What About It

I saw J@cque H*rney at the grocery store a couple weeks ago. She was in a hurry and we chatted for a couple minutes, but she made it clear to me: I like you less now than even the little bit I liked you when you were in residence and when we worked together in the same department at HQ. It wasn't anything she said, but it's just the way she is. She has "pets" as we used to call them when I was in residence, and if you weren't one of her pets, then you were always on her $#1t list. If you were her pet, then you could do no wrong. If I see her again, maybe I'll ask her about arranging the women for the man of God to boink when he came to Gunnison. Then we can see if she likes me even less.

Oh that's awesome!

What an eye-opener. Thanks, Waysider. I need more of these.

Yep, ditto to all. I can finally laugh at the outrageous things I was taught and believed, instead of thinking I'm stupid for having bought their lies. GSC has definitely helped me see that, and also is helping me to consider (i.e., reconsider) other things I haven't even thought of yet as I read them in everyone's posts. Thanks, everyone, in the name of Jesus Christ. You're wonderful, tremendous, and exceeding abundantly above all I could ask or think. In His service, What About It oops, I just meant to say a simple thank you. You know it just slips out sometimes.

Exactly! They say things like: You don't need to own your own home--you just need a place to live [but it must be big enough to run classes and have adequate parking, because don't dare charge room rental fees to HQ for a class]. You don't need to own a new-model car--you just need to get from point A to point B reliably. You don't need to own things when you can just borrow them from others [hmmm...others who OWN them???]. They say ownership is egotistical and that when you own more stuff then you have to invest the time and money into taking care of all that stuff. Oh, okay, so let's just borrow from other people and let them invest the time and money? That's really nice, huh? One of the goofiest things I ever read on home ownership was a newspaper quote of a Way Corps person who said that when you rent then you don't have to pay all the maintenance expenses and property taxes on your property. WTF??? Do you really think those expenses aren't getting passed on to you, you dumb a$$? As for me, I now own a home for the first time in my life (with my hubby of course), and it's the best feeling ever. I love having my very own place. We painted all the walls with color because I'm so sick of apartment-white walls that I could just choke.

You got that right. LCM was the best at that one--he even outright said: Only salvation is by believing--everything else is works. That pretty much sums up the whole ministry.

Now why didn't I think of that when they were asking me that very question! But in TWI they're always trying to one-up the other person for recognition or just to show how much you did or sacrificed for "the word." I think they're better off just going to the closet like Jesus taught on praying, and there bragging to God (b/c they would never dare speak to Jesus--that's idolatry, you know) about how much they did for Him. It's a bunch of arrogance. They're the most arrogant people I've ever met. I'm enjoying a truly humble life now.

I remember when I was an innie and driving, by myself, to see an "unbeliever" friend, who was definitely not an unbeliever but a non-Way believer. At that time the rants from lcm were so extreme about stepping out from God's protection that I thought the adversary could just kill me anytime because (1) I didn't have another Way believer in the car with me and (2) I was going to see a friend who wasn't in the ministry and therefore didn't have all of God's benefits and blessings. That was a horrible time for me. I hated the ministry for the fear it was putting me through, but I was too scared to leave. I also was very conflicted because I couldn't figure out why I thought I was better off before I got in the ministry than I was now, at that time. Of course now I know: I WAS!! And let's talk about bad things happening to people: The worst things that have happened to me were when I was in the ministry and not out. My life was great until I went in. Of course I was only 20 and hadn't lived a lot of life by then. But when I was in the ministry some creep broke into my house and came into my room at night while I was sleeping. He was so quiet, yet I shot up in the bed--I know it was God or Jesus who woke me up (which The Way would take credit for in a heartbeat, but that's another topic)--but it freaked me out so bad to see someone at the foot of my bed in the middle of the night. I was terrified of the dark for months afterward. And then the other horrible thing was living life paranoid during the time I mentioned in the above paragraph. Healthy, well-rounded people do not live terrified like I did then. That is not normal, very unhealthy, and detrimental. BTW, since I've left, I've never been scared of being victimized by another person or even the devil himself. Hmmm...I think I'm better off without the way's false sense of "protection."

I didn't fail the test but I got in huge trouble at my advanced class for asking a question about "seemingly" contradictory teachings on the same record. I asked in my AC twig, and no one knew the answer. And they had let us know that if you have any questions, ask in your twig, and if the twig doesn't know then the coord. will ask the forehead at their "special" meeting. So my coord. asks the forehead and apparently he was livid! Lesson learned: Just Don't Question The Teachings! If mark and avoid had been a policy back then, I'd prob. been sent packing. Hmmm...maybe that wouldn't have been so bad after all.

Thanks everyone for all the great input. I also appreciate being able to see other outies' perspectives. I'll look into some of the books mentioned. Another person I know (off GSC) mentioned counseling, too. Can't reply to everyone, but I've appreciated all of the posts.

Yep, Kelly and Mike are of course still at HQ. Terry married Curtis Hand--North carolina I think?

Cristie married Matt Mullins (son of biggies Tom and Brenda Mullins) several years ago. They have a daughter, Elizabeth, and are both still working and going to school for masters/doctorate degrees--she in technical writing and he in philosophy. I think they are in Illinois currently, at Northwestern U. She's on Facebook: Cristie Mullins.

This is a f*cked up post and only part of the story. I know her. You can email me.

They came to HQ on staff in the mid-2000s (maybe 04 or 05). All seemed well and then suddenly they got kicked off grounds, kicked off staff, and then a very short time later got divorced. She's in Sidney, Ohio, now, and Jeff is right around New Bremen or so. He was working at a golf course last time I talked to him.

Bodie is out, and I think he still lives in CO. You can catch up with him on Facebook under the name Bodhi Gerfen.

I think someone has some wrong information. I worked with Gene at HQ up until 2008, when I left (HQ and TWI). Gene and Sherry were still married and have a son, Elijah, born August 9, 1992, and just graduated from NKHS. Judging from Elijah's pics on Facebook, I'd have to say Gene and Sherry are most likely still married. Elijah is still a staff kid, living in the unit park, which he most likely wouldn't be if his parents were divorced.

She's on Facebook. See if this link works: http://www.facebook.com/#!/jenne.brown?ref=ts

She's on staff at HQ.

Is it Paula Wigell?

Hello everyone. I've been out for almost 2 years and have just started to realize that I need help to "get over it," after being in for 23 years. Who better to turn to than former innies who are now outies. But before I get into the deeper questions, first I'd like to apologize to all of you. I thought you were just a bunch of Way-bashers and that I had more important things to do with my time and life. I'm starting to see that although that may be a small (albeit sometimes kinda fun!) thing that goes on at the Cafe, you run much deeper than that. You're here for each other for support--and that's what I need right now. You're here because we all have something in common. You're also here to shed light on the lies that we were told. You're here to show that we're not what the great man of God said we'd be if we left: grease spots. Please accept my apology. Now, on to my questions: What has helped you to get over it--to continue without the mental grip of TWI on your mind? Basically all of my standards for life are straight from the Way, where most of my entire adult life was spent (got in when I was 20, out when I was 43). I've had to come to grips with big issues like debt, homosexuality, and religion; and other simpler things on a day-to-day basis, like reading the Bible, interacting with non-Wayfers, and figuring out my relationship with my husband outside of the cult. Can't really say I've "come to grips" with these things yet, but at least now I know that I have to. What have you done, read, said to yourself, drank (jk), to help you when you don't even realize that you're living your life based on your past twisted experiences in the Way, and then you finally see that it still has a grip on you, you're still living in its bondage? You need to change, because they f*cked you up, you allowed it, whatever--I don't really care about that right now. What I care about is how do you do it? How do you deal with the insult to your intelligence to know that you were in a corrupt cult, but you couldn't see it for all those years? You thought it was God's chosen ministry, and now you know it was a bunch of lies, scandals, and hypocrisy. What a slap in the face. How have you reconciled that in your mind?

I went WOW twice, and both years were pretty much a letdown. The ROA was great at stirring up emotions, and so you'd leave HQ with a real emotional high, only to be let down as time passed, things became routine, and you realized that people are just people--not superhumans, yourself included. I heard from someone that Way D is the brainchild of a conversation between the Forehead and T_m L_lly on the deck of the chalet where they were trying to come up with a program to replace WOW but wanted for it to have "teeth" in it, wanted for it to be tough for people. Doesn't all really good revelation come from wishing for tough times on God's people? More corruptness.

Thanks, Waysider! But, do I have to write you a thank you card?

Thanks, Twinky. I've read a bit here and there, but not a whole lot. I'm just figuring out the site. I finally understand all the food and coffee pics and quotes--now that's funny! I'll see what I can come up with, although imagination isn't my greatest asset. Hopefully GSC will help me sort a few things out and see how other people have gotten over it. One reason I'm here on GSC is for change, so I'd welcome my ideas changing in the next few months. I'm definitely not over it, but you're right--life is good and definitely better out than in.

How about the gift policy. Oh, the no-gift policy. I'm sure it's been discussed here a million times, but I'm new to GSC. So when the no-gift policy comes about, because the corps weren't paid jack.... and their followers wanted to help them out with some "stuff," Forehead thinks everyone is taking bribes and now will become blinded, "spiritually" of course (that overused adjective to make people sound or feel, well, spiritual--when they weren't). OK, so what does Forehead do? He had just finished recording one of his classes (foundational maybe?) and wouldn't that suck for him to not be able to receive gifts for all his hard "spiritual" work. So he was the only one who could receive gifts, for this "spiritually" significant occasion, when no one else (corps) could. I guess this is just another way that everyone could bless the man of god without actually having sex with him.

Thanks, newlife. I've been out for less than 2 years now, so I'm still sorting a lot of garbage out. I got in when I was 20--young and naive, like you were too. So I can relate to a lot of what you posted: nothing to compare it to, you're the scholars, etc. And I think I'm just getting a glimpse of the work I'm going to have to put into truly getting over it. I thought, at first, that I could just go on and continue to love God, but now I realize that I don't even know who He is and that I'm suspicious of everything I hear. But one thing is for sure: I definitely don't want any "experts" telling me how to live my life.