Steve!

Mandatory overtime?

A few years ago I was with my 3 year old niece at a play with an orchestra, and as the orchestra was tuning up, she asked, "Are they rewinding?"

Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows XP on my PC. I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows XP CD. To my surprise he threw it into my oven and turned it on. Instantly I got very upset, cause the CD had become precious to me, but he said, "Do not worry, it is unharmed." After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said, "Take a close look at it." To my surprise the CD was quite cold to hold and it seemed to be heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, an inscription finer than anything I had ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth: "12413AEB2ED4FA5E6F7D78E78BEDE820945092OF923A40EElOE5IOCC98D444AA08E324" "I cannot understand the fiery letters," I said in a timid voice. "No, but I can," he said. "The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English, this is what it says: "'One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them, One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.' "It is only two lines from a verse long known in System lore: 'Three OS's from corporate kings in their towers of glass, Seven from valley lords where orchards used to grow, Nine from dotcoms doomed to die, One from the Dark Lord Gates on his dark throne In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie. One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them, One OS to bring them all And in the darkness bind them, In the Land of Redmond where the Shadows lie.'"

MICROSOFT TREK WORF: Captain, there are three Romulan warships uncloaking dead ahead. PICARD: On screen. [The main viewing screen changes to a pattern of horizontal lines, each only a single pixel wide.] PICARD: Data, what's wrong here? DATA: Captain, the main viewscreen does not have sufficient video memory to display an image of this size. May I suggest that you select a lower resolution? PICARD: Make it so. [The screen blanks, and then an image appears, with big, blocky square pixels. Three objects appear in the center, which could be Romulan warbirds, but which actually look more like the aliens in Space Invaders.] PICARD: Data, open a hailing channel to the Romulans. DATA: Aye, sir. [Data picks up an hourglass from the floor beside him, turns it over, and places it on the console in front of him. He punches some buttons on the console and sits motionless for several seconds. A flash of light blossoms from one of the Romulan ships on the viewscreen.] WORF: Incoming plasma torpedo, Captain! PICARD: Shields up! DATA: I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your last instruction. I must ask you to wait until I have finished before you issue your next command. PICARD: What on earth do you mean? Data, this is *important*! I want those shields up *right now*. DATA: I'm sorry, Captain, but I am still attempting to complete your last instruction. I must ask you to wait until I have finished before you issue your next command. LAFORGE: Allow me, captain. [to Data] Control-alt-delete, Data. [Data removes the hourglass from the console, and returns it to the floor.] DATA: The Romulans are not responding to my hails. Press my nose to cancel and return to Windows. Pull my left ear to close this communications channel which is not responding. You will lose any information sent by the Romulans. [LaForge pulls Data's left ear.] PICARD: Shields... [There is a tremendous explosion. The bridge shakes violently, and all the crew members are thrown to the floor. A shower of sparks erupts from Wesley Crusher's station at the helm, throwing Wesley back away from the console.] PICARD: Up, Data! DATA: Aye, sir. RIKER: All decks, damage report! WORF: Captain, Ensign Crusher is injured. He appears to be unconscious. [Data picks up the hourglass again, places it on his console, and punches some more buttons. He waits a few seconds, then puts the hourglass back on the floor.] DATA: Shields are now up, captain. PICARD: And not a moment too soon. Worf, lock all phasers on the lead Romulan ship. WORF: Aye, sir. [He punches buttons on the weapons console.] PICARD: Mr. Data, take the helm, and prepare for evasive action. DATA: I am sorry, sir, but I do not have the proper device driver installed for that console. PICARD: Well, damn it, install the right one. DATA: Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril. PICARD: Number One, where do we keep Data's setup implants? RIKER: I left them with Geordi. LAFORGE: [in a surprised voice] What!!? I thought you still had them! PICARD: Data, don't you have device drivers stored in your internal memory? DATA: Not found, sir. Please insert Setup Implant #1 in my right nostril. PICARD: Data, I don't *have* Setup Implant #1. DATA: Not ready reading right nostril. Abort, Retry, Fail? PICARD: Abort! DATA: Not ready reading right nostril. Abort, Retry, Fail? PICARD: Well, fail, then! DATA: Current nose is no longer valid. [Data walks over to the helm, and presses several buttons. The ship lurches, the images of the Romulan warships suddenly shift to one side of the viewscreen, and a high-pitched whining noise is heard coming from somewhere else in the ship.] LAFORGE: [alarmed] Data, what the hell are you doing? PICARD: Number One, do we have a customer service number for Data? RIKER: Yes sir, but last time I tried to call them, I got put on hold for two hours before I was able to talk to anyone. And that person wasn't knowledgeable about androids of Data's model. She specialized in industrial control robots. [suddenly, the lights all go out, the viewscreen goes blank, and all the usual noise of fans, motors, and so on whines to a halt. After a few seconds, the red emergency lights come on. Data is standing by the console, absolutely motionless.] PICARD: What's going on? LAFORGE: [checking the helm console] Lieutenant Data has caused a General Protection Violation in the warp engine core. PICARD: These androids look really sharp, but you can't really do anything with them. [The shimmer of the transporter effect appears, and six Romulans in full battle dress materialize on the bridge. A seventh figure, a Ferengi, appears moments later.] FERENGI: [with a mercenary grin] Can I interest you in a Macintosh, Captain?

THE time has come, THE walrus said, to speak of many things - of sailing ships, and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. And THE

You try to rewind your rented DVD before bringing it back. You try to "pause" regular television.

You pity people that only have dialup modems

Warning! a Grammar Police post! "The order of the words in His Word are perfect" is not correct. "The order is perfect" therefore "The order of the words in His Word is perfect" is correct. Rafael, if you weren't a journalist, and Zix, if you weren't so pedantic, I wouldn't say anything. But in this case, I figured I shouldn't let youse guys get away with it. Carry on.

Giordano's is pretty much the same as Gino's and Edwardo's, they are all pretty good. Let me put it this way - they are all Scottie Pippen next to Michael Jordan. A star in his own right, but overshadowed by the greatone. I've never had Pizzeria Uno's pizza, but then I've never met anyone that has had anything good to say about them. Ditto California Pizza Kitchen.

Yes, that's not a typo, both relish AND a dill pickle spear go on the true Chicago Style hot dog. Chicago Style pizza is neither deep dish nor thin crust. It's thick crust pizza. My personal preference is thin crust, but most thin crusts today taste like cracker dough. Rosati's does a pretty good job of thin crust, Barnaby's used to be right up there, and Jake's used to be the very best. As far as deep dish, you can't beat a Lou Malnati's pizza. Edwardo's and Gino's East try, but they just don't come close.

Try right-clicking on the taskbar, then click "Properties". If nothing else, you can always set it to "auto hide". What this does is hide the taskbar when it's not in use. It "unhides" when you move your mouse down where the taskbar is supposed to be, or when you hit the "start" button on your keyboard. [This message was edited by Steve! on May 23, 2003 at 13:11.] [This message was edited by Steve! on May 24, 2003 at 11:57.]

Correction: A true "Chicago style" hot dog has: tomato wedges cucumber slices dill pickle spear celery salt mustard relish onions sport peppers on a poppy seed bun And when they ask what you want on it, if you say "everything", that AUTOMATICALLY includes the peppers. You have to tell them "everything no peppers" if you don't want the hot peppers. And oh the looks you'll get if you dare to put ketchup on them! I know this by experience. But I still do it anyway.

THE sound of one hand clapping . . .

Wayfer not! you've just had a serious encounter with The Twibrain Zone! (cue the music) There is a condition called waybrain that will continue to rear it's fugly head for some time to come. As waybrainisms make themselves apparent, you will: a) feel revulsion b) feel embarassment c) laugh loud and long d) cry a while e) some of the above f) all of the above. Welcome to real life! and freedom.

( * )

When I met Tom he was already a cop. And damn proud of it. He mentioned how he had no sense of smell, and one of the ways he received revelation was: one time during a traffic stop, he "smelled" alcohol on a driver's breath. Ahhhh, Mt. Hood cafe, where was it, wayyy south? only open from 5:30 a.m. until about noon, with their 5-egg omelettes. I've since learned how to make *better* omelettes than those. And if you weren't there by 7 a.m., you had to stand in a line halfway down the block. You did know Beth Warga, right? and that she died of breast cancer back in 82 or 83? She was so wonderful.

Dott - Tim Curry was in "Annie", that movie with Carol Burnett, he play(ed?s?) Mr. French in WB's updated "Family Affair", he was the doctor in Hunt for Red October, Charlie's Angels, ah heck, here's the link: Tim Curry on IMDB

Tim Fennel? or was it Tom? or was Tom Tim's brother? And in 82 or 83 he married Carol someone-or-other, a wonderful gal, you'd probably know her, too. My first year in Po'land I lived with Blair and Cary and a few others in a house at 62nd and . . . Division. Ah, good old Fred Meyer, a Walmart wannabe. And that guy from Blues Traveler, John Popper, sounds so much like Bob Stanley, especially when playing the harmonica. And Au revior, that's what I looked like 19 years ago. I've changed somewhat.

Firedee, if you are gone for 12 hours or more at a time, you *don't* want a dog. However, a cat does pretty well in those situations.

You remember Blair and Cary's wedding? I put together the reception for them. I got an exceptional deal on a couple of cases of champagne, only to be told that we couldn't bring it into the hotel - we had to buy from them. So we snuck it in. It was such a low-budget affair, since Blair and Cary were funding it. Ah, yes, good times.

Wayfernotlookinanymore - Forgive me if I sound a bit arrogant but - I *knew* you'd be back and out! You sounded way too sensible, and way too aware of everything going on, to stay "in". I'm glad you're back.

Sorry, Buck, typo. It should have said '84. I have been out since about 89. St*c*y and *ll*n R*pk* were okay people when I was there. St*c*y was actually really nice, for the most part. Of course, I wasn't all that close to them. But Karen was - she and Rene (I forget her last name, but you had to have known her) were living at the limb home with them.

This was the stick, er, twig fellowdang I was in at the Advanced Class '84 in emporia. I'm the one in the middle wearing sunglasses. [This message was edited by Steve! on January 12, 2003 at 14:07.]

Ah, yeah, Karen. She was super sweet. She really did a lot for my self esteem. Then she went and married a man named Boel. Karen Sue Bowes Boel - go figger.

Yes, I do remember Jan Goins. So since I knew Jan, and since I knew you, ex10, and since you say Daggoo was in Po'land, too, then it would follow that I knew Daggoo, oh so many years ago. Stacy and Allen are out East - their email address is listed on the Cortright site, so I would think that they are out.