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Police called to post office to investigate 'suspicious' X-rated package

LILBURN, Ga. (AP) ? A post office and surrounding area were evacuated after a mail carrier came across a suspicious, vibrating package. X-rays soon revealed the box to be X-rated.

U.S. Postal Service spokesman Michael Miles said the package aroused suspicion from a carrier and his supervisor, who took the priority-listed mail into the parking lot and called police.

The Gwinnett County bomb squad, U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and the Gwinnett County Fire Department evacuated the building and the parking lot Wednesday and shut down a nearby street.

A high-tech robot was sent in to pick up the package and X-ray it. The X-ray showed wires and objects, Miles said. When it was opened, authorities found adult toys, including a vibrator and massage oil.

The resident to whom the package was addressed will be notified of what happened, but will not be prosecuted.

"Since these are all legal items, we won't be doing any follow-up investigation," police spokesman Cpl. Dan Huggins said.

Reprinted from Courttv.com

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Oh, okay, I was wondering.

I don't know why any guy is ever embarassed to buy condoms or tampons.

I mean, is the cashier going to think that a guy is buying tampons for himself?

And in either situation, isn't the message "I got a woman!"?

Heck, when I buy items of that nature, I put them on the counter proudly!

The very few times I've bought condoms, I bought them proudly, and the cashier sort of smiled shyly, and I got her phone number, because she figured that I was responsible, I was having sex, I was bold and unashamed, and besides, I have a good sense of humor (well, at least *I* think so).

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Reverend mother excatharsis - you so funny!

Chindy - a loooooong time ago, I assure you!

Yes, men buy vibrators. I bought one many years ago as a gift for someone. It turns out that that person was extremely frigid, and looked at me like I had 12 heads when I gave it to her.

Also, if it made Chindy happy, I'd buy 100 vibrators.

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I wouldn't want to derail this wonderful thread & stop the good vibrations, but while we're on a 15 minute break while chin & Steve go get a room, I though I would tell about a news story that I heard on the radio about another couple that got themselves a room.

This couple had rented a motel room. She was tied naked and spread eagled on the bed (hey, I'm serious - I really heard this on the news), and he was dressed up in a batman outfit. He got up on the dresser to jump on her, and as he jumped, he got a heart attack.

Well, that's fairly serious and sort of hurt the humor of the story - I suppose it would be funnier if I heard a follow up and the fellow was alright - but I suppose that he recovered.

But imagine her predicament. All she could do was yell for help until someone heard and got in to find them in this embarrassing situation.

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?I mean, is the cashier going to think that a guy is buying tampons for himself??

Best rifle barrel cleaner ever made.

?The very few times I've bought condoms, I bought them proudly?

Each time that I go in to pick up my prescriptions, I can grab a hand-full (the pharmacy keeps an open box on their shelf) at least there free.

Once in 1989, I was stationed in Holyloch Scotland (to repair submarines) and for a few months I was assigned out on the pier as the site Security guard team. To step onto the pier, you had to walk through a British ?border crossing? inspection, then at the end of the pier we had a waiting room and each hour a ferry came to transport people to the subs. Everyone had to walk through a metal detector archway and we X-rayed all baggage.

(Mostly we carried drunk sailors back to the subs when they left the pubs.) We had perhaps 5 percent of the sailors there were female. It was not un-common to find electrical vibrators in their sea bags, as they were reporting onboard.


ET1 SS - USN Retired,

Pilgrim of the Ancient Arabic Order Nobles of the mystic shrine.


"I live in the spirit of prayer. I pray as I walk, when I lie down, and when I rise. And the answers are always coming. Tens of thousands of times have my prayers been answered. When once I am persuaded that a thing is right, I go on praying for it. the great point is never to give up till the answer comes. The great fault of the children of God is, they do not continue in prayer, they do not persevere. If they desire anything for God's glory, they should pray until they get it." - George Mueller

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*sketches this in the air a moment*

Let's see if I understand that last news item correctly.

She's tied down to the bed. Ok. I can picture that.

He enters the scene, dressed as Batman. Now, what's Batman doing in this scene? Since she's not dressed as either hero or villain, I'm supposing he's 'rescuing a prisoner' (hey, SOMEBODY tied her down.)

Ok. I've got the basic scenario here.

One question, though.

Why the HECK was he trying to swoop down on her?

That's not how he did it on the tv show or the movies. I've never seen him swoop DOWN on a VICTIM in any cartoon or comic book. I wonder what he was basing that maneuver on. Obviously he didn't do the math before attempting this little maneuver. (I'm not even going to wonder WHY a Batman costume or anything else.)


Comedian Yakov Smirnoff, prior to the fall of Communism, on life in the U.S. after growing up in the Soviet Union.

"You have freedoms here I never even imagined. I was in the store. I saw a sign that said 'New Freedom'. What a country! Freedom in a box.

I bought 15. I bought 'super-maxi', because I figured I should get as much freedom as possible. When I got them home, I was trying to figure them out. The box said 'sanitary napkins'. So, I put them out at the dinner table. I figured they were good napkins-they were expensive. People would go 'yuck'..*pushes away*,,,but no one would tell me what they were. "

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Hi Tom,

That's an urban legend story, but it gets better. "Batman" is a city councilman in real life. He does recover from his heart attack, and he begs the paramedics (who took care of him and rescued his, um, friend) to please "keep it between us, okay?"

All was well, until he pops into the local diner for morning coffee. All the regular locals are there, but nobody says anything. But finally, they start humming, "nananana-nananana-nanananana...Batman!"



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