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That is SOooo California Dude....


mstar1
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A friend and former apprentice of mine who is a bit younger moved recently from Brooklyn to California...i have always liked his sense of wit....When i asked him how he like california --He sent me this back email...

I was having an out-of-body experience

> and almost astral-traveled away yesterday,

> so I grounded myself and

>

> got centered with the help of my spirit guides and then

>

> >the phone rang, and sensing the negative vibrations,

>

> >I threw the I-Ching and checked my numerology chart,

>

> >nearly having a primal, but my energy was too blocked.

>

> >So I did some bioenergetics and self-parenting, took

>

> >some flower essences and ate an organic oat bran ginseng

>

> >muffin, but my inner child wasn't feeling nurtured yet.

>

> >To fix this, I had a Rice Dream Frozen Pie, which, of course,

>

> >made me hyper, so I did the relaxation response technique

>

> >I had just learned at the Self Healing Angst Tree Defoliating

>

> >Center while listening to my subliminal tapes.

>

> >But that left me feeling depersonalized, so I did some

>

> >polarity work, foot reflexology and past life regression, then

>

> >rebirthed myself and called Moon Beam, my body worker,

>

> >to make an appointment for a Shiatsu/ Reike/ Rolfing/ Feldenkreis/

>

> >Swedish/ Japanese deep tissue massage. Unfortunately, she

>

> >flaked out and never returned my call, so I decided to energize

>

> >my crystals and do some positive imagery because all my

>

> >visualization techniques and affirmations made my space

>

> >feel invaded.

>

> >So to get empowered, I got a psychic reading from Mother

>

> >Heart Love around the issue of my assertiveness so I could

>

> >feel my radiance and have some energy for my psycho

>

> >calisthenics and inversion swing before my harmonic brain

>

> >wave synergy session.

>

> >This made me more focused for my actualization seminar,

>

> >holistic healing class and dream workshop, which in turn,

>

> >made me clearer for my Gestalt behavioral cognitive

>

> >transpersonal Rechian- Jungian- Freudian- Ericksonian

>

> >session at the hot springs, but my aura was too weak for

>

> >my trance channeling group, so I fasted until noon to

>

> >recharge my chakras.

>

> >At that point, I sensed my intuition was high and my cycle

>

> >was focused, so I turned on my ion generator to open up

>

> >for my Neural Linguistic Programming session. But I

>

> >needed to have my pyramid recharged before my guided

>

> >synchronicity meditation, so I got some craniosacral therapy,

>

> >which aligned me for the fire walk between my tarot card

>

> >reading and my sensory deprivation tank appointment.

>

> >But even after all that, I felt what I truly needed was a

>

> >meaningful relationship to mirror myself, so I went to my

>

> >personal shaman, and then to my guru, but they were no help,

>

> >so instead I went to the Intensive Whole Life Earth Rebirth

>

> >Cosmic Expo Symposium Workshop to find someone who

>

> >really knew what was going on. That didn't help either, so I

>

> >locked myself in a calcium-coated Orgone Box and meditated

>

> >until 9 p.m..

>

> >None of it really worked for me, so I rolled a big fat doobie,

>

> >got stoned, drank a half a bottle of Cabernet, and ate a carton

>

> >of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream --

>

> >and did I feel right with the world

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Ok I know I'm from Texas but what in the H did he just say.

I don't try to understand people from New York City(remember that New Jersey is just an exit number).

I really don't understand California people.

But what makes it all right is that when they move here they can't understand us either. Then they move home. Ya'll can come visit, leave your money, then go home.

We carry guns, drive trucks, eat meat, and generally tell it strait.

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  • 3 months later...
:biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh: Very funny, Mstar1, but you have to admire those Californians for coming up with some creative options for attitude adjustment...I prefer the simple Optorecectomy - having a surgeon sever the nerve between your eyeballs and a$$hole - then you no longer have that $hi+ +y outlook on life. :blink: Edited by T-Bone
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ALL THE LEAVES ARE BROWN...

and the sky is gray....

got down on my knees....

and I began to pray....

If I didnt tell her,

I could leave today...

CALIFORNIA....CALIFORNIA DREAMIN ON SUCH A WINTERS DAY................

THAN AGAIN, YOU COULD TAKE WIERWILLES STANCE....

California will fall off the face of the earth someday.

GOSH, wouldnt that be like...bad...dude??

Edited by prayingfordaylight
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I am so glad my CALIFORNIA DREAMINGS days are not like that. But it is funny that life for some is like that. Truly I miss the smog and congestion of traffic everywhere, clover-leaf upon clover-leaf....Manicured lawns, Different diversity of people in 1 mile or less radius of each other. Who wouldn't. Not...... I miss my friends the most. :cryhug_1_:

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That is the one thing that is really awesome about California...diversity.

And not just diversity, but how accepting most Californians are of diversity.

In the midst of all those people, all that traffic, all those beautiful places, most Californians...(most of my entire family has lived there for 30 years) are very very accepting of all of that.

Rock on, dudes.

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Ditto for me. When I ran away from home, I wound up in California. Finished high school, found my first love, bought my first car, saw the sights up and down the coast, went to work, met some WOW's, took the class, and left two years later. Have been back occasionally on business trips, and it still has the same "feel" to it (if a big more smoggy).

"California Dreaming"-a fav song-great memories.

No regrets about that time of my young life.

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Ditto Wayfer Not.....

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Thanks, one of my favorites, among many.

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Wafer,

I agree! If I could afford it, I'd LOVE to find a place around Carmel or Monterrey. That's where I have my fondest memories, and the area is gorgeous.

But, alas, fate (TWI style), work obligations, whatever-here I am-stuck in the desert.

I would not want to live in the LA area again-it was fun back in the earlt 70's, but now it's just a mess. Been there often enough on business to know that. Even the freeway signs have turned brown. San Francisco-still quaint, but same crowding issues.

No, give me a little plot of green near the ocean, and I'll consider that heaven.

Guess my "believing" is not in alignment and harmony. My needs and wants aren't parallel. I don't have my-oh-somebody slap me! :biglaugh:

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I LOVE Carmel or Monterey also, but I think San Diego is THE place to be! I lived in the SF Bay Area. I like it there also, but you are right about the crowding. And LA, YUK!!!! I can't imagine the draw to that place. It is ugly and confusing.

Guess I am the lucky one here then - I live in San Diego and love it - but I sure love Monterey as well. You can keep LA and SF.

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You are lucky RR, especially if you own a house in San Diego. I left San Diego 2 years ago to marry. I feel like the luckiest person in the world to be married to the man I am, but I don't like where I live. We hope to make a change in the next year or so. If the housing market crashes in California, then maybe I can afford a house there.

I remember when I lived in the SF Bay Area in the early 90s. You could get a house for $100,000. Today you can't touch one for less than $600,000. :blink: It's all hindsite now, but I remember being appalled when they were $100,000. I guess I will always feel houses are too much money in the fun places to live.

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If the housing market crashes in California, then maybe I can afford a house there.

I remember when I lived in the SF Bay Area in the early 90s. You could get a house for $100,000. Today you can't touch one for less than $600,000. :blink: It's all hindsite now, but I remember being appalled when they were $100,000. I guess I will always feel houses are too much money in the fun places to live.

It has flattened somewhat but by no means crashed. I feel the same way about SD housing as you do about SF. The 2600 sq ft brand new home we bought in 1997 for $275K sold 4 years later for $500K. Those same houses are now $800K

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