Oddities of the English language

[GT]

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Edited March 4, 2007 by GreasyTech

[QuietThinker]

*snirk*

I have a similar list here on my wall by the PC, Greasy. Thanks :-)

[coolchef]

and we wonder why the illeagles can't talk the talk lol

[dmiller]

That poor soldier in number six. :(

:P

[QuietThinker]

That poor soldier in number six. :(

:P

Too right, David....

You'd never catch ME leaving my tiramisu behind for any reason.

Which one glance at me should make obvious!

[Psalm 71 one]

THIS one's MY FAVORITE!

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

[oenophile]

I was driving to the bank when suddenly I swerved to miss a thirsty deer as it crossed the road to get to the bank of the stream which caused me bank off the guardrail.

Edited March 5, 2007 by oenophile

[T-Bone]

This stuff is way too cool!!!!! I love that list, Greasy Tech! I’ve copied that to my hard drive. And Quiet Thinker, I’d love to see the one you have…Man oh man, this stuff is more challenging than chewing gum and walking – which I’m believing to pull off sometime this year.

[dmiller]

A pair of drawers came to decorate a pair of drawers on a bedroom dresser.

They were too poor to afford underwear, so I went to the pair of drawers,

and from each pulled out a pair of drawers, which I gave to the pair of drawers,

before they began to decorate the pair of drawers.

After the pair of drawers were done, they took my check for payment,

and became a pair of drawers out of my bank account.

Edited March 5, 2007 by dmiller

[washingtonweather]

Funny - My Aural Rehabilitation teacher handed us this list "y english is difficult" same exact sentences. We are looking at it in light of the hard of hearing client not able to distinguish sound-symbol relationships.

Its a pain for some of us--imagine a person growing up almost deaf trying to learn how to say it when reading it.

[Zshot]

If EVERY rule has an exception, what is the exception to this rule?

[Mr Incredible]

shucks....

I think Greasy used up all the good ones! :(

DMiller, thats too funny!!

Michael

Edited March 5, 2007 by Michael B.

[krys]

If EVERY rule has an exception, what is the exception to this rule?

Well Zshot - - do you want that in inches or centimeters?

[Kit Sober]

My favorite turn to #7,

Every moment is a gift from God, that's why we call it the present.

[ChattyKathy]

Great thread.

[Sushi]

In the Greater NY metropolitan, area they park in driveways and drive on parkways.

Edited March 15, 2007 by Sushi

[Twinky]

Well actually there are lots of verbs with similar nouns, where the emphasis is different:

I went to record a new record

And there are those where there is no variation in emphasis:

You need to exact the exact details

Did digging the well go well?

I taught English as a second language. My students (bless their hearts) really did their best but it wasn't easy for them. We had many laughs when their errors were explained. I learned a lot too. Unfortunately I can't recall at the moment too many of the gaffes.

Add to the written indistinguishable the hearingly indistinguishable...

Where can you find something to wear?

There are their things, but they're not there with them

Why's that happening, it's not wise

There are fishers in the fissures

[T-Bone]

A few oddities in phrasing:

I’m really looking forward to the day when I can look back on all this.

If you’d like, I’ll let you offer me a cup of cappuccino.

Hurry up and approach frantic speed before something good happens.

Some people have a way with words – and some people…not have way. […or something like that from an old Steve Martin routine]

[FreeAtLast]

You say it's no wonder the international folks have a problem with our language. Heck no wonder our kids have a problem with their own language. My head is spinning!! lol

[coolchef]

here is a lame one

if you buy a new truck do you

pickup your new pickup?

[doojable]

Here's a tongue twister:

If Stu chews shoes, should Stu choose to stew the shoes he chews?

Edited March 15, 2007 by doojable