I was raised a RC and did everything to be the best young man possible. Went to mass twice a day, being the alter boy at 6:30am low mass, and singing in the choir at the 8:15am high mass. After a number of years realizing all the masses, studying everyday after school, did nothing to make me closer to God. On the contrary, feeling nothing towards God was quite disheartening and led to hating the whole mess, and after graduation, the only time attending mass was at weddings and funerals. However, I did feel God was still important, and when witnessed to at a cafe by a TWI WOW, jumped at the idea to once again do something God wanted me too. I ate PFAL up like a hungary kid. My bible had all the believing and faith markings, and anthing else heard in a tape or from a leader. However, after my branch leader and his wife died in a horrific car accident, and no leader had any intentions of raising them from the dead, but condemned them for missing the revelation God was attempting to give them to avoid the accident, my faith went South. I stuck around for years after that, only because of the fear of becoming a greasespot my midnight overtook me. When I filed for a divorce I was M&A so was forced to leave. Thank goodness I was finally out and able to recover sanity.
Being out and able to think for myself, started realizing the only actions I saw about God performing miracles, was in a book written thousands of years ago. Why no parting of water in a lake when people were overtaken in a storm? Why no water being turned into wine, or the hungry getting their meager food multiplied to them?
At this point, questioning the bible and God really made sense. I can’t put a label on the kind of unbeliever I am, but have determined God, Santa Clause, and the Easter Bunny are in the same class. I believe there is some kind of supernatural powers, but don’t believe anyone of them will ever be my savior. Like Sam Harris said, being an atheist allows me to expand my knowledge of life. I cannot explain it all for sure, but can study things I do not understand.