I'm free - and staying that way.

The deed is done. All those notes...what a huge pile. It has kept the woodburner busy for quite a number of hours. All ash now. Maybe the ash will be of some use...improve the soil quality in the garden. As long as a Way tree does not decide to grow in it. LOL

We got to see The Last of the Mohicans, which was all about teamwork and never giving up. To go with it, we also got an Indian corn cob, without any instruction of what to do with it. LCM had some little statue (or was it a painting?) which showed a posse of Indians (native Americans) all following one another but looking in different directions - "looking out for each other." My recollection is that he wasn't quite as respectful of real human American Indians.

JJ, that's funny. Didn't know Howard was still alive. Do you suppose they're going to have to report to Rosalie before every time they have sex??? (Sorry for grossing everyone out)

They let me off the leash. Well, physically. I was stuck in the dog kennel though. Some time later, I let my mind and heart off the leash. AND I'M FREE. FREE!!!!!!

Not a dream, more like one of those very strange weird psychedelic colored whirly things when you eat too much spicy curry too late at night.

Thanks, Sky and OldSkool. Albatross... God has given me so much more now that my head is better in order. I see things at the Cafe and think, I have notes about that, I don't think that what so-and-so says is quite what happened. But really, what does it matter? A bit wrong, or a lot wrong? I don't care to argue about the past. I look forward to the future. Every day with God is a new beginning. A new beginning implies also an end to something. I figure, if it's important, or really real, God can teach me again, or remind me, or ... or whatever. He doesn't need contaminated notes to remind him, LOL.

All I can say is - the real Body of Christ is significantly bigger than a poxy little outfit in the middle of rural USA. There are believers, real believers, in very many countries, who live and breathe God's love in truly difficult circumstances. There are those who really risk their lives. There are those who put their lives truly out there to be available to others on mission fields of various types - medical, teaching, volunteer work, caring for kids... In every town in "western" civilization, Christianity is easy. Churches are there and some of them are very good. In many towns denominationalism has broken down and different churches are cooperating in projects working together to present a large and loving face to (let's say) the unsaved. When someone leaves a church to start attending a different once, they often go with the blessing of the "old" church which recognizes the need to move on. And while you're going to one of these churches, there are others to speak to if there are problems with the minister or other church leaders. That's a lot better than the united front of The Way where the leader's word was law for everyone. Never mind God's word. Step aside, God, we know your job better than you do. I love the diversity of the lives of the Christians I know now. And I love seeing the way God works in their lives. And I love being a part of God's real outreaching to the poor, dispossessed, homeless, needy. Thank God for His never-failing love and compassion.

I’m back in another country for a little while. My Corps notes and notes from all the classes I ever took are here. And also are letters from people I sponsored, who sponsored me, bless notes, etc etc etc. I’ve reread some of those letters. The pain in letters from SPs in the 1993-95 period is amazing. It’s class after class, after confrontation and reproof session…all about being better “in the word”, and so on. You know the story. There are letters from people I loved very deeply and many letters from someone I hoped for a future with. It didn’t happen. As so much didn’t. The pain came back as fresh and hurtfully as then. Oh, what we went through!!! I read some of the letters from these friends. I wept. I wept for the pain in their lives then, and in my life then, and for the missed opportunities and the broken hearts and the lives destroyed by leadership that didn’t or couldn’t care. By leadership that was misguided. By manipulation, sometimes. I wept for myself. For what I had wanted, and lost. For the plans I had, that were thwarted. I wept for the loving hearts of those who had cared and been deceived. I was reminded of the care and love we did once have for one another. For help that was genuinely given and received. What, one wonders, became of those people? May God bless them. And heal any remaining hurts or lingering pain. Without doubt I will have been a cause of pain to some. I am so sorry for that. There is a whole boxful of Corps notes and other such stuff. I am not even going to look at that. I don’t want to be reminded any more of it. This evening I am going to “burn the chaff.” The Corps notes and class notes will go. The letters from friends – letters of love and tenderness and genuine appreciation, as well as the reproof “you could do better” / “be more meek” type of letters, will all go. It'll be a good time. Maybe even with a glass or 3 of Merlot to help :). I hope to retain in my heart (and there alone) memories of good times, of genuine help and love given and received. I am thankful for the new song in my mouth, in my heart. Ps 40:3. God’s love never fails and keeps us even through the darkest places.

Missed out on all of those. Nearest I came was when we were clearing out Emporia prior to sale and J@que H rounded us worker bees all up one evening and took us to the camp fire area. It just seemed like a nice relaxing time. She seemed to enjoy it too. Nobody else around, no Ed H or LCM or anybody. Of course it would be a relaxing time.

From a well-known leadership epistle...on how to be a great leader of God's people: Nuff said. (By the by, remember: "strife" is one of the works of the flesh: Gal 5)

I've been in church meetings (real church!) when there have been little glitches - equipment doesn't work as it should, something starts when it shouldn't, the wrong words on the PowerPoint screen... and such things have always been handled most graciously - either no comment, or a good-humoured comment that so smooths the difficulty that you'd almost think it enhances the occasion. So very different from the nit-picky screamfests about not being sharp enough, not paying attention to detail, neh neh neh neh and making such an issue out of it that everyone freaks out and all they remember is how [name] got reamed out. Any positive impact or teaching is immediately overridden. Was it merely uncontrolled anger? Or was it in reality very carefully controlled anger, to elicit maximum stress and fear in the hearts of watchers - in case they themselves did something wrong. Perhaps it was a bit of both. Can't speak for VPW, was dead before I heard of TWI. But I endured enough screamfests from LCM. I'd handle those differently now (especially the personal face to face conftontations). Would get me slung out even quicker!!! LCM was manipulative too. I had a very quiet confrontation with him once. He looked at me so pained and I was told I was giving him sleepless nights with my conduct. He really didn't know why God kept putting up with me, but he (LCM) wasn't going to throw me out yet. I can't remember all the details now. It was (because he was so quiet and "patient" and "reasonable") all the more devastating. I think my crime was speaking to a male member of staff on more than a few occasions.

Anger management... now that's a big topic. You can see that those who shout and yell with "outbursts of anger" ... well, let's just say, "patience" is a fruit of the spirit and "outbursts of anger" are not. And "spiritual anger" is certainly not listed as a fruit of the spirit. Nuff said.

Yeah, Krys, I remember that...I was on Bev Crew. But he'd already recorded the AC itself. Then decided to teach it live to everyone. He'd already practised on the inrez WC, recorded some stuff... We got a nice presentation photo ... which I may still have ... D'ya know what? I just don't care. It's all a load of .... [supply your own description]. The spirit that they really couldn't discern was the spirit of God!!!! And if they can't discern that...why bother with anything else.

@ WordWolf - would you care to take the discussion whether God is good off onto another thread. It could be quite an interesting topic - but not here, please. @ Waysider - Yes, you walked outside the hedge of protection. So it's all your fault that you allowed access. Blame the victim. But that's not quite the idiom of permission in the grammatical sense. Just a giving of permission.

Back to the topic... How much time did LCM spend at Gunnison, then? When? Don't know that he ever went when I was in rez, nor in the years before. Did he become a frequent visitor when JH was there? Which inrez Corps years are you talking about him attacking ("seduction" isn't at all the right word!)? WC24, WC26, WC30, when, which? (And I bet when he went there, he didn't spend two days driving, to a strict timetable, either.)

I think it's still demisING not completely demisED yet. h the link on p.1 didn't work for me. Try this one: My link

That's exactly what I am trying to ascertain. Waydom put a lot on this figure. Actually Bullinger says very little about it. Very little. But VPW said very much. I am not saying that either is right or wrong. It comes down to a question of balance, I suppose. VPW was no expert on a good many things, grammar being one of them. In fact, his grammar and understanding of the most basic of parts of speech was appalling. I learned more than he spouted off in primary school at age - what? 8?? And much more when at secondary school (age 11) where study of English language (parsing, structure of sentences, parts of speech) was a requirement. So whenever he spouted off on some supposed explanation of English my brain would go "uh-uh." I think VPW calls this FoS "permissio." Sounds good...Bullinger never calls it that! God is good always. I don't think He brings about disasters, to anyone - after all His desire is for all to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. Everything that goes wrong, an earthquake say, is not "God's will." Though by Him all things cohere, including presumably the very rocks that suffered an earthquake. A grammatician's take on this would be interesting. There are two universities in the city I live in, but neither of them is strong on the study of languages. Otherwise I would enquire there.

The AC that LCM taught in 1992 was supposed to be new, not just rehash of VPW's. I suppose we were given some reason. I could look in my journals for the relevant time and see what pearls of wisdom were dispensed. But would any such reasons given be true anyway? Wouldn't be the first time the "truth" has changed well after the event. I didn't know he'd done another in 1998.

"unrelated business taxable income" would probably cover things like book and magazine sales, ticket sales for events (eg, the now defunct RoA), class fees. It's unrelated because it's making a profit - more than just covering the costs of producing the materials. Of course there is lots of fudge room. Printing costs, for example. (Sometimes the printing part of an entity will be hived off under a separate name.) Anyway - who cares what they call themselves? None of the names is the truth ... I don't see "den of thieves" or "nest of vipers" in their organization description.

Geisha, not only do I have TWO Companion Bibles, I also have Bullinger's Figures of Speech used in the Bible. What I want to know is: does anybody else recognize this figure of speech - idiom of permission? Or was it Bullinger's invention, and glorified by VPW? Maybe it is a figure of speech in Hebrew or Aramaic or Latin or some other language - but not in English? @ Naten: it's when the Bible says God did something, brought on some catastrophe. As God is good always, he clearly doesn't bring on catastrophes. Therefore, it is a figure of speech to say that God allowed (gave permission) for that catastrophe. EG: Gen 7:4 - "every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth." The "will I destroy" is this FoS - God allowed it to happen. (By the by - but this is NOT the idiom of permission - God, of course, intervened so that Noah, his family, various animals, etc survived. And the earth was not destroyed). Bullinger says (under section Idioma (i)(4), on page 823: "Active verbs were used by the Hebrews to express, not the doing of the thing, but the permission of the thing which the agent is said to do." This link might work: Companion Bible pages (Bet you wish you'd never asked, huh?) Waydom made such a big deal of this FoS. Looking at it again in Bullinger's books, it's such a small section you'd wonder how VPW found it -- the Companion Bible doesn't mention it.

Yes, Waysider, I tried a Google search. Wayferdom rules the roost. And googling any combination with "grammar" and "idiom" brings up kiddie stuff for learners of English. Penworks? Anybody else?

Outside of Waydom and mini-me Waydom (splinter groups), has anybody ever heard of the "idiom of permission"? If yes - in the sense promoted by VPW? Bullinger has an article on it which VPW has picked up on (plagiarized from someone else's work), of course, but apart from that? Anybody out there who has a degree in English Lit or is a grammar teacher who can shed any light? I got into a discussion with my church's "vicar theologian" (a highly educated man, with real research papers to his name) - suggested something could be this "idiom of permission" - he gave me that pained, patient "what planet are you from?" look that Wayfers become all too familiar with when speaking with "church" people. So just wondering...

Oh lunchtimes...I remember some of LCM's rants. One of 'em went on for...a couple of hours, I think. Must have been something really important. Some staff discreetly left. Most didn't. 400 or so people captive... taken away from their valuable jobs. No wonder a number of members of staff just didn't bother coming to the midday meal. And hey, it wasn't just lunchtime. We could get that for breakfast (though that was more usually the Corps Coordinator) and once in a while for the evening meal. Indigestion, anyone?

I think that just about sums it up. We got those "16 keys to walking in the spirit" and it all became paint-by-numbers, gotta do it this way, and rather than walking by the spirit, we ended up straight-jacketing the spirit. Which puts the AC in direct contravention of what God says.