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Parenting According to TWI


Belle
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Synopsis of “The Foundation of Parenting: God’s Word” an anonymous article in TWI’s latest rag. (I think it’s D. Martindale writing, but have no proof. I will use “she” in reference to the author of the article)

How can families start their day the right way? is the subtitle

“Every morning millions of people get off to the wrong start!” proclaims a tv commercial. She says that the ad goes on to promote a certain brand of coffee to get the day off on the right foot. With or without coffee, starting the day in the right way ia an important issue in the fast-paced culture we live in. The issue of starting the day right is so significant, according to the author, that companies promote the sale of their products around it. How can believers best get their day started the right way? She says we’re going to consider some helpful steps families can take physically, entally and spiritually to start the day the right way – with the peace of God as the standard.

Why would believers want to start their day peacefully? The Bible plainly advises that we seek peace and pursue it. She reminds us of Psalms 34:14 where we are told to depart from evil and doog good; seek peace….. She says that we can see that being at peace requires some effort on our part.

Romans 14:19 also tells the believer what God’s heart is for being peaceful, “let us therefore follow after the things that make for peace….” She says the words “follow after” mean to pursue, to seek after eagerly or to earnestly work toward acquiring. Again, she says, we can see that this takes some action. We, as believers, are to pursue, seek after eagerly, and earnestly endeavor to have peace.

The bedrock of a believer’s peace is found in what JC accomplished. She uses Romans 5:1 to show that we are justified by faith and so we have peace with God through Jesus. We’re just as if we’d never sinned. We have peace with God because of the prince of peace and all that he accomplished by his life, death, resurrection and then ascension.

She reminds us, also, of Col. 3:15 which says, “And let the peace of God rule ….. “ and that the word “rule” is to umpire. The word refers originally to the activity of the umpire at the games who was to direct, arbitrate and decide the competition. The umpire determines the application of the “rule book” in an objective and impartial way in a contest. She says that, as believers, we let the peace of God umpire in the same objective way. We just use God’s “rule book” to determine what to think, what to believe and what action to take as we start our day.

I'll complete this as I get time.

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She goes into the Amplified of Col 3:15. Then she says that if our mornings are hectic and getting off to the wrong start, a key deciding factor should be to ask if we’re at peace. If the answer is “not as often as I would like,” then pursue it. This is how….

Consider the physical side of life. she says one very important ingredient to starting the day the “right way” (she uses “right way” constantly through this article – no variation. I wonder why…..) is to be rested. Our bodies need good rest to stay at peak performance. For the average adult, research shows that going to bed in time to receive seven to eight hours of sleep helps the body and mind function to the optimum level. Children, she says, frequently require more than eight hours. Once we’re awake, a breakfast full of nutrition helps contribute to our bodies functioning at its best.

She says that getting the best amount of rest and nutritional food rquires thinking ahead to provide them. Preparing on the weekend for the coming week and in the evening for the next day helps us get the day going in “the right way” in such a way as to not leave us feeling rushed or hurried.

During our weekends we could prepare ahead for the week by doing the family finances, filling the car with gas, shopping for groceries and preparing healthy meals. Other things we may need to prepare: laundry, ironing, changing sheets and cleaning the house. Having major tasks done ahead of time leaves the weeknights free to take care of day-to-day responsibilities (like TWIt functions??)

Some things can be done the night before to help the morning run more smoothly. She says that we should have the children pack their school lunches or “Mom” could set out the next days lunch money. Each member of the family could set out the clothing for the next day and get together needed materials (schoolbooks, homework, permission slips, work papers). In the evening baths or showers could also be taken. Schedules and travel arrangements for after school can be resolved and each person could take a few moments to plan the next day on paper.

She says that when responsibilities like these are already taken care of, the morning should run more smoothly and peacefully, provided we get up early enough to carry out the morning’s tasks that remain. Some examples of these are starting the day off with the Father in mind, taking care of personal grooming, eathing and leaving the house on time to not be rushed.

Now that she’s helped us consider the physical aspects of starting our day “the right way”, she wants us to consider what we need to do to mentally start our day with God’s peace. She wants us to start the day in prayer with our heavenly Father because it’s a peaceful approach to the day.

Mark 1:35 talks about Jesus getting up in the morning to pray. She says he began his day early, in peaceful solitude and in prayer. She says we should be able to see from this verse that he started his day by getting up early enough to have the time to get to a quiet spot and to pray. Prayer in the morning is a key ingredient to starting our day “in the right way” according to the author. She notes, however, that for a mother with small children, this might be as simple as a prayer while she takes a morning bath since it could be the only personal time all day.

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Psalms 55:17

Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray and cry aloud; and he shall hear my voice.

She so eloquently and brilliantly explains this verse to us by saying that David prayed often, starting in the morning and continuing throughout the day. We as believers, she continues, can begin our day with prayer, knowing that God will hear our voice.

Ps 5:3

My voice shalt thou hear…..

Ps 63:1

O God….early will I seek thee…..

She tells us that starting our day thankfully and even with singing is a good thing and it gives boost to our peaceful mental status.

Ps 92:1-2

It is a good thing to give thanks…..

Ps 59:16-17

But I will sing of thy power; yea, I will sing aloud…….

She ways we can sing songs like, “Expect Miracles”, “This is the Day”, and “Rejoice in the Lord Always” and think about how thankful we are to have every need supplied according to the scriptures. Calling to mind the benefits we have builds our believing for the day. She says that we might even continue with these songs and thoughts as we continue our morning activities.

Ps. 61:8

So will I sing praise

Eph 5:19-20

Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns…..

Col 3:16

And let the peace of God….

We can plainly see that these ingredients to peaceful living; being thankful and letting scripture richly dwell in us, admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, and singing with grace in our hearts to the Lord.

With regard to letting the Word dwell in us richly, she says there are a variety of ways we can put the Word in our hearts in the morning, depending on the season of life we’re in. For a believer with no dependents, a rich study of the Bible in the morning can pave the way for a peaceful day. A mother of small children might enjoy fifteen minutes of reading a Church Epistle or Psalms before the kids get up. A father with a long commute could listen to audio of the Bible, STS or Studies in Abundant Living collaterals. A bus ride could provide the time for someone to read the pocket Bible. Whatever means we use, she says, it is necessary for us to have God’s Word as a staple to start our day.

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Now she wants us to look at the spiritual side of life in our quest for “the right way” to start our day.

1 Cor 14:4

He that speaketh in an unknown tongue edifieth himself….

She quotes vee pee from RHST saying that to edify means to build up, to make strong. We aren’t strong in our mind because the mind doesn’t understand…

This manifestation is the only evidence mentioned in the Bible which is specifically for building up the believer in the spirit.

Do you want to be personally edified, built up in the strength of the Lord and have the power of His might in your life? Then you must speak much in tongues.

When we speak in tongues, it’s the spirit within us which is in direct communication with God.

1 Cor 14:2

For he that speaketh in an unknown tongue…..

What could be more wonderful than a direct communication with God? She says this is what we are doing when we speak in tongues.

She says that we may not always comprehend by our five senses what our SIT specifically does. She says that God’s word, which is his heart, tells us the benefit. So, we trust and obey his word just as a child trusts and obeys his parents, even if he doesn’t completely understand the situation. We speak in tongues much, knowing from the scriptures that it edifies, builds up and strengthens our spiritual faculties. As we begin our day, she says, we want to be spiritually strong, so we speak much in tongues.

We have seen that starting our day “the right way” – with God’s peace in our hearts – is available as we prepare by getting a good night’s sleep, eating a healthy breakfast, getting things ready the night before. We begin and live our day in prayerful thanksgiving, singing with grace in our hearts, letting the word dwell in us richly. She says we also speak in tongues much. By taking these believing actions we are pursuing peace and can start our day free of frustration, irritation, rushing and distress.

Each week we can choose a category to focus on and develop in our house. We can show people these helpful steps and help them start their days physically, mentally and spiritually “the right way” too.

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phew.... what the heck :confused:

“The Foundation of Parenting: God’s Word”

How can families start their day the right way?

This information has been out in book form for years now. With all the structure w/in TWI, why would this even be needed?...

And, if God's Word was the active UMPIRE w/in TWI, there wouldn't be anyone around the place anymore, since they are NOT doers of the Word... they don't physically help anyone outside their own SHRINKNG walls... they would have been DISQUALIFIED YEARS AGO!

That was some difficult, annoying reading there Belle... you okay? :cryhug_1_:

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Some of this stuff is just practical and logical, but this article makes it into a religion. I try to have 5 days worth of clothes in the closet ready to go on Monday morning, not so I can be peaceful and godly or whatever this woman was talking about, but so I can sleep 15 more minutes! :blink: But if I don't, I don't.

This is awfully complicated and explained and explained and explained again.

No spontaneity, no allowances made for the kid who throws up on your shoes as the schoolbus pulls up to the curb. And the mother of small children is supposed to take a bath in the morning? I thought she was supposed to take a shower the night before.

And one other random thought. Obviously the author of this article is pretty sure her audience is too stupid to figure all this out for him/herself. Were there any recipes attached for a properly nutritional (nutritious) breakfast? Maybe a menu plan should have been included.

It bothers me a lot that the children are to be so regimented. A lot!

WG

Edited by Watered Garden
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What a HOOT!------ First the physical aspect: Get lots of sleep. Good advise ,of course , unless you happen to be in a training proram where sleep deprivation is the norm. I can remember sitting in a FELLOWLABORERS meeting where this very subject was taught. In essense, it was stated that the more you spoke in tongues ,the less need you would have for sleep. Carry it one stp farther and you can imagine why you wouldn't want to be caught yawning or dozing off. GOD forbid any hint of a catnap. This would mean you simply weren't pulling your weight in the SIT dept. Eat nutritionally: Of course this makes sense but even a bird requires an adequate amount to stay healthy. Next the spiritual: You must SIT much to build up the spirit within you .Are we talking about CHRIST IN YOU or the baby Jesus? It's all there with a full tank of gas( or E85) Wasn't there an example in PFAL about a man who believed GOD would show him which train his wife was arriving on? I guess he would have been out of luck if he hadn't started his day with lots of SIT. This is not about parenting, it's about allowing your mind to listen and obey to an outside source and ,no, I don't mean GOD. And BTW; no it was not part of any ageement that was signed before entering the program nor would it have been prudent to challenge the leadership on it's validity.

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What, she didn't mention the rod of correction? She didn't tell them that if they beat their kids into submission with a wooden spoon their mornings would be more peaceful?

I thought this right away too Abigail.... Maybe this is one of those 'mandatory parental behaviors' that are reserved ONLY for verbal teaching... if it were in writing, TWI could be held liable :who_me:

Watered Garden Posted Today, 02:29 PM

It bothers me a lot that the children are to be so regimented. A lot!

WG

Might be better for folks who enjoy this type of behavior to just have a dog... better yet, a couple of fish :unsure: Their maintenance can be easily planned right into that structured routine~

(Just to add... We love routine on school mornings... but there is more room for spontaneity in there...)

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Thanks, SafariVista! Just reminds me of how absolutely thankful I am that I don’t have to listen to, read or pretend to live that crap on a regular basis. I’M FREE!!! :D

The issue of starting the day right is so significant, according to the author, that companies promote the sale of their products around it.
Actually, companies will make anything seem significant to sell their product. *rolleyes*
Why would believers want to start their day peacefully?

Why would anyone want to start their day peacefully? Seems like a ‘no-brainer’, even for this rube. Even a drug addict would like to start the day peacefully.

The next four paragraphs are just different ways of saying, “seek peace and pursue peace.” So redunant! What bothers me is when she quotes a verse and then says the exact same thing that the verse says….. like we can’t read or understand it from just the verse alone?

And I’m sorry, but that “umpire” definition and example is so old. I can still repeat it two years later.

She goes into the Amplified of Col 3:15. Then she says that if our mornings are hectic and getting off to the wrong start, a key deciding factor should be to ask if we’re at peace.

No Sh1t Sherlock! Could ya help point out some more obvious things for me?

This physical stuff: eight hours of sleep, eating a healthy breakfast, easing into the day… all common sense. All taught everywhere and without the mechanical “suggestions”.

Those of us from the TWI of the 90’s can see right now how this “routine” is going to be “strongly suggested” at fellowships and then people will be expected to “report back” how “blessed” they are having their children pick out their clothes the night before.

Sorry, but some days I change clothes three or four times before feeling comfortable. “Fat days” are the worst! Even if I had set something out the night before, it would most likely be the last thing I felt like when I got up. And, something I never understood…. why set your clothes out the night before? Where do you put them? They slide off the foot of the bed with the way I sleep, most of them are hanging clothes, putting them on the chair is no quicker than pulling them out of the drawer right next to that chair…. Or pulling them out of the closet.

Four more paragraphs on sleep and eating. How many times can you say the same thing?

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During our weekends we could prepare ahead for the week by doing the family finances, filling the car with gas, shopping for groceries and preparing healthy meals. Other things we may need to prepare: laundry, ironing, changing sheets and cleaning the house.
We could do those things then or we could enjoy the week-ends with our family. We could use that time to visit friends on the other side of town, out of town, going to the lake, the beach, the park… doing normal things. We could work in our yard or do other home improvement projects for fun in our house.

Like we need someone to tell us when to do those things? Your supposed to change your sheets weekly?

How many people, realistically, prepare meals ahead of time? I tried it when I was married, but it’s just no fun spending all day in the kitchen.

Schedules and travel arrangements for after school can be resolved and each person could take a few moments to plan the next day on paper.

I guess they are still pushing having day timers and “scheduling the devil out” of your day. I wonder if it’s in 15 minute increments or if they’re allowed larger chunks of time now.

She says that when responsibilities like these are already taken care of, the morning should run more smoothly and peacefully, provided we get up early enough to carry out the morning’s tasks that remain. Some examples of these are starting the day off with the Father in mind, taking care of personal grooming, eathing and leaving the house on time to not be rushed.
Like we don’t know this??? Maybe TWIt is an apt term if they really need someone to tell them these things….
Mark 1:35 talks about Jesus getting up in the morning to pray. She says he began his day early, in peaceful solitude and in prayer. She says we should be able to see from this verse that he started his day by getting up early enough to have the time to get to a quiet spot and to pray. Prayer in the morning is a key ingredient to starting our day “in the right way” according to the author

They always use this verse and the one in Proverbs about the virtuous woman getting up before her family to “encourage” folks to get up at unreasonable hours of the morning to follow TWIt doctrine.

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This is all so rediculous. Who doesn't know they need and want to have enough sleep. Who doesn't know they need and want to eat well etc etc. These are all things that everyone knows unless you are complete moron. Praying, fine with me or meditate or quite time alone thinking about your day, week, and life. Great. In fact, that last one even better. If you don't allow yourself to reflect on your day and your life in general you might not think much about the overbearing religous group you are involved with. If you want to SIT, great, although my experience is it is not required for having a peaceful moring with the family the way sleep is.

I guess my big question is, WHY? Why do they feel they need to write an article about this? Are most of twi followers this brain dead and with a family that is hanging by a thread, unable to figure out how to have a nice morning together? I don't think so. Although, now, if you have any morning stress you are without excuse, I guess.

The thing is everyone has rough mornings even if you do all those things. Kids are tough. Parenting is not easy. It can be a roller coaster. You kind of get used to it and everyone needs to except that no one is perfect and no one is exactly the same. Scheduling and planning is not the answer to it all. There has to be a balance and encouragment of structure and spontaneity, consistency while chosing your battles, attention and indepenence.

I would say that most parents know these things unless you are crackheads. Which BTW, is not who twi caters to. So what is the point? I think you know. Selling "spiritual" self-help classes, books, magazines, etc. and control.

Oh, and the funniest part of the article is the begining, when she asks why believers would want to have peace in the morning and then quotes some Bible. LOL Boy, that sure answered that question. I was really scratching my head. :rolleyes: And here I thought it was the same reason why everyone else wants peace in the morning.

HAHA, Belle, we were posting at the same time and thinking the same thing right down to the crackheads. :biglaugh:

Edited by lindyhopper
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Psalms 55:17

Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray and cry aloud; and he shall hear my voice.

She so eloquently and brilliantly explains this verse to us by saying that David prayed often, starting in the morning and continuing throughout the day. We as believers, she continues, can begin our day with prayer, knowing that God will hear our voice.

How nice. Read us the verse and then tell us exactly what we read. I’m so glad she did that; I never would have known what David meant by that verse.
With regard to letting the Word dwell in us richly, she says there are a variety of ways we can put the Word in our hearts in the morning, depending on the season of life we’re in. For a believer with no dependents, a rich study of the Bible in the morning can pave the way for a peaceful day. A mother of small children might enjoy fifteen minutes of reading a Church Epistle or Psalms before the kids get up. A father with a long commute could listen to audio of the Bible, STS or Studies in Abundant Living collaterals. A bus ride could provide the time for someone to read the pocket Bible.

What about the mothers and women with long commutes? It’s like that never happens. Now the poor folks who DO commute are going to be hounded to make sure they have all the CDs TWI puts out so they can listen to them over and over and over and over again.

Whatever means we use, she says, it is necessary for us to have God’s Word as a staple to start our day.
This sentence alone is going to give them license to pry into the private lives of their folks.
She says that we may not always comprehend by our five senses what our SIT specifically does. She says that God’s word, which is his heart, tells us the benefit. So, we trust and obey his word just as a child trusts and obeys his parents, even if he doesn’t completely understand the situation.

I never felt rejuvinated and refreshed when SITting. Isn’t this telling us to “just have faith”? Don’t they laugh at churches for saying that to folks?

Each week we can choose a category to focus on and develop in our house. We can show people these helpful steps and help them start their days physically, mentally and spiritually “the right way” too.

Who wants to bet that TWIts have an assigment each week of which aspect of this article to apply in their homes? Who wants to bet they have to teach on it and share how ‘blessed’ they are for following this formula and acting like they’ve never heard this stuff before?

It’s so elementary, common sense and totally unreasonable for some households. WG, I don’t like the little robototrons they make children into. SafariVista, my DOG has more freedom, personality and spontaneous play moments than those kids are probably allowed. :( I’m thinking they should just get mother in law tongues – those things can be neglected and ignored while still thriving.

I'm sorry, I have to laugh. If I were new to TWI or if some TWIt was "witnessing" to me and showed me this article. I'd run quickly in the other direction! Lindy, I agree, why do they need an article like this? That's the scariest part.

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What, she didn't mention the rod of correction? She didn't tell them that if they beat their kids into submission with a wooden spoon their mornings would be more peaceful?

Thankfully my family did not run into this attitude in any of the twigs we were a part of. The rod of correction was never overly emphasized (I do believe in using it), but a tool to be used in rearing our children. No mothers or fathers we hell bent on beating their kids into submission, but rather understanding and loving. When the rod was used it was only a tap on the rear end, with no marks or bruising.

My daughter was born and raised in in The Way until she was 16, and has fond memories of her time there, except for the Way Disciple's 6 months period. She does not feel she was beaten into submission and looks back on the adults as loving and kind.

I can recall one boy who was diagnosed with Attention Deficient Disorder, and pains were taken by his parents and the twig to understand him, and to be accepting. He got into a lot of trouble at school but the result was never to beat him. He is now 22, and my daughter sees him from time to time, and says he is much more relaxed today. His parents did not give him any drugs as the doctors and school wanted, but spent much time understanding teaching him how to be more peaceful.

Often times the only Way Corp around were leaders in another city. Regular 'wayfers' were coordinators in the cities, so we did not have the heavy hand of the Way Corp coming down on us day in and day out. I think non Corp parents were much more relaxed and not into the regimentation of Corp. When the Corp went full time and the coordinators had to be Corps I left and my wife and I split up. She and our daughter stayed in for a couple more years, but took off when all the crap about LCM started hitting the fan.

Edited by Stayed Too Long
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Oh the stories I could tell, Stayed too Long. Some I have, some I never will in a public forum. Sufficient to say the advice I was given and the pressure that was placed on me and my children's father made our experience very very different from yours.

However, I am thankful that I got out while my kids were very very young. I am also thankful that my heart would not be ignored, but SCREAMED at me that what I was being told to do was WRONG.

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Oh the stories I could tell, Stayed too Long. Some I have, some I never will in a public forum. Sufficient to say the advice I was given and the pressure that was placed on me and my children's father made our experience very very different from yours.

However, I am thankful that I got out while my kids were very very young. I am also thankful that my heart would not be ignored, but SCREAMED at me that what I was being told to do was WRONG.

I am sorry to hear of the heavy handedness so many experienced at the hands of The Way Corp and others when it came to child rearing. Some of the children have posted here concerning their up bringing; something I would not wish on anyone.

Thank you for sharing some of your experiences.

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I guess my big question is, WHY? Why do they feel they need to write an article about this? Are most of twi followers this brain dead and with a family that is hanging by a thread, unable to figure out how to have a nice morning together? I don't think so.

TWI is running out of stuff to teach? No NEW, FRESH Word of God being inspired or given to them perhaps?... hummm

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I'm sorta surprised no one has said the obvious ... that Donna has several free Corps and Staff "slaves" to do her washing, ironing, dusting, cooking, etc. I bet she hasn't had to do any of those things for herself since she was in residence in the Way Corps. So where does she get off telling other people what to do? I'm sure we could ALL be well-rested and have nutritious, unhurried breakfasts if we had the kind of FREE help SHE does.

However, good housekeeping and nutritious eating doesn't make up for the awful way she has used God's people and, if accounts of those that know are correct, how she uses her "free time" is in a way not approved by the Heavenly Father, according to the latter verses of Romans 1. Very convenient how no OTHER separated or divorced woman wrote for the Way Rag ... nope, they were all sent packing, usually marked and avoided because of their spouse's wrongdoing ... just goes to show Donna has an "in" with La Presidente that the other folks didn't have.

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Stayed Too Long, my son was diagnosed with ADHD and we were told to GET RID OF HIM! When he was smaller, he was to be severely thrashed for every twitch. It just depended on who you were with, where you were, etc.

Incidentally, the illustrious author of this article left out the spiritual importance of leaving for work 30 minutes earlier than usual to avoid the interminably long "spectator delays" on the way to work, if there has been a fender bender up ahead of you.

But I guess if you have "in-depth spiritual perception and awareness" you will know it's going to happen and take another route.

I still think this is moronic. I'm all for organization and doing things decently and in order, but too much regimentation can seriously inhibit the kind of spontaneity that can add joy to one's life.

Example: I have a 3 year old grandson. When we go for walks together, he does not look straight ahead and march along at a swift pace. He sees a rock, and must stop and examine it and show it to me. Now if I had regimented into my tightly organized day exactly, precisely and specifically 10 minutes for a brisk march up and down the street with him, I would miss the joy of his amazement and delight at the size, shape, appearance and texture of that rock, which to me is just a part of the driveway, but to his fresh young eyes is a miracle! And I'm for miracles!

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Watered Garden your son should not have had to endure what he did at the hands of TWI, and for them to tell you to get rid of him.....very ruthless. I count myself fortunate to have never encountered such people in my years. I think being in Montana, with not too many people, helped as there were not many Corps here. And once the Corps went full time and showed up in force, I got out.

I does amaze me how people remain in TWI after being exposed to all the harm they inflicted on families and children. More amazing is how people remain in Roman Catholicism, who have harmed exponentially more families and children, but that is another thread sometime.

Hope things are going well with you and your family, WG.

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