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Your Calling....How it became distorted......


newlife
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I believe that I truly had a genuine call on my life since I was a child. I always wanted to be a pastor and/or missionary. Going to college, I just really got off track of what my plan was and was in search of getting my life back on track with God when the ministry appeared on the scene. What happened to that childhood vision and dream I believe even got more distorted after entering the ministry. I suddenly looked at the "ladder of advancement".........Take foundational, intermediate, advanced, all the other classes, go WOW, Go into the Corps and then maybe become clergy, finally fulfilling the call on my life. Anything short of that would announce failure, condemnation to myself for not making it. The path became very distorted into a "works" and achieving what requirements Man had placed on it. I was deceived into thinking This was God, this was "it"--the Call on my life-- I had to meet the "criteria" so to speak. So when I left the ministry, My perception of the call on my life was distorted and not geniune. In fact, I thought NOW I had a "different" call on my life which I had picked up in the ministry. Would I ever fulfill it now? I began to question myself, and question God Big time. I even got to the point of thinking, well, I must of been wrong about it.....maybe I just "thought" I had a call on my life. But every time when I went back to my childhood and my desires at that time I would be once again convinced that calling had been real. Which brought me to realize I had a counterfeit call in the ministry that I thought was real, but the one I had in my childhood was really the real one. But, it couldn't look like what I thought it looked like in the ministry.

Well, Have you had this experience? Or similiar experiences? What did you do? How have you realized the geniune call vs. the counterfeit???

It doesn't take very long to get stuff all mixed up, but it takes a long time to get it all sorted out.

Newlife

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Well, I don`t know if I was *called* to do anything.

It seems like IF I was called, that God would have been ready with a legitimate way to answer.

I feel like twi was nothing more than a cleverly disguised snare. The lure/bait that lead us into the snare was scripture, the idea of being called to be in the spiritual battle.

I had those same yearnings you describe as a child.

Where the hell was God if we were called? I can`t fathom him calling us to support a ministry that destroyed so many.

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IMO The "Call" in TWI was incredibly narrow and defined only on their terms.

No matter who you were, your life circumstances, your strengths or your dreams when they first met you were funneled in to the PFAL class because you were "called' to take that class and start your ascent up their ladder.

Indidviduals were of little importance as long as the machinery kept running. Some people adopted TWI's call as their own, others (and I think most) thwarted their own inner voice to follow the much more discernable and easy route laid out before them. They werent really in the business of helping people find their own calling so much as dictating to them what hey wanted and needed them to do and telling them that was their calling...'to serve the ministry".

I disagree--- people can be 'called' to all sorts of things and display great giftedness doing whatever it is they do. They dont need a big fancy title or anything even that overtly christian to make a deep and positive impact on those in their sphere.

I dont really care what it is they dont HAVE to be missionaries or pastors or bible thumpers (although they could be). Ive met nurses, teachers, mothers, artists, musicians..... all sorts of people ---who in their opinion were called to what they do and it definitely shows in how they do it.

There is room for a lot of people to do alot of things in this world, alot of important things.

I never appreciated all that much being told who I had to be in TWI, its hard enough to figure out without being harangued about it all the time..

Yea it took awhile to sort it all out, the further TWI got from my mind the easier it bacame to hear my own thoughts.

Im called to be me.

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The way you describe it mstar, reminds me of a job I once had.

The business sold and the new owners implemented new policies.

We were given a three page script to memorize. Anyone who came through the store doors to look at merchandise we were required to start asking questions to hook in the customer.

The questions were designed to have only one answer...people rarely were able to leave without hundreds of dollars of items that we had convinced them they couldn`t live without. I just couldn`t do it.

Twi made us believe that they had a product that we couldn`t live without. They created a need...and as we followed their carefully scripted path, we became dependent on them and their product. All other brands were dismissed as substandard.

I think that they made us believe that we had a calling. They preyed upon our desire to be a force for good.

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hmm...well I wanted to be a teacher and coach filed hockey. But after my best friend died I made a vow with God

that I would live my life if he showed me the answers or end it(I was just a real young kid and just devasted by my

friends death.

I would have been in that car wreck with her had I not worked that night(talking high school here)drinking and

getting high and I felt guilty and all the normal feeling an adolesent has when things happen like this.

So,then I wanted to become a Police Officer and went to college to study Law Enforcement because I had awhile

until I was 21(to apply for the job)

In a move from Delaware to OKC is where I met The Way International. Had I just took the class and left at that

moment I may have finished college and gone on with my plan,but that didn't happen..I was hook line and sinker

sold out to "the ministry" with (i thought at the time) a higher calling.

The whole Ephesians 1 chapter!

What a detour!!!! A headache and a nightmare,...at 21 I joined the Army and soon after left TWI,and got on with

me life.

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I believe my calling to the Body of Christ through twi was the genuine just as someone else involved in any other church group would consider their calling to the Body of Christ the genuine. Not of works, but by God's own purpose and grace.

2Ti 1:9 Who hath saved us, and called [us] with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,

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They created a need...and as we followed their carefully scripted path, we became dependent on them and their product. All other brands were dismissed as substandard.

Not only that but WE were dismissed as substandard. Only by readiing the script (puttiing on some new different man) were we deemed to be of any inherent value. the moment that lapsed we were 'tripped out' or any number of phrases that they used to guilt people back on to the marketing plan and forget about their own lives.

IMO its only when people forget the script that they'll be able to find themselves and their direction

I know my work brings me to churches all around the country. Its no big deal but I like it and the folks there always seem to like it.

A 'calling'? I dont know --sometimes it seems that way though

I know that TWI would be horrified if they knew what I did (I was told more than a few times I had to drop it).

I really dont care, my work will very likely be around long after TWI is long gone and i enjoy doing it.

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Sorry, I didn't mean to indicate a narrowness in the difinition of "calling".....I was simply telling you My story.....Of course "Calling" can refer to many functions and many positions.......all equally important to the body of Christ. I was just sharing my story that was specific to my life.......and asking you to share yours....

That's all.

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IMO its only when people forget the script that they'll be able to find themselves and their direction

Mstar, I think this is brilliant and right on.

In trying to hold on to that script, trying endlessly different variations to make it work...believing as we were taught that it is the only thing worthey of consideration. I think we are truly limited to that small dark little box that twi placed us in.

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IMO The "Call" in TWI was incredibly narrow and defined only on their terms.

No matter who you were, your life circumstances, your strengths or your dreams when they first met you were funneled in to the PFAL class because you were "called' to take that class and start your ascent up their ladder.

Indidviduals were of little importance as long as the machinery kept running. Some people adopted TWI's call as their own, others (and I think most) thwarted their own inner voice to follow the much more discernable and easy route laid out before them. They werent really in the business of helping people find their own calling so much as dictating to them what hey wanted and needed them to do and telling them that was their calling...'to serve the ministry".

I disagree--- people can be 'called' to all sorts of things and display great giftedness doing whatever it is they do. They dont need a big fancy title or anything even that overtly christian to make a deep and positive impact on those in their sphere.

I dont really care what it is they dont HAVE to be missionaries or pastors or bible thumpers (although they could be). Ive met nurses, teachers, mothers, artists, musicians..... all sorts of people ---who in their opinion were called to what they do and it definitely shows in how they do it.

There is room for a lot of people to do alot of things in this world, alot of important things.

I never appreciated all that much being told who I had to be in TWI, its hard enough to figure out without being harangued about it all the time..

Yea it took awhile to sort it all out, the further TWI got from my mind the easier it bacame to hear my own thoughts.

Im called to be me.

:eusa_clap: A very incisive post…..and what you've expressed is pretty much the way I feel about this topic too. Thanks, Mstar!

Just a few random thoughts to add to this thread:

In regards to this topic and my TWI experience, I've sorta adopted a slogan from the Demotivators website:

Mistakes: It Could Be That The Purpose Of Your Life Is Only To Serve As A Warning To Others

http://www.demotivators.com/mis24x30prin.html

That more or less sums up my philosophy when posting on Grease Spot. And though I believe that is an apt description of how I feel about that experience – there's more to me than that.

After I escaped TWI, I quit trying to figure out "my calling in life" and just got into enjoying life. That took awhile and really boiled down to rediscovering the authentic self. Not that I'm there yet – or ever will be – maybe it's a combination of figuring out what was genuinely me before TWI, and recognizing my strengths & weaknesses during TWI…it's all about sorting out my experiences – both then and now, long after TWI – reflecting on what my responses were and what that tells me about myself.

It's about finding your inner demon. [ok – I just threw that one in to pi$$ off my first Twig Coordinator :biglaugh: ].

I've never felt like I had a calling in life. But if we're talking about what gives one a sense of fulfillment I can think of a few simple roles that make me feel happy: being a good friend to my lifelong companion - I'm still crazy about Tonto, being a good dad, being a competent technician, and being creative [in several media – music, photography, and writing]. Not saying I'm always good at being all that…heck, a lot of times I suck at more than one role – who knows, maybe someday I'll master chewing gum & walking - but what the he11 – I enjoy doing all those things and just feel a lot better when I'm giving it my best shot.

Edited by T-Bone
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Sorry, I didn't mean to indicate a narrowness in the difinition of "calling"....

No no I wasnt implying you said that.. I was saying that was TWI's take on the thing, that THEIR view was very narrow.

Wierwille went so far in one class as to say that being a piano player was NOT a gift.

PFFFFFT (thats a raspberry) the world would be a poorer place without Chopin, Mozart, Beethovan or others who through music were able to bring comfort, inspiration, and expanded vision---and it doesnt have to be Chopin-- a streetcorner fiddler could be completely filling his calling for all I know

Thats just in music, in my view people can apply 'their gifts' in near any field of life.

Maybe they will be a missionary, a mystic, an author, maybe they will be a mother, an auto mechanic ---I dont know thats up to them and where they specifically are guided

But I am convinced its not necessary to become a Wierwille clone spending your life running classes as

the only way to heed your call.

I read a good book a few years back by Thomas Merton on the subject of 'call'

which would be worth reading

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OH, ok......thanks for clarifying that.

And Yes, I do remember that Musical talent was stated as not being a Gift.....which really stifled my playing music...in fact I was told to put down the music completely, because the Word had to come first. Three years I didn't play until a limb leader ask me to play for a state get together and I told him I couldn't and when I told him why, he said, well, I think you can play now.

The emphasis placed on Gift ministries was way out of line. Not that they are important but it made everyone or at least the people I knew to obsess over it.....Did they have one.....etc etc.

It was really screwed up I thought.

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We all know the bit in Ephesians about there being apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers set within the body for the edification of the believers.

But what about this bit:

1 Cor 12:27.Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

28.And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments, diversities of tongues.

29.Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles?

30.Have all the gifts of healing? do all speak with tongues? do all interpret ?

Where did the evangelists and pastors disappear to? Then we get into all these other things, some of which we were taught are manifestations of the spirit.

What are the "helps"? The "governments"?

Some people who attend the church I go to say they have the "gift of administration" which they use to serve in various rather "boring" church capacities - treasurer, organizer, secretaries, etc. They're blessed.

Okay that bit was slightly off topic, but someone has raised something about it earlier.

When I was a kid, aged in single digits, I was going to be a missionary and go to Africa and tell the poor people there about how good God was and what Jesus had done for them.

God has such a sense of humor. It was a Nigerian who witnessed to me - in very nearly my home town!

I never went out as a missionary to Africa but I did move to another country and there held out the Word, also going WoW there. I went into the Corps from there and that did derail a lot of things I'd hoped to do. Corps principle 5 - "Go forth as leaders and workers in areas of concern, interest and need" says it nicely and at the time I thought that would be areas of concern, interest and need such as - social work; being a doctor, a dentist; working in a hospital; working with underprivileged people; working in business / commerce and bringing a dose of Christian ethics to everyday life... God had opened some astonishing doors for me to train in my chosen professional area and I believe it was a Godly choice.

Now that got seriously derailed when it became clear that it was areas of concern etc to TWI, and when I sought to return just on a part-time basis to my chosen profession, I got such a load of **** and condemnation heaped on me for despising the riches of my calling as Way Corps and they had cast their riches before swine and I was a dog returning to my vomit...

God doesn't want us tied into something constraining. He wants us free to move and influence all levels of society, all types of people, salting anywhere and everywhere. He can work with and through anyone who has a humble heart.

So yes. Seriously derailed.

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Well Ex.......I think it is sad......sad to read what God given desires that people had before getting involved with the ministry and how that all got distorted and steered in a whole other direction. Here's the point That I should of made with the original post......(especially for the ones still in.....and hoping they might read this). That whatever was a God given desire before involvement will probably also be the God given desire after involvement.

BUT, here's my experience since leaving. The call hasn't changed for my life, but what it "looks' like has. I'm not gonna have a bonfide diploma from a seminary----But guess what? I do function in the way I think I should....pastoring and healing hearts of people. I'll never be a missionary to Africa......But I am a volunteer to an inner city homeless and low poverty center, which has changed my life. SO, basically, I am doing what God has called me to do.....it just looks alittle different. That's the hope for people. God didn't change the call on my life or on others....but it may look a little different than you thought it would look. This took a lot of time to get rid of what I had been taught and get back to where God wanted me to be in the first place.

And for that......I am soooo grateful that He is faithful, and He never changes and He is ever present to guide and direct our lives.

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Bravo Newlife :eusa_clap:

Since God wants us to reach all people, then he must want us at all places in society.

JC hung about in the pubs and clubs of his day.

He mixed with the down-and-outs. Dregs of society. Prostitutes and alcoholics. Sick people

He also mixed with the professional classes: tax gatherers, small businessmen (first disciples).

JC fed the hungry (okay, so the people forgot the picnic - but they were still hungry)

It's not "God in a box" regarding one's calling.

So yes, it may look a little different, but everywhere there are people with needs. The focus of needs may change as our own circumstances may change (eg, it may not be appropriate to do some things with babies in tow). TWI forgot this (or ignored it).

But God doesn't forget.

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My calling is to be a church musician, not ordained clergy(which I would fail at miserably). I teach music to my choir and congregation in hymnody and ritual by playing organ/piano/synthesizer, drums and percussion, handbells, conducting, explaining pronunciation/enunciation of vowels and consonants for clear diction of words, explaing visual art(icons, banners, placards, paintings, statues, multi-colored stain glass windows, furniture like pews, pulpits/lecterns, altars), etc. While for my own spiritual edification I examine different Bible translations, Figures of Speech(Bullinger's 300 vs. Lamsa and Erricco's 1,000), Biblical culture/customs/mannerisms("Orientalisms"), I do not mandate that others must do the same in order to have a relationship with Yahweh and Christ Jesus.

Edited by Thomas Loy Bumgarner
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multi-colored stain glass windows

Thatsa my job

Im quiet in and around churches -almost nobody ever knows Ive even been there- basically I only go in them to work and in fact I dont even belong to one...but my windows hang out in a lot of them. I try to work them so that they will create an atmosphere conducive to worship---

if thats anything -a 'call'-I dont really know--but I do knowThe OT recognizes by name the craftsman of the tabernacle and says they were called and gifted to do that work.

I honestly can get more of a feel of a church when no one is there and it is totally empty just by seeing the care and concern in the architecture, craftsmanship, details and artwork that they have produced and commissioned...than by hearing a thousand 'teachings'--- some people may not notice but I do and thats often enough to carry me for quite awhile

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what a beautiful calling, newlife

and mstar, i've always loved an empty church -- since i was really young (maybe 7 or 8 - they didn't lock mine) -- felt so connected to God

forgive me everyone else, i still have to read

also, sunesis has awesome, lovely thoughts about gifts and callings since we were children

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Thatsa my job

Im quiet in and around churches -almost nobody ever knows Ive even been there- basically I only go in them to work and in fact I dont even belong to one...but my windows hang out in a lot of them. I try to work them so that they will create an atmosphere conducive to worship---

Oddly enough, I experience much the same thing... only I clean the windows.

I was called (on the telephone) to clean the windows at a local Catholic Church. It’s huge, and has a school on the same grounds. I was raised as a child attending two such RC church/school complexes from grades 1 through 8.

The campus is beautiful and peaceful, and all the people are wonderfully serene and together. The pastor even has an Irish brogue, and it’s all just like being in a Bing Crosby movie. The nostalgia is massive as I witness many scenes reminiscent of my upbringing.

I always remove my hat out of respect when I’m inside the sanctuary, but I haven’t gone so far as to genuflect as I pass the center aisle. It’s downright amusing how intensely aware I am of this one (IMO minor) breach of protocol. Such old memories and feelings don’t fade so easily at all.

Every time I’m there it’s like a trip back in time to the 1950’s. I love it.

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