Well, I figured that since the opposite question was posed, I would ask this for the boys. For starters, I would like to say that one thing men want in women is lots and lots of unbridled and torrid sex... :)
Paging Honnalee...paging Honnalee....
There's a Mr. Lingo on the line...he keeps talking about some t-shirt...
I think it's like trying to hold down a cube of Jello in a vise..
They are ALWAYS what they are on the list, unless they aren't what's on the list on that particular day, but that little fact itself is an item on the list..
My %*#@, mostly. My tongue and fingers sometimes too.
Oh, that's not what you meant in your question?
Ok, well I like my wife quite a bit. She is better for my needs than other women, so I would have to say that I like what she has. She's beautiful, she has a calm, happy and caring personality, and she is very intelligent. It's pretty basic stuff but really hard to find. Most of the women I've known are nutcases. I don't know if this is as a result of something I've done or just their natural state, but it isn't pleasant to be with a crazy person. When I met my wife, she was refreshing to me because she was a sane person. That made a huge difference to me.
Thanks Dooj. I guess you just want to stir it up. Really. This is a serious thread.
Jonny - you negated any seriousness with your first post. If you wanted to be serious you would have spoken more highly of the wonderful qualities of your very own sweet wife.
As far as any stirring goes... you've been known to ladle it on pretty thick.
Jonny - you negated any seriousness with your first post.
I negated any seriousness by saying that? I was and am dead serious about "that", that "yucky" thing. And, by the way, I started out by saying this:
For starters, I would like to say that one thing men want in women is lots and lots of unbridled and torrid sex... smile
And so, good and plenty of sex is something not to be taken seriously huh? Glad I married my wife instead of someone like you who thinks of that subject as something that ought not to be taken seriously! I just said that first to get that one out of the way, because with most men, that is a very important part of married life. But, I guess it is just a joke to some. Thought I would say that first before going into the "Oh, a woman needs to be honest and bright, independent and intelligent" stuff.
And so, yeah, I love my woman because she likes to take long walks while holding hands, loves the outdoors and camping, loves the opera and old classic movies. I love my woman because she loves to share hearts, and just loves it when I come home with a bouquet of roses just "out of the blue" when it is not even our anniversary or Valentines Day. She loves it when I cook dinner and have the table set before she comes home from work, with candle light for two and a bottle of Korbel in the champagne bucket. And she loves it when she finds me wearing her apron while I test marinara sauce, toss the salad, while playfully flipping fettucini against the window glass over the sink to see if it's ready. And I love it that she loves that....yeah.....
Well, beyond the obvious (sensational looks, lots of money, brains, and nymphomania), I think it's important to have a woman who doesn't consider you a fixer-upper. This is me. Love me, or leave me alone.
I negated any seriousness by saying that? I was and am dead serious about "that", that "yucky" thing. And, by the way, I started out by saying this:
Yeah, I think Dooj hit the nail on the head, actually.
To say that the first and most important thing men want from or in a woman is sex is FAR from thoughtful.
I doubt that any adult that's been awake at all since they first hit puberty would know THAT without having to state it explicitly.
Therefore, you having posted it as a starter to this thread kinda sets the tone as NOT being a genuinely thoughtful or reflective thread or expecting any one to post thoughtful, reflective responses.
As an attempt to RE-direct (which others probably did before me) this TO being genuinely reflective, I would have to ask you if you genuinely believe that the bottom line (NO pun intended) is that men (or any particular man) wants hot sex more than, or at the expense of, having a genuinely compatible, deep and soulful friend/companion.
My understanding is that even if a man had a wife with a voracious desire for sex, if there is conflict around other major aspects of the relationship, the sex WILL suffer.
However, given my experience (too little, not very satisfying), I'm not so sure I would be able to make a sufficiently succinct or concise statement of what qualities, skills, personality or whatever in a woman as a wife or significant other.
We don't always get what we want, but we can keep on dreamin'.
Seriously though I think most men really want a women who will
1- Love us for who we are, not who they want us to be.
2-Not be too judgemental-because that drives us mental.
3-Be willing to give a little, because we always think we are right even when we realize we are wrong. Sometimes we need a little nudge in the right direction.
4-And it helps when you have similar interests. Figure that out before you get too involved or he will be golfing all day and you'll be sittin' home watching Oprah. (Most men are going to say what's wrong with that.)
And now that my "for starters" has been said, I will say that Polar Bear had some excellent points which also were mentioned by George St Gee.
PB said:
Love us for who we are, not who they want us to be.
No kidding. My daughter has a boy friend, with whom she is about to break up, who has characteristics that she is not happy with. And she had mentioned that maybe over the years, "Phil will change". And my wife and I both told her that you don't marry someone with the thought in mind that you will "change him" over the years. You marry someone because you love who they are, not what you hope they will become. Something I have heard Dr. Laura say numerous times.
And I can't remember exactly how George ST. G said it after he mentioned nymphomania as one pre-requesite, but he said something like "if you don't like who I am, leave me alone!" It's just that I can't go back and re-read it, copy and paste without losing this post in progress.
But yes, by all means, I think it paramount for my woman to love me for who and what I am. Obviously when we are young and then marry, we don't know everything about our future spouse, but we can get a good feel for them and their persona before we tie the knot. And once we tie it, well, we live with our choice and love them come hell, highwater, good times and bad...
Oh. Here is George's quote:
I think it's important to have a woman who doesn't consider you a fixer-upper. This is me. Love me, or leave me alone.
I think that the only other girl I was engaged to (for two years while we went through the Corps) considered me to be a "fixer upper", and so, I finally wised up and called it off.
PB said:No kidding. My daughter has a boy friend, with whom she is about to break up, who has characteristics that she is not happy with. And she had mentioned that maybe over the years, "Phil will change". And my wife and I both told her that you don't marry someone with the thought in mind that you will "change him" over the years. You marry someone because you love who they are, not what you hope they will become. Something I have heard Dr. Laura say numerous times.
It must be a tremendous relief to know your daughter is actually listening to mom and dad on something important like this! That is, regardless of whether you heard some nut job say it numerous times before.
I have believed in that principle long before I ever heard of Dr. Laura. Not that you indicated the opposite of that Rocky. She just happened to agree with me on that one. And yes, she is a pretty weird chick it seems. Sometimes I have agreed with her and like her "tough love approach", but other times I have thought her a major biotch! I think she is way too loose with her "Just divorce him" attitude. I mean, whatever happened to "in sickness and in health, till death do you part" ya know?
And yeah, we are breathing a collective sigh of relief on our daughter's decision on this one. The boyfriend is a graduate of the Maine Maritime Academy, Is a First Engineer on Alaska's newest fast ferry the M/V Chenega, makes huge money, has lots of toys (new sport fishing boat for Alaskan waters, ATV's, snow machines, blah blah) and a house of his own in Ketchikan, but, he drinks too much (binges), and is very introverted, and just isn't Tialani's "cup of tea". And so, she is fine at 22 to keep on looking around and enjoying life in the meantime. My only problem with her breaking it off with this guy is that it will definitely break his heart, and I will feel bad for him. He is a really nice guy, and I certainly appreciate the fact that he has loved my daughter. And maybe she will learn something about how serious "having a boyfriend" can be, and that hearts are very tender...
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.
Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"
Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said . "We may not have 45 minutes."
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.
The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"
Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."
Al said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy.
What do you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
I have believed in that principle long before I ever heard of Dr. Laura. Not that you indicated the opposite of that Rocky. She just happened to agree with me on that one. And yes, she is a pretty weird chick it seems.
And yeah, we are breathing a collective sigh of relief on our daughter's decision on this one. The boyfriend is a graduate of the Maine Maritime Academy, Is a First Engineer on Alaska's newest fast ferry the M/V Chenega, makes huge money, has lots of toys (new sport fishing boat for Alaskan waters, ATV's, snow machines, blah blah) and a house of his own in Ketchikan, but, he drinks too much (binges), and is very introverted, and just isn't Tialani's "cup of tea". And so, she is fine at 22 to keep on looking around and enjoying life in the meantime. My only problem with her breaking it off with this guy is that it will definitely break his heart, and I will feel bad for him. He is a really nice guy, and I certainly appreciate the fact that he has loved my daughter. And maybe she will learn something about how serious "having a boyfriend" can be, and that hearts are very tender...
That's pretty much what I figured... And let's hope this guy can cope with the break up in a way that doesn't put ANYone at risk.
I always thought it was, "show up naked and bring beer." Guess that's why I'm single.
In the SHORT TERM, that's probably not an unreasonable assessment...
Someone who accepts us just the way we are - idiot-syncracies and all --- isn't that the primary thing any of us want?
I can see the issue over a female trying to fix-me-up into something else. I can not say that I have ever experienced such, but I can see where it might not be comfortable. However the attention might be nice.
As for being judgemental, I guess that I was fortunate in finding a female who has mostly the same set of beliefs that I have, so generally our viewpoints are the same.
I think that we all need to be willing to give a little, to consider that we might just be wrong, and to give each other a little nudge every now and again.
I can also see the idea of having similar interests. But we are two separate individuals with separate interests. So long as we can agree on common goals, that is important. Neither of us plays golf, neither of us watches much TV, we can be separate yet working towards a common good.
There is only one thing that we argue about, there is only one thing that I feel to be a real need in marriage.
I can and do cook, I can clean, I take children to school and the doctor, I do most of our laundry, ...
When I worked fulltime in my career I was focused on that, and she did the more domestic stuff. Now that I have retired, she has picked up a nearly fulltime career and I have taken over the more domestic stuff.
Which remains there is still just one topic about which we disagree. And it does become a large cloud hanging over us.
I do not see where a 'nymphomaniac' is very realistic, or plausible. I would like to think that I would be happy with a wife being in the mood monthly.
Not just the regular PMS 'she-bear' mood swing that comes through every two to three weeks, but a kinder gentler wanting to cuddle and be held kind of mood.
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doojable
Paging Honnalee...paging Honnalee....
There's a Mr. Lingo on the line...he keeps talking about some t-shirt...
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J0nny Ling0
Thanks Dooj. I guess you just want to stir it up. Really. This is a serious thread.
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Ham
Maybe it is a question not to ask..
I think it's like trying to hold down a cube of Jello in a vise..
They are ALWAYS what they are on the list, unless they aren't what's on the list on that particular day, but that little fact itself is an item on the list..
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Mister P-Mosh
What do I want in a woman?
My %*#@, mostly. My tongue and fingers sometimes too.
Oh, that's not what you meant in your question?
Ok, well I like my wife quite a bit. She is better for my needs than other women, so I would have to say that I like what she has. She's beautiful, she has a calm, happy and caring personality, and she is very intelligent. It's pretty basic stuff but really hard to find. Most of the women I've known are nutcases. I don't know if this is as a result of something I've done or just their natural state, but it isn't pleasant to be with a crazy person. When I met my wife, she was refreshing to me because she was a sane person. That made a huge difference to me.
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doojable
Jonny - you negated any seriousness with your first post. If you wanted to be serious you would have spoken more highly of the wonderful qualities of your very own sweet wife.
As far as any stirring goes... you've been known to ladle it on pretty thick.
I'll keep quiet now and let you guys continue...
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J0nny Ling0
And so, good and plenty of sex is something not to be taken seriously huh? Glad I married my wife instead of someone like you who thinks of that subject as something that ought not to be taken seriously! I just said that first to get that one out of the way, because with most men, that is a very important part of married life. But, I guess it is just a joke to some. Thought I would say that first before going into the "Oh, a woman needs to be honest and bright, independent and intelligent" stuff.
And so, yeah, I love my woman because she likes to take long walks while holding hands, loves the outdoors and camping, loves the opera and old classic movies. I love my woman because she loves to share hearts, and just loves it when I come home with a bouquet of roses just "out of the blue" when it is not even our anniversary or Valentines Day. She loves it when I cook dinner and have the table set before she comes home from work, with candle light for two and a bottle of Korbel in the champagne bucket. And she loves it when she finds me wearing her apron while I test marinara sauce, toss the salad, while playfully flipping fettucini against the window glass over the sink to see if it's ready. And I love it that she loves that....yeah.....
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doojable
Jonny - I mistook your meaning and you apparently mistook mine...
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GeorgeStGeorge
Well, beyond the obvious (sensational looks, lots of money, brains, and nymphomania), I think it's important to have a woman who doesn't consider you a fixer-upper. This is me. Love me, or leave me alone.
George
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Rocky
Yeah, I think Dooj hit the nail on the head, actually.
To say that the first and most important thing men want from or in a woman is sex is FAR from thoughtful.
I doubt that any adult that's been awake at all since they first hit puberty would know THAT without having to state it explicitly.
Therefore, you having posted it as a starter to this thread kinda sets the tone as NOT being a genuinely thoughtful or reflective thread or expecting any one to post thoughtful, reflective responses.
As an attempt to RE-direct (which others probably did before me) this TO being genuinely reflective, I would have to ask you if you genuinely believe that the bottom line (NO pun intended) is that men (or any particular man) wants hot sex more than, or at the expense of, having a genuinely compatible, deep and soulful friend/companion.
My understanding is that even if a man had a wife with a voracious desire for sex, if there is conflict around other major aspects of the relationship, the sex WILL suffer.
However, given my experience (too little, not very satisfying), I'm not so sure I would be able to make a sufficiently succinct or concise statement of what qualities, skills, personality or whatever in a woman as a wife or significant other.
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polar bear
Remember Jonny said what "men" want.
We don't always get what we want, but we can keep on dreamin'.
Seriously though I think most men really want a women who will
1- Love us for who we are, not who they want us to be.
2-Not be too judgemental-because that drives us mental.
3-Be willing to give a little, because we always think we are right even when we realize we are wrong. Sometimes we need a little nudge in the right direction.
4-And it helps when you have similar interests. Figure that out before you get too involved or he will be golfing all day and you'll be sittin' home watching Oprah. (Most men are going to say what's wrong with that.)
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J0nny Ling0
And now that my "for starters" has been said, I will say that Polar Bear had some excellent points which also were mentioned by George St Gee.
PB said:
No kidding. My daughter has a boy friend, with whom she is about to break up, who has characteristics that she is not happy with. And she had mentioned that maybe over the years, "Phil will change". And my wife and I both told her that you don't marry someone with the thought in mind that you will "change him" over the years. You marry someone because you love who they are, not what you hope they will become. Something I have heard Dr. Laura say numerous times.And I can't remember exactly how George ST. G said it after he mentioned nymphomania as one pre-requesite, but he said something like "if you don't like who I am, leave me alone!" It's just that I can't go back and re-read it, copy and paste without losing this post in progress.
But yes, by all means, I think it paramount for my woman to love me for who and what I am. Obviously when we are young and then marry, we don't know everything about our future spouse, but we can get a good feel for them and their persona before we tie the knot. And once we tie it, well, we live with our choice and love them come hell, highwater, good times and bad...
Oh. Here is George's quote:
I think that the only other girl I was engaged to (for two years while we went through the Corps) considered me to be a "fixer upper", and so, I finally wised up and called it off.
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Rocky
It must be a tremendous relief to know your daughter is actually listening to mom and dad on something important like this! That is, regardless of whether you heard some nut job say it numerous times before.
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J0nny Ling0
For the record:
I have believed in that principle long before I ever heard of Dr. Laura. Not that you indicated the opposite of that Rocky. She just happened to agree with me on that one. And yes, she is a pretty weird chick it seems. Sometimes I have agreed with her and like her "tough love approach", but other times I have thought her a major biotch! I think she is way too loose with her "Just divorce him" attitude. I mean, whatever happened to "in sickness and in health, till death do you part" ya know?
And yeah, we are breathing a collective sigh of relief on our daughter's decision on this one. The boyfriend is a graduate of the Maine Maritime Academy, Is a First Engineer on Alaska's newest fast ferry the M/V Chenega, makes huge money, has lots of toys (new sport fishing boat for Alaskan waters, ATV's, snow machines, blah blah) and a house of his own in Ketchikan, but, he drinks too much (binges), and is very introverted, and just isn't Tialani's "cup of tea". And so, she is fine at 22 to keep on looking around and enjoying life in the meantime. My only problem with her breaking it off with this guy is that it will definitely break his heart, and I will feel bad for him. He is a really nice guy, and I certainly appreciate the fact that he has loved my daughter. And maybe she will learn something about how serious "having a boyfriend" can be, and that hearts are very tender...
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Belle
I always thought it was, "show up naked and bring beer." Guess that's why I'm single.
Seriously, sex is not a big part of a relationship unless it's not satisfactory - then it's the biggest problem.
Someone who accepts us just the way we are - idiot-syncracies and all --- isn't that the primary thing any of us want?
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GeorgeStGeorge
Is that because you didn't bring beer?
George
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likeaneagle
hhhmmmm
sorry, I added a new signature line this morn...
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J0nny Ling0
Good one George! And Belle, next time show up with the beer!
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doojable
Good points Belle.
I shouldn't have jumped on this thread so quickly. I have a real sarcastic streak and my humor came out wrong.
OTOH - I felt exactly the same way as Belle here when I posted that first post.
Maybe I can take that one step further - the "hot" factor in sex is great. But if there is no relationship then even hot sex cools to being lukewarm.
Then again, I'm not a man - so what do I know...
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Scout Finch02
Maybe the problem is in the assumption that all men want the same thing in women. Or am I misunderstanding the question?
Or should the question be more specific. Such as what does the stereotypical man want in the stereotypical woman he intends to:
a. Have sex without strings (or training wheels) attached
b. Marry, cohabit and reproduce with
Just wondering. Have no idea anyway.
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excathedra
just believe god
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polar bear
Belle-This is for you-
l LOVE BEER.
I'm not responsible for these bad jokes=
My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn't.
--------------------------------------------------
Marriage is a three-ring circus:
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-------------------------------------------------
For Sale :
Wedding dress, size 8.
Worn once by mistake.
-------------------------------------------------
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman:
Before marriage and after marriage.
-------------------------------------------------
Why were hurricanes usually named after women?
Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but
when they go, they take your house and car.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.
"Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied.? "I've been divorced three times."
----------------------------------------------------------------
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation,
"I now pronounce you man and wife."
----------------------------------------------------------------
Reason Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
All the DNA is the same.
---------------------------------------------------------------
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.
Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"
Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?
----------------------------------------------------------------
Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said . "We may not have 45 minutes."
They were seated immediately.
----------------------------------------------------- ----------
The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.
----------------------------------------------------------------
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.
The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"
Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."
Al said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"
----------------------------------------------------------------
Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord... "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute."
Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."
Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute."
----------------------------------------------------------------
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy.
What do you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
----------------------------------------------------------------
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.
"Give me one last request, dear," he said.
"Of course, John," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.
With his last breath John said, "I do!"
----------------------------------------------------------------
A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi , very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours.
You want my advice?"
The man said yes and the Rabbi replied,
"Take the poison"
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Ham
Honestly.. I wouldn't ask anything from another human being that I myself wouldn't be comfortable, or even happy to provide..
I don't even know if it is fair to ask.
people are.. well, people.. even if you THINK you know them..
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Rocky
That's pretty much what I figured...
And let's hope this guy can cope with the break up in a way that doesn't put ANYone at risk.
In the SHORT TERM, that's probably not an unreasonable assessment...
Indeed.
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Galen
I can see the issue over a female trying to fix-me-up into something else. I can not say that I have ever experienced such, but I can see where it might not be comfortable. However the attention might be nice.
As for being judgemental, I guess that I was fortunate in finding a female who has mostly the same set of beliefs that I have, so generally our viewpoints are the same.
I think that we all need to be willing to give a little, to consider that we might just be wrong, and to give each other a little nudge every now and again.
I can also see the idea of having similar interests. But we are two separate individuals with separate interests. So long as we can agree on common goals, that is important. Neither of us plays golf, neither of us watches much TV, we can be separate yet working towards a common good.
There is only one thing that we argue about, there is only one thing that I feel to be a real need in marriage.
I can and do cook, I can clean, I take children to school and the doctor, I do most of our laundry, ...
When I worked fulltime in my career I was focused on that, and she did the more domestic stuff. Now that I have retired, she has picked up a nearly fulltime career and I have taken over the more domestic stuff.
Which remains there is still just one topic about which we disagree. And it does become a large cloud hanging over us.
I do not see where a 'nymphomaniac' is very realistic, or plausible. I would like to think that I would be happy with a wife being in the mood monthly.
Not just the regular PMS 'she-bear' mood swing that comes through every two to three weeks, but a kinder gentler wanting to cuddle and be held kind of mood.
:)
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