Nottawayfer

I've had dreams (nightmares more like it) that I've gone back on Staff. I know I'm no longer in TWI, but I don't tell anyone. It will NEVER NEVER NEVER happen again. It's weird because I have strange moments in my own brain about considering going back if they changed. Yeah right. Am I effin' crazy? I must be to have a thought like that. Then I wake myself up, reminding myself that abusers NEVER change.

There was a baseball player who played for the Oakland A's who took PFAL. I don't remember his name, but I do remember he was arrested for wife beating. So much for the truth changing his life. <_<

FYI: If you are still running Windows XP like I am (gasp!), you won't be able to download IE 8. You are better off downloading Mozilla Firefox.

I couldn't go home for Christmas because I was the low man on the totem poll, so everyone else in my department was granted a Christmas vacation except me. That's why I couldn't go home for Christmas. My understanding now is they "allow" the Staff to take vacations other than December, April or June. That's mighty big of them to "allow" that.

What was her response when you told her your personal business had no business on a ministry calendar?

Are you serious? You have psoriasis? I do too! Enbrel is my "Magic". I don't know how I survived so long without it!

This is small potatoes compared to what that stark raving lunatic used to yell about at lunch. I remember the fear of most Staff was being made in to a lunch time ravings. I heard so much crap spewed from his mouth over years of being on Staff. I heard personal details about other people's lives. He had absolutely no right to share this information on a public forum like he did. It is ethically and morally wrong on so many levels. Yet so many of us sat there looking like deer in the headlights. We were afraid to say anything to another for fear of it getting out and then getting your arse reamed. Yes, that was life in the Promised Land of the Prevailing Word.

OMG! I was thinking about this very subject this week. I got called to jury duty on Monday. When they gathered all the jurors for our case, I was in the first group for questioning. My heart sank when we were told the case was a child molestation case. I knew I wouldn't be able to hear details like that without crying. I COULD NOT sit through it. All of the questions were asked by the judge, but none allowed me to answer in a way that would represent my biased attitude about anyone accused of child molestation. Then the defense attorney asked if anyone had a problem with thinking child molesters are guilty even before being tried. I raised my hand with a resounding YES! It was an honest response from my heart. The judge asked me if I thought my feelings would affect my ability to be impartial to the evidence presented. I told him it would be difficult because I do belive in the justice system which allows a defendent to be innocent until proven guilty. Then I started crying and said I couldn't hear the details without a lot of emotion. He excused me ont eh basis that I wouldn't be able to control my emotions in a case like this. I said "How can you NOT??" I was shaken up for hours. WHY? I also pent up a lot of emotions before and during TWI. I felt anxiety in the court room, and I wonder if it is due to lack of emotional maturity also. I grew up with a violent alcoholic father. I felt repressed as a child. Maybe that's part of the reason why I got involved in the cult. My dad doesn't drink anymore, but he still is very controlling in situations when I'm around him. I remind him I'm an adult who doesn't need any direction. I can direct myself just fine. I'm thinking about therapy about my lack of emotional control. I cry when I see deserving people win money or home redecorations or something else they need. Good God! Don't get near me on an emotional Oprah day! Oh! And the SPCA commercial with Sarah McLachlen singing....OMG! That one gets me too! I HATE to see or hear about animal abuse. I'm really interested in hearing anyone's success in getting better at controlling emotions.

JJ, Don't be concerned about how quickly you "get over it". There are some things which are harder to get over. I've been out for 7 1/2 years. I'm over most of it for the mostpart. There are a few things which p!$$ me off from time to time when I think about it, but that's human. Everyone does get over it within their own time. If you are wacked out crazy after a few years, then I'd suggest therapy. That's the beauty of realizing you really aren't a waybot. I've been here more in the last few than I've been here in a long time. It's only because these new, interesting people popped up. Plus I believe in the outlet GSC is for a lot of people who left TWI. There's no other place for people to vent their feelings, thoughts, and frustrations and have people who really understand. I also believe that those who left need to have their hunches validated. People need to know what TWI is REALLY about.

I never bought the head of the household malarkey. My husband and I are equal partners in our relationship. I like that arrangement much better! I do try to boss my husband around once in awhile because that's just my nature! Usually it's with driving. I tell him "Hey turn down this road." He keeps going straight. I ask "Did you hear me???" He responds: "I did. I'm not doing it." Then I can't help but laugh. I love my husband!

She isn't there anymore. She was Corps and got married to non-Corps. She had been at HQ every since graduating from the Corps. I think she graduated around 1987 give or take a few years. She had a fellowship for a short time but was brought to the big house until she got married. She was a very bossy person. I remember her asking me if I was going in the Corpse. I said no. She said "What? Nobody should ever say they aren't going in to the Corps!!! What if God calls you?" I told her I didn't hear the call and never planned to. Yes, if I knew everything before going on Staff. The most irritating thing to me was being told I could not go home for Christmas, and I was not due a vacation because I was first year staff. I was treated better out in the world. When I was on Staff, we had two choices of vacation: Christmas or summer. Then they added April the last year or two I was there. You absolutely could not take a vacation any other time. That sucked when you were trying to make plans. Also, you never got to pick your vacation time. You gave your first and second choices to the Dept. Coord, and they decided who was going when. Too much control! Here ya go Rosalez!

I was on Staff for 5 years. I went with a pure heart, and I wanted to serve. I considered it a privilege. I left feeling used, and questioning everything I ever did in TWI. The amount of butt chewing will tear any good person down. The amount of fake smiles is astounding. I learned to question myself and never believe God could work in me because there was almost alway some kind of reproof around the corner. Those who work for year upon year in the bookstore, housekeeping, or food services are never afforded an opportunity to use these skills outside TWI for any decent wage. The only good thing I got out of working there was the required study of English in while working in Word Processing. It had been a lot of years since I studied English, and I was very rusty in that subject. Studying English was a requirement. It helped me in my current job field. I don't give thanks for that to the BOD of TWI. I give it to one person in Word Processing who is a lifer on Staff who considered it very important to Word Processing work. I remember once incident of a Corps girl telling me I was working too hard while doing a step aerobics workout. She told me this because I wasn't checking my pulse. She tried to take over and coach me without being invited or solicited for advice. When she finished her spew, we were walking down the hall and she said "You didn't even thank me." I said "I never asked for your advice, nor did I need it." She was put off. I listened to her spew because she was Corps and I was a koolaid drinking sheeple.

JJ: I had a similar incident when I ran in to a person from my fellowship after leaving TWI. She and I lived in the same apartment complex, so we attended the same fellowship. When I moved to another area of my metro area, I was supposed to change fellowships. I just never went. I sent an email to my FC and BC telling them I would never attend another ministry function and do not call me or come to see me. I still worked in the area near my old apartment when I ran in to the other person who went to fellowship with me. She came up to say hi and asked how my new fellowship was. I told her I no longer attended fellowship. This lady was "one of the weird ones". She was considered odd by most wayfers, but she was committed and they liked that part. When she asked why, I said it wasn't profitable for me to get in to it all. She held her hand up to my face and walked away. This was in the middle of Target. Then she literally ran to the checkout stand. I was looking at items nearby and caught her continually looking at me. I rolled by eyes and walked out of her view. I wanted to give her the finger, but I wanted to be the bigger person. Your dream about black coyotes and a mangey puppy is a vidid dream. It gave me chills.

Married couples sharing rooms is a huge sign that TWI had too many people than they could handle. That's greed on TWI's part. They should have set a limit of people coming based on the housing they had available. Wasn't there a time when some in-residence Corps had to sleep in barns?

Let's not forget that other HUGE hypoctire minister from Colorado, Ted Haggard, who payed for gay sex and meth, yet he lied through his teeth on camera that he was not gay and didn't use the drugs. You could see he was lying. It was blatant. My BBULL$h!t meter was going off the charts. I saw that man on Oprah, and he still denies he's gay. I see very clearly he is. I don't believe he'll be peaceful until he realizes the truth. Even in him denying his gayness, I saw he was anxious and not completely comfortable about answering that way. I think his wife is a complete idiot for staying with him. He is a MASTER DECEIVER! I know it's his religion that keeps him from admitting he's gay. I hate that the majority of religion puts shame on the gays. LCM didn't leave HQ in good graces. If he had gotten a good amount of money or a large house, why does he have to work at places like Bally's Total Fitness or Home Depot? We know he worked at Bally's because someone here at GSC took a picture of his personal trainer introduction board.

I don't know about when they first gave him the boot. I have a friend who lives in Toledo, who said they ran in to him at Home Depot, his place of employment. [side note: we know his first job out of TWI was a personal trainer at Bally's Fitness. So much for his ability to run a large corporation, huh?] Anywhoo, this person went to LCM's apartment. They said he looked tattered, his hair resembling the goofy scientist from Back to the Future. His apartment was an efficiency apartment. He's still an @$$. He doesn't think he did anything wrong. VPW gave him carte blanche to boink whomever he wished as Prez of TWI. My friend said he had a big grudge against Rozilla. I wonder if he's p!$$ed over her stealing his wife. :o

Wow! That video excie posted was eye-opening! I remember the days when TWI was proud of being "the largest growing cult in America". Of course it was said in jest. I'm sure they were happy they were growing like they were in the 70s and 80s. It brought in a TON of money for them. I remember Rhoda W telling me she would warn Uncle Harry and VPW of their doings with money in the early days, and she was ....ed they didn't listen to her. I use to eat lunch out with her on many Sundays. She said a lot. I wished I had the balls at that time to pry and ask questions. I was scared to ask her questions or even know anything because of the wrath of Martinfail. Javajane, I'm sorry to hear about your brother's past. The fact that he is 2 years sober and educating himself and setting goals really shows a lot of strength and determination on his part. I pray for the continued healing of your family.

Soulsearcher: LCM said the devil came to Eve in the form of a woman to have lesbian sex with her, and that was man's original sin. When I heard this is his WAP class, my jaw was hitting the floor. LCM and his butt kissers were so proud of that class because it presented the Word in a better way than the outdated PFAL did. I think he liked shock and awe. I knew people who were just chomping at the bit to hear what LCM had to say or teach (me included ). That class was so full of crap, I'm surprised we couldn't smell it back then. LCM said his teaching on Eve's lesbian encouter was the reason why VPW's Christian Family and Sex Class didn't take off that well. Supposedly VPW was headed in the right direction with masturbation being the original sin, but it was not quite the answer according to LCM. Did anyone else hear CF&S and scratch their head every single time they heard the masturbation sin thing and still never get it?

LCM hardly had any eruite research IMHO. He researched things and made it excathedra for his own selfish reasons. Remember? Eve was a lesbian? He tried to use old painting of a woman and a serpent near a tree with "sexual" connoctations assumed. The funny thing to me is LCM referred to lesbians as pillow biters, yet my understanding of his adulterous affairs included girl on girl action. That spells hypocrite to me.

Does anyone remember a "creed" LCM had printed which was supposed to be the creed of homosexuals. It spoke of things like homosexual men watching for boys in bathrooms at movie theaters. Thinking back to these horrible things, I think LCM was trying to really rile up the masses with this junk. Very few homosexuals are pedafiles. I don't believe homosexuals have a "creed" as LCM spoke of. I think this creed was for pedafiles, and LCM stamped it "homosexual" to make all homosexuals inclusive of this disgusting behavior. I can't believe I was so stupid to belive this. I never diss anyone because of their sexual orientation now. I make my decisions about people based on their character. They can be any religion, sexual orientation, or political status....I don't care. [edited to correct spelling error.]

Using P&F Allen as an example, I remember we were told in our departments they were escorted off grounds because they were making very disparaging accusations against the BOT. Those on Staff were blind for another year until the law suit came out and portions of truth HAD to come out because we could read it in the newspaper. I got a kick seeing so many Staffers going to town to buy papers so they could see what was being said. They knew we weren't given the whole story. I don't remember being told the Allens were possessed, but they were definitely spoken badly of so we would take the side of the BOT. We know the truth now.

Life is so much better outside TWI. I'd rather be a greasespot any day. I make more money the King Oakie has since he lost his throne. And I have true, meaningful relationships, the world's best husband ever, and my family loves me no matter how crappy I treated them while I was in TWI. That is REAL unconditional love. Thank God for them! Meeting Belle in person was a highliight too! Hey girl!

It's rather funny she wants it to remain somewhat to the way VPW had it. Those who worked under her in Way Pub said she used to diss him all the time when he called for her. She would tell her Staff to tell him she was out. I got the idea she couldn't stand him. It makes me wonder why she hung around? She sure waited a long time to be in power. I'm sure there's more to it than anyone ever will know.

I'm not one who would want genetic testing to see what I'm predisposed to. I don't think it helps people be in a healthy place if that news is constantly in the back of their mind. I'd rather deal with something once and IF it actually came up.

There was mention from another thread about Br*an Moneyhands and complaints about how things were going. Do I understand he's waiting for Rozilla to die off before change happens? REALLY? Who does he think will take over? I suspect it will be Donna M unless they both drive it in to the ground before Rozilla dies. How many more people can they run over and expect them to stick around? If Moneyhands Jr. is thinking this, surely his dad is too. How many top butt kissers do you think are preparing a coup to take over the place? I wonder if the current BOT could demand Rozilla to step down. There would have to be some legal issue before it happened. That was the only way they got King Oakie out of there. Does anyone have any speculation on this?