I never considered planning my funeral, etc., until my husband died a young man at 35 and we had no idea what the heck he might have wanted, save for a few comments here and there he's made. And it didn't make any differance anyway since TWI did their thing.
That changed my tune real quick. A couple of years later I wrote it all down, got it notarized, witnessed, all that.
I also have a minor child so I was happy to set up guardianship for her too, as well as finances for her care.
I'm glad I did it.
It's not fun, it's a little tough to write some of it, but I figure it'll make things a little less stressful for my kids or my brothers if I die while my youngest is still a minor.
Also, just because I tell my kids if they put me in the ground whole I'll find them and scare the bejeezus outa them, doesn't mean they'll actually cremate me unless it's in writing, legal.
I highly recommend everyone have their wishes, funeral desires or specify no funeral, whatever they want.
Hell, my information even gives a few contact numbers for this place.
Whatever TWI told you was pure B.S. Even their doctrine supposedly doesn't line up with what you said they told you, so it sounds like it was just a jackass Way Corpse trying to make you afraid.
Anyway, as to funeral arrangements, I guess I haven't thought about it much. I should come up with instructions, because one of my greatest worries about the whole thing is that it would be cheesy or too lame. Whenever I go, I don't want it to be a boring time with everyone crying. In fact, I'd prefer the viking funeral, it's just that finding a young beautiful virgin to get stoned chain to my boat while it's on fire and pushed out to sea is currently illegal. I'm joking about that part, but actually being sent out into the ocean in a boat that is on fire does sound kind of like a cool funeral to me. Especially if everyone gets drunk and eats a lot afterwards.
Anyway, I feel sorry for you and your family, and I hope that none of us have to face death anytime soon.
I understand. That's why I no longer go to church.
You'll look around one day and not even remember what twi taught, I'm sure.
For families like mine who have at least one control freak sibling, I think it is wonderful if the parents plan their funerals. That should make it easier to just say that you want to go along with your parents wishes and hopefully eliminate any arguments.
So, I'm FOR parents or anyone planning their own funerals.
what a stressful time this must be for your family - my heart goes out to you on this one...
I'm sorry to hear that your MIL has resigned to the fact she's actively dying and isn't willing to seek a second opinion or other options for her treatment. When someone reaches that point in their life stage it's best to let them go.
The funeral planning is something you'll be thankful for later on. Your family won't be in the position of having to make major decisions at an already stressful, emotional time in their lives. They will be able to focus more on grieving. The planning also gives your MIL a way to still feel like she's in control of something in her life - something she still has a "say" in when it seems like so many other things aren't in her command anymore.
As far as your feeling that you're "screwed" well... you're in good company, as you're here with all of us other cop outs. We're equally screwed. If TWI's leadership was any example as to how I should live life, I'd say I'm a far better person - a better Christian, even - WITHOUT THEM. No thanks. See, they're dead already - they've just forgotten to fall down. You can't live without a heart, right?
Well.. you have a heart... you're alive... and I appreciate your sharing what's going on in your life now with this situation. I'm sorry you're going through this - man, I really am. Let us know what we can do for you - even if you just need to vent or share or whatever - we're here.
You know darn well there's gonna be a funeral, so you might as well tell 'em how to do it. You are very important to so many people and very loved. The TRUE GOD - not the god TWI and those "Vine" people worship - loves and cares for you more than you can ever know.
My body donated to science so there's no body for the family to have to deal with. They are to have a keg party and roast - I've given folks plenty to laugh about in my lifetime and I suspect that by the time I'm gone, they will have no excuse for not coming up with something to bring up and laugh at. I want all laughter and no crying allowed.
When my aunt died I sat at her funeral laughing because I knew Susan would have a cow if she knew they were having a traditional funeral for her. She had quit going to church many years earlier and was more into metaphysical stuff. The last thing she would have wanted for her funeral was a "Christian" minister and traditional hymns. BUT, she never told anyone so that's what she got.
It's really helpful for the family, too. It's so hard to think when a loved one dies. Knowing what they would want and how they'd like to be remembered helps ease some of that burden.
My sense is that your "screwed again" comments underlie your understanding of what c r a p you were being fed.
In my view, hospice can be a wonderful ministry of caring for people at the end of their lives. Of course, it can be a mess, too, depending on how it's done. All I can say is that you and yours are in my prayers as you go through this together. I love you!
Funerals are for the living, not for the dead. Let her friends and relatives celebrate her life. For that matter, let your friends and relatives celebrate your life when you die.
When we left TWI in 1994, we had freshly been taught that at the moment one leaves, whether of one's own volition or the leadership decides you are no longer worthy of the privilege of fellowshipping with TWI, AT THAT VERY MOMENT the spirit (Christ) within you dies. You are no longer born again. You are a natural man of body and soul, without God and without hope in this world. And you can't get born again, again.
They might wanna recheck their teachings ,that certainly is not what was taught in PFAL.
Ephesians 2
5Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)
6And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
7That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.
8For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9Not of works, lest any man should boast.
10For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
11Wherefore remember, that ye being in time past Gentiles in the flesh, who are called Uncircumcision by that which is called the Circumcision in the flesh made by hands;
12That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world:
13But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ.
14For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us;
15Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace;
16And that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby:
17And came and preached peace to you which were afar off, and to them that were nigh.
18For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father.
19Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God;
If one received the spirit while being dead in sins then even if one were in sin by leaving as they thought..... if the spirit could
abide in us when we were dead in sin I doubt that more sin would necessitate it leaving. Isn't that the point of incorruptible seed?
I KNOW it wasn't in PFAL. Those sacred words issued from from the lips of the 18th WC grad who was The Man of God for that city. From the portentious way he said them, I expect he learned at the feet of LCM.
And also it's not in the Bible either. Romans 8:35-39.
You apparently had the good fortune to not be around LCM's teachings very much.
One really neat thing, though, that is so typical of this wonderful woman, is that she is concerned that not only her wishes be honored but those of her children. She has four surviving children, one very Catholic, one Methodist, one Grace Brethren, and us, The Journey Fellowship, which is nondenominational, Bible-based. She asked them to select the readings and Scriptural-related stuff to be used. John will speak. It may well be that the six grandsons will be pallbearers.
I am rethinking my initial horror at funeral planning. I think it would be easier on Mr. Garden, the Sprout, and the Sprout's Sprouts if I did it well in advance (I hope) of my eventual demise.
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Shellon
I never considered planning my funeral, etc., until my husband died a young man at 35 and we had no idea what the heck he might have wanted, save for a few comments here and there he's made. And it didn't make any differance anyway since TWI did their thing.
That changed my tune real quick. A couple of years later I wrote it all down, got it notarized, witnessed, all that.
I also have a minor child so I was happy to set up guardianship for her too, as well as finances for her care.
I'm glad I did it.
It's not fun, it's a little tough to write some of it, but I figure it'll make things a little less stressful for my kids or my brothers if I die while my youngest is still a minor.
Also, just because I tell my kids if they put me in the ground whole I'll find them and scare the bejeezus outa them, doesn't mean they'll actually cremate me unless it's in writing, legal.
I highly recommend everyone have their wishes, funeral desires or specify no funeral, whatever they want.
Hell, my information even gives a few contact numbers for this place.
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Watered Garden
Thanks, Shellon.
TWI really screwed up everything they touched, didn't they/
WG
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Mister P-Mosh
WG,
Whatever TWI told you was pure B.S. Even their doctrine supposedly doesn't line up with what you said they told you, so it sounds like it was just a jackass Way Corpse trying to make you afraid.
Anyway, as to funeral arrangements, I guess I haven't thought about it much. I should come up with instructions, because one of my greatest worries about the whole thing is that it would be cheesy or too lame. Whenever I go, I don't want it to be a boring time with everyone crying. In fact, I'd prefer the viking funeral, it's just that finding a young beautiful virgin to get stoned chain to my boat while it's on fire and pushed out to sea is currently illegal. I'm joking about that part, but actually being sent out into the ocean in a boat that is on fire does sound kind of like a cool funeral to me. Especially if everyone gets drunk and eats a lot afterwards.
Anyway, I feel sorry for you and your family, and I hope that none of us have to face death anytime soon.
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waterbuffalo
(((((WG)))))
I understand. That's why I no longer go to church.
You'll look around one day and not even remember what twi taught, I'm sure.
For families like mine who have at least one control freak sibling, I think it is wonderful if the parents plan their funerals. That should make it easier to just say that you want to go along with your parents wishes and hopefully eliminate any arguments.
So, I'm FOR parents or anyone planning their own funerals.
Mister P-Mosh, love your idea!
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GrouchoMarxJr
Funeral plans?...
"throw my brain in a hurricane. the blind can have my eyes. the deaf can have both my ears if they don't mind the size."
...John Prine
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ChasUFarley
(((WG)))
what a stressful time this must be for your family - my heart goes out to you on this one...
I'm sorry to hear that your MIL has resigned to the fact she's actively dying and isn't willing to seek a second opinion or other options for her treatment. When someone reaches that point in their life stage it's best to let them go.
The funeral planning is something you'll be thankful for later on. Your family won't be in the position of having to make major decisions at an already stressful, emotional time in their lives. They will be able to focus more on grieving. The planning also gives your MIL a way to still feel like she's in control of something in her life - something she still has a "say" in when it seems like so many other things aren't in her command anymore.
As far as your feeling that you're "screwed" well... you're in good company, as you're here with all of us other cop outs. We're equally screwed. If TWI's leadership was any example as to how I should live life, I'd say I'm a far better person - a better Christian, even - WITHOUT THEM. No thanks. See, they're dead already - they've just forgotten to fall down. You can't live without a heart, right?
Well.. you have a heart... you're alive... and I appreciate your sharing what's going on in your life now with this situation. I'm sorry you're going through this - man, I really am. Let us know what we can do for you - even if you just need to vent or share or whatever - we're here.
Love,
-Krista
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Belle
(((((WG)))))
You know darn well there's gonna be a funeral, so you might as well tell 'em how to do it.
You are very important to so many people and very loved. 
The TRUE GOD - not the god TWI and those "Vine" people worship - loves and cares for you more than you can ever know.
My body donated to science so there's no body for the family to have to deal with. They are to have a keg party and roast - I've given folks plenty to laugh about in my lifetime and I suspect that by the time I'm gone, they will have no excuse for not coming up with something to bring up and laugh at. I want all laughter and no crying allowed.
When my aunt died I sat at her funeral laughing because I knew Susan would have a cow if she knew they were having a traditional funeral for her. She had quit going to church many years earlier and was more into metaphysical stuff. The last thing she would have wanted for her funeral was a "Christian" minister and traditional hymns. BUT, she never told anyone so that's what she got.
It's really helpful for the family, too. It's so hard to think when a loved one dies. Knowing what they would want and how they'd like to be remembered helps ease some of that burden.
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anotherDan
(((((((((((((( WG ))))))))))))))) precious soul!
My sense is that your "screwed again" comments underlie your understanding of what c r a p you were being fed.
In my view, hospice can be a wonderful ministry of caring for people at the end of their lives. Of course, it can be a mess, too, depending on how it's done. All I can say is that you and yours are in my prayers as you go through this together. I love you!
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cheranne
Throw my ashes in the San Antonio Riverwalk and raise your shot glasses!
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Jim
I used to be of the same opinion. Not any more.
Funerals are for the living, not for the dead. Let her friends and relatives celebrate her life. For that matter, let your friends and relatives celebrate your life when you die.
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WhiteDove
I am not planning my funeral yet but apparently some other people are.
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WhiteDove
They might wanna recheck their teachings ,that certainly is not what was taught in PFAL.
Ephesians 2
5Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)
6And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
7That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.
8For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9Not of works, lest any man should boast.
10For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
11Wherefore remember, that ye being in time past Gentiles in the flesh, who are called Uncircumcision by that which is called the Circumcision in the flesh made by hands;
12That at that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world:
13But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ.
14For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us;
15Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace;
16And that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby:
17And came and preached peace to you which were afar off, and to them that were nigh.
18For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father.
19Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God;
If one received the spirit while being dead in sins then even if one were in sin by leaving as they thought..... if the spirit could
abide in us when we were dead in sin I doubt that more sin would necessitate it leaving. Isn't that the point of incorruptible seed?
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Watered Garden
I KNOW it wasn't in PFAL. Those sacred words issued from from the lips of the 18th WC grad who was The Man of God for that city. From the portentious way he said them, I expect he learned at the feet of LCM.
And also it's not in the Bible either. Romans 8:35-39.
You apparently had the good fortune to not be around LCM's teachings very much.
WG
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Watered Garden
One really neat thing, though, that is so typical of this wonderful woman, is that she is concerned that not only her wishes be honored but those of her children. She has four surviving children, one very Catholic, one Methodist, one Grace Brethren, and us, The Journey Fellowship, which is nondenominational, Bible-based. She asked them to select the readings and Scriptural-related stuff to be used. John will speak. It may well be that the six grandsons will be pallbearers.
I am rethinking my initial horror at funeral planning. I think it would be easier on Mr. Garden, the Sprout, and the Sprout's Sprouts if I did it well in advance (I hope) of my eventual demise.
WG
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