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The New and Improved MAL pack


Ham
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1. Ten pounds of chocolate..

2. Cigarettes (if you smoke)

3. Something ELSE to smoke (if you smoke THAT)

4. A couple of kegs of beer, a case of Cabernet, peppermint schnaps, vodka, rum, whiskey, tonic water, and REAL coka cola (for the purists)

5. Ten bags of potato chips, name brand

6. Pepto Bismol

7. A couple boxes of Alka Seltzer

8. Condoms, can't be too careful forget that, what's the big deal with a disease at the end of the world..

:biglaugh:

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You know.. I could probably make a pretty good living selling New and Improved MAL packs..

hmmmm..

Have to have a warning label on it:

"Do not open until the end of the world"..

Don't want any lawsuits or legal consequences..

:biglaugh:

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”I wonder if a similar version of this MAL pack is how some of us got here..” da squirrel

Maybe we were just looking for one…and settled for coffee and doughnuts instead. Dang, a counterfeit.

Standard issue MAL pack should include: (In the event of flood in kitchen while watching “Psycho”)

1 pair pink high-heeled shoes (rise above the world)

1 red-orange rain hat (helmet of salvation)

1 pair underwear (gird your loins with truth). (Why is one thing called a “pair?”)

Other necessities:

1 very large glass (so as not to exceed 2 drink limit and to prevent one’s cup from running over…)

1 very large bandaid (cover whatever ails ya). (mmmm…maybe several. Maybe tons of them. Pass them out.).

Prepared on all points. Spiritually equipped. Ready and willing. For this purpose I cared. MAL packs over the world.

Wear your MAL pack with pride and dignity and avoid foolish questions.

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I would contribute if I remembered what was in the original MAL pack.

From what I recall ... there were guns and lotsa millet. And wool sweaters.

Mountain cider maybe? For first aid of course.

Gold and silver.

hmmm .. there is prolly a thread on this somewhere ...

I'm not sure where you are going with the chartreuse bra and ear muffs oh squirrelly one ... :biglaugh:

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I'm not sure where you are going with the chartreuse bra and ear muffs oh squirrelly one ... :biglaugh:

LEAD of course! :biglaugh:

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Those aren't earmuffs. They are supposed to be pink(?) ears with pink earings..

What can you expect out of Microsoft Paintbrush?

:biglaugh:

LEAD of course! :biglaugh:

Yeah. Who needs ropes and climbing stuff when you have.. well, what Rhino called them..

:biglaugh:

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Ah Sea Sponges the contraceptive of choice, They are alot like tampons, they may not be #1 but they are right up there!

When you are through using them they serve other uses for the smart MAL (adjusted) person. such as dish duty or, a replacement for an old luffah. What's that I hear... Dental Floss substitute

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  • 3 months later...

Haha - Lliving where I live - which can include earthquakes or hurricanes -- it's not a bad idea.

I know you all are having fun with The Way mentality -- but we're actually taught to put together something (out side of religion).

Always have water - gallons

non perishable foods such as peanut butter, canned foods, canned soups, crackers, wrapped granolla bars,, etc.

batteries

portable radio - so you can know what is going on

flashlight(s)

candles

matches/lighters

BBQ grill, portable

games - because you do get really bored when there is no tv, internet, microwave, phone, etc.

first aid kit

fire extengisher (as electric lines fall and grilling can can sometimes be flamable)

plastic utensils as our water was off for days so we ate out of cans

And -- I know this is bad -- but where I live plenty of alcohol to help you through.....I'm not saying it's right........it's called a Hurricane party.

I've lived a week with no electricy due to hurricanes and days before that (every item in my fridge was dumped). These above items I mentioned are really important.

Thank you for reminding me.

Stores are raided and water and food is hard to find in a time of urgency - I've experienced it first hand. Therefore, it's not a bad idea to put something together....don't go all crazy about it...but be prepared.

Edited by Outfield
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In September, 1989 we lived in Charleston, SC with Hurricane Hugo struck. Hugo was a bad number, dwarfed of course by later, even worse storms such as Andrew and Katrina. We had no electricity for two weeks, but lots of help from the corporation which employed my husband. Here are a few things I learned the hard way:

Never let your gas tank on your car be less than half full.

A push sweeper like they use in restaurants is helpful if you live on carpet.

An alternate means of cooking, i.e. gas or better yet charcoal grill is important. Keep charcoal and lighter on hand.

Canned food and bottled water.

Keep any prescription medications filled.

If you live in an area where there may be looting a firearm would be helpful.

Candles, flashlights, batteries. If you have any equipment that runs on batteries, i.e.a clock, a radio, or in my case, an insulin pump, make sure you have new batteries to use if needed. (I didn't have an insulin pump then but do now, so I'm thinking ahead in case of a hurricane in Ohio).

WG

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I would contribute if I remembered what was in the original MAL pack.

From what I recall ... there were guns and lotsa millet. And wool sweaters.

Just in case of a zombie attack... or in case you had to shoot your oven because it wants to eat you! Damn the technology!

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  • 1 month later...
Don't know if that was meant as a pun or not...but sure made me laugh :biglaugh:

Followed by a hearty "eeewwww" on the follow up use for dish duty!

The dental floss did me in!

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