Thanks! We did have a bit of weather, but didn't have to make a run for the basement, or anything. All of the school busses in town were held at the schools, with the children who ride them still in their classrooms, because the district didn't want full busses on the streets in case anything happened. They held all of the children for more than an hour that way, until the cells had passed over.
It was kind of serious, but in the end, not.
In this area, it can go either way, so it's good to be cautious.
Since I pick up my children from school, all it meant for us is that we didn't make our planned trip to Walmart, but came home instead, so as to be nearer the aforementioned basement.
I still haven't heard all of the damage reports yet... but we mostly had the straight line winds and horizontal rain and lots o lightening... you know... the usual... but they did have the warnings out (you know that means they're around) for the entire area for a while...
looks like spring is here...
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
I know this is long (forgive me)...I think I got most of these right...
Redneck Engineering Exam
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) '66 Ford Fairlane b) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) '64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?
8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?
9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Rocketman... your jokes about lawyers certainly seem to be on a particular 'slant'... I thought I read somewhere that you're thinking about going back to school to become one? or was that "the voices"...?
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
My experience in family court and regarding homeowners' association issues both makes it so I can relate to the attitude toward lawyers and at the same time still figure that's the direction I need to go.
I've been telling people for years that if I won the lottery, I would go to law school.
Well, it's looking like I might have a way to make that happen. I wouldn't be able to start before fall 2005, however.
I really love The History Channel... well, not love maybe, but I like it a whole lot...
now... back to our regularly scheduled foolishness... where are the other brethren and sistern? why are they not here with us for this feelowsheep? do they have lives?
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Too bad! You missed the kids killing another television with squirt guns (peripheral fire during a heated battle; they weren't aiming for the TV) (we won't be hiring THAT babysitter again).
It was resurrected with a blowdryer. I had a little talk with my son. "This is the second television you've killed, and you're only seven." Even he saw the point.
He's so much like my Dad that it's uncanny.
You could have gone to see The Passion of the Christ with us, but we had to buy tickets several days in advance. The theatre was so quiet when we walked in, that I was shocked to look up and find that there were almost no more seats together; it was a sold-out house.
E-mail and let me know when you'll be in town the next time, okay? We'd love to see you.
Recommended Posts
Top Posters In This Topic
1045
1279
802
950
Popular Days
Jun 25
90
Sep 5
37
Apr 8
24
Oct 5
22
Top Posters In This Topic
notinKansasanymore 1,045 posts
excathedra 1,279 posts
simonzelotes 802 posts
Tom Strange 950 posts
Popular Days
Jun 25 2003
90 posts
Sep 5 2003
37 posts
Apr 8 2004
24 posts
Oct 5 2003
22 posts
Popular Posts
Rocky
Never have bought anything from QVC or HSN/C... what a wonderful bunch of kids you have there... and the oldest must be incredibly smart, going to the University of Chicago! :)
Rocky
[quote name=notinKansasanymore' date='29 July 2009 - 11:15 AM' ti mestamp='1248891304' post='471939] And speaking of Cash for Clunkers (see, I told you it's impossible to derail),there is no longer
Rocky
Oh... (((((((Karmicdebt))))))), I'm SOOOOOO sorry. It is most understandable that you would feel that way.
Posted Images
Rocky
How can a pregnant woman tell she's carrying a future lawyer?
.
.
.
.
She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney,
How does an attorney sleep?
.
.
.
.
.
.
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
notinKansasanymore
Just tried to post something that didn't work. Well, okay.
Spent the day with 5-year-old girls at the children's activity museum, the Omniplex. Facepaint, waterplay, the Grossology exhibit; you get the idea.
Just now getting over it.
:)-->
Edited by GuestLink to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
hi niKa... spent the last hour watching an incredible thunderstorm go through... lots of ternaders in the area... watch out up there!
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rocky
Rained here too today... no twisters, however.
Probably more snow in the mountains... the desert will love this. (and I do too).
Link to comment
Share on other sites
notinKansasanymore
Thanks! We did have a bit of weather, but didn't have to make a run for the basement, or anything. All of the school busses in town were held at the schools, with the children who ride them still in their classrooms, because the district didn't want full busses on the streets in case anything happened. They held all of the children for more than an hour that way, until the cells had passed over.
It was kind of serious, but in the end, not.
In this area, it can go either way, so it's good to be cautious.
Since I pick up my children from school, all it meant for us is that we didn't make our planned trip to Walmart, but came home instead, so as to be nearer the aforementioned basement.
"Live just, and fear not."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
I still haven't heard all of the damage reports yet... but we mostly had the straight line winds and horizontal rain and lots o lightening... you know... the usual... but they did have the warnings out (you know that means they're around) for the entire area for a while...
looks like spring is here...
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
J0nny Ling0
Confucious also say:
Man who walk around with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
You know you're a redneck when your stair master has an ashtray!
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
I know this is long (forgive me)...I think I got most of these right...
Redneck Engineering Exam
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) '66 Ford Fairlane b) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) '64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?
8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, how many people will swerve to avoid the truck before it crashes at the bottom of the mountain? For extra credit, how many of the vehicles that swerved will have mufflers and uncracked windshields?
9. A Coal Mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Edited by GuestLink to comment
Share on other sites
Rocky
Nice job Tom!
--------------
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the newspaper?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
I'd play golf...
...did anyone pass the "Engineering Exam"?
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rocky
What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.....
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honor.
....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
Rocketman... your jokes about lawyers certainly seem to be on a particular 'slant'... I thought I read somewhere that you're thinking about going back to school to become one? or was that "the voices"...?
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rocky
you are correct sir.
I got the jokes by email. They are funny anyway.
My experience in family court and regarding homeowners' association issues both makes it so I can relate to the attitude toward lawyers and at the same time still figure that's the direction I need to go.
I've been telling people for years that if I won the lottery, I would go to law school.
Well, it's looking like I might have a way to make that happen. I wouldn't be able to start before fall 2005, however.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
notinKansasanymore
What do you call fifty lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A start.
Why don't sharks eat lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
(These were told to me by a lawyer; coincidentally, the same guy about whom I wrote in the "Atkins Warning" thread in the Open forum.)
"Live just, and fear not."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
I really love The History Channel... well, not love maybe, but I like it a whole lot...
now... back to our regularly scheduled foolishness... where are the other brethren and sistern? why are they not here with us for this feelowsheep? do they have lives?
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
no
Link to comment
Share on other sites
fellowshipper
What does an accountant do when they have constipation. They work it out with a pencil.
tom strange what are the answers to your questions.
Niki I was up in the city this weekend but couldn't make it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
notinKansasanymore
Too bad! You missed the kids killing another television with squirt guns (peripheral fire during a heated battle; they weren't aiming for the TV) (we won't be hiring THAT babysitter again).
It was resurrected with a blowdryer. I had a little talk with my son. "This is the second television you've killed, and you're only seven." Even he saw the point.
He's so much like my Dad that it's uncanny.
You could have gone to see The Passion of the Christ with us, but we had to buy tickets several days in advance. The theatre was so quiet when we walked in, that I was shocked to look up and find that there were almost no more seats together; it was a sold-out house.
E-mail and let me know when you'll be in town the next time, okay? We'd love to see you.
"Live just, and fear not."
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
heck fellowsheeper I don't know the answers... I'm not a Redneck Engineer!
niKa, you think he'll remember in a month?
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Edited by GuestLink to comment
Share on other sites
tomtuttle
Yes.
Just remember; Today IS yesterday's tomorrow ...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
hair today, gone tomorrow
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Tom Strange
I'm so confused... but then, I am old...
She's the kind of a girl that makes the "News of the World" Yes you could say she was attractively built.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
notinKansasanymore
Yes, he remembers everything.
I, however, now, let's see . . . what was that I was going to say . . .?
Edited by GuestLink to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.