I Love Bagpipes

Abe, I too am finding my "first love" again...and my heart. It's nice to not be alone on this journey, as I know many folks were who left TWI awhile back. ((((Lori)))) I hope that as you are able to process (whatever that means for you) that the pain dissolves. I wonder if the lady of whom you speak is still in twi? Whether she is or isn't, I hope she has seen/sees the error with which she was manipulated and has changed. Look forward to meeting you in TX!!!!! (Cram that keyboard in your suitcase... )

BTW Dooj.....fantastic limerick!!!

Headcount.... Me is one. I will be there. I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!! I'm bringing willing hands to work for whatever ya'll need Ex10 and Dooj and Strangeone!! Rumrunner, if you make it......we will need to find that '74 Capri rental car!!!!!!!!!! Dmiller if you are a'coming and bringing strings, I'll throw in a few percussion instruments in my suitcase. :)

Happy Birthday Tonto, Mrs. T-bone!!! I am looking forward with great delight to meeting you and the Ranger in November. Hope you had a great day!!!!

My prob with these tests is that I usually have a hard time picking the "best" answer. That should be one of the questions...about having a hard time picking an answer. I'm the same as Safari Vista. Can you imagine hearing/playing bagpipes on a safari? Well, maybe a safari in Scotland.

Dittos Safari.

Dittos to the comments. I think the author aptly describes the confusion that folks feel in these type scenarios. It helps me in the process of identifying the snare in which I was caught in twi. Gosh Twinky....I have thought that about myself. :blink: Probably if I would have gotten a one-on-one face melting session, I would have literally melted on the spot. :( Doglover....I like your musings...all the time....written and spoken. I wondered about why I wrote REALITY in all caps. I mean, it seems I would know it is a reality without having to read it (over and over) somewhere. Yet, sometimes I wonder if I am making stuff up. This has happened to me on quite a few occasions (especially in the leaving TWI process) and I will ask the person with whom I am involved, "Am I making this up?" Ex10 pointed out that perhaps one reason I (and others) wonder that is because (in our culture) we are so busy getting to the next thing, that we don't take time to process. We move to damn fast with too much info/stuff to process. Anyway, it's nice to know I'm not making it all up. :)

That's beautiful Roy. I have thought much on this subject the past months. I am beginning to understand that Jesus Christ's pain, emotional and physical, was beyond anything I can comprehend. Therefore He understands to the uttermost every emotional pain I suffer...and He is there to nurture and succor. I've "known" that for years...but I think I am beginning to understand it; I'm growing in love with my Lord and Saviour as a real person and not a mythical concept. It is a comfort to my soul. Thank you Roy.

Happy Birthday Coolchef!!!!!!!! Hope it was filled with treats! :)

Warren, it's not been over 10 years for me...not even a year yet. Folks are still leaving TWI...and it is still hard to leave, even if TWI is only offering a flat tortilla shell. It would be nice to just flip a switch and make the pain go away. I guess God didn't make us like that....gave us each other to hold hands, encourage, laugh, cry, talk, "whine", whatever..... :) I'm sure glad folks who have been gone 10 years (and more) were/are here at GSC to hold my hand....and that they have done so very admirably and with compassion .

I read the following this morning, and was.....hmmm....sobered. It brought to mind LCM's rantings about people being warts or pimples or _________ as their part of the body of Christ. I ws never marked and avoided nor did I ever endure one of LCM's rantings face to face. (Those of you who did are stronger than I.) Yet, I took personally the public rantings and would think of myself as that wart or pimple or _________. The following sobered me (I think) because it drove home the REALITY of what folks endured and the damage it can evoke; the damage is real. It can be repaired and that takes time, plus other stuff. The damage/influence not only impacts the victim, but also the "bystanders." Excerpt (The italics are mine. The bold blue is what reverberates strongly with me.) "..........Over the next hour I was subjected to taunt after taunt. ........After that hour with him, having sustained countless piercing jabs of disdain and egged on by his mockery, I felt caught in a vortex of self-doubt, exhausted at swimming against the undertow........... I also felt enraged--not merely angry, but incensed to the degree that I wanted to hurt someone or something. The combination of self-doubt, exhaustion, and fury fulfilled what he said about me and seduced me to turn my back on what I knew to be true. Compromise seemed better than the prospect of facing his cold, venomous mockery. The effect of his contempt was to make me feel weak and deluded. Contempt...intimidates and controls....intensifying our flight or fight exponentially. In provoking us to retaliate with contempt or kill desire with numbing shame, it violates and destroys. One reason for the extraordinary power of contempt is that it isolates us as unlovable.... ...Contempt is a poison [that] mocks our desirability: "No one wants you. ....You have no place with us. So just leave or bow down and serve us." Contempt isolates its victims by branding them unworthy of love.......Mockery draws a line in the sand, separating its victim fromthe crowd. On the other side of the line is the in-group, laughing (leader's ring); near them is the silent crowd (seduced followers) that will not risk stepping across the line to stand with the victim in his isolation. Part of the power of contempt is that it reverberates in the heart long after the words are spoken. Beyond the scornful words, the contemptuous question echoes, "Why can't I get the thoughts out of my mind?" ....."What is wrong with me that an innocuous remark can spiral me into the throes of cracking like a broken pot?" This is the unholy leverage of contempt: it renders desire foolish and painful, leaving the soul susceptible to the influence and control of others. Contempt then offers the option, "Join us or die. Be like us or face even greater mockery." The weakened, isolated, and exhausted heart is apt to give in to the force of contempt and join the ranks of the arrogant." End excerpt (from The Cry of the Soul). This excerpt summons much emotion and thought within me, and at the same time clarifies the seduction. I was a perpetrator and a victim (makes my stomach turn). :( I was part far too long of the "silent crowd" mentioned above. Seduction is a reality. Gosh......I'm so thankful that forgiveness, healing, and the open arms of God and His people are also a reality. :) And I'm thankful for GSC and all the connections God has brought to me through this place.

#6: muskrats jelly beans detergent #7: muscle-bound sloppy rebounding

#5 ocean moose small large

#4 tall horse hooked yellow

#3: beautiful tomato intrinsic machine dance

:) Nah, it doesn't belong in P & T. It belongs right here in "Open"......an open heart filled with gratitude. Thanks for sharing this RR.

Glad for you Krys!!! Funny, Out There, Notta, WD, and Oenophile...... BTW Oenophile......I care............ ......and last I checked, I'm a woman.

47 Someone once asked me, "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?" My answer, "It really depends on what day I ask myself that." I like the days I feel 25. (Yes, I actually have those days!!!)

Happy Birthday Sudo. You and I haven't "met", but I have gotten to know your wonderful wife chatting a little. I hope your day was grand. How sweet Suda! Groucho and dmiller ...

Thanks for sharing Lori and it was nice to briefly meet you in chat. :) I left TWI almost a year ago after 28 years and GSC has been wonderful for me. Posting was scarey for me (and sometimes still is), but that is one reason I do it. I'm endeavoring to learn to express MY opinions and to believe again that God works in me...and to learn to think "outloud" again. Plus I've had some heartfelt and grand reunions and made new friends as well. It just dawned on me...we might know each other. Did you ever live in Cleveland? PM me if you did. :)

Thanks Nato for sharing. Congratulations on finding your way out and finding your wife. :) I remember well that decision by LCM...to can the WOW program. I remember thinking, "What about all those people that rearranged their lives to go WOW. Well, I guess Craig got revelation and everyone will be taken care of." Or something like that. (barf) I read in My Story that you know Bek. How wonderful to find each other again! I am recently out of TWI (almost 1 year ago), and it seems I would know more about WD, but I never really inquired about the program itself. A few years ago (2002-03) one person went WD from around here. He/she stayed at his/her assignment for the remainder of the year and then came back here. This person definitely came back changed with more self righteousness, legalism, and judgementalism. Granted, that was part of this person's personality when he/she went out. The program apparently fed it. The first fellowship I attended in this person's home when he/she got back was....hmm...uncomfortable. Chairs were lined up in rows (for 8 - 10 people!). I walked in, saw the room arrangement, felt myself tighten up, and my heart sank. I led the meeting that night and felt this person's and another WD vet's (that came back with this person) eyes scutinizing every move I made. I thought it was just ME and my tainted misgivings . At least I spoke up about the arrangement of the chairs and it was taken heed to. Interestingly one other person had called the BC about the same thing. Got me to thinking, "Oh, it's not just me." I do know from this WD's sharings, that the WD's are less confrontational (of course) than the WD I wave. Thus I'm wondering if maybe the paperwork/record keeping/policing has lightened up in comparison to the link I posted in post #1. Thanks again. :)

Belle what a BEAUTIFUL picture.....I think of that song, "On the wings of a snow white dove....." HAPPY BIRTHDAY WHITEDOVE! Thanks for all your support and love.....and for the music!! Blessings

I had that same thought T-bone...and could almost hear the words on a STS recording. Uuugh.....

Thanks Abe for the info...and welcome to GSC. You may not know the answer to this: Were the weekly reports (as outlined on the link) due MONTHLY instead of weekly? I realize only the coordinators may have filled these out. I don't know why I am so curious, just am. I wonder how much HQ relaxed the standard after LCM was booted. After your 6 months as WD were you supposed to then work 4 to 6 more months at HQ? I know at least one year since 2002 the commitment for any WD's at HQ was a year (or maybe it was just 10 months) working at HQ and the first 6 of those serving as a WD. You don't have to answer this if you don't want to: why did they boot you? Thanks again Abe. :)

The following link is from 2000 and I feel certain that this format has changed. I am curious if Way Disciples still have to submit a form of this detail and, if so, how often they have to submit it. Does anyone know? Thanks. http://excultworld.com/misc%20stuff/way%20...e%20program.pdf The "Weekly Report" form is on pp. 6 through 9. (Shivers....and I thought the hfc's reports (from the latter 90's) were intrusive!!)