washn'wear

I think there is merit to a lot of what you and Dr. Baer said. I think its the idea that a parent only or at least most frequently says this, because they have not figured out how to communicate most especially with tweens and teens. With toddlers, I am personally hoping the parent is watching enough that the "times" of the "how many" have not escalated to extremely unsafe amounts...(increased risk) These expressions can be extremely helpful for the young child but - I am really thinking about children who are old enough to form some concepts past survival safety and are moving toward understanding rational logic and are cognizant of concepts. This is why I think we cut them off at the knees many times by not trying to communicate with them in terms that demand our standard to parenting but show respect at the same time. ...other expression that fall under the "Stop That" can communicate less than what we want. "Stop Fighting... "Be Quiet....(Is it becasue we are just irritable and don't want to work at accommodating all needs in the room) "can't you hold still... (The parent may expect an 8 year old to sit still for 2 hours - (give me a break) many adults expect chilodren to act like adults "Do you have to make that much noise with your gum.... (as opposed to please close your mouth when you chew because its noisey and people will not get the best impression) "Whatever you're doing in the next room - Stop it!... (talk about a condescending lazy reproof) (Stop having fun...talking...breathing) it is not to say that a parent is not a valid contributor to training for socially acceptable behavior - but at all points we teach, whether we realize it or not and we need to think about what our comments (these off the cuff quips) actually teach.

I think she and I can agree too - that I need more space on the page between a few lines... Its hard to look at.

Picture Picture Picture Picture yes

okay - maybe nobody will read this, but I will still get reminded of the things I want to think about--up front - thanks Sushi! He (Greg Baer, M.D. breaks these phrase out to: 1. The Lie 2. The Truth 3. Discussion 1st phrase - "how any time do I have to tell you?" I have tried not to say this, I have ,but not often as I am the only 1 out of 4 that is not Dyslexic an there are 2 out of 4 with Add or ADHD n the house, but what I read made me stop using this phrase. The truth: "I can't believe you're so stupid-but you must be, because I have to keep telling you the same things over and over. My life is so empty and unhappy that I require everything around me to go smoothly or I get upset and angry. So when you don't listen to me, or when you inconvenience me in any way, I don't want to think about teaching and loving you. I selfishly attack you and try to make you do what I want." Discussion: "When we feel unloved and empty ourselves, its easy to forget that our role as a parent is to teach and love our children. When we don't have any love to give, we require them to make our lives easier, or at least not to inconvenience us. When they fail to meet that expectation, we attack them. When we say "How many times do I have to tell you..." our children finish that sentence in their heads with the words, "you idiot," or something similar. Its a terrible thing for a child to hear." I think this is saying its a cop out to blame the kid....like the definition of insanity...if you keep telling a kid something and its not working...why do the same thing and expect different results. edited for spelling

Let me first mention the expressions we say to them . "How many times do i have o tell you... "I love you.... "stop that... a frown "Give Mommy a kiss... Where are you going...? -- this one with TONE "You are so... "I just don't know what to do with you... "This room is a pigsty... "Don't you talk to me like that.... "How do you explain these grades.... (like the kid really wanted to do badly) "You make me so mad... "My son/daughter is becoming a real problem.... ____________________________________________________ Consider our teens and tweens phrases: "I didn't have time.... "I love you.... "He hit me first....(more of a child--better worry if its a teen) "Nothin... "I forgot... Silence "I thought you meant..." "...But.... I will comment on these soon, but gotta run a kid somewhere right now.

I think the Houndog and I are a combination of all 3...however, he defers to drill Sargent when I am not around and doesn't see much gray. It also depends on which kids--which phase--ie. teenagers or 1st graders, the temperment at the time....(did the kid get chewed up and spit out at school that day) or is everything looking good....you know there is no real one way.... I have a list of "what they really mean" "what they thought you meant" phrases that are very enlightening to people or are not intuitive to younger methods of communication. I will go get the list.

catnip---Im not kidding :D :)

Ron - as you can imagine -there are a fair number of wolf-hybrid breeders here - and in New Mexico it does require a permit (if one is inclined to buy permits) http://www.nal.usda.gov/awic/newsletters/v5n4/5n4wille.htm Google Wolf Hybrids and you will get a lot of info. I am friends with a guy from Belen. I believe the following link is one he is involved with and he also breeds hybrids. http://www.inetdesign.com/candykitchen/ I know the link has a wierd name, but it should take you there. While it is a Wolf link -- they deal with hybrids as well. http://users.aol.com/wolflvr3/help/rescue.html and finally a book -- http://www.amazon.com/Wolfdogs-Z-Behavior-...s/dp/096677261X

I can so relate to this. I was a BC in west by god texas and our fearless leader said to me once I got an office job that paid half of what my painting/wallpaper jobs paid..."well, now isn't that more like it for a woman" Talk about full of c rap!

If people settle out of court and no records are filed in court dockets....what happens about the whole alleged thing?

I've noticed the magazine in question has gotten very "marketing" oriented...having a nutritionist living next door...she has referred to the mag before, but int he last couple years it seems like nothing but adds or articles that might as well be adds.

at least a no kill shelter?? Our city limits laws say only 4 dogs per household. So --- I may wait a little while but then get another one...it will be a family decision.

Maggie is the Blue Heeler in the foreground. Happy is the furrball. Lady is the fox lab Baby is the poodle mix on the couch. All 4 are rescues.

very cool sand art check this art out...the music and videos are wmv format.

Dot and WG, we lost Maggie (after 15 years) on December 11 at 8:10 pm. She waited until my son and daughter and I got back home that night. She had been slowing down drastically in the 2 weeks before. We carried outside to go to the potty. She no longer could make it down the little step by the sliding glass door and we helped her stand up so she wouldn't mess herself. But on the last day, we came home, I carried her out (she had the look) and she could no longer stand at all. We (my husband and I) held up both front and back parts of her body. She was breathing unusually and I knew it was only a matter of minutes then. We laid her on the sleeping bag that has been her bed for the last year. She began her more labored breathing and her tongue turned very pale. Her lungs were failing and her heart was tired. She gasped a few times and jerked and all this was in about a period of 45 seconds...maybe a minute. But, she died next to my side of the bed where she has slept for almost 15 years...with myself petting her with my daughter and husband as well. she had been loosing her health and I had other family members suggest the vet thing...but how could I have her spend her last hours in a cold unknown place. I preferred to have her to try to keep living at home and we would carry her out to pee and poop as long as she needed us to. I am crying as I write this, I havent "talked about it" with anyone but my friend who helped me get her to the vet for the private cremation. I told them to keep her collar and tags on her because, a. she freaked when you took her collar off, b. that way I know the it will be HER ashes.

Rascal - that's why I am not here much anymore. ... formerly washingtonweather

Dot - I am not great at the theologian thing, but I do have some thoughts. 11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. This sorta points to whole idea that we have a this spiritual (unseen) battle thing happening. like a glaring reminder that its not to be taken at face value. 14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; If loins are the place in our body where the most important parts reside...what are the most important part of of life....things (not really) realationships, careers etc.....It will be different for different people, but ultimately those values need to be filtered with the truth of the God's word that we know and can understand. Breastplates protect---this is a little more elusive --but I think this means when I know I have done my righteous best to be in fellowship my glass is half full. When I know I am not thinking in terms of where I need to be to watch out for me and the things I care about (those things in my loins) then I need to get my sh** together to find solutions. In the case of a medical need...it might be to get a social worker from the city or county involved--it could be deciding my job is worth OR not worth the headaches... 15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; I think change (foot movement) brings peace -- doesnt mean I know always what should be changed...the old question fits here...is one running away or toward something? 16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Trust that the actions decisions you make to change things are God inspired andthat you are led of God for your life 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Remind yourself of your salvation and the power that is there when you have time to get quiet and know that he is God. Kinda like the Red Tent--things do go wrong, but we go through them and come out on the other side---I am also thinking of a book on Rahab I read -- I will get you the author...I will find out this Sunday.and PM me if you want to call me and I will give you my number -- still have those tickets! edited to add a bold

Hi Tex-- welcome to the cafe - a bit like the Iowa caucus.

It seems to me that if the way sicks its dog lawyers on every Christian group that considers or already has used the name "The Way," the will eventually run into the judge that says you cannot copyright this to this extent. It seems that "the way" part of a name is extremely universal and to "own" that is like trying to own "left" or "right" Any thoughts? I also think these other groups will out-number and out-finance the way people eventually.

I have volunteered to many things over the years. Feeding people at the shelters, Singing at Nursing Homes those I have done more than once, I think about the animal shelters too There are so many needy places... check your paper or local church groups or even Hospitals or Senior centers

<_<

MAL Mobile Abundant Living or so the leaders would have you believe Hubby and I still had stuff laying around from that stuff -- It was useful in all the years of doing Cub and Boy Scouts. yeah WG-- i remember all the revisit of it for Y2K.

I just saw the add for that--looks hard for that young boy.

this reminds me of the idea of political correctness and cultural sensitivity. If I don't prefer a cultural paradigm or certain activities am I insensitive? If we cannot agree and find something distasteful - how is it okay to express that and not be accused of being prejudiced or insensitive?

Thank you all very much-- I change my thingy cuz I messed up my login and it seemed easier. I had a good day! I can remember back to many of the beginnings with all of you posters, especially WG and Mr. WG and Belle, Shell and Abby! Love you all