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Christmas for an EX JW


Noni1974
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Hi everyone it's been a long time since I posted.As I've posted before that I am an EX JW and I wasn't raised to celebrate Christmas.

Since I left the JW's it's brought great joy to my life to celebrate the holidays.However I don't really have any traditions to fall back on.No one in my family celebrates so I end up buying myself presents and wrapping them up myself.I also end up opening them alone.Very sad I know.

This year will be a little different because I'm going to a friends house the Saturday after Christmas to celebrate.I'm bringing presents for the host and her daughter.

I was wondering if you could share a Christmas tradition your family enjoys since I don't have any myself.I'm really curious to see if I do it right or not.

I have a really pretty tree all decorated.I have gifts I send out to some of my EX JW friends.I do secret santa on an EX JW board I belong to.I did a card exchange this year and got tons of cards.

Every year I try to make it special for myself.So any good ideas would be helpful.

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Noni

Christmas here is a celebration- recognizing Christ Birth and the purpose of why he was born.

The traditions are of men and what they choose/or not choose to remember.

So with that in mind, I think trying to get it right should not be the issue.

Opening presents by yourself, for yourself is a little out there.

But understanding the traditions made will help you to feel comfortable with those around you as they celebrate.

Remember it is your choice to assimilate this holiday, your not wrong if you don't.

Pick another holiday- perhaps Thanksgiving- and make it your own......What am I thankful for....

And what ever you do, enjoy yourself, and the others around you.

And last but not least laugh! :lol:

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Hi Noni!

Long time no see but its good to see that you are doing well. As far as Christmas traditions, you can make them up as your family grows. You are not married and have no children, right? Then it might be harder but if you're planning on family it becomes a lot easier.

Lots of families have a "little something" on Christmas Eve like opening just one present or sitting by the tree with all the other lights off drinking egg nog. Some put the children to bed early because Santa is coming and he won't stop if the children are awake. Lots of churches have Christmas Eve midnight services so that rules out going to bed early.

Its just all up to what YOU would like to be in your Christmas traditions, Noni. Don't worry about it too much because this is something where there is no right or wrong... You can't mess it up. I have to admit I LOVE this time of year myself. Merry Christmas, girl!

sudo

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Hi, NONI

Christmas for me has always been a time to gather the whole family in one place.

A time to comfort those who are experiencing their first Holiday season after the loss of a loved one.

A time to rejoice in the arrival of new additions to the family, both by birth and marriage.

A time to see the twinkle in the little ones eyes as they tear open the wrapping on the gift they've been obsessing over.

A time to reflect back on Christmases past, both internally and silently as well as conversationally.

A time to reflect on how each of us has grown and changed (and remained the same) since the Christmas previous.

And last but not least, a time to share in great food and drink.

:wave:

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Noni, I don't think there is a 'right or wrong' way to celebrate a holiday. Do what YOU want to do and enjoy the time with whomever you choose.

In our family, there is just one child still at home, so it's just she and I. We do the gift thing whenever she gets up and decides she wants to do so. One year was 4 am, another year was 11 am. We don't do a tree unless she wants one.

The general theme is if the kid wants to do something, it gets done, otherwise not so much and it works for our family.

We have a friend who is a Jehova Witness believer and he shares a drink with me two days before our Christmas and we exchange simple meaningful gifts. That way he can "celebrate" yet not break anything he might be uncomfortable with.

As has been said, start with something you can manage to feel great about and next time do that or something else, as you are comfy with it.

Doesn't have to be about a tree and gifts and ho ho ho, but what make YOU happy!!

Merry Christmas to you.

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I have volunteered to many things over the years.

Feeding people at the shelters,

Singing at Nursing Homes

those I have done more than once,

I think about the animal shelters too

There are so many needy places...

check your paper or local church groups or even Hospitals or Senior centers

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Great question Noni,

Both my parents past away last year, and this Christmas I especially miss them.

Some of the greatest times I had with my mom was when we'd make Christmas cookies together, before Christmas. It was a tradition I carried on even when I was single and still carry on that tradition today, whether I make cookies just for the family or to give out at work or as gifts.

I now am the proud owner of all of her bakeware, which is something that I hold near and dear to my heart, it has tremendous sentimental value for me.

We also make a point to cook a special big breakfast on Christmas morning with fancy sweet breads, and sweet rolls, omelettes or baked egg creations with all the trimmings.

Decorating the tree, going to a tree farm to pick out a special tree, hanging outside lights, making special ornaments and wreathes are also some great traditions.

Make your own traditions, every family is different, I used to know someone who was German who made homemade noodles every year for xmas, traditions are individual, just have fun with it.   :who_me:

Edited by but now I see
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I see on TV family's making Christmas cookies together.I like to bake but I'm not real artsy so the decorating of the cookies wouldn't be great.I would love to try to do it anyway.

I don't know what kind of cookies they are making.How do you wrap them to give away??Does the icing have to dry before you wrap them up??I want them to look nice.

A lot of EX JW's don't know how to do Christmas.I put my tree up and wrap the gifts I bought for myself and my friends under my tree.

I have friends from all over the world I sent cards to and they sent cards to me.I don't know how to display them.I keep the in a pile on my printer.How do you all display your cards??I've gotten cards from England and Canada and as far away as Trinidad.

I know I sound crazy for buying and wrapping gifts for myself.I have this issue with feeling like I'm forgotten about.I buy my own gifts and wrap them because I feel really left out when it comes to Christmas and it's my way of joining in on all the fun I've missed out on because of all my years of being born and raised a JW.At least if I buy myself something I have a present to open on Christmas morning.

How do you all feel about telling people what to buy you??I've had people ask me and for me it really is the thought that counts not the actual present it's self.I feel uncomfortable telling people what to buy for me.

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Hey, Noni!

So glad you're doing well. :)

Like everyone says, we make our own traditions, so make yours whatever makes you feel special.

I live alone and put up a tree and decorate every year. I even have some homemade decorations and a couple of "store bought" decorations from my very first Christmas out "on my own". It's my own private little tradition decorating the tree and reflecting on what my life was like that very first year when I had no money for decorations, much less presents. Even the tree that year was given to me and propped up in the corner of my tiny apartment because I did not have a tree stand, nor the money to buy one.

If you're not into baking cookies, don't sweat it. Find something you do like to do. At the office party every year, one guy dresses up as Santa and gives cheap gag gifts. :biglaugh: It is probably one of the most anticipated events of the party. Last year he was Santa in a thong, this year he was "Wendy Claus" combining the Wendy's pig tail wig with a "normal" Santa outfit.

Regarding gifts.... When non-family members or the youngsters with not much money ask - I just tell them I'd really like a homemade CD of their favorite songs. Pretty much everyone likes music and it's a great way for them to share a little bit of themselves with me. I also like candles and they can be found pretty cheap and easy.

There are so many people on my mother's side of the family that we no longer exchange gifts. Everyone buys a Christmas ornament and we play "Dirty Santa" with the ornaments. It's always fun and some of the ornaments are incredible.

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Noni lots of good ideas here I'll add one more to the mix. Although it may be too late for this year. Volunteer at your local shelter to help with The Christmas with the animals or take them some gifts. You'll make their day, but I'll warn you ahead of time it may bring you to tears the thankfulness they express for the simple things in life like a ball to play with.

Here is the link to ours this year.

Here

Christmas at the Shelter

"Tis the night before Christmas and all through the town,

Every shelter is full - we are lost but not found,

Our numbers are hung on our kennels so bare,

We hope every minute that someone will care,

They'll come to adopt us and give us the call,

"Come here, Max and Sparkie - come fetch your new ball!!"

But now we sit here and think of the days...

We were treated so fondly - we had cute, baby ways,

Once we were little, then we grew and we grew -

Now we're no longer young and we're no longer new.

So out the back door we were thrown like the trash,

They reacted so quickly - why were they so rash?

We "jump on the children:, "don't come when they call",

We "bark when they leave us", climb over the wall,

We should have been neutered, we should have been spayed,

Now we suffer the consequence of the errors THEY made.

If only they'd trained us, if only we knew...

We'd have done what they asked us and worshiped them, too.

We were left in the backyard, or worse - let to roam -

Now we're tired and lonely and out of a home.

They dropped us off here and they kissed us good-bye...

"Maybe someone else will give us a try."

So now here we are, all confused and alone...

In a shelter with others who long for a home.

The kind workers come through with a meal and a pat,

With so many to care for, they can't stay to chat,

They move to the next kennel, giving each of us cheer...

We know that they wonder how long we'll be here.

We lay down to sleep and sweet dreams fill our heads...

Of a home filled with love and our own cozy bed.

Then we wake to see sad eyes, brimming with tears -

Our friends filled with emptiness, worry and fear.

If you can't adopt us and there's no room at the Inn -

Could you help with the bills and fill our food bin?

We count on your kindness each day of the year -

Can you give more than hope to everyone here?

Please make a donation to pay for the heat...

And help us get us something special to eat.

The shelter that cares for us wants us to live,

And more of us will, if more people will give.

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Hi Noni-

Nothing wrong with traditions that help you. I guess a good tradition would be something you enjoy doing on a regualar basis.

I like the idea of helping those in need.

I do treat myself and buy myself a little gift as well as for family and friends. (Nothing wrong with giving suggestions to those who want to buy for you.) Then you leave it up to them to choose. Surprise is nice.

We usually get together with friends and family to have lots of food, drink and fun.

We get the instruments out and sing either traditional or folk tunes

A little time in prayer to God in thanks doesn't hurt.

Some decorations help with the joy. (We decorate for parties don't we?)

Where we live skating, snowmobiling, snowshoeing, playing games are all part of the fun.

There are many things to be thankful for.

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Noni lots of good ideas here I'll add one more to the mix. Although it may be too late for this year. Volunteer at your local shelter to help with The Christmas with the animals or take them some gifts. You'll make their day, but I'll warn you ahead of time it may bring you to tears the thankfulness they express for the simple things in life like a ball to play with.

Here is the link to ours this year.

Here

Christmas at the Shelter

"Tis the night before Christmas and all through the town,

Every shelter is full - we are lost but not found,

Our numbers are hung on our kennels so bare,

We hope every minute that someone will care,

They'll come to adopt us and give us the call,

"Come here, Max and Sparkie - come fetch your new ball!!"

But now we sit here and think of the days...

We were treated so fondly - we had cute, baby ways,

Once we were little, then we grew and we grew -

Now we're no longer young and we're no longer new.

So out the back door we were thrown like the trash,

They reacted so quickly - why were they so rash?

We "jump on the children:, "don't come when they call",

We "bark when they leave us", climb over the wall,

We should have been neutered, we should have been spayed,

Now we suffer the consequence of the errors THEY made.

If only they'd trained us, if only we knew...

We'd have done what they asked us and worshiped them, too.

We were left in the backyard, or worse - let to roam -

Now we're tired and lonely and out of a home.

They dropped us off here and they kissed us good-bye...

"Maybe someone else will give us a try."

So now here we are, all confused and alone...

In a shelter with others who long for a home.

The kind workers come through with a meal and a pat,

With so many to care for, they can't stay to chat,

They move to the next kennel, giving each of us cheer...

We know that they wonder how long we'll be here.

We lay down to sleep and sweet dreams fill our heads...

Of a home filled with love and our own cozy bed.

Then we wake to see sad eyes, brimming with tears -

Our friends filled with emptiness, worry and fear.

If you can't adopt us and there's no room at the Inn -

Could you help with the bills and fill our food bin?

We count on your kindness each day of the year -

Can you give more than hope to everyone here?

Please make a donation to pay for the heat...

And help us get us something special to eat.

The shelter that cares for us wants us to live,

And more of us will, if more people will give.

I adopted a kitten a month or so ago.I found him on the streets.He was so little and cold and sweet.He wakes me up every night with kisses.

11-24-07_1627.jpg

Edited by Noni1974
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My family has goodie traditions--making my mom's fudge, making Christmas Cut out cookies, some with egg dye paint and white sugar, some with sprinkles and some with frosting and sprinkles. We also like to make snickerdoodles and molasses krinkles, and all are fun to share with co-workers etc.

My mom made stained glass cinnamon candy, but I've never been that brave!

My parents are gone now, but my sis and I still do the treats.

Decorating is part of the fun, though I don't do what my parents did(tinsel, one strand at a time!)

For me it is a time to celebrate your loved ones being together, and remembering those who have passed on.

My family always had Christmas dinner on a pink brocade tablecloth, with all the crystal and wine goblets. Neither my sister nor I are as formal as our parents were, but we do love that pink tablecloth.

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Noni,

Any cookie can be a Christmas Cookie, and they don't have to be decorated.  If you give them away, most people pack them into a metal tin or in a basket or even a small white box.  Containers are often sold in drug stores.  Whatever you do, make sure you enjoy it, and if cookie baking is not your thing, then make your own traditions.  Every family and culture around the globe have their own traditions, do what suits you.

Happy Holidays!

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Hi Noni

I can understand trying to make up for lost time and memories after coming out of a group like the JW's or the one here I was associated with. Tasting life and freedom for the first time, second time or the upteenth time is wonderful, exciting and thrilling. I wish you all the best as you move forward in finding your liberties and life as it should be.

Of course not everyone who celebrates the holiday of Christmas is Christian or acknowledges or believes that this is the time Jesus was born. It is such a multi fauceted holiday that anyone can celebrate and enjoy, coming at the time when the sun appears longer every day.

Traditions depend on what is important to you. What do you like to do? I am sure that if you marry and have children, you will add more tradtions to your celebrations.

When I was growing up, we were kinda poor so our celebrations stayed simple. My father was granted a turkey from his job every Thanksgiving and Christmas so we had that for our holiday dinners and it was wonderful. My parents used to wait to the last minute on Christmas Eve to buy one of the cheapest trees and would come home with a Charlie Brown type of tree and I have the pics to prove it ;) They would put it up after us kids went to bed and told us that Santa and his elves did it and we all would get about one toy as a gift and then underwear or socks from our grandparents (oh joy). Before my parents bought the tree and sent us to bed, they would first take us out in the car and we would drive around looking at the Christmas lights/decorations on everyone's house.

With my family, I put up the decorations the weekend after Thanksgiving. I love the holiday so I can't wait to get started. My windows are decored in red bows and red beads, my doorways in the living and dinning room are decorated with green garland and white lights as is the stair way and we hang the stockings from that. Of course there is my tree and we use an artificial one due to allergies to the pine trees. We plan our Christmas Eve buffet together which is open house to my children's friends and we plan our Christmas dinner together which is also open to friends.

Christmas Eve we also get in our car and drive around looking at lights and come home and eat. We have incorporated the movie, "Polar Express,' into our celebrations.

When I was single, I always had some type of small tree even if that meant I decorated my ficus tree and I would exchange presents with friends. I would get invited out to dinner and you can always try having a dinner party or something in the future with friends who may not have a place to go.

Christmas eve services are beautiful and you don't have to agree or believe as others do there to enjoy it. There are many things you can do to enjoy the holidays.

I wish you a very Merry Christmas!

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Noni,

I noticed you posted that you received a lot of xmas cards from friends all over the world, and you asked for ideas on how to display them. I have hung them with tape on a ribbon or cord hanging down from the mantle on the fireplace, I've actually taped them to the inside of the front door, I also display them on the mantle or the table I have the family photos on. Getting some women's magazines like martha stewart living or good housekeeping etc., at the check out counter at the grocery store help with ideas.

You know there's something to be thankful for in not really having the Christmas thing in your past, the xmas season is a high month for fatal heart attacks which is partially due to stress, so be glad you don't have all that stress and bad habits in your background!

Whatever you do, enjoy yourself!

Edited by but now I see
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Why don't you just celebrate the Nativity of Jesus Christ and that's that.

After all, that's what Christmas is about.

I'm not what you would call a Christan.I don't celebrate for the religious aspect of the holiday.I celebrate for the feeling of giving and love of the season.

Thanks for the ideas. :D

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