Nottawayfer

I remember hearing more than once that the ministry was the Word. When I remember a conversation I had with a Cabinet Overseer's wife about VPW's adultery, she sounded concerned about it, but she said "What do you do? Leave the Word?" That ladies and gentleman is a classic example of drinking koolaid and being brain washed.

That really puts people in a bad situation. Seriously....what if you had diarreah or if you were feeling dehydrated? I hate it when company production does not take humanitarian issues in to consideration. I worked for NEC on an electronic assembly line. The whole management was from Japan. We worked like dogs. They had a cafeteria too so they could keep you there instead of people leaving for lunch and chance coming back late. I HAVE to leave the premises for lunch. I need the mental break. I go home for lunch since I live about 7 minutes away. My husband meets me for lunch, and I am spoiled to have time with him in the middle of the day. Plus I get to see my dogs and give them a treat. It's a ritual I would never give up.

It sounds like management needs to establish an area for smoking away from the elevators. Do you have clients using the same elevators? Surely they wouldn't want them to smell the nasty horrible cigarette smell. I work for the County, and we moved in to a new building a little over 3 years ago. The County Manager established that the campus would be a non-smoking campus. It's posted at all the entrances as you drive in to the parking lot. The public is always smoking outside as they walk up to the building. When we first moved there, we had a very zealous "security" woman who would always meet those people to tell them it was a non-smoking campus. The County Manager is a retired Navy Captain with a nacisstic Type A personality. He even claimed employees could not go to their car and smoke. They have to go off County property to smoke. Imagine what that does to breaks? There's no enforcement of time on breaks or lunches. And employees are smoking in their cars coming in to the parking lot and as soon as they leave the parking lot. There's a business across the street who set up an awning and a picnic table with a butt can for the employees. It is a car repair place. I don't take official breaks. I figure if I get stopped in my office to chat with someone during the day, that's my break. It does happen because we have over 50 people in our office, and I'm always on the move. So it's next to impossible for someone to stop you and ask you how you are. Some other co-workers and I decided to start climbing the stairs on an afternoon break though. We are always aware of our time. I don't think the smokers are though. I think they believe they are entitled since they can't smoke on the property.

What if they have to use the restroom during a time that's not a break time? People ususally don't have control over when nature calls.

That pi$$e$ me off to no end!!! WTF is WRONG with people to do that??? I have watched plenty of shows about sharks, and if you put bloody fish in the water, the shark will come. GAWD!!! This really riles me up!!!

His practical error became his doctrine. He was a selfish lush who didn't think of others yet wanted the glory and worship. He got exactly what he wanted, and I belive he received the consequences of his actions. I hope he thought it was worth it.

My understanding is if you have more than 10 years before you need your invested money, your money will buy more stocks right now than it ever did before. If you have the time to wait, you will be really happy you did because the price per share will increase significantly. She also says if you need your money within 5 years, do not leave it in the stock market. This is a mistake many have made.

Oprah had her Best Life themed show last week. Suze Orman has a book out to help people plan financially for 2009. It is free on Oprah's website if you want it. It will be there for a week. I believe Suze was on Oprah's show Wednesdayr or Thursday. Download Suze's Book for Free

Priceless and soooo true! I love it!

We got a new look? I really liked seeing that we were TWI's morning cup of reality. Where did that go?

People have a hard enough time communicating in forward. Why would they even try to understand reverse?? That is weird. It reminded me of churches who try to prove rock music is devilish when they play it backwards.

There are some people out there who have no problem attracting the opposite sex to their lives. It seems that one person dated leaves and another is at the door almost the next day. OK, maybe it was 3 months. It seemed like the next day to me because I never seemed to get a new boyfriend lthat quickly. Anywhoo. What I want to say is that if someone deliberately decides what they want in their mate and decides they will love their life no matter if the man/woman of their dreams comes, then they are in a better place for themselves. Taking this time allows you to consider your life and your dreams and what makes you happy. Then if another knock comes at the door, YOU make the decision where you want it to go. You don't have to accept someone just because they seem interested in you. Some people think that they don't want to miss out on a chance at love, so they hook up with whomever seems attracted to them. Why hook up? Why not take time to just hang out to decide if you even want to be with that person? Doing this without the pressures of a relationship will help you see outside of the scenario more. And please don't ignore any red flags you see. I have a good friend who has a boyfriend of 5 years. They've lived together for 4.5 of those years. I've heard her do nothing but complain. He is irresponsible with money. She decideds to stay with him even though this DRIVES her up the wall. She saw the red flags BEFORE he moved in. He borrowed money and didn't take responsibility to pay it back. It was thousands of dollars. I told her it was a red flag she shouldn't forget. But she got involved anyway, and she seems unhappy about everything. The problem for her: he doesn't cheat on her or doesn't belittle her like her ex husband did. She accepts the money thing even though she doesn't realize how much she talks about it. I remind her. I also remind her how unhappy she sounds. She doesn't marry him because of this. Yet she doesn't want to move separately because it's too hard--like a divorce. Personally, I wouldn't want to be in that kind of relationship. I like her boyfriend, and I think he's a very approachable and likeable guy. I would not hook myself up with a guy who is clueless (uh oh, not THAT word again) about money and who refuses to understand why he needs to get up to speed about it. This guy isn't growing in his life. He constantly avoids issues that are uncomfortable. If you are growing, you want somoene else who is growing also. None of us are perfect. But being likeable, nice or cute is not a reason to be with someone.

I find people are interested. I find I am usually open with people, and I have no shame in my past experiences. I believe they all lend to who you are today, and they provide learning. I spent 4 hours the other night talking to someone about my 20 years in a cult. Everyone says I should write a book. I tried, but I don't feel inspired about it anymore. Maybe later.

I've learned more compassion for people. Like it was said before, I also learned to accept people where they are. I've learned to be able to hear differing opinions without getting "spiritually" upset, and I no longer accept that there is one truth out there. I look at life more and learn from it whereas before I was constantly analyzing "Does it line up with the Word?" "Is there a Devil spirit behind that?" I feel I spent way too much time feeling like I had all the answers and wanted to make sure people knew about my answers to life. People out there can teach you a lot if you watch and listen. That's a huge step for me.

I believed I worked with a sociopath. He was extremely charming. That is how he sucked people in. He was hired to do a job he wasn't qualified for, but we were willing to train him. He contstantly was doing everything except what he was supposed to be learning. At his 3 month review, he wrote a memo to his supervisor telling her how he believed things could be changed in our office--things that weren't even related to the section in which he worked! Normally the probationary period is 6 months. His was extended 2 times for 3 months each. Finally after 1 year, he was off probation. That was a major sign, but my boss wanted to give him every benefit of the doubt....foolish. This guy left about a month after his year to help his wife run the restaurant they started a few weeks prior. He came to me to shake my hand. I told him he shouldn't quit his job that he had a stable income and benefits which his family (they have a 5 year old daughter) would lose if he quit. He said "they" were after him. He meant the management. I told him he was wrong because he would have been let go during his probationary period if they were really after him. His restaurant failed because he bombarded customers at the door with his political agendas. He decided to retaliate against my boss by running against him in the last election. My boss is a county elected official. The ex employee tried everything he could to ruin my boss' reputation. It didnt' work. My boss won the election with 67% of the votes. I did research on this guy, and his name is all over the internet because of a lawsuit he filed against a previous employer. He distributed fliers to employees with disparaging comments about the corporation and the management. He was suspended and fired. He tried to get money out of them. It went all the way to the Supreme Court in Washington DC. They dropped the case. This wacko said it was because the corporation had ties in Washington. In the meantime, this guy borrowed money from his credit card to fund his campaign. I got copies of his campaign reports. Nobody ever donated any money to his campaign. Today, he has lost his house. I saw the Treasurer's Deed recorded in the Recorder's website. He lost the space he rented for his restaurant for non-payment. He trashed the bulding the restaurant was in. Now he has the audacity to ask for investors to buy a building for his restaurant. In the meantime, the previous landlords are screwed out of the money he didn't pay along with the damages to the building. The restaurant was almost turnkey when he moved in, and it had been newly remodeled. The landlords are facing foreclosure on all of their properties because of the detriment this guy caused them. Everywhere this guy goes, there is distruction and emotional turmoil. I hope he goes away now that he has no business or home here. He put his own ego and motives BEFORE his family and their well-being. I saw his son's myspace profile. His mother and sister are listed as his heroes. I think that speaks volumes. His dad boasts himself as a decorated Navy Pilot. I think it's a lie, but I couldn't get his military records to prove anything. Here's some characteristics I saw online of a sociopath: Profile of the Sociopath This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths. Glibness and Superficial Charm Manipulative and Conning They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims. Grandiose Sense of Self Feels entitled to certain things as "their right." Pathological Lying Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests. Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way. Shallow Emotions When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises. Incapacity for Love Need for Stimulation Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common. Callousness/Lack of Empathy Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others. Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc. Irresponsibility/Unreliability Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed. Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts. Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively. Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Other Related Qualities: Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them Authoritarian Secretive Paranoid Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired Conventional appearance Goal of enslavement of their victim(s) Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love) Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim Incapable of real human attachment to another Unable to feel remorse or guilt Extreme narcissism and grandiose May state readily that their goal is to rule the world (The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.)

I joined even though I was never in residence. I was only apprentice corps. At first there was an issue with me joining since I wasn't in residence. I told him I was there to connect with people I haven't seen in years and who I've never found at GSC. He said I could get a temporary ID, but then he never deleted my account. Maybe it will be deleted after this. Oh well.

You can ask John for a temporary user id so y ou can get in. You might find a lot of people there you won't see here. If you want to get in touch with some people from the past, it's a good place to do that.

There are a ton of Strauhals on John Richeson's Corps website.

OMG! That is soooo true especially when you put a spiritual twist on it like TWI tried to do to with EVERYTHING!!

As someone who started posting while still in TWI, I would have been flabbergasted if I were required to use my real name. I wouldn't have posted, and I wouldn't have received the benefit that I did. Posting anonymously allowed me to say whatever I felt I needed to say. I agree wholeheartedly that Pawtucket should be able to pursue his personal life even if it means no more Greasespotcafe.com. If someone is so distraught over it being gone or not being able to post anymore, they need to start up their own website. Greasespotcafe.com is a child of waydale.com, and it has worked wonderfully.

I haven't read every post on this thread. I just want to thank Pawtucket for taking on the reigns once Waydale was finished. I don't think I would have been able to get to the point of leaving TWI or getting through it without Greasespotcafe.com. It has been 6 years since I left TWI, and the reading here has been invaluable to me and my sanity as I got over all of the waybrain during the 20 years I was in TWI. I think making the forums readable only is a great idea. I think there is enough information in the forums to help people. I particularly think "About The Way" from 2000 to 2003 or 2004 probably has some of the best conversations for those leaving TWI. I would like to extend my extreme thanks to Pawtucket and every Greasespot moderator who put in their time to make sure everything was kept in check here.

Hubby and I decided just today that we are going to make our own tradition. We will no longer feel obligations to anyone, and we are going to the movie tonight to see "Seven Pounds". I'm taking some tissues with me.

I think if people decided what they wanted out of life and started living the life along with learning to love themselves (even if they are alone), then they are in a better place to attract someone who is emotionally healthy for them. After my divorce, I spent 9 years making mistakes with horrible relationships. These 9 years were during the most trying time of a woman's life to be single (my 30s). I was DESPEREATE to get married and start having a family. Again, I believe God protected me from my own agenda. There was a lot of heartache and disappointment until I left TWI at 39 and started realizing I needed to cultivate who I wanted to be. I didn't want to be the girl who grew up in an unhappy alcoholic home whose parents married twice and are still unhappy. I didn't want to be a failure at relationships or marriage again. I didn't want to keep walking in circles because I was lost on my trail. I wanted to discover that new trail of my life which had georgous sunsets and beautiful trees and flowers. I started going to my favorite place on earth, Torrey Pines State Park in San Diego. It has hiking trails which overlook the ocean. That was calming and exhilerating at the same time. Enjoying nature and just talking to my innerself. I went places to meet new people (i.e., weight watchers, kindness ministry at church, women's small group at church, craft classes). I met my best friend today at one of those functions. That was the only time I was thankful for door-to-door witnessing. I wasn't afraid to approach people and start talking. It's was a lot easier when I didn't have an agenda. I just wanted to see what kind of person they were and wanted to see if there was a chance to develop a healthy friendship. My BFF and I went to dinners together; we went on a Mexico vacation together; and we shared our dreams of having a healthy relationship. I didn't miss dating because I had my BFF. We dated each other (without the romantic stuff ;)). After I knew I could date without thinking it could be something more because I wanted to make them prove to me that they were worthy of me, I did internet dating. I went had over 20 dates within 6 months. I met a lot of fun people, weird people, and sucky people. It was fun because I wasn't in it for a relationship. I was in it to meet people. I guess it was kind of a time to prove to myself that I could date and not get wrapped up in someone emotionally. I drew a line up front about physical stuff with myself and the date. Then I met my husband. He lived 360 miles from me in the next state. We talked on the phone and instant messaged on yahoo for HOURS and HOURS. We learned about each other, learned about our pasts, learned about our previous marriages and why they broke down, and learned about what made each other tick. We did this all without getting physcially involved (obviously because of the distance). We spoke on the phone every night. We spoke more than 14 hours a week. After 3 weeks, we met in person. He felt like home, but I wasn't going to make a hasty decision. We took turns visiting every other weekend. I met his friends, his family, and his co-workers. Every person I met had many great things to say about him. We went to dinner with his childhood friend and his wife. They shared stories about what they did as kids. Everything I saw and heard allowed me to know who this guy was. Because we spent more time getting to know each other before having a relationship, it allowed us to decide to marry by the 4th month we knew each other. My mind was doing flip flops over that because I SWORE I would only marry after a lengthy engagement. I thought it through many times for many days and couldn't see a reason why I shouldn't. I didn't see any red flags. I honestly searched within myself about why we would be together. It was because we enjoyed each other at all times of the day. It wasn't about money or status or sex. I'm not saying we are perfect people by any means. But I feel we did the homework to enjoy what we are today. We've will celebrate our 5th anniversary in a few months. Many can say that we are still newly weds and that we still have to get to know each other. I know this marriage is different than my first. At the 5th anniversary of my first marriage, I was planning how I would leave. I started thinking about divorce by the 3rd anniversary of my first marriage. Divorce is not even in my thoughts now. I KNOW I've done it better this time. There are no fairy tales. Live in reality in your relationships. Romance is not flowers, dinners, passionate love making, or "I've waiting for you my whole life." That can be true, but it shouldn't be the basis for a relationship. Get to know each other as people BEFORE you get serious with someone. If you don't, the googly stage will take over your mind and common sense. I don't even remember a googly stage with my husband. I feel everything we've experienced has been real, not built-up romance. Then once you get your soulmate, cherish them and never take them for granted. Learn to speak their love language and do it. Sure we get busy and wrapped up with life, but we always have to take time to nurture our relationships. Instead of getting resentful like I did in my past, I just ask my husband "What is my love language?" He smiles every time. We established that we would speak each other's love language from the very beginning, and it allows us to go back to the foundation we set without resentment. I wouldn't be enjoying what I do today had I not taken the time to nurture myself and figure out why I had made the choices I did in the past.

Ham, I understand people trying to keep it going because we still believe saving marriage is still honorable, and it is. I remember the bondage I felt to leave my first husband over his drug use. In my mind, I made a commitment to him and God. When the light finally came through, I knew that marraige was never what God intended for me. I didn't listen when God was telling me it wasn't the best choice for my life. Many people stay in miserable marriages because it becomes comfortable for them. Or it becomes too much of a chore to think about leaving when they know they need to. People like to take the easier path or make less waves.

Ham, That's life learning. It's too bad when someone waits 25 years to see something for what it is. Although I find it hard to understand that someone would not see something until 25 years later.