JustSayNO

Just got an email from a friend still in. The last fellowship in his state is disbanding and he mentioned no Advanced Class this year. Dont know if he meant this past summer or if he was referring to next year.I know its vague info, but I respect him too much to share which state and I havent gotten a reply to elaborate on the Advanced Class. Just a FYI.

I don't know Terry personally. I've met him a couple times, but know his sons. The entire family left back a couple years ago. Terry wrote an awesome multiple page letter that he sent out to all the leadership and people in the fellowships. It was quite a remarkable and a very well written letter that hits home on so many levels and gracefully and "Bluntly" tells The Way off. If I have all my facts right, 1 or 2 entire fellowships of people left with or because of him and his son, who was running another fellowship in town. If his sons are any example of the type person Terry is then he must be one Heck of a guy. Apparently others felt the same since they left with them. Beyond that, I dont know much about what they are doing now. I know one of his sons is deeply involved and extremely happy with Larry and Connie P's group. They are still in OH and am fairly sure they can be reached by a simple web search. ....... a few minutes later.... I found the letter and will attempt to copy it here for you. It was quite moving and hope more people "in" can take it to heart. We are eternally linked with you by the spirit of God. May we always love and care for one another! Terry & Cindy Forgive me for any typos I may have made copying this and hope that Terry and Cindy are not upset that I have taken the liberty to share it here where people can read what is needed to be heard and not "Say Nothing". I wish this had been written and made available when I made the decission to leave. It would have saved many agonizing hours of condemnaation and arguements with myself. -JSN

Thanks! Good to hear, look forward to see how it works.

EDIT:- nevermind, it would only fuel the fires. But Abi, I feel ya, take care.

From: Boot the Wierwille apologists Easy solution,Civility would entail taking a debate on someone elses thread and starting your own. And labeling it "DEBATE- whatever the topic is" that way people know it is an open thread for controversy. that way you can have at it all you want there. And if someone insists on derailing an defacing someone elses thread, then they are destructive, being intentional in their actions and deserve to be banned for being an uncivalized troll. again, my opinion This was a response on another thread I think would be better posted here.

Most excellent video! ps. on the youtube page there is a a line of code you need to copy, its right of a video, just below the description and labeled embed. copy that here and make sure HTML ON- Auto Linebreak Mode is selected in post options that easy

Easy solution, Civility would entail taking a debate on someone elses thread and starting your own. And labeling it "DEBATE- whatever the topic is" that way people know it is an open thread for controversy. that way you can have at it all you want there. And if someone insists on derailing an defacing someone elses thread, then they are destructive, being intentional in their actions and deserve to be banned for being an uncivalized troll. again, my opinion

Hey Raf, Good Luck!! I'm going on 5 years myself. I tried for years to quit without success. Then a family member went into the hospital for surgery and came out of it requiring to be on a breather. They were told to quit. So I decided to quit with her. Either all my family smoked or had never smoked; so either they couldn't relate or would be hypocites when it came to support. I went to CVS and bought 3 boxes of the patches and 1 pack of cigs. I went home and enjoyed them for the next 24 hrs and then decided it was time to quit. I was still in TWI but highly aggitated with them. I will credit them with teaching me how to make a decision and stick to it.(this and leaving them were the 2 best decisions I ever made while still in TWI) So I didnt remove any old packs of cigs from the house or throw my lighters out, I just put them away and said that my decision was final, I was quitting. Now I had a few days off from work and that helped get over the quick hump. on the 3rd day I got called into work for an emergency. I went and got some Starburst to chew on and had a big ole paperclip to play with to keep me distracted. I tell you, that was the most God awful 3hrs of my life. Every piece I chewed and every twist and twiddle of that paperclip only reminded me of how much I wanted one. I had done better the first 3 days than I was doing right then. So I made a decision to just "make the decision"(if that makes sense) that I hadn't quit, I just didn't want anymore cigarettes. If I had one it wasnt a failure, I would just move and not have anymore. Not that I did have any, but it took the stress off. I never put the patch on at night because it made me twitchy all night, so the next day I forgot to put the patch on before work. It was a bit rough but by the time I got home it was too late to put one on or I would be up all nght. Well I overslept and ran out of the house the next morning, forgeting again. Well, same thing again, no patch cause i got off late. the next morning I took the patch with me to work but (LOL) forgot again. So that night I was like, why bother anymore. I had only used 3 patches of 1 box and had 2 full ones left, So I took them to work and gave em to a coworker and havent looked back since. Speed forward 6 months, I get a phone call from a friend who was really having a hard time in life and they lived 8hrs from me. It was apparent from the time I picked up the phone that they were drunk. Well this person was contemplating suicide quite vocally. I was getting stressed out and found my old pack of cigs and lit one up while listening. I took 2 puffs off of it and said to myself silently "Hunny, I luv ya and would do anything for ya, except this" and threw it in the toilet. Needess to say it was a false alarm and nothing came of it. And to this day I've yet to have another lit one in my mouth. Oh, and that relative never did stop smoking <_< Oh well, ya me!! So, you can do it, just keep distracting yourself. Remember if you dont make a decision, its quite possible that when you stop taking that stuff that you might start up again by using it as an excuse for why you didnt have one. It's Willpower, willpower willpower! Good luck

I looked behind the curtain and ran screaming from the room. Nice and well thought out.

OMG, that was sooo funny and bad at the same time.

Absolutely!

I think it was a referal to the pro vs anti Wierwille and the long-time posters

Sweet excathedra, I feel like you think I've attacked or dont care about your experiences. That's far from the truth. I feel for you and everyone here who has been hurt by the ministry no matter how it happened. We are all victims to some degree or another, but some like yourself have apparently hade some true horrors in your past and if I coud take those memories away so you could live with out it I would. I guess I'm coming at this whole thing from a totally different angle than everyone and am tired of the fight so to speak. I wrote this to someone in a PM and they asked that I post in the forum. So even though it isn't directed at you or your experience, this thread is probably still the place to post it

As I stated in another thread...

Well, I said my peace on the subject and offered my opinion as to an easy solution, I'll fade into the background now. What Pawtucket decides to do will determine if this site is useful to me anymore and if I will choose to point people toward it in the future. I belonged to The Way once, I'll not put myself in another place that is uncivalized and thrives on strife or strict adherence of particular viewpoints. good luck.

Great statement, I truely think your right. I seldom post for just that reason and it's gotten worst as the years go on. Imagin the innes looking in and instead of finding info pertaining to The Way, all they find is in-fighting here instead of the information that may lead them out. Some of you may say that if they searched for it they could find it. True but most people only look as far as the first page until they get comfortable with what they see, then they dig deeper. If all they see is a page of people arguing about who did what and how, the it only supports there dogma of peopleget possessed and fall apart after leaving The Way. Look at the first couple pages in The "About the Way" from that innie or family member or supportive friend and see if you can find some prevelant honest helpful info. There are snipets of info, but most is either redirecting and earlier point from another thread, amultiple page sage or more recently all the attacks and btching. If I was new, I'd walk away after the 1st 2 threads. That's why I posted a possible help in Pawtuckets thread. This place is becoming uncivilized. Again, just a different viewpoint.

I, agree with you on everything you've said but believe that the decaf forum should not be the exception. It intones a place for those that are too weak to get involved with the heat of the average conversation and bad-mouthing is acceptable behavior. It also indicates that since we have a decaf forum that the main forum people have the right to say whatever they choose regardless of the impact. I personally feel that it should have been swapped around and have an extra-caffinated forum instead, for that in itself would indicate without having to change a single rule that when thing get too heated they just take it or start it up in the other forum. It also states witout saying it that the main thrust is to be civil but doesnt hinder people from saying what they really want, only directs it to a more appropriate place and those that feel they want to get involved with it can do so without forcing the entire community to have to endure it. To leave it the way it is, is to indicate that the standard here is that most of the threads should be and have a right to be heated and uncivallized(slight exageration for emphasis) in the main About the Way forum and "if you don't like it or are a wimp" then go play in the decaf playpen. personally I think civillity should be the standard, hence why I think this whole problem is occuring. It was just a logistical mixup when setting up categories I believe it could resolve many of the issues currently present or atleast confine them to an appropriate arena because as much as there are many very valid points here that need to be addressed, it takes away from the focus of the website by bickering and acussing and venting these personallity issues in the main forum instead of keeping it on track. And it keeps it simple for Pawtucket because he doesnt have to think up new rules or redefine them and then have to think of every possible angle that it could be twisted to someones advantage. all he does is make a new subcategory in the "About They Way" and call it "Darkroast Blend". It's kinda like the Soap Opera but right insde the "About the Way" catergory easily accesible and topics can be started there instead of Paw having to move them because they have gotten out of hand. and get rid of the decaf category.

John, I think she was refering to this comment.

Sure, But keep in mind, the more you do something the better you get and after, oh, I dont know after 2,000, 3000, maybe 5,000 posts you become pretty knowledgable with the current ebb and flow of the forum here and kinda know how people are going to reply and how to reply to get the response wanted, which IMO makes that person a proffessional poster. And they can be lonely too :( But my point was the new person and the casual poster can not compete with the wordsmiths who have made a committment here(i'm sure each has there own reasons)by the numerous posts they contribute to the forum and the casual or new person can feel either attacked, feel like they are not wanted unless they agree with the long-timers, dont bother commenting or walk away because of... what's the word... the "charged atmosphere" here. If people cant feel comfortablle making comments, expressing opinion or asking questions then it can drive away the new and curious before they ever get involved And it happens from both sides of this issue. I'm a staunch supporter of the underdog - the unqualified, the uncommitted and the newperson side of this issue. Just because the victims(and defenders) and the applogist are loud and voiceful doesn't mean there aren't other sides being affected here, they are just more quiet(except me)

Hey Lucy, I'm soooo sorry you got slapped by his holiness, unfortunately since I know of him as well, it didnt come as a shock. I feel bad for you because I thought maybe, someone might have gotten through to him. I guess not, but dont take it personally, it wasn't you, he does it to alot of people. A few years ago he lost some fellowship coordinators ( for the same reasons you just explained, his inability to deal with people)and apparently HQ heard about it and instead of booting him, at the next placement offered him the opporunity to run Way Productions. He had "cough" bought a house with his brother's money(i think it was called, being given it technically) and refused to go to HQ and I think they moved him from full-time to part-time, took away his branch of 7-10 fellowships(minus those that left on his watch) and in turn gave him a branch of 2 fellowships, his and another that whorshipped the ground he walked on. If they still hold to the same rules as they did in the past, part-time Way Corp is non-paid, which would make sense as to why he made the CD. Part in rebellion of being demoted, part in relief of not being full time and feeling like he has the freedom to do his own thing again and partly because he probably needs to feed his family. So I wouldn't be suprised if he has turned more hostile, I was hoping that incident might have opened hs eyes a little, I guess not. JSN

Hey Rocky, Do you just enjoy arguing?(no answer needed) I made my suggestion to Pawtucket and I'll let him decide if it's useful or not.

I see you chose to reply to the latter and least part of my post instead of that which I was commenting back to you originally on. This a perfect example of the stupid nitpicking that goes on here, on both sides of that proverbial fence that fuels fires. Instead of responding back to the main topic of my reply to you on burdening Pawtucket and rules, you choose to rip apart my sideline "statement of emphasis" about The Way and rationalizing this disgusting situation that this site is falling into by saying it's human for it to happen. And as to that, you Do care about what Linder & Friends (The Way) DO or you wouldnt be on an (anti) ex-Way site 22yrs after leaving.

Agreed

You may be right, but since i dont fall into either category and have been watching this site deteriorate over the last couple years, I'm just making a suggestion. But I will say this much, if it isn't resolved, I'll just move on from here and not look back. this has turned into a place for the "in" crowd to hang out and very unappealing to the innie who is possibly looking for a reason to get out. I'll say that that was what was ejoyable about WayDle and the early days of GSC. Now it's turning into an internal battle of who got the biggest scar, who can yell loudest to get there point across and who has the right view and force everyone else too believe their way or Mark and Avoid them. I'm thinking the mindset is very similar to that place which everyone professes to have left. Swapping one set of dogmatic beliefs and harsh line thinking for another. We used to get new people daily and tons of them. Now, look at it. We can say THe WAY is smaller or they hedge people in more OR we can step back and do something very "un-Way like" and self examine the current flow here and see that this place has become unappealing to those seeking to leave. Hell after watching all the bitching going on here, a few rules and fake smiles seem better staying were they are than leaving and ending up like this. look at it from their perspective,all the dissention and fighting is exactly what The Way warns will happen if you leave. What a show we're giving. If something isn't done, then this place will be just another place for a bunch of old people to vent their displeasure on life and be just as dead as The Way and wont even realize it.