Even though I choose to remain anonymous, there are probably at least a half dozen people here who know my identity because we knew each other face to face while in The Way. There are probably that many again who know my identity because we have corresponded to exchange books, tapes, etc. And, if "The WayGB" doesn't know who I am, they haven't been paying attention because I have been straight forward about my personal history which includes ties to some at HQ who might recognize coinciding experiences. So, in reality, I'm not really "anonymous". Still, I like to keep it the way it is. Maybe that's just me. There are lots of reasons to keep it that way that may not even involve The Way. For example, would you really want a prospective employer or loan officer or court official to do a google search and prejudge you based on cult involvement that is decades past? Why not simply avoid the issue by using a "handle"? Then, if you feel compelled to reveal your identity to specific individuals, you can do so on an individual basis. But, it's really a personal choice that everyone has to make for themselves.
I can respect your thinking on that. But I do not plan on having regrets about my choices either. I had my reasons for not being anonymous and I don't expect any repercussions of non-anonymity on my part to override my being public.
My splinter group moved my wife and son out of my house, and I want that false prophet, psuedo apostle to be very freakin clear about how I feel. I do so hope in that I am successful. :B)
And besides, in most things as pertaining to TWI and "River Road Fellowship" which is located in Finlayson MN. I am pretty alone up north here.
Dear Excathedra,
Once you posted that you felt that you "had no friends" and I thought...OMG...the lady needs friends...and you know the rest. But thanks for clearing that up.
I had an internet stalker years ago, it was not fun. I stay anonymous except for facebook, where my family hangs out, and a couple of closed groups that are not open to the general public. The name Bramble is just for GSC, I use a different net name on other large boards I go to.
There are a few people on GSC that I knew in RL, and they know me, we are not close, and they don't really post anymore.
For me, there are too many red flags at this site for me to be really comfortable revealing real life names etc.
There are people here I truly enjoy reading and I think of them with friendly vibes, though I don't know them personally. Because of how they have acted and treated me and others I have warm and fuzzy thoughts for them, though that is not really friendship!
In TWI friendship was almost an instant thing--one conversation at the ROA and we were 'friends'...but outside TWI real friendships don't happen that quickly or simply.
I stay anonymous because when I first signed up my parents were still in TWI. They no longer are, so the whole WayGB thing has lost it's power over me. However, there is still what others have brought up. I stay anonymous now because everything we write here is public, and I don't necessarily want my real name attached to what I write here for many reasons. However, there are people here that do know who I am and other personal information about me. I'm ok with that.
for me it is a mental health thing to stay anonymous because in "real" life whenever i got around former way people i felt constantly bombarded with way thinking and it drove me nutso, and then once i became a member here and started talking so much i saw how much i've bottled up about the way and how easy it was to "stumble" over things that just smash my very last nerve, so it's that i just can't take too much of discussion about the way or even anything that resembles my memories of the way without the ability to back away and breathe. and it would be very "cleansing" for me to just put out there all the names and locations and experiences from when i was forced to be involved in the way, but i know that there will come the day when i am all done with all of that and i will not want all that poison to have spilled over on my mom and brother and sisters, because even though i am very mad at them right now i don't want that anger to stand for all the world to see and think of when they think of me and my family. i have also wanted to try to be friends with some people here but i really don't think i would be a very good friend in the state i am in right now, but that might change, but i still wouldn't put my name out here for what i've already said.
Uummm, ... how about ... what f'ing difference does/should it really make, hmmm? I know that Jeff didn't mean anything controlling by his initial post here, so let me bring that straight out.
But for those who (still) linger here, and (still) seem to have this opinion that someone's anonymity casts a shadow over their integrity, or who seem to think that they must 'defend' said anonymity, ... Hell, you could say "I have decided to remain anonymous because I like the fake name of 'Flying Spaghetti Monster' better." or "I have decided to remain anonymous, ..... just _cuz_! :P ", ...
... and as far as I'm concerned, it wouldn't make not one twit worth of difference. And if someone's lying, then it would show up in what they say, ... not in their anonymity.
And if someone's lying, then it would show up in what they say, ... not in their anonymity.
<_<
Exactly!
This isn't like some other cyber hangouts where nobody actually knows anyone.
If I say "such and such" happened in Cleveland in 1974, there are plenty of people who were there in 1974 and would most likely know if my statement is incorrect. When I was a kid, all the guys had nicknames. (Froggie, Skeeter, Buzzy, Punkin Head and so on) but amongst our group, we knew who was whom, so those names didn't really represent anonymity so much as an extension of our identities.
I used to be annonymous--ish --- I posted as Washingtonweather - but lost the pastword - didn't bother to get it...achnaged my name...but I have also stated who I am on many posts because I felt no pressure from "waygb" (as Pmosh put it) about it. I didn't always - like when I first started posting on Waydale, I was still in and actually posted play by plays of the way idiots so called declarations of us up to the point we were dramatically m&a'ed.
I don't use my real name to protect myself and my family from a lot of things. I doubt if anyone "in" would much care who I am but if they did they could hurt my loved ones.
There are a few people who know who I am on GSC.
I post stuff here from my present that I wouldn't much want anyone to know I posted, either.
I do use my real name on Facebook, but I don't much like Facebook and may deactivate my account.
Even though you all seem to have thought these things through for yourselves sometimes I just look at the hits on my profile and think, "All that and not one real live person with a developing relationship.....WTF."
I do admit that I have certainly jumped in with both feet.
Sofar no trouble for me. But I'm certain that it may simply be that I am fairly far out of the realm of influence for TWI and my former splinter group. I do know that my former splinter group learned to not be direct with me, and with others I've seen how very good they became at poisoning somebodie's rep behing their back.
Sometimes it seems like even a little trouble that is up front and out in the open would seem a little refreshing compaired to the years of behind the back poison I had to deal with.
If you want friends, Jeff, be a friend. It's an ancient axiom of life.
You know you have friends here. You may not know their (real) names, but they are friends nonetheless. What is it that you are expecting, love and hugs and cuddles? You will get supportive help, compassionate answers, understanding, and space to express yourself and to grow, without condemnation. I'd say that was friendship. What else were you expecting?
I see you as a friend. It's obviously not reciprocal.
If you want a personal relationship, start one.
This Cafe isn't some sort of dating arrangement, marriage club or whatever, though some couples have met via GSC and married.
We believed. And we didn't have much to believe in before we did. I don't think that was a fault. What was a fault was lying and abusing people. Thanks to the internet and voices like yours, it won't happen again, and that's worth something.
Jeff, Those of us that have been around a while have seen really scary things happen when one of us gave out personal info, or tried to be a friend to a fellow poster. Seriously dangerous frightening things. We really don`t know who is on the other side of the screen and if they are a harmless person looking for a friend or someone looking to hurt.
It is a sad lonely time that you are going through, we have all been there after leaving twi. We go from instant friends and family in every town to being a complete stranger to everyone. I used to cry and beg God for a friend...What I didn`t know is that it takes years to build close relationships with people...Years of shared experiences, common interests...common values..You are going to have to develop interests, meet people through activities...people who can learn who you are and eventually grow to trust you.
You musn`t be hurt because folks don`t respond to overtures of friendship. It just isn`t safe. Please understand that it isn`t anything against you personally. It is just good common sense to keep our annonymity.
If you want friends, Jeff, be a friend. It's an ancient axiom of life.
You know you have friends here. You may not know their (real) names, but they are friends nonetheless. What is it that you are expecting, love and hugs and cuddles? You will get supportive help, compassionate answers, understanding, and space to express yourself and to grow, without condemnation. I'd say that was friendship. What else were you expecting?
I see you as a friend. It's obviously not reciprocal.
If you want a personal relationship, start one.
This Cafe isn't some sort of dating arrangement, marriage club or whatever, though some couples have met via GSC and married.
Dear Twinky,
It is really good to hear that you think of me as a friend. And within the parameters of anonymity that is good here at the Greasespot, what you are saying makes perfect sense to me.
I guess in certain ways I may be old fashioned. Real people with names, flesh and blood, lives with challenges, families, children and grandchildren for some, heartbreaks and joy are some of the things that I would expect in something that might develope into real friendship. Real people will always be my first choice.
Then other times I simply wonder what big name I might have a go-round with. Other times I simply wonder if I have already heard of any of you Greasespotters.
Two different posters have already offered me the names of another poster each. And I will simply not act on any second hand info because I feel that would be violating the anonymity policy of the Greasespot Cafe. Besides, how the heck would I know that they were not just testing me.
And as far as the whole dating thing, I wouldn't reject that possibility but most of the time when I'm here I feel that I have other fish to fry, so-to-speak.
Jeff, Those of us that have been around a while have seen really scary things happen when one of us gave out personal info, or tried to be a friend to a fellow poster. Seriously dangerous frightening things. We really don`t know who is on the other side of the screen and if they are a harmless person looking for a friend or someone looking to hurt.
It is a sad lonely time that you are going through, we have all been there after leaving twi. We go from instant friends and family in every town to being a complete stranger to everyone. I used to cry and beg God for a friend...What I didn`t know is that it takes years to build close relationships with people...Years of shared experiences, common interests...common values..You are going to have to develop interests, meet people through activities...people who can learn who you are and eventually grow to trust you.
You musn`t be hurt because folks don`t respond to overtures of friendship. It just isn`t safe. Please understand that it isn`t anything against you personally. It is just good common sense to keep our annonymity.
Dear Racscal,
I think you may be right about the fact that the non-responses to my overtures of friendship hurt a little. And even though I understand how many feel it seems that my expectations can be a little at odds with my reason. Well, at least that gives me something in common with the rest of the human race.
At least my splinter group experiences seems to give me a lot of common ground with many Greasespotters. Most of the time I think of that as just a good place to start.
______________________
I am glad that I started this thread. Thank you for sharing, all of you.
I probably won't be back through a long weekend. It is a holiday in the United States (for all the international Greasespotters) and I may not get back until Tuesday. I will look forward to checking for more action on this thread then.
Speaking just for myself, I really am not afraid of having gone public. But I am not any of you either and I still respect your concerns 100%.
Two different posters have already offered me the names of another poster each. And I will simply not act on any second hand info because I feel that would be violating the anonymity policy of the Greasespot Cafe. Besides, how the heck would I know that they were not just testing me.
Further more if people are willing to hand out real names (without express permission provided in a form that can be VALIDATED) when the policy here is to allow anonymous screen names then those people have the same integrity as a NAZI - a garbage scow eating rat - a used heroin needle - a piece of human defecation to be flushed - they have the same integrity as VICTOR PAUL WIERWILLE. SCUM! Not to be trusted. To be looked down on in the worst possible way - as criminal scum. VALIDATED as in if you want my real name you can ask me for it specifically then it is between you and me and not some busy body loud mouthed marriage failed drunken fat old idiot who has way to much way brain still working. You've seen them here already no doubt - they stand out. Even as they claim to detest TWI they act like they are still corpse.
Your privacy is supposed to be protected here - hence the allowance of anonymous S/N's. This kind of invasion of privacy has happened once too often on some forums here...a bunch of failed marriages, drunken old people looking for any way to be busy bodies. Would I consider talking to one of them? Sure, if they had their heads in a toilet bowl while I talked to them - OH WAIT they already have their heads in a toilet bowl.
Scum...May they rot with Vic. They belong back in TWI using the same controlling methods of privacy invasion and "exposure."
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JeffSjo
First of all, let me say that more than once I have aggressively defended the right to be anonymous here at the Greasespot. Usually when certain formerly regular posters were bullying TWI victims who
JeffSjo
Dear Socks, I hope this response is not too late. I can see how someone can choose anonymity and BE accountable. In that sense it applies to character and not whether or not someone is able to be he
JeffSjo
Somebody that I know recently shared with me that their view of anonymity was that it could be some kind of game. And while this view is an opinion that anyone has the right to form I think that it i
waysider
Jeff
Even though I choose to remain anonymous, there are probably at least a half dozen people here who know my identity because we knew each other face to face while in The Way. There are probably that many again who know my identity because we have corresponded to exchange books, tapes, etc. And, if "The WayGB" doesn't know who I am, they haven't been paying attention because I have been straight forward about my personal history which includes ties to some at HQ who might recognize coinciding experiences. So, in reality, I'm not really "anonymous". Still, I like to keep it the way it is. Maybe that's just me. There are lots of reasons to keep it that way that may not even involve The Way. For example, would you really want a prospective employer or loan officer or court official to do a google search and prejudge you based on cult involvement that is decades past? Why not simply avoid the issue by using a "handle"? Then, if you feel compelled to reveal your identity to specific individuals, you can do so on an individual basis. But, it's really a personal choice that everyone has to make for themselves.
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excathedra
i really don't want to make friends
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JeffSjo
O.K. Waysider,
I can respect your thinking on that. But I do not plan on having regrets about my choices either. I had my reasons for not being anonymous and I don't expect any repercussions of non-anonymity on my part to override my being public.
My splinter group moved my wife and son out of my house, and I want that false prophet, psuedo apostle to be very freakin clear about how I feel. I do so hope in that I am successful. :B)
And besides, in most things as pertaining to TWI and "River Road Fellowship" which is located in Finlayson MN. I am pretty alone up north here.
Dear Excathedra,
Once you posted that you felt that you "had no friends" and I thought...OMG...the lady needs friends...and you know the rest. But thanks for clearing that up.
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excathedra
thank you, jeff
and i'm really sad about what happened to you in your follow-up cult
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Bramble
I had an internet stalker years ago, it was not fun. I stay anonymous except for facebook, where my family hangs out, and a couple of closed groups that are not open to the general public. The name Bramble is just for GSC, I use a different net name on other large boards I go to.
There are a few people on GSC that I knew in RL, and they know me, we are not close, and they don't really post anymore.
For me, there are too many red flags at this site for me to be really comfortable revealing real life names etc.
There are people here I truly enjoy reading and I think of them with friendly vibes, though I don't know them personally. Because of how they have acted and treated me and others I have warm and fuzzy thoughts for them, though that is not really friendship!
In TWI friendship was almost an instant thing--one conversation at the ROA and we were 'friends'...but outside TWI real friendships don't happen that quickly or simply.
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Mister P-Mosh
I stay anonymous because when I first signed up my parents were still in TWI. They no longer are, so the whole WayGB thing has lost it's power over me. However, there is still what others have brought up. I stay anonymous now because everything we write here is public, and I don't necessarily want my real name attached to what I write here for many reasons. However, there are people here that do know who I am and other personal information about me. I'm ok with that.
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waysider
Jeff
I just "googled" your name.
It brought me straight to your profile on GSC.
I just thought you would like to know.
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brainfixed
for me it is a mental health thing to stay anonymous because in "real" life whenever i got around former way people i felt constantly bombarded with way thinking and it drove me nutso, and then once i became a member here and started talking so much i saw how much i've bottled up about the way and how easy it was to "stumble" over things that just smash my very last nerve, so it's that i just can't take too much of discussion about the way or even anything that resembles my memories of the way without the ability to back away and breathe. and it would be very "cleansing" for me to just put out there all the names and locations and experiences from when i was forced to be involved in the way, but i know that there will come the day when i am all done with all of that and i will not want all that poison to have spilled over on my mom and brother and sisters, because even though i am very mad at them right now i don't want that anger to stand for all the world to see and think of when they think of me and my family. i have also wanted to try to be friends with some people here but i really don't think i would be a very good friend in the state i am in right now, but that might change, but i still wouldn't put my name out here for what i've already said.
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GarthP2000
"How about not being anonymous"
Uummm, ... how about ... what f'ing difference does/should it really make, hmmm? I know that Jeff didn't mean anything controlling by his initial post here, so let me bring that straight out.
But for those who (still) linger here, and (still) seem to have this opinion that someone's anonymity casts a shadow over their integrity, or who seem to think that they must 'defend' said anonymity, ... Hell, you could say "I have decided to remain anonymous because I like the fake name of 'Flying Spaghetti Monster' better." or "I have decided to remain anonymous, ..... just _cuz_! :P ", ...
... and as far as I'm concerned, it wouldn't make not one twit worth of difference. And if someone's lying, then it would show up in what they say, ... not in their anonymity.
<_<
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waysider
Exactly!
This isn't like some other cyber hangouts where nobody actually knows anyone.
If I say "such and such" happened in Cleveland in 1974, there are plenty of people who were there in 1974 and would most likely know if my statement is incorrect. When I was a kid, all the guys had nicknames. (Froggie, Skeeter, Buzzy, Punkin Head and so on) but amongst our group, we knew who was whom, so those names didn't really represent anonymity so much as an extension of our identities.
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washn'wear
I used to be annonymous--ish --- I posted as Washingtonweather - but lost the pastword - didn't bother to get it...achnaged my name...but I have also stated who I am on many posts because I felt no pressure from "waygb" (as Pmosh put it) about it. I didn't always - like when I first started posting on Waydale, I was still in and actually posted play by plays of the way idiots so called declarations of us up to the point we were dramatically m&a'ed.
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Watered Garden
I don't use my real name to protect myself and my family from a lot of things. I doubt if anyone "in" would much care who I am but if they did they could hurt my loved ones.
There are a few people who know who I am on GSC.
I post stuff here from my present that I wouldn't much want anyone to know I posted, either.
I do use my real name on Facebook, but I don't much like Facebook and may deactivate my account.
WG
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waysider
This is a good example.
You and I both sat cross legged, half asleep on that cold concrete basement floor nearly every morning for two years.
We "ran with the cows" and plucked thistles from the chard patch.
You understand the "wayside" reference and I understand the "Watered Garden" reference.
It would be hard for me to outright fabricate something about FLO that would get past your radar.
There are lots of similar examples here.
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JeffSjo
Even though you all seem to have thought these things through for yourselves sometimes I just look at the hits on my profile and think, "All that and not one real live person with a developing relationship.....WTF."
I do admit that I have certainly jumped in with both feet.
Sofar no trouble for me. But I'm certain that it may simply be that I am fairly far out of the realm of influence for TWI and my former splinter group. I do know that my former splinter group learned to not be direct with me, and with others I've seen how very good they became at poisoning somebodie's rep behing their back.
Sometimes it seems like even a little trouble that is up front and out in the open would seem a little refreshing compaired to the years of behind the back poison I had to deal with.
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Twinky
If you want friends, Jeff, be a friend. It's an ancient axiom of life.
You know you have friends here. You may not know their (real) names, but they are friends nonetheless. What is it that you are expecting, love and hugs and cuddles? You will get supportive help, compassionate answers, understanding, and space to express yourself and to grow, without condemnation. I'd say that was friendship. What else were you expecting?
I see you as a friend. It's obviously not reciprocal.
If you want a personal relationship, start one.
This Cafe isn't some sort of dating arrangement, marriage club or whatever, though some couples have met via GSC and married.
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excathedra
i went for the love and hugs and cuddles
i got f'd
my fault
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GarthP2000
Excie,
It is NOT your fault. It's that kraut's fault. (You know who I refer to by that, I take it. ;) )
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Jim
I'm not so sure.
We believed. And we didn't have much to believe in before we did. I don't think that was a fault. What was a fault was lying and abusing people. Thanks to the internet and voices like yours, it won't happen again, and that's worth something.
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waysider
If he was alive, he would want you to THINK it was your fault.
That's part of the deception he mastered.
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rascal
Jeff, Those of us that have been around a while have seen really scary things happen when one of us gave out personal info, or tried to be a friend to a fellow poster. Seriously dangerous frightening things. We really don`t know who is on the other side of the screen and if they are a harmless person looking for a friend or someone looking to hurt.
It is a sad lonely time that you are going through, we have all been there after leaving twi. We go from instant friends and family in every town to being a complete stranger to everyone. I used to cry and beg God for a friend...What I didn`t know is that it takes years to build close relationships with people...Years of shared experiences, common interests...common values..You are going to have to develop interests, meet people through activities...people who can learn who you are and eventually grow to trust you.
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rascal
You musn`t be hurt because folks don`t respond to overtures of friendship. It just isn`t safe. Please understand that it isn`t anything against you personally. It is just good common sense to keep our annonymity.
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JeffSjo
Dear Twinky,
It is really good to hear that you think of me as a friend. And within the parameters of anonymity that is good here at the Greasespot, what you are saying makes perfect sense to me.
I guess in certain ways I may be old fashioned. Real people with names, flesh and blood, lives with challenges, families, children and grandchildren for some, heartbreaks and joy are some of the things that I would expect in something that might develope into real friendship. Real people will always be my first choice.
Then other times I simply wonder what big name I might have a go-round with. Other times I simply wonder if I have already heard of any of you Greasespotters.
Two different posters have already offered me the names of another poster each. And I will simply not act on any second hand info because I feel that would be violating the anonymity policy of the Greasespot Cafe. Besides, how the heck would I know that they were not just testing me.
And as far as the whole dating thing, I wouldn't reject that possibility but most of the time when I'm here I feel that I have other fish to fry, so-to-speak.
It sounds all good to me friend Twinky.
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JeffSjo
Dear Racscal,
I think you may be right about the fact that the non-responses to my overtures of friendship hurt a little. And even though I understand how many feel it seems that my expectations can be a little at odds with my reason. Well, at least that gives me something in common with the rest of the human race.
At least my splinter group experiences seems to give me a lot of common ground with many Greasespotters. Most of the time I think of that as just a good place to start.
______________________
I am glad that I started this thread. Thank you for sharing, all of you.
I probably won't be back through a long weekend. It is a holiday in the United States (for all the international Greasespotters) and I may not get back until Tuesday. I will look forward to checking for more action on this thread then.
Speaking just for myself, I really am not afraid of having gone public. But I am not any of you either and I still respect your concerns 100%.
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RumRunner
Further more if people are willing to hand out real names (without express permission provided in a form that can be VALIDATED) when the policy here is to allow anonymous screen names then those people have the same integrity as a NAZI - a garbage scow eating rat - a used heroin needle - a piece of human defecation to be flushed - they have the same integrity as VICTOR PAUL WIERWILLE. SCUM! Not to be trusted. To be looked down on in the worst possible way - as criminal scum. VALIDATED as in if you want my real name you can ask me for it specifically then it is between you and me and not some busy body loud mouthed marriage failed drunken fat old idiot who has way to much way brain still working. You've seen them here already no doubt - they stand out. Even as they claim to detest TWI they act like they are still corpse.
Your privacy is supposed to be protected here - hence the allowance of anonymous S/N's. This kind of invasion of privacy has happened once too often on some forums here...a bunch of failed marriages, drunken old people looking for any way to be busy bodies. Would I consider talking to one of them? Sure, if they had their heads in a toilet bowl while I talked to them - OH WAIT they already have their heads in a toilet bowl.
Scum...May they rot with Vic. They belong back in TWI using the same controlling methods of privacy invasion and "exposure."
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