also i have to fight off overthinking every little word of every little sentence of every little thing i hear or read.
I believe that's a sign that you are successfully breaking away. In the cult, you learn to dissect everything from the outside and avoid critical thinking within the cult. That way you keep filling yourself with what reinforces the world view they want you to have. People don't grow and learn when they do that; they just become arrogant. At this time, I think you need to question everything and allow yourself to be open to many ideas.
The overthinking will die down in time - or maybe not.
I think that sometimes, it just takes time. I think that other activities, involvement with people who don`t act and think the same way I do have helped tremendously. New hobbies and interests, indulging in activities that I enjoy that have no merit or practical gain lol... are just some of the things that I think have helped me post twi.
Good friends, great community, martial arts, theatre, horses, kayaking, rambunctious kids....all activities that get me outside of my little box or comfort zone. I see each as contributing and developing the person and character that I intend to be.
I remember after leaving twi...it may have been almost 10 years...but I got so excited when one day, I realized that my life in front of me was a blank slate. I could fill the rest of it up with whatever pleased me...I could be whoever I wanted to be....I was free!
I don`t think that we can throw a mental switch and blammo we are *fixed* from our twi involvement...What I do think is that God has been at work through the situations and people that I have been involved with since leaving...gently leading ... helping me to recognize and change the damaging thought processes that made me vulnerable to cult think in the first place.
So yeah, I agree brainfixed, I had to throw out anything that walked, talked, smelled like, or resembled twi in ANY way. I had to humble myself and recognize that what I had been taught about God, what I believed about life, the universe, my place in it and my responsibility was all so interspersed with lies and that I needed to start all over again with a fresh new foundation.
I think that sometimes, it just takes time. I think that other activities, involvement with people who don`t act and think the same way I do have helped tremendously. New hobbies and interests, indulging in activities that I enjoy that have no merit or practical gain lol... are just some of the things that I think have helped me post twi.
Good friends, great community, martial arts, theatre, horses, kayaking, rambunctious kids....all activities that get me outside of my little box or comfort zone. I see each as contributing and developing the person and character that I intend to be.
I remember after leaving twi...it may have been almost 10 years...but I got so excited when one day, I realized that my life in front of me was a blank slate. I could fill the rest of it up with whatever pleased me...I could be whoever I wanted to be....I was free!
I don`t think that we can throw a mental switch and blammo we are *fixed* from our twi involvement...What I do think is that God has been at work through the situations and people that I have been involved with since leaving...gently leading ... helping me to recognize and change the damaging thought processes that made me vulnerable to cult think in the first place.
So yeah, I agree brainfixed, I had to throw out anything that walked, talked, smelled like, or resembled twi in ANY way. I had to humble myself and recognize that what I had been taught about God, what I believed about life, the universe, my place in it and my responsibility was all so interspersed with lies and that I needed to start all over again with a fresh new foundation.
what Rascal said! In the beginning getting out was alot of word scramble for me like a waterfall of words"
otherwise know as OCD there is meds for that but it wipes the slate clean and I felt I lot my creativity by
meds.psychotherapy worked for me...along with starting all over again with my family and just doing thing not
I picked up music listening habits that I left off with involvement with der way. Beatles, Grateful Dead, James Gang, Joe Walsh.. Yes.. among others. My taste in music is slowly catching up.. I started listening to eighties, ninties stuff.. Crowded House, REM and others.
I also tried some kind of Buddhist meditation a couple of times.. I think that burned out a couple of links in my circular reasoning I had built up for a number of years in da way..
then there was the time I .. I won't say here. But it pretty much burned away the rest of the religious paranoia.. all I'll say, it was legal..
Also, I went back to college. Its almost like I hit the rewind button.. I'm doing what I should have done in the 1970's.
I stone cold quit speaking in tongues. For any reason. About three years ago. No noticeable ill effects.. no withdrawal, no spiritual "disasters" or lack of "discernment".. in fact, everything seems clearer now.
Meds and therapy were not available to me at the time, cheranne. It probably wouldn`t have taken me nearly so long to come to the conclusions that I have, had I had some help.
I stone cold quit speaking in tongues. For any reason. About three years ago. No noticeable ill effects.. no withdrawal, no spiritual "disasters" or lack of "discernment".. in fact, everything seems clearer now.
I stone cold quit speaking in tongues. For any reason. About three years ago. No noticeable ill effects.. no withdrawal, no spiritual "disasters" or lack of "discernment".. in fact, everything seems clearer now.
I can see clearly now the tongues are gone
I can see all traps set by The Way
Gone are the WOW clouds that had me blind
Gonna be a bright fu-ture without the way
Sing it with me people! Bring your hands together one more time!!!
Like Ham, I deliberately quit speaking in tongues at one point. Heck, my life for years in TWI was crap and I spoke in tomgues all the time. How did it help?
Didn't notice any difference in life, except I was no longer so inside my own head making myslf SIT to build myself up etc. But it did take awhile, because for so many years I spoke in tongues at any negative thought or incident.
Life is alot less anxious on a day to day basis now. And no one comes to my home unless it's for business, or unless I invite them as a friend.
We found we did't need the TWi type authority figure in our business so we wouldn't screw up. How bizarre that lifestyle is. We've made good decisions, bad decisions and no, we don't have any super prediction power about the future, so we do the best we can with what we know in the here and now. None of that 'if you'll commit to this action, you'll reap the benefit, God will bless you' stuff motivates us now.
I wasn't in as long as some of you but for me (because we did leave early on and until recently I didn't know all this stuff) For me it went in layers..
and it has been a very slow process...
It began with the first couple days after we left .. then when I joined a bible study with my sister in Law, I learned there are some very nice Christians out there... and God's word is being taught all over the place... and a more balanced look at what God really holds me responsible for.
More when I began addressing the child hood abuse I survived.
and finally the final throwing off was with the information I have learned here at the Grease spot.
Perhaps it would have happened faster if I had found Grease spot sooner but maybe I wasn't really ready to deal with it until now, hard to say.
I was busy raising kids.
I find that throwing it off now so long after leaving is easier than when I first left.
and I still do stupid things but with time I expect that will all fall by the wayside. Especially as now I can see things in perspective.
this is good stuff to think about! rumrunner that was funny funny! something my therapist has posed to me is to quit revolting against my way experiences and begin to learn what good i can from them so that i can spend my energy helpfully on myself instead of destructively against myself because i'm beginning to have some health issues directly related to anxiety and tension and it's gotten worse since i started looking so closely at my way experiences. did that happen to anybody else?
this is good stuff to think about! rumrunner that was funny funny! something my therapist has posed to me is to quit revolting against my way experiences and begin to learn what good I can from them so that i can spend my energy helpfully on myself instead of destructively against myself because i'm beginning to have some health issues directly related to anxiety and tension and it's gotten worse since i started looking so closely at my way experiences. did that happen to anybody else?
Being out of TWI has been very liberating for me. I've had opportunities to do things, think things, read things etc that I could never have done in the confines of TWI. I've made friends TWI would deem as 'possessed' who I enjoy, I'm invollved in some volunteer work(imagine trying to get TWI approval for a Cat rescue group!) Things I (I!) feel good about and enjoy. I get to choose, not the TWI leadership.
When I do think about stuff that happened, it is usually confined to the time it takes to write a post here on GSC, then I go on with my life. I try to focus on what I need to do for myself, my family, my job etc and life is pretty busy with just those things. i have some interests that are pretty absorbing, plus having teenagers keeps life hopping.
me too but I also still believe that some people speak in tongues (just not me)NOT the way we were "learned
by twi"
But..the transition has taken years YEARS!!!!! I still am not comfortable in becoming a member of a church or even going maybe here and there on weddings or baptisms..however my faith became clearer and simple as the years
go by..but there was a lot of "white out" to be used on that bible!
When I was involved in twi and then the off shoots I thought it was right to be right.
that God needed me to take a stand on the truth of the bible and manifestations etc.
not now i really want to hear what others have spiritualy what they think God is to them and I listen to them and see if it can be an idea i can relate to.
I do not think they are devils or wrong.
maybe I do not understand but it is ok with me.
I have zero need to correct anyone on what they think the bible may mean in any area.
If they ask me what I thinki give them mine knowing i could be as wrong as the next gal or guy.
I allow my friend Jesus to be the lover of mankind He was born to be in my life and seek to show others His Love without the idea that it is all about me.
Even as recently as a year ago I thought right doctrine was very important. Now I don't.
it is funny you say it that way Tazia.
Since letting go of the need to control what others may believe about God or the bible, doctrine has become more important to me.
I think listening and hearing others allows me to truly trust my own learning and worship.by allowing the freedom of choice to grow and be free in others It allows me to love what I believe in more than ever,
something my therapist has posed to me is to quit revolting against my way experiences and begin to learn what good i can from them so that i can spend my energy helpfully on myself instead of destructively against myself because i'm beginning to have some health issues directly related to anxiety and tension and it's gotten worse since i started looking so closely at my way experiences. did that happen to anybody else?
Yes! Except that whenever I've brought up my Way experiences with a therapist or anyone else who was never "in", all I usually get are blank stares. How can anyone else understand? Even people that were in other cults can't seem to relate specifically to The Way experiences. Maybe I just don't let people "in" when it comes to my own life, I dunno. That's why I read Greasespot every now and then. That helps some...sometimes. Anyway, to answer your question. It's taken me a long time because for a long time I didn't think I had a problem until my first wife left me and I realized all I was was a shell. Then I also came to realize that 15 years in The Way International and my "Way Corps" education taught me absolutely nothing. In fact I may have even become more stupid. Then I started looking for help.
the cult brain" creeps up on me when i'm least expecting it too often to be comfortable with so i wonder how did people that were leadership and in way corps and very deeply entrenched in it all know when they started not being like that any longer?
i wasn't a big leader or anything like that, dear brainfixed. i was a corps grad. i know it has taken me years. when i first left, i felt like a deaf and dumb mute around mostly everyone. then after that i started sharing way too much. i don't know how to explain it, but i was always mouthing off with my bad taste for religion, etc., and telling too much personal crap.
lately (after how many years since poo poo), i find that i'm a much more balanced sociable person and people really like me (not talking about greasespot lol)
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Tzaia
I believe that's a sign that you are successfully breaking away. In the cult, you learn to dissect everything from the outside and avoid critical thinking within the cult. That way you keep filling yourself with what reinforces the world view they want you to have. People don't grow and learn when they do that; they just become arrogant. At this time, I think you need to question everything and allow yourself to be open to many ideas.
The overthinking will die down in time - or maybe not.
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rascal
I think that sometimes, it just takes time. I think that other activities, involvement with people who don`t act and think the same way I do have helped tremendously. New hobbies and interests, indulging in activities that I enjoy that have no merit or practical gain lol... are just some of the things that I think have helped me post twi.
Good friends, great community, martial arts, theatre, horses, kayaking, rambunctious kids....all activities that get me outside of my little box or comfort zone. I see each as contributing and developing the person and character that I intend to be.
I remember after leaving twi...it may have been almost 10 years...but I got so excited when one day, I realized that my life in front of me was a blank slate. I could fill the rest of it up with whatever pleased me...I could be whoever I wanted to be....I was free!
I don`t think that we can throw a mental switch and blammo we are *fixed* from our twi involvement...What I do think is that God has been at work through the situations and people that I have been involved with since leaving...gently leading ... helping me to recognize and change the damaging thought processes that made me vulnerable to cult think in the first place.
So yeah, I agree brainfixed, I had to throw out anything that walked, talked, smelled like, or resembled twi in ANY way. I had to humble myself and recognize that what I had been taught about God, what I believed about life, the universe, my place in it and my responsibility was all so interspersed with lies and that I needed to start all over again with a fresh new foundation.
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cheranne
what Rascal said! In the beginning getting out was alot of word scramble for me like a waterfall of words"
otherwise know as OCD there is meds for that but it wipes the slate clean and I felt I lot my creativity by
meds.psychotherapy worked for me...along with starting all over again with my family and just doing thing not
so structured!!!!!
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Ham
I picked up music listening habits that I left off with involvement with der way. Beatles, Grateful Dead, James Gang, Joe Walsh.. Yes.. among others. My taste in music is slowly catching up.. I started listening to eighties, ninties stuff.. Crowded House, REM and others.
I also tried some kind of Buddhist meditation a couple of times.. I think that burned out a couple of links in my circular reasoning I had built up for a number of years in da way..
then there was the time I .. I won't say here. But it pretty much burned away the rest of the religious paranoia.. all I'll say, it was legal..
Also, I went back to college. Its almost like I hit the rewind button.. I'm doing what I should have done in the 1970's.
I stone cold quit speaking in tongues. For any reason. About three years ago. No noticeable ill effects.. no withdrawal, no spiritual "disasters" or lack of "discernment".. in fact, everything seems clearer now.
That's about it, here..
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rascal
Meds and therapy were not available to me at the time, cheranne. It probably wouldn`t have taken me nearly so long to come to the conclusions that I have, had I had some help.
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waysider
:)
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RumRunner
I can see clearly now the tongues are gone
I can see all traps set by The Way
Gone are the WOW clouds that had me blind
Gonna be a bright fu-ture without the way
Sing it with me people! Bring your hands together one more time!!!
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waysider
Hey!
Wasn't that a big hit for Johnny Inter-Nash-onal?
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Bramble
Like Ham, I deliberately quit speaking in tongues at one point. Heck, my life for years in TWI was crap and I spoke in tomgues all the time. How did it help?
Didn't notice any difference in life, except I was no longer so inside my own head making myslf SIT to build myself up etc. But it did take awhile, because for so many years I spoke in tongues at any negative thought or incident.
Life is alot less anxious on a day to day basis now. And no one comes to my home unless it's for business, or unless I invite them as a friend.
We found we did't need the TWi type authority figure in our business so we wouldn't screw up. How bizarre that lifestyle is. We've made good decisions, bad decisions and no, we don't have any super prediction power about the future, so we do the best we can with what we know in the here and now. None of that 'if you'll commit to this action, you'll reap the benefit, God will bless you' stuff motivates us now.
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leafytwiglet
I wasn't in as long as some of you but for me (because we did leave early on and until recently I didn't know all this stuff) For me it went in layers..
and it has been a very slow process...
It began with the first couple days after we left .. then when I joined a bible study with my sister in Law, I learned there are some very nice Christians out there... and God's word is being taught all over the place... and a more balanced look at what God really holds me responsible for.
More when I began addressing the child hood abuse I survived.
and finally the final throwing off was with the information I have learned here at the Grease spot.
Perhaps it would have happened faster if I had found Grease spot sooner but maybe I wasn't really ready to deal with it until now, hard to say.
I was busy raising kids.
I find that throwing it off now so long after leaving is easier than when I first left.
and I still do stupid things but with time I expect that will all fall by the wayside. Especially as now I can see things in perspective.
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brainfixed
this is good stuff to think about! rumrunner that was funny funny! something my therapist has posed to me is to quit revolting against my way experiences and begin to learn what good i can from them so that i can spend my energy helpfully on myself instead of destructively against myself because i'm beginning to have some health issues directly related to anxiety and tension and it's gotten worse since i started looking so closely at my way experiences. did that happen to anybody else?
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Bramble
Being out of TWI has been very liberating for me. I've had opportunities to do things, think things, read things etc that I could never have done in the confines of TWI. I've made friends TWI would deem as 'possessed' who I enjoy, I'm invollved in some volunteer work(imagine trying to get TWI approval for a Cat rescue group!) Things I (I!) feel good about and enjoy. I get to choose, not the TWI leadership.
When I do think about stuff that happened, it is usually confined to the time it takes to write a post here on GSC, then I go on with my life. I try to focus on what I need to do for myself, my family, my job etc and life is pretty busy with just those things. i have some interests that are pretty absorbing, plus having teenagers keeps life hopping.
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frank123lol
Biggest difference I see,I use my money,not giving it to twi.
What a lie to say we were no longer under the law yet tithing superseceded it.
I express my self in a way people like,I no longer have an agenda(ya know recruit someone to twi)
I am more at peace,no one is crawling up my you know what,critzing everything I do.
Speaking in tounges?Not much it was extremely overblown iN TWI.
I do stuff!Artwork put in a deck,collect stuff,gasp chave more than one car.
Listen to people,perspectives are great,have discussions,laugh.
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cheranne
:P
me too but I also still believe that some people speak in tongues (just not me)NOT the way we were "learned
by twi"
But..the transition has taken years YEARS!!!!! I still am not comfortable in becoming a member of a church or even going maybe here and there on weddings or baptisms..however my faith became clearer and simple as the years
go by..but there was a lot of "white out" to be used on that bible!
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pond
When I was involved in twi and then the off shoots I thought it was right to be right.
that God needed me to take a stand on the truth of the bible and manifestations etc.
not now i really want to hear what others have spiritualy what they think God is to them and I listen to them and see if it can be an idea i can relate to.
I do not think they are devils or wrong.
maybe I do not understand but it is ok with me.
I have zero need to correct anyone on what they think the bible may mean in any area.
If they ask me what I thinki give them mine knowing i could be as wrong as the next gal or guy.
I allow my friend Jesus to be the lover of mankind He was born to be in my life and seek to show others His Love without the idea that it is all about me.
big difference.
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Tzaia
Even as recently as a year ago I thought right doctrine was very important. Now I don't.
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pond
it is funny you say it that way Tazia.
Since letting go of the need to control what others may believe about God or the bible, doctrine has become more important to me.
I think listening and hearing others allows me to truly trust my own learning and worship.by allowing the freedom of choice to grow and be free in others It allows me to love what I believe in more than ever,
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Broken Arrow
Yes! Except that whenever I've brought up my Way experiences with a therapist or anyone else who was never "in", all I usually get are blank stares. How can anyone else understand? Even people that were in other cults can't seem to relate specifically to The Way experiences. Maybe I just don't let people "in" when it comes to my own life, I dunno. That's why I read Greasespot every now and then. That helps some...sometimes. Anyway, to answer your question. It's taken me a long time because for a long time I didn't think I had a problem until my first wife left me and I realized all I was was a shell. Then I also came to realize that 15 years in The Way International and my "Way Corps" education taught me absolutely nothing. In fact I may have even become more stupid. Then I started looking for help.
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Ham
Ah.. that's it, or is it..
a small group who can understand some archaic dialect..
a connection of sorts.. is that it?
I had a similar experience.. in less than a few seconds I realized all (or the majority) of what I had learned was wrong..
One thing I absolutely love.. is the connection I have with even a small group..
nobody else can "get it"..
I have a few "new" connections as well..
there is one character from my graduating class.. he's got the same "assignment".. and he is far more brilliant than I..
math 105, instructor.
and the first meeting with the ones in the assignment.. will be one of sheer terror.. heheh.
Both of us will learn the same language.. heh
I've learned the same language, in more than one dialect..
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excathedra
erkjohn, your post touched me
--
i wasn't a big leader or anything like that, dear brainfixed. i was a corps grad. i know it has taken me years. when i first left, i felt like a deaf and dumb mute around mostly everyone. then after that i started sharing way too much. i don't know how to explain it, but i was always mouthing off with my bad taste for religion, etc., and telling too much personal crap.
lately (after how many years since poo poo), i find that i'm a much more balanced sociable person and people really like me (not talking about greasespot lol)
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Ham
In a weird way.. I quit looking for "help".. and started looking for more connections.. some of the languages are quite different though..
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excathedra
i have nice new friends at my new job and when they offer advice, i listen, and vice versa
i really like that
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Ham
so.. what's the new job like? My new job.. will be "interesting".. (understatement)..
but it is what I asked for..
:)
the youngest guy.. he is twice as smart as me.
How does one handle thirty five kids who don't want to be there..
well.. I'm sure *we* will find out.. heh
I sincerely hope.. I can reach a few there..
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krys
Congratulations!
You have 35 students in one classroom? Did you get any training in classroom management?
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