And yeah, the marriage thing, the one thing I'm absolutely sure of that would be the most important aspect of any relationship and upon which success or failure would completely depend would be [deleted]
but even moreso [deleted]. Most important though, if you do decide to go with these suggestions, remember - the equipment should be assembled by a licensed, experienced technician so the [deleted] fit properly. These are really important instructions, as serious damage can occur to the [deleted] and [deleted] if they're even off a centimeter or two, which is why I would also suggest [deleted}.
Actually I believe in marriage after "a million years of it myself". FOS. After all, why buy the milk when the cream is free?
In the end someone could get just as hurt if the other partner leaves after building a life together. I think the marriage thing at least makes you take the time and do a full evaluation before your would ever end the relationship. What's wrong with commitment?
What's wrong also with commiting to life together with NO consideration of divorce EVER. I know from personal experience that you do not have to follow the world's way of doing things, throwing in the towel. Even thou your sweetie had a bad experience, does not mean he has to have one now?
However; to each his own. God bless your union together. XOXOXO
What's wrong also with commiting to life together with NO consideration of divorce EVER. I know from personal experience that you do not have to follow the world's way of doing things, throwing in the towel. Even thou your sweetie had a bad experience, does not mean he has to have one now?
That's what Ted and I decided is that this is forever. The "D" word is not to be spoken, even in jest.
My husband and I dated for 1-1/2 years, lived together for 6 months while going through premarital counseling (which I highly recommend) and have been married for over 10 years now. And we are still in like, in love, best friends and happy together.
The 1-1/2 years we dated was a long distance relationship. We talked on phone and e-mailed a lot and really got to know each other. I love being married and can honestly say I've been happy since the day I met my husband.
Do you all think it's more of a big step for the man than the woman?
Of all the people I know who've lived together without being married first, the only ones that survived the process were those who knew beforehand that they would marry at some point in the future. The only exceptions are those who are older, and live together without marriage for legal reasons to protect assets for their children...and these folks were well into their sixties at least.
If someone has been divorced twice I understand why they would hesitate to embrace a third marriage - I probably would think the same way. If he hasn't addressed the issues that resulted in the 2 divorces, and corrected them - I'm not so sure I'd be happy living with him, let alone marrying him.
I don't want to be discouraging. Just be very careful, because once you take yourself permanently off the "dating market" it's really hard to get back into it.
Since I left twi a fews years ago, I have looked around and found several folks living together. Its been a little adjustment for me. I come from the old school, so to speak. Im speaking of folks still fellowshipping outside the way.People have free will:)...I have had to rework alot of my own thinking about relationships in this area....If im totaly convinced that marriage is on the horizon I would live together. For some reason is usualy seems like it's a convienance situation for most. Some I think still have trusting issues......to commit. For me It would have to have a very strong bond,not based on sex either......that is only temporaily, thats a product of intimicy of the heart and desires..I think the ability to reason and make good decisions should be apparent, if possible, before considering living together. I also think that if a person doesnt understand why thier first marriage failed..it wil linger into the next marriage..It takes maturity and honesty to look at those things..
I too, thought for many years that I could only be married and did not ever seriously consider living with someone. For me to think of any other option other than marriage is a big step for me. It means breaking out of a very narrow point of view that I've had since TWI/CES and face a wider horizon. It means dealing with some "fear of God" for stepping away from what I'm "supposed" to do.
I believe most people here at GS have been down this road, or are still traveling it, in some areas of life. This just happens to be one of my roads.
I really don't know at this point if we will move in together or what. For me, I still want to be married, and I don't think I could consider a long-term living together arrangement without some plan for marriage, and I have discussed that with my sweetie. It's not a question of commitment on his part, or whether he loves me. I just feel that there is a greater bond in marriage.
However, I have never been married before, and I know that many divorced people see things differently. I understand the thinking of not wanting to do that again.
a greater bond ? i'm not sure. that would depend on the two people and how "committed" they are to their love and life
also there are people whoe don't live up to the greater bond, as opposed to ones who live together
oh never mind too much talking in circles :)
ps. this will go against everything i've been saying, but if i had never been married, and someone i was in love with was saying they didn't want to get married, i might cry and think they didn't love me
I have been married twice in my life. The first time was an error. I truly never thought I would remarry but I did.
I found the perfect husband and wasn't even looking .... we have been together for 14 years and married 13 years next month. I would give him up for nothing. Marriage is work but its worth every bit of it. He has stood by my side through thick and thin ..... He is a beautiful man and I love him dearly.
I would never ever be able to just shack up with someone without the commitment of a set date of marriage and he and I did that the year we lived together awaiting our set wedding date ...... we were engaged that whole year. We kept to our committed date obviously.
If anything were to happen to my husband I would stay single. I would not date. Marriage is truly a reward and has a sharing that just living together doesn't have. Our bond was made so much stronger by marriage and working at that marriage.
Love, Joy, Peace, Happiness ........ all this in marriage and so much more when you have found the right person.
Aww, what a sweetie you are, Belle! (yes, it's WWJLA, under a new name)
Well, no ring under the tree, but he said he wanted us to look at that together, and we've looked a little, so...I'm just waiting for the question! I'll keep you posted!
I think that the Lord makes a woman for every man, and that when you find that one, it's truly a marriage designed in heaven, made on earth following the heavenly design/pattern.
What the Lord did for Isaac in Rebekkah no less can He do for us.
(Fred and I had our 38th anniversary a few weeks ago.)
because of the way social security is set up for the parent who devotes their time to raising the kids, there are reasons I should not remarry. uncle sam has dictated I marry for money or shack up to avoid living on a pittance as my reward for being the good wife. what to do... what to do? I'm throwing caution to the wind and getting married.
I believed "til death do us part" and took far too long to leave my first marriage. I wouldn't risk it again, if it weren't for the fact I really like this guy and can't imagine my life without him.
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Nottawayfer
Darn, it looks like I missed a lot here!
Belle, maybe you can fill me in on a PM or email.
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moony3424
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socks
Belle, you da WOMAn! Classic! My gift to you...
Check it out...HERE!
for an audio treat of biblical proportions!
And yeah, the marriage thing, the one thing I'm absolutely sure of that would be the most important aspect of any relationship and upon which success or failure would completely depend would be [deleted]
but even moreso [deleted]. Most important though, if you do decide to go with these suggestions, remember - the equipment should be assembled by a licensed, experienced technician so the [deleted] fit properly. These are really important instructions, as serious damage can occur to the [deleted] and [deleted] if they're even off a centimeter or two, which is why I would also suggest [deleted}.
IMO, anyway. :blink:
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excathedra
i've done both and then some with mixed results
you follow your heart and your sweetheart's heart.... together
i'm pretty sure jesus won't laugh
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moony3424
Love it Socks!!
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topoftheworld
Socks: Way to self-edit!
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dmiller
Belle -- check your pm's :)
Oh wait -- we don't have to say that anymore here
Should I delete???
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Gillian Rules
Actually I believe in marriage after "a million years of it myself". FOS. After all, why buy the milk when the cream is free?
In the end someone could get just as hurt if the other partner leaves after building a life together. I think the marriage thing at least makes you take the time and do a full evaluation before your would ever end the relationship. What's wrong with commitment?
What's wrong also with commiting to life together with NO consideration of divorce EVER. I know from personal experience that you do not have to follow the world's way of doing things, throwing in the towel. Even thou your sweetie had a bad experience, does not mean he has to have one now?
However; to each his own. God bless your union together. XOXOXO
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moony3424
That's what Ted and I decided is that this is forever. The "D" word is not to be spoken, even in jest.
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Edi
The 1-1/2 years we dated was a long distance relationship. We talked on phone and e-mailed a lot and really got to know each other. I love being married and can honestly say I've been happy since the day I met my husband.
Do you all think it's more of a big step for the man than the woman?
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shazdancer
Hi, Gillian,
Try thinking about it this way...
Are you still in TWI?
No? Why not?
Didn't you make a commitment?
Think about it.
Regards,
Shaz
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krys
Of all the people I know who've lived together without being married first, the only ones that survived the process were those who knew beforehand that they would marry at some point in the future. The only exceptions are those who are older, and live together without marriage for legal reasons to protect assets for their children...and these folks were well into their sixties at least.
If someone has been divorced twice I understand why they would hesitate to embrace a third marriage - I probably would think the same way. If he hasn't addressed the issues that resulted in the 2 divorces, and corrected them - I'm not so sure I'd be happy living with him, let alone marrying him.
I don't want to be discouraging. Just be very careful, because once you take yourself permanently off the "dating market" it's really hard to get back into it.
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likeaneagle
Since I left twi a fews years ago, I have looked around and found several folks living together. Its been a little adjustment for me. I come from the old school, so to speak. Im speaking of folks still fellowshipping outside the way.People have free will:)...I have had to rework alot of my own thinking about relationships in this area....If im totaly convinced that marriage is on the horizon I would live together. For some reason is usualy seems like it's a convienance situation for most. Some I think still have trusting issues......to commit. For me It would have to have a very strong bond,not based on sex either......that is only temporaily, thats a product of intimicy of the heart and desires..I think the ability to reason and make good decisions should be apparent, if possible, before considering living together. I also think that if a person doesnt understand why thier first marriage failed..it wil linger into the next marriage..It takes maturity and honesty to look at those things..
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Belle
Socks, be still my heart!, that was AWESOME!!! Thank you!!! Thank you, verry much! Glad to know you have most excellent taste in movies.
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socks
My pleasure. :)
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wwjesuslaughat
Likeaneagle,
I too, thought for many years that I could only be married and did not ever seriously consider living with someone. For me to think of any other option other than marriage is a big step for me. It means breaking out of a very narrow point of view that I've had since TWI/CES and face a wider horizon. It means dealing with some "fear of God" for stepping away from what I'm "supposed" to do.
I believe most people here at GS have been down this road, or are still traveling it, in some areas of life. This just happens to be one of my roads.
I really don't know at this point if we will move in together or what. For me, I still want to be married, and I don't think I could consider a long-term living together arrangement without some plan for marriage, and I have discussed that with my sweetie. It's not a question of commitment on his part, or whether he loves me. I just feel that there is a greater bond in marriage.
However, I have never been married before, and I know that many divorced people see things differently. I understand the thinking of not wanting to do that again.
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dmiller
And so there is. An immeasurably greater one. I agree. :)
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excathedra
a greater bond ? i'm not sure. that would depend on the two people and how "committed" they are to their love and life
also there are people whoe don't live up to the greater bond, as opposed to ones who live together
oh never mind too much talking in circles :)
ps. this will go against everything i've been saying, but if i had never been married, and someone i was in love with was saying they didn't want to get married, i might cry and think they didn't love me
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Digitalis
WWJesuslaughat,
I have been married twice in my life. The first time was an error. I truly never thought I would remarry but I did.
I found the perfect husband and wasn't even looking .... we have been together for 14 years and married 13 years next month. I would give him up for nothing. Marriage is work but its worth every bit of it. He has stood by my side through thick and thin ..... He is a beautiful man and I love him dearly.
I would never ever be able to just shack up with someone without the commitment of a set date of marriage and he and I did that the year we lived together awaiting our set wedding date ...... we were engaged that whole year. We kept to our committed date obviously.
If anything were to happen to my husband I would stay single. I would not date. Marriage is truly a reward and has a sharing that just living together doesn't have. Our bond was made so much stronger by marriage and working at that marriage.
Love, Joy, Peace, Happiness ........ all this in marriage and so much more when you have found the right person.
Digi
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Belle
How's it going oh, beautiful one?
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batcave
Aww, what a sweetie you are, Belle! (yes, it's WWJLA, under a new name)
Well, no ring under the tree, but he said he wanted us to look at that together, and we've looked a little, so...I'm just waiting for the question! I'll keep you posted!
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Ham
:
George, don't SAY that!
Feel like tempting fate?
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Kit Sober
I think that the Lord makes a woman for every man, and that when you find that one, it's truly a marriage designed in heaven, made on earth following the heavenly design/pattern.
What the Lord did for Isaac in Rebekkah no less can He do for us.
(Fred and I had our 38th anniversary a few weeks ago.)
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potato
I picked the wrong guy the first time around.
because of the way social security is set up for the parent who devotes their time to raising the kids, there are reasons I should not remarry. uncle sam has dictated I marry for money or shack up to avoid living on a pittance as my reward for being the good wife. what to do... what to do? I'm throwing caution to the wind and getting married.
I believed "til death do us part" and took far too long to leave my first marriage. I wouldn't risk it again, if it weren't for the fact I really like this guy and can't imagine my life without him.
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