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skyrider

20 Years Ago: My Final Task Before Exiting Twi's Cult

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I find it hard to believe that its been 20 years since I finished my final task............then............TOOK THE EXIT RAMP TO REALITY.

Even though it was gut-wrenching to stay those last two months.......it was something that I felt I needed to do.  In all good conscience, I just couldn't walk away and leave the whole state of Oklahoma in a mess.  The advanced class grads had been preparing for these 4 weekends for nearly a year...........and were deeply committed to finishing the Way of Abundance and Power series by attending this final August weekend.  [ I stayed for the advanced class grads of Oklahoma........no one else. ]

As I have documented here at GSC the growing chasm of distrust and disdain for trustees, most especially beginning in August 1995 (when martindale assigned corps to be on twi's payroll full-time).........what a fast 3-year roller coaster ride!  Once we signed on the line (full-time employees).......they treated us like slaves/property.  I am not sure that I've ever adequately expressed the box and conundrum of those three years.  Martindale claimed that he'd received prophesy from the Lord for all corps to be full-time......and that with this commitment, the spiritual growth in twi was going to be exponentially prevailing.  Expect it.  Believe it.

We labored for 3 years like it was wheat harvesting time EVERY DAY.........14, 16, 18 hours a day.

At the Limb level, it was totally crazy the amount of hours we spent each week to keep up with all the faxes and corps assignments from the trunk.  Heck, we were crossing over the bridge into the "Promised Land of the Prevailing Word"......and everyone needed to be sanctified and pure from any scintilla of doubt, fear or evil.  Not only were we to keep up with all the new information from the newly-embraced wap classes, but martindale would ramble on for 2 1/2 hours every corps meeting, each week.  I doubt that I've ever been so busy in my life.....in getting nothing done.

What a circus........with elephant man, bearded-lady, dancing bears, and six-legged goats.

I have lived to tell my story.......and what a damn scam I found myself in.

When I found Waydale two years later.......a new day dawned.

Thank you Paul Allen and Pawtucket.........you two are saints !!

 

 

 

On ‎1‎/‎7‎/‎2017 at 7:40 PM, skyrider said:

 

Fourth and Final Weekend  By Wednesday, as the adv class weekend was but days away.....I did what I've always done, throughout my life, prior to every football, basketball or track meet.......I refused to allow any distractions after Wednesday.  I absolutely needed Thursday and Friday to focus......to stay in my lane and run this race.  My driving focus was to run THRU the tape......for all those people in our state, ie adv class grads, who'd helped and supported us all those six years.  I was running for them!  No. One. Else.

Not for martindale, not for twi, not for the region guy.......the only way to stop the conflicts raging in my mind was to RUN THAT DAMN CLASS.

Grandparents and aunts, and sisters were coming into OKC to help babysit advanced class grads' kids.  My wife nearly avoided me the whole week.  She focused on the boys and kept her distance (from me).  She was supportive......but, as always, gave me my space.  The weight was all on me!

With all the communication flying back and forth, I wasn't even sure I had all the facts about the hq-incident.  And, apparently I didn't (because years later here at GSC) more facts spilled forth that I did not know.  So.....once this class was over, then I could decide then. 

I shut out the world around me......and ran the class.

 

Following Week   The phone lines were quiet.  Everyone in the state was exhausted......most men, back to work......women, work, kids and school prep.

My wife and I, too, were talking about the boys and school.  We had worked the whole damn weekend......crap, probably put in our 40+ hour week by then.  I had no guilt, NONE, about not being at my desk.  My attention was now, front and center, on my family.

Yeah....everything was still swirling, but I just needed a few days to stop.........running.

And......that's what I did. 

 

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20 years is a lifetime ago......

  • But then, there were those who left the cult in the early 70s.......45 years ago. 
  • And, those who left in the mass exodus around 1987.......30 years ago. 

Yeah, of course.......I wish that I would have left years earlier. 

But then, I wouldn't have seen firsthand how decrepit and demented wierwille's organization/doctrine would falter.  With martindale at the helm, we were oblivious of what would lie beyond the fog.  Yet, even after all of this......rivenbark had NO ANSWERS either.  The blind were (and are) leading the blind.

And, STILL it got worse.   The R&R group of corps exited LAST YEAR.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Greasespot Café stands as a living, breathing testament of personal stories withstanding, enduring and escaping cult indoctrination. 

How long will people keep coming forward to tell their stories?

How long will there be a need for this site?

 

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So, knowing what you knew when you were at that Adv Class - did you take the opportunity to tell those present that you were leaving, and explain at length WHY you were leaving?

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Twinky.......as you know, I gave a detailed account of my growing ire and dissent of twi's heavy-handedness and mandates in that thread "Insanity on Steroids."  Like Penworks and her book "Undertow".......chronicling my thoughts and actions, and how they evolved over time is a challenging task.  To my regret, I had always thought twi would move beyond wierwille and its leaders would rise up to walk in love, light and circumspectly.  My optimism was ill-placed.

At the local level (on the field)......we were seeing and living a different reality than headquarters.  Looking back, it's now easy to see..........that I had been moving closer to the exit doors since 1994.  To me, life was much bigger than twi's box.......and Christianity was far bigger than any one group or denomination. 

Looking back, I still laugh thinking that...... at our Limb meetings in 1994 and 1995, we eliminated the meeting/ushers/stringchairs and went to the lake.  We had two ski boats.  We played sand volleyball and games all afternoon.....and had a campfire with s'mores for the kids.  Some camped overnight.  We had loads of fun.

The cult is a dichotomy............

  • ......when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging
  • ......how to best help others out of a hole that they don't realize they're in
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1 hour ago, skyrider said:

(SNIP)...

~~~~~~~~~~~

Greasespot Café stands as a living, breathing testament of personal stories withstanding, enduring and escaping cult indoctrination. 

How long will people keep coming forward to tell their stories?

How long will there be a need for this site?

 

I think Grease Spot often has a twofold attraction to new folks:

1. Some experiences they read about deeply resonate with them too – it strikes a nerve and it won’t quit vibrating!

2. The seemingly endless possibilities and options for those who dare to thinkand live – outside the cult-box.

 

 

...as long as there are cults around there will always be a need for a website like this!

Edited by T-Bone
let freedom ring !!!
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On 8/4/2018 at 7:42 AM, T-Bone said:

I think Grease Spot often has a twofold attraction to new folks:

1. Some experiences they read about deeply resonate with them too – it strikes a nerve and it won’t quit vibrating!

2. The seemingly endless possibilities and options for those who dare to thinkand live – outside the cult-box.

I would add a third:

3. An illumination of all things that were hidden from those out in the ether, the regular attendees of their local fellowship.

Like me.  You all have floored me with your firsthand sharings of the evils of TWI.

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17 hours ago, Taxidev said:

I would add a third:

3. An illumination of all things that were hidden from those out in the ether, the regular attendees of their local fellowship.

Like me.  You all have floored me with your firsthand sharings of the evils of TWI.

Yes - What was hidden from the local fellowships was the dark underbelly of the beast. I mentioned on another thread how TWI has two faces...

 

...there is the pristine Christian-like appearance to the general TWI audience ...

 

... then there is something like on the order of a wicked-stepmother-out-of-a-Disney-movie aspect of TWI, where the way corps ...are really the stepchildren (“fathered” by the wonderfully charming “apostle” of plagiarism...or maybe it’s more like being misled to think we are following in the steps of the school of the prophets of the Old Testament or even like the disciples of the Lord Jesus when he walked the earth...yes perhaps priding ourselves on having a child-like faith can be a treacherous journey) ...

the way corps suffered abuses and exploitation to keep the cult machinations operational...we thought we were giving our all for God and the one true ministry...

 

...but I think all the hype, all the bull$hit, all the intimidation, all the monotonous and often mindless tasks heaped on the way corps just isn’t enough to keep folks on the unfulfilling hamster wheel indefinitely.

Edited by T-Bone
Clarity and formatting
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31 minutes ago, T-Bone said:

What was hidden from the local fellowships was the dark underbelly of the beast.

That's because there was a concerted effort to conceal the inner workings. It didn't simply go unnoticed. As you said, it was purposely hidden. Hidden with threats of expulsion for thinking evil thoughts of your brother or sister, threats of retaliation for exposing the nefarious actions of leadership, threats of the devil consuming you if you should dare to ever venture outside the wall of protection. And perhaps the worst of all, threats of God refusing to "spit in your direction" if you should be so bold as to withhold your *abundant sharing.

Better watch out!  You'll be a grease-spot in the road by midnight.

 

*Way-speak for obligatory tithe.

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