A guy goes into a whorehouse and tells the madam,"look,I'm desparate and I only have two bucks..Can you help me out?"....The madam says "two bucks,are you out of your mind?"...Then she thought for a second and said "Wait a minute,I do have Olga...But I'll tell you,nobody has seen her in years and she's pretty old,and,well, she's not all there"...The guy says "I told you I was desparate,didn't I? Where is she?"...So the madam points him to Olga's room at the end of the hall...The guy pays his two bucks and goes into Olga's room and finds a frail,homely old woman and thinks to himself 'you get what you pay for'...So he starts to get undressed,wondering why Olga's not doing the same...When he finally gets all of his clothes off Olga lays down on the bed,pulls out her glass eye,points to the empty socket and says "give it to me here,baby!"...After the initial shock,the guy figures,hey two bucks is two bucks and gave it to her where she wanted it...When finished,he smiled and said "Wow,Olga,that was the best sex I've ever had! Can I come see you again sometime?...Olga said "Sure,baby,...You can come see me again anytime...I'll keep an eye out for you."
Okay, back from the services in Texas; Uncle Dan had asked his good friend (also a Baptist minister) to do his services. He'd said, "Are you ready to do my graduation service?"
He was on his deathbed once before, but God gave him seven more years.
All in all, it was pretty sweet. Not easy, but very sweet and loving.
Thanks for keeping us in your prayers; you guys are the best.
Time to put up the Christmas tree and deck the halls! Time to grade the last papers and turn in the grades! Time for EGGNOG!
Simon, thanks. I'm not sure how well I'm handling it, but I'm certainly getting used to it. This year, I've now lost two uncles, my dad, and my husband's grandmother. This is getting very old. It's time for the black dress to stay in the closet for awhile.
The chances, statistically, are probably pretty good that it will (knock on wood).
Today, we're getting a Christmas tree. Life goes on, there are children to bring up, there is work to do, and there are cats to feed, jokes to tell, and adventures upon which to embark.
I am reminded of the song at the end of the movie, A Bug's Life: "It's the time of your life, so live it well."
I'm not yet finished with my changes. Heck, I just got braces on my teeth, as old as I am, last week. I've wanted them since I was about eleven. They look like heck, and are ridiculously uncomfortable. I LOVE THEM!
Good for you to get braces... you are not alone... I know a guy who had when he was also past 40. He was very glad he did it.
It may not be any comfort, but I can relate to what you're going through. In 1992, I lost six people, friends and relatives, none in the same month. I had not lost anyone close before that year... so it was very difficult, and my introduction to grieving. It will pass. I'm sure you are very thankful for your family and support system... it is helping you already more than you may yet realize.
Well, you are right; it will pass, and I am very thankful for family and friends.
And for the folks on Greasespot, who are either family, or friends, or (weelll, what are we to one another?) compadres of some good sort. It's nice to come here.
There was an old pickup that might let you ride in the back . . .
it's cold on the way to Duluth.
Wait, let's go to Florida, instead. Look: there's somebody stopping, going South. That's the weirdest 18-wheeler I've ever seen. Okay, remember: the guy gets in first, the girl hands him the luggage, and the girl gets in last.
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Rocky
Never have bought anything from QVC or HSN/C... what a wonderful bunch of kids you have there... and the oldest must be incredibly smart, going to the University of Chicago! :)
Rocky
[quote name=notinKansasanymore' date='29 July 2009 - 11:15 AM' ti mestamp='1248891304' post='471939] And speaking of Cash for Clunkers (see, I told you it's impossible to derail),there is no longer
Rocky
Oh... (((((((Karmicdebt))))))), I'm SOOOOOO sorry. It is most understandable that you would feel that way.
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excathedra
what do you call the guy w/ no arms/legs in mailbox ?
Bill
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excathedra
in a bank ?
Buck
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excathedra
with a spade ?
Doug
without a spade ?
Douglas
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excathedra
flying over a fence ?
Homer !!!!!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha i like that one
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Tom Strange
A butcher is 5'11" tall.
He pants size is waist 36, length 32.
His shirt size is XL.
His shoe size is 11.
His cultural background is Nordic.
He wears glasses.
What does he weigh?
... I've been here and I've been there and I've been in between...
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Tom Strange
seesterniKa...PT...
... I've been here and I've been there and I've been in between...
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tomtuttle
Sir Strangler, please seek professional counselling.
Yes sirree, we ARE Competent to Counsel ...
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excathedra
yes and i still have the book tootle you. always ready willing and able !!!!!!
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simonzelotes
I think the butcher weighs meat...
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Rocky
I agree with simonzeloaded on that one
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tomtuttle
Simonize, you impress me as one who has a firm grip on the obvious. Weight on me, saith the Lord ... I guess He is anorexic ...
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simonzelotes
A guy goes into a whorehouse and tells the madam,"look,I'm desparate and I only have two bucks..Can you help me out?"....The madam says "two bucks,are you out of your mind?"...Then she thought for a second and said "Wait a minute,I do have Olga...But I'll tell you,nobody has seen her in years and she's pretty old,and,well, she's not all there"...The guy says "I told you I was desparate,didn't I? Where is she?"...So the madam points him to Olga's room at the end of the hall...The guy pays his two bucks and goes into Olga's room and finds a frail,homely old woman and thinks to himself 'you get what you pay for'...So he starts to get undressed,wondering why Olga's not doing the same...When he finally gets all of his clothes off Olga lays down on the bed,pulls out her glass eye,points to the empty socket and says "give it to me here,baby!"...After the initial shock,the guy figures,hey two bucks is two bucks and gave it to her where she wanted it...When finished,he smiled and said "Wow,Olga,that was the best sex I've ever had! Can I come see you again sometime?...Olga said "Sure,baby,...You can come see me again anytime...I'll keep an eye out for you."
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Rocky
whew...? What IS that smell?
Oh, sorry, it was Simon's last joke. :P
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tomtuttle
Love, love, love, mah poeple ...
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notinKansasanymore
Okay, back from the services in Texas; Uncle Dan had asked his good friend (also a Baptist minister) to do his services. He'd said, "Are you ready to do my graduation service?"
He was on his deathbed once before, but God gave him seven more years.
All in all, it was pretty sweet. Not easy, but very sweet and loving.
Thanks for keeping us in your prayers; you guys are the best.
Time to put up the Christmas tree and deck the halls! Time to grade the last papers and turn in the grades! Time for EGGNOG!
"Live just, and fear not."
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simonzelotes
Nika,you seem to be handling the difficult things well...Go ahead and spike the eggnog...But grade the papers first....
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notinKansasanymore
Simon, thanks. I'm not sure how well I'm handling it, but I'm certainly getting used to it. This year, I've now lost two uncles, my dad, and my husband's grandmother. This is getting very old. It's time for the black dress to stay in the closet for awhile.
The chances, statistically, are probably pretty good that it will (knock on wood).
Today, we're getting a Christmas tree. Life goes on, there are children to bring up, there is work to do, and there are cats to feed, jokes to tell, and adventures upon which to embark.
I am reminded of the song at the end of the movie, A Bug's Life: "It's the time of your life, so live it well."
I'm not yet finished with my changes. Heck, I just got braces on my teeth, as old as I am, last week. I've wanted them since I was about eleven. They look like heck, and are ridiculously uncomfortable. I LOVE THEM!
So, let's see what comes next, shall we?
"Live just, and fear not."
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Rocky
niKa,
Good for you to get braces... you are not alone... I know a guy who had when he was also past 40. He was very glad he did it.
It may not be any comfort, but I can relate to what you're going through. In 1992, I lost six people, friends and relatives, none in the same month. I had not lost anyone close before that year... so it was very difficult, and my introduction to grieving. It will pass. I'm sure you are very thankful for your family and support system... it is helping you already more than you may yet realize.
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notinKansasanymore
SIX? Oh, my goodness.
Well, you are right; it will pass, and I am very thankful for family and friends.
And for the folks on Greasespot, who are either family, or friends, or (weelll, what are we to one another?) compadres of some good sort. It's nice to come here.
"Live just, and fear not."
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tomtuttle
You're a good girl, Nika-teen. Thank God we can retain the fond memories vividly ...
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excathedra
hi my friends a million mwahs
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excathedra
teek you're a sick **** (no that does not say "pup") and i love you madly
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simonzelotes
Happy Ho-Ho Relo,everybody...Anybody headed towards Duluth got room for two passengers?....
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notinKansasanymore
There was an old pickup that might let you ride in the back . . .
it's cold on the way to Duluth.
Wait, let's go to Florida, instead. Look: there's somebody stopping, going South. That's the weirdest 18-wheeler I've ever seen. Okay, remember: the guy gets in first, the girl hands him the luggage, and the girl gets in last.
See you on the BEACH!
"Live just, and fear not."
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